#1  
Old 07-03-2011, 01:24 AM
Paul W.S Anderson is a c**t...

So heres the deal, ive grown up during what i'd call the golden age of shit in hollywood ( born in 81 ), sure theres been lots and lots and LOTS of truly fantastic movies in my time ( and lots and lots of shit before my time ) but the amount of utter shit from the 80's, 90's and the 2000 is mind blowing.

Lawnmover man 2 ? c'mon! All those cheesy as fuck Chuck Norris flicks, or Van Damme movies, the list goes on and on and shit is needed to make the good ones look even better and stand out more.

This sort of brings me to the core of my rant, Paul W.S Anderson... Who remembers seeing Mortal Kombat back in the day when it was released ? i caught it slightly later on video and i was in my teens back then, fully aware the film was shit but it was shit in the good way, a guilty pleasure flick if you will. At the time it was a bit different and it had some cool'ish shit going for it like few of the fights and the soundtrack had a few good tunes.

Ok so next comes Event Horizon, not everyones cup of tea but i fucking loved it, great film and a bit of a small classic nowadays. Then we get the first Resident Evil film, i always thought it was alright although it suffered greatly from the later re-invention of the zombies thanks to films like 28 Days Later and Dawn of the Dead remake.

Now as for the Resident Evil series, it turned into somewhat of a guilty pleasure franchise for me, didnt really care for the 2nd or 3rd film, they were alright in the sort of "switch off your brain and try to enjoy the ride"- kind of way. In comes the 4th film wich i grabbed yesterday for 5 as the missus is into them and i thought it could be some stupid fun while having a drink... fucking was i in for a surprise or what!?

I didnt know it was possible to make shit like this in the modern age, it took shit to whole new heights, kinda to be expected but what i didnt expect is the following...

At the start of the film we both noticed that Wentworth Miller ( the dude from Prison Break, a series we both enjoyed a lot ) was in the film and we thought "Cool!" cos we like him. Now in RE:4 theres a scene where the "heroes" are walking down to a maximum security cell and i said to my missus as a joke " i bet ol'Wentworth is in a cell somewhere"... the scene carries on and then the camera starts panning in towards this cell and i said to the missus "if hes in the fucking cell, i'm going for a god damn smoke!"... Camera carries on panning to reveal Michael Schofield... sorry! Chris Redfield... "Fuck! pause that shit and gimme a smoke!"...

Thing is, i gave up smoking almost 3 months ago, i went cold turkey, didnt use any replacement treatments or anything, its been a mental and a physical struggle, a proper fight if you will but i prevailed and ive been proud of my achievement... but this cunt! this fucking asshole Paul W.S Anderson was the cause of me having a cigarette, i got so fucked off by this shit that i had to have one. So to end this somewhat overly long rant, Fuck you Paul W.S Anderson, Fuck you very much! Go suck a fucking lemon and drown yourself in your bathtub you dumb fucking prick! If i fucking see you on the street ever, i'm gonna fucking tell you that i wish your kids get fucking cancer you stupid piece of british shit!
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  #2  
Old 07-03-2011, 06:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Repo Man View Post
Thing is, i gave up smoking almost 3 months ago, i went cold turkey, didnt use any replacement treatments or anything, its been a mental and a physical struggle, a proper fight if you will but i prevailed and ive been proud of my achievement... but this cunt! this fucking asshole Paul W.S Anderson was the cause of me having a cigarette, i got so fucked off by this shit that i had to have one. So to end this somewhat overly long rant, Fuck you Paul W.S Anderson, Fuck you very much! Go suck a fucking lemon and drown yourself in your bathtub you dumb fucking prick! If i fucking see you on the street ever, i'm gonna fucking tell you that i wish your kids get fucking cancer you stupid piece of british shit!
Seek help.
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  #3  
Old 07-03-2011, 07:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FailSafe View Post
Seek help.
If he watched the latest Resident Evil and the biggest complaint was typecasting the dude from Prison Break, then I've gotta agree.
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  #4  
Old 07-04-2011, 12:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repo Man View Post
"Fuck! pause that shit and gimme a smoke!"...

