#1  
Old 03-30-2008, 07:33 PM
Who Is America's Worst Comedian?

(From Gawker)
Quote:
Sure, the first person you think of is Dane Cook. With his blend of vagina jokes, date-rapey fans, and factory-distressed jeans, guy's a total douche cocktail. But what about Carlos Mencia? How can a man tell a retard joke that doesn't make me laugh? To celebrate March Madness, radio jocks "Toucher & Rich" on Boston's WBCN are whittling down a list of 16 lames to see who will emerge as "The Unfunniest Comic."

Here are the current standings. Is Robin Williams really less entertaining than Jeff Foxworthy? And what the hell's Paula Poundstone doing in there? Is she still even working? (Oh, here's a bigger version.) I've never listened to "Toucher and Rich," but I thought this chart was awesome. So screw those dudes—what do you think?

In related news, Cook's old comedy pals seem to be turning on him. I heard about this contest on "Opie and Anthony" yesterday, where actually funny comedian Mike Birbiglia plugged an upcoming gig by saying, "I am the Dane Cook of comedy." Ha!
Who do you guys think? A couple of my votes:

Carlos Mencia AKA Ned Arnel Mencía


Larry the Cable Guy


Dane Cook (Only exception was his role in Waiting)
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  #2  
Old 03-30-2008, 08:06 PM
Those guys are definitely pretty terrible.

My votes:

Kathy Griffin


Janeane Garofalo


Bill Maher:
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  #3  
Old 03-30-2008, 08:12 PM
Carlos Mencia
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  #4  
Old 03-30-2008, 08:32 PM
Definately Dane Cook...the man is annoying as hell.
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  #5  
Old 03-30-2008, 08:34 PM
Definitely Ned Holness (Mencia is not his name Lindsey, sorry to correct you.)
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  #6  
Old 03-30-2008, 08:39 PM


Maybe not the worst ever but I kinda hate Frank Caliendo. Sure, he does some good impressions- he does a good Bush, Robert Deniro, an okay impression of the cast of Seinfeld, but what really pisses me off about the guy is his John Madden impression. Talk about milking something for all it's worth to the point of nauseum. And it's John Madden, for God's sake! It's not as if that's the most relevant person to goof on. His stint on Mad TV really annoyed me because they did the John Madden thing all the time. Now I think he has some permanent gig impersonating him on a sports show. I really just find that extremely pathetic. He's not so much a comedian or impressionist as he is a glorfied impersonator of a semi-well-known sports commentator.
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  #7  
Old 03-30-2008, 08:41 PM
Bill Maher has no business being mentioned in a worst comedians thread. Ned Holness is of course the worst though.
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  #8  
Old 03-30-2008, 08:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jackson13 View Post
Definitely Ned Holness (Mencia is not his name Lindsey, sorry to correct you.)
Hmmm... Well Nathan, I looked him up and according to Wiki:

Quote:
Ned Arnel Mencía was born the seventeenth of eighteen children. At the time of his birth, his Mexican mother, Magdelena Mencía, was engaged in a domestic dispute with his Honduran father, Roberto Holness, and declined to give her son his biological father's last name.[1] The name appearing on his birth certificate is "Ned Arnel Mencía", although Mencia has said that out of respect for his biological father he went by the Holness name anyway, and was known as "Ned Holness" until he was eighteen years old.
He's a bastard none the less.
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  #9  
Old 03-30-2008, 08:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by brodeurnumber1 View Post
Bill Maher has no business being mentioned in a worst comedians thread. Ned Holness is of course the worst though.
He does if I don't like him. There are better choices and maybe I am being lazy but some of the top ones were mentioned immediately. I really hate that look he gives the crowd after delivering a punch line. It's like he has to inform the audience that a joke had just been told.
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  #10  
Old 03-30-2008, 08:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey View Post
Hmmm... Well Nathan, I looked him up and according to Wiki:



He's a bastard none the less.

That's wiki, Linds.


