Old 08-11-2010, 09:28 AM

MINOR SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2002 might've slipped past some of you, and if it did, then so too did Dog Soldiers. And in 2005, you might've spent your hard-earned cash on a little Scorsese ditty called The Departed and skipped over The Descent. And in any case, we pretty much all told Doomsday to go fuck itself in 2008. And so, I plead my case today; Stay the fuck out of Istanbul! And go watch Centurion.

Here's the deal; Rome is finally fed up with the stalled invasion of Northern England and sends in a shitload of bad motherfuckers to deal out death to the Picts, native jaggoffs who heretofore have put a hurtin' on the Romans with guerrilla tactics and whatnot. Wouldn't you know it, the Romans get themselves set-up and wind up decimated from a legion to six men. Who are all now deep in enemy territory. A lot of hoofin' it ensues.

Now, this movie is just fucking beautiful. I mean that. Marshall has long, gorgeous, lingering shots of landscapes in Northern England that border on eco-porn. I'd say he's cribbing Koyannisquatsi or The Thin Red line, but there's something about the collision of men with swords and these beautiful landscapes that emphasizes the sheer brutality of the proceedings. And when I say brutality, I fucking mean it.

For those privileged enough to have seen Braveheart back then it was in theaters, the way that flick set a new standard for sword-on-sword battle, Centurion ups the ante tenfold. I don't know if the version I was lucky enough to catch will get to theaters untouched by the MPAA, but if it does, don't take your girlfriend. Not unless you want to hear about it for a fucking month. Which isn't to say that she wouldn't dig on Michael Fassbender or Dominic West shirtless, she just won't watch what goes on while these guy are being interrogated. Fuck a waterboarding and fuck a Jack Bauer. Picts, apparently, liked fucking with people.

All joking aside, this is one of what I hope will be a three movies to come out this year that actually have balls. Predators delivered, but it really didn't change the game like I had hoped it would. The Expendables is still a big question mark. Centurion, however, wants to beat the Glee cast to death.

Now, let's hope Valhalla Rising kicks ass as well. Stay sane, children.....
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Old 08-11-2010, 12:52 PM

Last edited by Fenrir; 08-11-2010 at 01:00 PM..
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Old 08-11-2010, 07:24 PM
Being a huge fan of Neil Marshall's work, I naturally had to go and see Centurion. In one word I can describe my feelings towards this film-disappointed. I love Dog Soldiers, Descent, and yes, even Doomsday. But Marshall's latest project left me feeling empty and unsatisfied. The problem with me is in the third act primarily. I adore ancient historical epics like Gladiator, Troy, Kingdom of Heaven, King Arthur, Braveheart etc etc. But Centurion, even though it started out strong, quickly lost my interest. Yes, its graphic. Yes, there's a fair bit of swordplay. And the story is even quite good I thought. But for those who have already sen the the film, you will know what I mean.

I have also seen Valhalla Rising. Another very disappointing film. Mads Mikkelson is an awesome onscreen presence. But even he could not save this dreary and drab affair. The director of bronson (which is good) flopped on Valhalla as far as I'm concerned.
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Old 08-17-2010, 01:03 PM
Watching it on Xbox Live to test how good films look and stream on there for current releases. So far it looks and sounds great and I'm loving the movie. Sure it's not Inception or Scott Pilgrim, but c'mon, it's got McNulty being a looker in Roman armor. Good fun and worth it more than most of this summer's dreck. What more could you want?
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