View Single Post
Old 01-26-2012, 04:12 AM


Nudies! You've been waiting for this mention. There have some parodies, but few XXX ones. I can name off the top of my head just two. Before you ask, sorry, both covers feature nudity so I won't post them. I just made you sad in the pants. It did me, I had to read the detailed review for the one below.

Get this crap over with - "Porn Of The Dead". Released in April 2005 from Metro Studios under its Loaded Digital line, directed by Rob Rotten.

Oh man, this is messy and disgusting, take a real Hollywood zombie splatterfest then mix it with a porno. I'm glad I've never seen this. The stills were bad enough, gory sex. NO. I'll pass. There is no central plot, this is a gonzo release; five unrelated scenes featuring the undead with little to no dialog.

There two scenes that I'm lightly going to mention as examples. Think oral sex, now make that member a bloody one. Take the reverse situation - now make that bloody too. Sick sad world, Daria. Sick, sad world. Should you care, there's a porno version of "Re-Animator" called "Re-Penetrator". I'll pass too.

What I can tell you is that this DVD features an all death metal soundtrack (why of course), behind-the-scenes featurette (forty-eight minutes), trailers and slide show gallery. Audio is Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo. Retails for $25.99. The runtime is 101 minutes.

This repulsion stars Sierra Sinn, Hillary Scott, Trina Michaels, Ruby Knox, Nikki Jett, Dirty Harry (not that one - Clint isn't that hard up; oh a double entendre), Alec Knight, Buster Good, Trent Tesoro, Joey Ray, Jenner, Rob Rotten and Johnny Thrust. As mentioned this is a Rotten film (another one - zing!).

Let me make this crystal clear. Rotten is the kind of director that Christian groups rally against porn to, lumping his movies with the rest. The man makes extreme videos. Not the normal, happy-fun porn (Tori Black). The kind that very, very, very few people are into. The sick stuff as in this case; dismemberment, necrophilia and some serious religious blasphemy. Look, I'm an atheist and I'm offended. I put Rotten in the same camp as Rob Black. I don't need to explain him further than two words - "simulated rape". Stay away. It's a blight on the industry.

All righty.

Next up is a XXX vid released in October 2008, "Night Of The Giving Head", clever title from Exquisite; directed by Rodney Moore. Oh noes! I'm scarrred!!! Run for them there hills, Linda Lovelace has returned from the dead! *smiles* The runtime is 101 minutes too.

This story driven blue movie stars Amber Rayne, Caroline Pierce, Nikki Rhodes, Rucca Page, Samantha Sin and Christian. The DVD has a slide show gallery, bloopers and making the soundtrack featurette; presentation in anamorphic widescreen. It retailed for $29.95. Plot? Ha-ha!!!

Due to Global Warming, holes are popping in the ozone layer. This environmental woe is making some semen wonky. Ladies who get *cough* a treat become effected. They crave non-stop man salsa. That the set-up; four girls are now trapped in a hilltop house with THEM lurking and horny outside. The horror! It's up to the local sheriff to save the day. Not gonna to leave you hanging (zing!), a cure is eventually found. I'm gonna guess... unaffected semen. Now you may be pointing, 'hey that's a plot hole'. Don't finger that, it's porno logic, it right up there with horse sense. Have I seen this? Nope. Why? I've seen stills, it looks very amateurish - like a bad high school play. Why see it when I can watch a better blue flick? Maybe something with Alexis Texas, Holly Michaels, Dana Dearmond or Gage (remember her?).

Okay there is this, not a video, not even adult - mature, yes. Published from 2007 - 2008 from Image Comics under their Crawl Space line was a four issue zombiesploitation mini-series called "XXXombies"...

The year is 1977. Porn director Wong Hung Lau has two days to film on location, a house. He's under a lot of stress and debt. Hung Lau has locked his talent and crew inside to keep them from being distracted. You can pretty much guess what happens next. Things go bad as they find Los Angeles quarantined because of the undead plague. Things get worse, not so much from the zombies, but from Italian mobsters who have come to get their money owed from Hung Lau. More trouble and possible salvation comes from a pissed off dad of the one the girls; who is responsible for turning his princess into a whore???

I do not own them, but these puppies are on my list.

- - - - - - - - - -


There is another remake coming out this year, the release date is in flux. This is called "Night Of The Living Dead: Origins 3D". A CGI animated retelling; the group comes together not in a farm house in the sticks, but trapped in a modern day New York City apartment. The teaser I saw was okayish, the animation looked like something the Syfy channel would produce. So that's the downside. The project was directed by Zebediah de Soto. He co-wrote the screenplay with David R. Schwartz. This has taken over two years to get done, it was first annouced in the Fall of 2009.

What I DO like is the cast of voice actors; Danielle Harris as Barbara, Alona Tal as Helen Cooper and Joseph Pilato as Harry Cooper - the man who played Captain Rhodes in the third sequel, "Day Of The Dead" (1985). But what really has me all hopeful is that Bill Moseley and Tony Todd are reprising their roles from the 1990 version; Todd as Ben, Moseley as Johnny. How cool is that?! Please don't suck. What I would prefer to see is the same CGI animated level/style as "Resident Evil: Degeneration", that worked perfectly.

Yeah, you may be saying; 'Hey JohnIan there was another version in 3D'. True, but it wasn't that good. The print they used was not so great, plus NOTLD ('68) was never in 3D. So the final effect is so-so at best.

Fine. Released from Slingshot Entertainment on August 1st, 2004 was "The Ultimate 3D Horror Collection: Vol 2" - inside were two wired shutter glasses, the Video Synchronization Controller box and three (public domain) movies. The films (DVDs) were "Dementia 13" (1963), "Little Shop Of Horrors" (1960) and NOTLD. It originally sold for $99.99, now it can be found for $38.99. The 3D effects had some depth perception, but that's it. As you may have expected, I don't own this nor do I have interest in buying. There you go. True, some time later those glasses became wireless.

- - -

This is something I would love as a poster hanging on my wall. A tribute to artist Patrick Nagel by Matt Busch. The cover to the comic book annual #1, L.A. convention variant (250 at the convention; 1,500 copies for the reprint) from Avatar Press, 2008.

How friggin' cool is that? If you grew up in the late 1970s and early '80s you've seen his work, Nagel. The man had the eye for the female form. His artwork has appeared on album covers and in Playboy plus many others. For some bizarre reason his art adorn hair and nail salons' windows. You've seen them.

He died of a heart attack in his car in 1984; a bit of wicked irony, he died after making an appearance at an American Heart Association celebrity fund-raising event.

Busch did second Nagel inspired cover, same comic book annual, but for the Wizard World, Philadelphia convention (same year). A limited edition of 1,500 copies. *sigh* I'll be honest, it didn't have the same umph as the West Coast cover.

- - -

There's a short (six minutes) out there called, "Night Of The Living Dead Mexicans" (2008), a parody. I would like to see that, couldn't be any worse than "Night Of The Living Bread" (1990).

- - - - - - - - - -


One last topic before I close this big ass crypt...

This is something I don't know. I'm confused, there are contradictions. So here are the facts that I know. What you see above is the cover to a book that was/is/not written by Romero. This tome would('ve) covered the start of the crisis. And for the first time ever, delve into the real reason how the plague started - more than a substantial hint(s). Plus rules, what the ghouls can and can not do; like - run.

It was reported in the Fall of 2009 that Headline, a United Kingdom publisher had paid Romero, a rumored $300,000 advance to pen the book. At that time, the novel had a July 2010 release.

The (official) book description:
In San Diego, an autopsy seems routine until the corpse sits up and begins to walk - after all of his organs have been removed. Suddenly, the rules of this world have been rewritten and the dead now walk the earth. In Atlanta, a reporter covers the epidemic, showing viewers glimpses of increasing chaos from across the globe. Nowhere, it seems, is safe. The captain of an aircraft carrier hopes to save his crew from the disease by remaining at sea, but seemingly within moments zombies are wreaking havoc on the ship. THE LIVING DEAD follows different groups of people as they react to the crisis, working together or, for some, using their limited knowledge of zombies to try to survive. But is survival even possible? Or desirable?
The 'maybe' book seems to be structured like Max Brooks' novel "World War Z: An Oral History Of The Zombie War" (2006); vignettes in chronological order - told in first person. I highly recommend it, Brooks wrote what many (myself included) consider the definitive zombie apocalypse tale, that damn good. Oh yeah, the upcoming movie adaption, sucks! I won't go off into a rant about this, you can read the reasons why elsewhere. My heart sank when I learned - this should've been awesome. It's so far from it, another one for the fire, Vince. The book is written so screenplay friendly. There exist a better adaption, a full cast audio production. My only problem is that the five disc (CD) set is abridge. Okay, back to topic.

Here is a quote from Headline publisher, Vicki Mellor on the deal...
[Zombies are] one of the new buzz words in publishing. I think that the world is ready to re-embrace the zombie culture - after the massive amount of vampire novels that have been published, it's time for a change of antagonist. We are very aware that there is going to be an explosion of zombie novels being published over the next year, but we absolutely believe that we have the definitive novel from the one author whom every fan of the genre will want to read. There is no one more qualified to write a zombie novel. You just have to look on the internet and around the world at the enthusiasm with which Romero, and zombies, are greeted, to see that there's a huge amount of potential for these books.
That cover image appeared on Amazon, Spring of 2010. The page number was listed, 320 pages. Info was given about the audio book edition, unabridged for $29.98. During this time, the online retailer claimed the hardback would have a retail price of $25.99 with a release date of July 1st that year.


The book didn't come out. The DVD release of his sequel to "Diary Of The Dead" (2007), "George A. Romero's Survival Of The Dead: Two-Disc Ultimate Undead Edition" (streeted on August 24th, 2010) had a statement from Romero in the special features. Asked about the novel, he remarked 'don't believe eveything you've heard'. False news?

But here's the thing, there was an official announcement from Headline. And the detailed listing on Amazon. Was this a hoax??? A joke on fans?

During my researching I found this bit; Tower (the website is still alive, but Tower Records is dead) still has a entry for it, now called "The Living Dead: The Beginning" with an ISBN number of 0446561835. Different date though, July 24th, 2010.

There's more...

As of last month, has a listing for July 2012, same ISBN. The book is now being published as they claim by Grand Central Pub. (same number of pages). Amazon currently has a July 1st, 2012 release for the audio book from Hachette Audio. What hell?

The cover pix has been removed on Amazon. It has a price of $74.99 for a book with "Unknown Binding", temporarily out of stock. Confused?

This is what I think happened - pure speculation.

He did write most or perhaps completed the book (first draft). The deal with Headline turned sour. There may have been a silent legal battle over the rights. This was when Romero made his comment on the novel. He won or some agreement was reached. A new publisher was awarded the deal, Grand Central Pub. A revised date was given, July of 2012.

Only time can only tell IF or WHEN this book sees the light of day. But I suppose the important question - is it any good?

- - -

There you go folks. Over month of my life in these words, I hope you enjoyed it. Will there be another installment? Maybe. Maybe. There are those two NOTLD remakes which have yet to be released. I could do an update when they hit home video. Plus that sequel to the 3D reboot and that Riffel re-dub (should I find it).

Do I have an idea for another retrospective? Yes I do. But right now I don't have that DVD, it's kinda pricey (more than I'm willing to pay). I'm keeping my eyes on Ebay. What's the subject? It will be on a short lived television series that has a following. The home video release was screwed up. Plus a mention to the TV movie that may have spawned/inspired it. After that? I don't have any other topics; something could pop in my head.

Sure, why not? I've leave you with these two bits of trivia...

October 27th, 1968

What's that? That's the date the world ended; the historic day - the fall of mankind.

Barbara: They ought to make the day the time changes the first day of summer.
Johnny: What?
Barbara: Well it's eight o' clock and it's still light.
Johnny: A lot of good the extra daylight does us, you know we've still got a three hour drive back, we're not going to be home until after midnight.

Taking the film's release 1968 as the event year; Fall Daylight Savings (gaining one hour) fell on the last Sunday of that October, the twenty-seventh.

And lastly, the November 2008 issue of Empire magazine (British), published the results of a world-wide poll of the "500 Greatest Movies Of All Time"; "Night Of The Living Dead" (1968) ranked 397th.
Nighttime's on fire
We are the heat
The flame is desire, burns in the street
Know it's gonna strike, again and again
Hold on to the Night, hold on till the end...
- Johnny Steele

Last edited by JohnIan; 07-12-2014 at 09:44 PM..
Reply With Quote