Old 07-05-2009, 09:40 PM
i will now share my most embarrassing story and upstage everyone. This is a completely true story in every aspect. Scout's Honor

It seems like every time i go to a house party, i have to take a shit. I dont know what it is, I just feel the need to drop a big one. For the most part I will usually hold it than shitting in a bathroom that people are using every two minutes. Hey, sometimes the need will go away after i get down a few beers.

So anyways, last New Year's Eve my friends took me a house party down in Atlanta(about an hour from my house), i was fine when i left, but as we started getting close, i had to take a shit of course. It would come and go though.

As soon as we get there, its a small house with no joke about 50 people in one living room, but there were people everywhere--out in front, out in the back, and you could barley walk through the kitchen. And of course the need to take a shit came back once again and the only bathroom i could spot was in the living room, where most the people were. Of course i dont want to take one there because there always seemed to be even a line for it, but i did debate it. I just dont want to be the guy that is The "Hey that guy just took a steamy shit!" guy.

Well anyways, after i started to get a bit tipsy and started to dance a bit, it went away, especially after some hot girl starts grinding on me. But it was the calm before the storm. This peace lasted only about an hour to an hour and a half. I enjoyed myself during that time when i remember just out of nowhere, the need came back--and with a vengeance.

Now this was not even nowhere near how i felt when i got there when i was debating if i could shit or not. No--i had to go and nothing would stop me now. In a last ditch effort i went around to the back of the house to some hallway that connects the other apartments/houses to look for a more secluded bathroom.

I found some guy and asked him if there was a bathroom in this hallway, and he lead me around corner to a bathroom. I bolted in, locked the door, and bee-lined straight to the toilet where i took the most refreshing shit in my life.

But now the situation plummets to shit. In my desperation to get to the bathroom, i was completely oblivious to the fact that there was no toilet paper!. And of course it was a nasty one so i needed to wipe. I looked around, now starting to freak out...until i found a damp rag lying in the corner(i know, i know).

So i finish up with a rag that God knows where its been, and about this time someone starts knocking on the door, and i can tell its some girls, they are yelling at me to hurry up. I yell that it will only be another minute. Great, now they smell my crap and thing i am a disgusting person! I dont know what to do with my shit-stained rag, so i open up a cabinet and toss it in the back.

Now I flush--but its not going down. Holy shit i clogged the toilet. There are no plungers around and it even starts spilling over the edge and you can see my nasty shit in all its glory floating in the toilet. I figured just get the fuck out of there and make a run for it now.

So i go the door, where the girls are still telling me to hurry the fuck up. I go to unlock it, and for some reason i cant get the door open. It seems permanently locked or stuck or something. And i fiddle with the thing like an idiot all the while the toilet is gushing shit and i hear the girls laughing at me.

I finally get angry and yank the damn door and see about three very attractive girls. I instantly blush and get the fuck out of that hallway before they can even walk in. I know they were probably disgusted at what they saw when they got in there, but by some fucking miracle i did not see them the rest of the party and i enjoyed myself the rest of the night.

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Old 07-05-2009, 10:42 PM
I just pretended to be a chick and had some poor bastard make a facebook to impress me.
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