Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 10-04-2011, 02:53 AM
Rank the Halloween Series

1. Halloween (1978): John Carpenter's original slasher masterpiece, that spawned a sea of imitators, has lost none of its impact 33 years later. We all know the story, young Michael Myers butchers his sister on Halloween night, is then locked away in a loony bin, only to escape 15 years later. He returns to his old stomping grounds, catches the eye of lovely, virginal, girl next door Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and begins to stalk and eventually tries to kill her and her friends on Halloween night; with Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance) hot on his trail. As before, 30 plus years on, this movie is still one of the best horror films ever made and became a blueprint for all the slasher films to copy, but never surpass, during the early 1980s. Donald Pleasance is fantastic in this one, as the obsessive Dr. Loomis, who will stop at nothing to catch Michael Myers. Jamie Lee Curtis makes a convincing heroine, and you really feel her fear and isolation. Nick Castle (The Shape) is the still the best actor to to portray Michael Myers. His body movements and gestures alone make him even more terrifying. Not an overly gory film; but it didn't need to be, none the less the kills come across very brutal in some places (the best one being the poor son of a bitch who is picked up and then stabbed through the chest against the kitchen door, only to be left hanging up there, while Michael childishly watches.) Scary, unrelenting, brooding, and atmospheric, Halloween still remain to this day a seminal horror flick.

2. Halloween 2 (1981): Picking up the same night as the events of the first film, Laurie Strode; the lone survivor of the horrific night is transferred to Haddonfield Memorial Hospital, but Michael is far from finished with her. He continues to pursue her, with the ever presistent Dr. Loomis hot on his heels. Underrated second entry, suffered from unfair comparisons to the original. The gore qoutient is increased this time around, with the kills becoming ever more graphic (one chick is dunked into a heated whirlpool, another is hooked up to a blood machine and sucked dry; you get the idea.) Not as suspenseful as the original, with a few glaring confusions throughout; like why is the hospital empty, with the exception of Laurie, it seems that no other patients exist. Also, Michael Myers is now given a back story, which dilutes his impact. We now learn that he is Laurie's brother, while it makes sense just a tad, I was always perplexed about John Carpenter's decision to go this route. I always found Michael far more terrifying when he was just the Shape. We as the audience, never understood the motive to his madness, he was just pure evil. The Boogeyman. Stuntman Dick Worlock steps into Michael shoes this time around, and does a very reasonable job, not on par with Nick Castle, but still Michael is frightening to watch. The end sequence is handled quite well, the kills are rather inventive, and the suspense is on target, just don't expect the magic of the original.

3. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988): Michael comes too after being in a coma for years, only to return to Haddonfield to find and kill his neice Jamie played by genre favorite Danielle Harris. Dr. Loomis also returns in hot pursuit. Rather entertaining fourth entry, picks up right away with some very nice kills and some very well-crafted suspense scenes. Michael is back alright, this time George Wilbur is the man behind the mask, and his Michael is one pissed off motherfucker. Michael kills more people in this movie with just his hands and he now seems to possess super-human strength. Danielle Harris is lovely as Jamie, and she really brings a sense of fear and innocence to her character. Good show young lady. Her foster sister Rachel (Ellie Cornell) also comes across as a take charge kind of girl. The two make quite a good team, especially against Mr. Myers. Donald Pleasance, always puts in a good performance, this time around his Loomis is more obsessive, which makes you think if he is just as crazy, if not more so, than Michael Myers is. Very well crafted suspense scenes, especially the ending, make up for a rather dull middle half and some rather lousy secondary characters.

4. Halloween H20 (1998): It's been twenty years since Laurie Strode survived that traumatizing Halloween night. She has been suffering from night terrors and has gone through years of extensive therapy to help her try to forget that awful night. She is now a school mistress at a very posh private school is Northern California, with a 17 year old son. But, her new life is about to be shaken, as her not-so-dead brother tracks her down for a little family reunion of his own. Filmed twenty years after the original movie, disregards the others sequels (with the exception of 2) entirely and continues the storyline between Laurie and Michael. Released at the height of the "Scream" craze, this over stylized entry suffers from a very weak plot, a dull storyline, some rather uninspired kills, and very weak supporting players (I'm looking at you LL Cool J). Finally, it seems like this movie is what would happen if Michael Myers accidentally wandered onto the set of Dawson's Creek or Gossip Girl. However, the final showdown between Laurie and Michael rocks the house, with Ms. Curtis flexing her muscles and finally confronting her brother once and for all. Not a bad movie, just painfully mediocre.