From IMdB

[QUOTE]Carlos Mencia was born on October 22nd 1967 in San Pedro Sula, Honduras. His mother, Magdelena Mencia is from Mexico and his father, Roberto Holness.[QUOTE] He was givin to his Uncle who was Mencia. So he was BORN Holness
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  #11  
Old 03-30-2008, 08:49 PM
mencia, cable douche, and cook.
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  #12  
Old 03-30-2008, 08:51 PM

Quote:
That's wiki, Linds.


From IMdB

Carlos Mencia was born on October 22nd 1967 in San Pedro Sula, Honduras. His mother, Magdelena Mencia is from Mexico and his father, Roberto Holness. He was givin to his Uncle who was Mencia. So he was BORN Holness

Yeah, and thats IMDB.

Haha, I love Wiki! But yeah, technically he was born Holness.

Last edited by Lindsey; 03-30-2008 at 08:56 PM..
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  #13  
Old 03-30-2008, 09:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Derek237 View Post


Maybe not the worst ever but I kinda hate Frank Caliendo.
THANK YOU.

He and Larry the Cable Guy are my least favorite people in the world.
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  #14  
Old 03-30-2008, 09:08 PM
TRACY FUCKING MORGAN!
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  #15  
Old 03-30-2008, 09:12 PM
I actually really like Dane Cook.

I don't think any of these comedians are funny.





I aslo don't really Dislike like Carlos Mencia that much after seeing Joe Rogan Blast him for stealing jokes, but occasionally when seeing his stand up I laugh but not that much.
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  #16  
Old 03-30-2008, 09:39 PM


Is she not american or why hasn't anyone mentioned her?
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  #17  
Old 03-30-2008, 09:47 PM
I fucking hate Mencia.

I like Dane Cook.
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  #18  
Old 03-30-2008, 09:47 PM
Robin Williams should not be shat on as the "Scottish inventing golf" bits is one of the greatest things I have ever watched.
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  #19  
Old 03-30-2008, 10:11 PM

This many replies and nobody has mentioned Pauley Shore or Andy Dick?
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  #20  
Old 03-30-2008, 11:02 PM
I believe that I have intentionally avoided watching any of their acts.
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  #21  
Old 03-31-2008, 12:52 AM
you all are listing these mainstream comedians.. and for the most part, i personally find alot of them funny.. why has no one fucking said the worst "KNOWN" stand up comedian:

ANT

when he was the judge on Next Comedy Star or whatever that shit was called, i had to turn the shit off, if ANT is judging whats funny, then we have lost everything in terms of comedy!

He hosts Celebrity Fit Club, which i love, and every time he talks i want to punch him in the face!

i also find George Lopez to suck a crucial amount of nut sac... all he does is "hey, mexicans go like this "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY HOLMES" and white ppl, man i dont get you all... but who do you get to cut your grass... "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY HOLMES"

fucking unfunny bastard! Although it is hilarious that he beat the shit out of mencia for stealing his jokes, and i thought his show was decent, and he seems like a nice dude, just his stand up is fucking terrible!

Katt Williams is also terrible.. which is a shame, cuz i like him in the movies, and he was on Leno and he was funny as shit (as a guest) but his specials are just terrible!
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  #22  
Old 03-31-2008, 01:52 AM
I was waiting for someone to mention Sarah Silverman. I don't get what people find so funny about her.
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  #23  
Old 03-31-2008, 02:05 AM
The Dane Cook hate has gotten really fucking annoyiong.
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  #24  
Old 03-31-2008, 02:38 AM
Dane Cook
Carlos Mencia
Two of the Blue Collar Comedy fellas (Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy) Engvall and White I don't consider the worst, but they definitely aren't my favorites
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  #25  
Old 03-31-2008, 06:10 AM
I am amazed at how many comedians think rude/gross/mean = funny.
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  #26  
Old 03-31-2008, 06:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by X-Nightcrawler View Post


