Posts of the week thread

[Shinigami]

If don't know if there have been threads like this before and I don't know how pointless it will end up being, but I thought it would be fun to have schmoes post their favorite quotes from other schmoes throughout the week. It's not worth making this into some kind of vote for your favorite contest, so post a fav but don't compete their merits. I also don't think this thread should hijack conversations over any particular post, since those can stay in the original thread. The only thing I ask is to make sure you get the schmoe's name in the quote and to link the thread where it originated.

To start, this post made me laugh-

Thread: http://www.joblo.com/forums/showthread.php?t=138708

Originally Posted by Dutchman

I'm really good at a lot of things that will make me no money and advance me in society in no way.

[echo_bravo]

This post by CosmicPuppet made me laugh (when rocknblues said he looked sorta like Justin Long). It was in the Gene Hackman thread

Originally Posted by CosmicPuppet

Yeah, Drew Barrymore told me right before I shot a load on her goofy smile. She never knew the difference.

[countchocula]

This one's pretty good.

[God of War]

Originally Posted by countchocula

This one's pretty good.

I nominate the above post. As you were <_< >_>

[Smiert Spionam]

To spammer:

Originally Posted by jackson13

I hope you're driving down the road later, going home from your shitty job as a computer spammer, and you come across some debris in the road and can't avoid it and it flies up through your windshield and impales you through the eyeball, but not enough to kill you. Just enough to blind you and make you scream out in agonizing pain, and then, due to your blindness, you crash your car into the ditch, causing it to flip over and eject you from the vehicle, where you fly back into the roadway into the path of an oncoming semi that you can't even fucking see because your eyeballs no longer exist, and the semi runs over your legs, flattening them like pancakes. And as you lie in the road and writhe around in blind screaming pain, unable to even crawl away, a dump truck full of manure blows a tire and starts flipping down the road, coming to a final THUD right on top of you, crushing you with a giant pile of shit, which is quite literal since you are already a giant piece of shit.

Fuck you, go die.

[The Postmaster General]

Originally Posted by Smiert Spionam

To spammer:

It's even better because it's jackson13, so you know he really means it. The dude has all but left a trail of library patron corpses in his wake.

[jackson13]

Originally Posted by BubbaStrangelove

It's even better because it's jackson13, so you know he really means it. The dude has all but left a trail of library patron corpses in his wake.

I've calmed down! I swear!

Thanks for the nomination, although I did kind of pimp myself out when I realized what my chances were. Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals. I'm living proof.

[Smiert Spionam]

Originally Posted by countchocula

Vince the ShamWow Guy is an idiot. Vince, if you're reading, this is what I would like to have happen. You find a good Christian girl one day and decide to settle down. You love her so much, that you don't even punch the prostitutes that you have affairs with. You and your blushing bride decide to have a baby. You want to be a father more than anything in the world. For months, you try to conceive, but nothing happens. You wonder why God hasn't blessed you with a child. Your faith begins to waver. But then it happens. Your wife is expecting. You've never been happier in your entire life. Your prayers have finally been answered.

Your wife has a miscarriage. You kill yourself. The end.

Goddamn hahahaha

[DaveyJoeG]

From the quickly banned thread about the Kennedy's miniseries:

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showthread.php?t=140375

Originally Posted by Erroneous

Jesus Christ is a Republican. So is God . God never came up with programs to help those who refuse to help themselves. God gives people the opportunity to help themselves.

[Smiert Spionam]

Originally Posted by DaveyJoeG

From the quickly banned thread about the Kennedy's miniseries:

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showthread.php?t=140375

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wooooow....holy shit. This can't be real. This can't be real....