I need some Break Up/Relationship advice
Sorry my post is so long, but I need your help:
My ex and I meet at a job we worked at together ten months ago. Our first date was amazing—we both agreed that neither of us had a first date like that in our lives. We talked non-stop, laughed a lot, and had so many memories, even just from one date. We then proceeded to see each other during the summer and date without labels for a month. Then, we made ourselves official. We took things slow, got to know each other as people before ever making any kind of sexual commitment. Then, in August, just as college was about to start for both of us, I held her face in my hands and told her I loved her. It was the first time in my 22 year old life I had told someone that whom was not family. We both cried and kissed and she told me that she loved me too. A few weeks after, we made love for the first time and I’m not ashamed to say that I lost my virginity that night. I had had opportunities with other girls, but I had saved myself as I had a hard time trusting people, but with that action, I officially gave everything to her.
During the school semesters, it was a little tough. We barely saw each other (once a week, usually) as we went to different colleges an hour apart. However, our time spent together was always unbelievable. I freaked out a few times during the college semesters, afraid she was going to leave me due to growing tired of my absence, but we talked it out and she told me “You’re stuck with me so get used to it. I love you.”
Then, it all came down to this summer. We finally had time together. She was finally able to meet my parents (something that she wasn’t able to do previously due to complicated circumstances) and it went great. She told me that she knew I was the guy for her and that she couldn’t be without me. She also said that this summer was our chance to make up for all the times we couldn’t see each other. For the first few weeks of the summer, we spent every day together, but over the past week in a half, I’ve had to plan and ask her out on all our dates.
At the same time, things got a little strange. We would go on dates, have a great time and then I would leave her apartment or I would take her home as she wanted to go home. Afterwards, I found out, that she would go hang out with her friends until early in the morning. I was confused by this as she always told me that she wanted me to get to know her friends a little better and wanted us to do everything together and yet… here she didn’t even invite me or tell me about it when I was available.
I thought something was wrong, so I tried to talk to her about it Sunday morning, and then she just broke up with me. Saying that she loved me and was still in love with me, but she “needed time to focus on herself… wanted to be single… didn’t want to try and work things out… she's tired of trying” and “that she does better on her own.”
I talked to her last night, after (I’m afraid) I texted her and tried to call her a few too many times… potentially making myself look desperate, but I was truly devastated by the break up. She told me that she misses me a lot, but that she’s happy with her decision. She told me she felt like a weight was lifted from her shoulders when she broke up with me two days ago, but she still doesn’t know if she wants me in her life. She would like for us to hang out, and she still loves me, but has no interest in being tied down. I made an agreement with her that I would give her space as long as she would eventually tell me what she wanted.
I feel like cutting connections altogether is the best way to see if she comes back, but I highly doubt that she will, based on how she’s acting and what she’s said.
Does anyone have any input and any suggestions on how to handle this break up better and if there is any hope for us getting back together? I hate to sound so desperate, but we had an amazing relationship and I truly never saw this coming, especially since we had planned to be together all summer.
If any gentleman or ladies could tell me what she’s probably thinking and going through mentally, that might help as well.
Thanks for any and all responses.
Last edited by FireCaptain4; 05-29-2012 at 04:57 PM..