Is she not american or why hasn't anyone mentioned her?
Ditto. Talk about cheap humour. If you can even call it that. She cusses and farts. Very low level of "comedy."
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  #27  
Old 03-31-2008, 06:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Lockard View Post
I was waiting for someone to mention Sarah Silverman. I don't get what people find so funny about her.
That's probably because you don't have the maturity level of a pre-schooler.
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  #28  
Old 03-31-2008, 08:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyNet View Post
you all are listing these mainstream comedians.. and for the most part, i personally find alot of them funny.. why has no one fucking said the worst "KNOWN" stand up comedian:

ANT

when he was the judge on Next Comedy Star or whatever that shit was called, i had to turn the shit off, if ANT is judging whats funny, then we have lost everything in terms of comedy!

He hosts Celebrity Fit Club, which i love, and every time he talks i want to punch him in the face!

I can't stand him.
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  #29  
Old 03-31-2008, 09:29 AM
1. Carlos Mencia
2. Bill Maher
3. Kathy Griffin
4. Demitri Martin
5. Blue Collar Comedy Quartet
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  #30  
Old 03-31-2008, 10:57 AM
I'm shocked at the hate for Dane Cook and Bill Maher. I actually quite like these guys.

Carlos Mencia, Sarah Silverman, and the entire Blue Collar Comedy team however, need to get in a bus and drive off a cliff.
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  #31  
Old 03-31-2008, 11:16 AM
Dane Cook can eat a "led salad"
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  #32  
Old 03-31-2008, 11:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juliet Bravo View Post
I am amazed at how many comedians think rude/gross/mean = funny.
The reason I like Cook so much, and especially loved Harmful if Swallowed so much when I first heard it in high school, is I can relate to the humor. I'm 21 and everything Cook talks about I know about it.

The bit on Vicious Circle about how when you masturbate in front of a girl you're trying to impress, you're flexing, etc. but when you masturbate by yourself it's like "beat the fucking clock."

Or the bit about crying, or the girlfriend fight, etc. It's just such relatable humor to me it's outstanding.
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  #33  
Old 03-31-2008, 03:59 PM
Sarah Silverman
Dane Cook
Carlos Mencia
Jimmy Kimmel
Martin Lawrence
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  #34  
Old 03-31-2008, 04:08 PM
The two big joke theifs i can't stand Ned Holness and Dane Cook
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  #35  
Old 03-31-2008, 05:47 PM
The fact that Christopher Titus is on that list automatically makes that bracket worthless. Titus is awesome.

Comedians I don't enjoy:
Mitch Fatal
Jim Gaffigan (I'm sure a lot of people here like him. I'm not one of them.)
Ralphie May
David Cross (You're a liberal and your sarcastic. We get it.)
Nick Swardson (I like him in movies, but his stand-up is awful.)
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  #36  
Old 03-31-2008, 07:08 PM
Carlos Mencia (saying mildly offensive stereotypes gets od after a while)
Dane Cooke (an annoying idiot in need of ritalin)
Larry the Cable Guy (an idiot redneck made all the worse by the other idiot rednecks who for some reason think he's funny)
Jeff Foxworhty (you might be a redneck if you tell the same stupid jokes for 20 years and expect it not to get old)
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  #37  
Old 03-31-2008, 07:15 PM
Mencia
Dane Cook
George Lopez
Jeff Dunham
Bill Maher
Kathy Griffin
Katt Williams

all terrible, but I would argue that the worst of all is Lisa Lampanelli. Awful.

and I can't believe someone mentioned Demitri Martin. I think he's great. I also find Sarah Silverman pretty funny sometimes.
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  #38  
Old 03-31-2008, 07:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raimo69 View Post
The two big joke theifs i can't stand Ned Holness and Dane Cook
Oh lord.
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  #39  
Old 03-31-2008, 07:25 PM
Frank Caliendo and Carlos Mencia
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  #40  
Old 03-31-2008, 08:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Worthystevens View Post
The Dane Cook hate has gotten really fucking annoyiong.
What makes him good in your book?
To me, he sounds like a retarded preacher always pointing to the screen in his routines. His jokes aren't funny and he's a terrible actor...
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