#1  
Old 06-30-2009, 07:25 PM
The Poetry Thread

I know that some of you write poetry. Post your stuff here. NOTE: I would like this thread to be used for discussing each other's poetry. Don't just post something and run off. Give each other feedback.

Here is something I just wrote.

WERE IT NOT

Were it not for the walls
There would be nothing to climb
Over head, under hand
This truth is self-evident
Were it not for contempt
There would be nothing to reflect

If God sees everything,
Then why are we still here?

The mortar is fresh
And were it not for the ground
There would be nothing to catch

Eyewitness son
Were it not for grace
There would be nothing to fall from

If God sees everything,
Then why are we still here?

The holy ghost is in lockstep
With the grout and the swill
Were it not for faith
There would be nothing to kill
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  #2  
Old 06-30-2009, 07:51 PM
Your opening verse is perfect and I almost feel like everything thereafter is overcomplicated and unnecessarily obscure. I like the simplicity and honesty in your initial words.

My judgement is only based on a personal preference. You clearly have real ability.

I am currently writing a children's story (it rhymes) but it's a little too silly and unfinished to post here.
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  #3  
Old 07-01-2009, 06:42 PM
Too silly for JoBlo.com?

Thanks for the feedback. I might post more if other schmoes participate.

C'mon, guys...don't be shy!
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  #4  
Old 07-01-2009, 06:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by countchocula View Post
Too silly for JoBlo.com?

Thanks for the feedback. I might post more if other schmoes participate.

C'mon, guys...don't be shy!
I haven't written any poems in about a year and a half. I would post one of those if I had any idea where they were... So there are my reasons for not participating.
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  #5  
Old 07-01-2009, 06:56 PM
Silly poem removed. Trying to come up with something a little more appropriate.

Last edited by BadCoverVersion; 07-02-2009 at 04:41 AM..
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  #6  
Old 07-01-2009, 07:38 PM
I love and have the highest appreciation for poetry. I attend Poetry Nights on campus every once in awhile and I've gone to a Poetry Slam or two. However, I don't have a poetic bone in my body and really stinks.

BadCoverVersion: It may be because I haven't had much time to read in awhile since I've been crunching calculus and trigonometry for the past week or so, but I genuinely think that's some of the best material I've read in quite some time. You've certainly got a way with words and plenty of imagination.
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  #7  
Old 07-01-2009, 07:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FireCaptain4 View Post
IBadCoverVersion: It may be because I haven't had much time to read in awhile since I've been crunching calculus and trigonometry for the past week or so, but I genuinely think that's some of the best material I've read in quite some time. You've certainly got a way with words and plenty of imagination.
Amen.

It's brilliant.
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