5. Halloween 5 (1989): Michael continues to stalk his neice Jamie, who now seems to have a psychic link with her uncle, with Dr. Loomis and a mysterious man in black hot on his heels. Tired and pointless fifth entry is too confusing for its own good. Jamie, who, with no explanation what so ever, now has a psychic link with Michael Myers. More unlikable characters (WTF, was up with that mute kid!!!!) are presented only to be killed off in various gory ways. With the character of Tina, coming across as one of the most annoying cunts ever to grace a horror film; man I couldn't wait for this broad to die, and she ends up surviving a lot longer than I wanter her too. One of the biggest mistakes this movie makes is killing off Rachel (Ellie Cornell) from the last film, twenty minutes into the movie. I totally liked her character in the fourth entry, and it was almost a slap in the face to the fans when she goes out the way she does this time around. Director should be ashamed of himself. Not too many positive accolades for this entry, some of the kills are nice (the pitch fork one being the highlight,) the ending sequence is rather suspenseful, but at the end of the day it adds up to a total lost cause. Not as horrible a movie as you have read about, but certainly one of the least entertaining entries in the franchise.

6. Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (1982): The only Halloween movie that doesn't feature Michael Myers, instead, it's about an evil Irish toy maker, that plans on wiping out all of the children around the world, with his special brand of masks, on Halloween night. Third entry takes a complete departure from the series into an almost "Twilight Zone" scenerio; which was John Carpenter's original idea with the series to begin with. The new approach angered most fans, who demanded the return of Michael Myers. For what's worth, I applaude it for trying something different, however, even as a stand alone film, it just plain reeks. Even genre favorite Tom Atkins can't save this turd of a movie. Also, I fucking hate that damn catchy Silver Shamrock song that is played at nausea throughout the movie.

7. Halloween: Resurrection (2002): Laurie Strode is now in a mental institution only to have Michael track her down and eventually finish the job. He then returns to Haddonfield and his old house, only to find a group of reality show morons are shooting a special Internet broadcast in his home. Happy homecoming indeed. Awful seventh entry, features some of the worst characters in the entire franchise. I wanted to kick my television screen in when Busta Rhymes started karate kicking Michael Myers. Seriously stop putting rap stars in horror films, I see that it appeals to a wider audience, but the novelty has worn thin. They bring nothing to their characters and only exist to grate the audiences' nerves. Michael looks bored in this film, the kills are unoriginal, and the story lack any kind of suspense or scares. One of the worst of the series.

8. Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1996): Michael Myers is once again after his neice Jamie and now her new born child. After disposing of Jamie, he then tries to track down her offspring in Haddonfield. Confusing, stupid, and utterly appalling sixth entry makes no sense at all. Apparently Michael is now controlled by a Druid cult, who want Jamie's child to start a new rebirth of evil. Ludicrous story telling, really makes you wonder what the writers for this pile of shit were smoking, when they decided to take the series in this pointless direction. Suppose "Producer's Cut" helps explain more about the story, but after watching this steaming pile of cespool shit, I find it very hard to believe that the director's cut could be any much better. Watch out for a very young Paul Rudd, making a complete ass of himself.

Halloween (2007) and Halloween 2 (2009): Rob Zombie's totally uneccessary remakes of John Carpenter's classic original. We are treated to a new backstory of Michael Myers, who wouldn't you guess it comes from a broken home. He snaps one Halloween night, kills his sister, step-dad, and the sister's boyfriend. He is then confined to a mental hospital, under the care of Dr. Loomis (played here by Malcolm McDowell) He escapes one night and tries to track down his estranged sister Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton). Two words to describe Mr. Zombie's take on the Halloween movies. WHITE TRASH!!!! Horrendous dialogue, totally unlikable characters, over-the-top killings, and a tired retread of the original's source material, make these movies some of the most embrassing and and pathetic attempts to revitalize a classic horror movie. Even filling the movies with genre favorites like Brad Douriff, Sid Haig, Dee Wallace Stone, and Caroline Williams can't save these clunkers. A complete waste of time!!!!!!

Last edited by poguesfan; 10-10-2011 at 02:21 AM..
Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump