Old 04-08-2009, 05:34 PM
Justin Lin's Fast And Furious (2009)

Fast And Furious

All testosterone and still bad in bed


Nick Schwab

In the car racing movie Fast and Furious many of the characters basically follow a code: "Ride until death do they part." That latter quote was a paraphrase of a statement made to Vin Diesel's character (Dominic Toretto) early in the film by his girlfriend (played by Michelle Rodriguez). However, one will probably not remember the dialogue in the film all that much and although anyone will know that it is not necessarily the point in this brainless action disaster many would hope that there "is" at least still a point in this 107-minute flick. Instead, it rather seems like a poor attempt to rejuvenate Diesel and Paul Walker's careers...as they have been left in the dust for roles "possibly" by people who can act better, naturally.

Instead if one were to take to heart this code of honor and were still in the pubescent frame of mind then this philosophy would ring very true. Fast and Furious is tailored for the clichéd teenager in all of us but isolates itself from appealing to anyone else that wants more to even entertainment than a couple of cars that go Vroom! Vroom!...while although there are some pretty faces in the cast, anyone that has access to an adult magazine shouldn't care about that either. So, what does this movie have other than both cars and pretty people.... not much, if anything. Michael Bay may be a bad director, often relying on bells-and-whistles, but Fast and Furious' Justin Lin doesn't even know how to have a good time other than in the most banal way.

As starting with a fuel truck heist, the story moves into tired premise of Toretto seeking revenge on those who murdered a loved one, and Walker's officer Brian O'Connor both hot on his trail and also after the same bad group of fast-car loving drug lords. While no one will expect much from this film in terms of, well, anything of real worth, even the car scenes are rather shakily done and lack tension or surprise.

Fast and Furious has to pad the run time somehow, and the filling between the Vroom! Vroom! is mainly this faulty undercurrent of masculine codes and honor: typical for both the type of movie and its desired audience, but instead the film seems highly lopsided in its morals: evident in the closing act in a scene in which one evil villain mastermind is spared, yet another (albeit murdering the wrong person) villain is given a death sentence. It's not that I just do not agree with it, it's more that the film seems to isolate the audience, down to people who want nothing more than f/x and pretty people, while the film is the antithesis of smart and original.

It may even be almost ironic that scenes of lesbianism are done so casually that when the rest of the film feels like it wouldn't glorify that if it weren't also perceived as "cool" by many teenage boys--- while no one should believe homoeroticism is morally wrong, Fast and Furious seems to boast a tag that if your male and not in the same belief system as this film is, then you really don't matter. False feelings of grandeur, indeed.

When the credits role, you might want to take some aspirin: Fast and Furious is both about as mind numbing as a trip to the local DMV and the preceding yelling match between you and your 16 year old after they failed a driving test, but not before crash and burning your only car in the drive around part of the exam. Then again, that drama and the lesson would be much more fulfilling than Fast and Furious, as this film would rather give you a whole lot of gas (indigestion).

0 / 10 (In 0.5 Increments

Last edited by Horror; 04-15-2009 at 10:29 AM..
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