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Old 12-16-2012, 03:32 PM
Snow White & The Huntsman

It came, it made noise, it looked pretty, and now it’s gone. Plagued with problems that add up to serious flaws over its 2 hour runtime, it’s a darker reimagining of a classic fairytale with all the dull dialogue and jerky plotting of a second-rate historical epic, though buttressed by some captivating fantasy visuals and solid Hollywood action sequences. And of course, by Ian McShane and a slew of great British actors playing the badass dwarves. Loved those guys. So I guess it’s a wash on some level, but it was enough fun for me not to have regretted watching it this once. Great production value. I did have a good laugh at the absurd notion of Kristen Stewart even being thought as “fairer” than Charlize Theron, even with all the CG and makeup effects they used to uglify her. Nice try, but it couldn’t be done. I figured they meant fairer of personality, in which case yes, the evil queen was probably gonna lose. A basically insensate performance from Theron (admittedly with some one-dimensional material) didn’t bolster her cause any, save for an awkwardly placed flashback that aimed to humanize her without really revealing anything about why she does the evil shit she does at the beginning of the movie to that particular kingdom. I think it was revenge, but it was unclear who her “enemy” really was… Whatever. I think- Is it- Yes, I'm sure now - I don't care anymore.

-> 5/10