Thing is, i gave up smoking almost 3 months ago
I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you're probably not old enough to smoke because if you did, you wouldnt've typed this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Repo Man View Post
Go suck a fucking lemon and drown yourself in your bathtub you dumb fucking prick! If i fucking see you on the street ever, i'm gonna fucking tell you that i wish your kids get fucking cancer you stupid piece of british shit!
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  #5  
Old 07-04-2011, 03:23 PM
Reminds me of the folks that sued McDonalds for making them fat.
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  #6  
Old 07-06-2011, 09:37 PM
You can make many rants about the debatable quality of Paul WS Anderson movies but who really gives a shit about a guy from Prison Break being in a prison? Pierce Brosnan wears a tux in the James Bond films and a few others, are you gonna blow your load ranting about Pierce being typecasted as a sauve tuxedo'd man in multiple films?
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  #7  
Old 07-07-2011, 10:59 AM
Leave the dudes kids out of it, they did nothing.
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  #8  
Old 07-07-2011, 11:59 AM
Relax, it's just a movie.
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  #9  
Old 07-07-2011, 04:58 PM
Whoa.
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  #10  
Old 07-11-2011, 04:49 AM
I guess you REALLY shouldn't see the movie Street Kings. Hugh Laurie's first scene is in a hospital.
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  #11  
Old 07-11-2011, 10:44 PM
that was quite possibly the lamest rant ever.
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  #12  
Old 07-11-2011, 10:56 PM
You know what they say? Cunts are useful. So, perhaps he has got some value
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  #13  
Old 07-12-2011, 02:03 AM
Ironically, this rant made me want to shoot heroin.
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  #14  
Old 11-15-2011, 05:55 PM
As ridiculous and baseless as it is.... I loved this. It showed the passion and anger missing in most of today's recent rants in this section of the board.

While I agree that his kids should be left out of it, as they shouldn't be held responsible for their fathers' mistakes.... I think subconsciously this was a rant that was directed more at the OP himself (being upset he went back to smoking after having quit, over something so trivial), because if it wasn't PWS Anderson that set it off, it would've been something else altogether. It just so happened he picked that specific scene to use, as an excuse to go back to something he knows is probably not the healthiest thing to do in the world.

Regardless, bravo to Repo Man for his impassioned (if somewhat) flawed rant!
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  #15  
Old 11-15-2011, 06:28 PM
i agree, that rant was awesome, i imagined it with a uk accent because it says he is from the uk
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  #16  
Old 11-15-2011, 06:55 PM
Damn you Repo Man. Several years ago I promised myself that "if I ever see a rant on the Joblo forums about how a Paul WS Anderson film caused someone to start smoking again then I was going to become addicted to crack."

Thanks a lot.
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  #17  
Old 11-16-2011, 03:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silverload View Post
Damn you Repo Man. Several years ago I promised myself that "if I ever see a rant on the Joblo forums about how a Paul WS Anderson film caused someone to start smoking again then I was going to become addicted to crack."

Thanks a lot.
I already feel sorry for Repo Man's kids if you ever see him on the street
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  #18  
Old 11-24-2011, 07:04 AM
So i sort of randomly decided to take a peek in the rants section and i was truly surprised to see this thing still floating around, i would have thought it would have sunk into the digital depths of the internet by now. Props to Trail_blazer who pretty much nailed it and saw where the rant kinda came from.

I was most definately mad at a lot of things and the film in question served as a convenient trigger. I will admit that the comment about the kids was off and i'll apologise Mr. Anderson should i ever see him on the street ( i'll even offer him a pint in a nearby pub and then proceed to call him a cunt afterwards ) and i would also like to extend my apologies to anyone who may have felt offended by such a horrible thing to say. I will not edit the comment out though because its not something i do, may it remain there for future generations to serve as a reminder of how one man crossed a line and took it a bit too far. If im "man" enough to make such a comment, then i should also be man enough to admit that it was a mistake that bothered me aswell if im perfectly honest.

As for the rest of the rant... still standing by it, PWS Anderson is and probably will remain a cunt in my books.

PS. i'm still smoke free.
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  #19  
Old 11-24-2011, 02:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repo Man View Post
So i sort of randomly decided to take a peek in the rants section and i was truly surprised to see this thing still floating around, i would have thought it would have sunk into the digital depths of the internet by now. Props to Trail_blazer who pretty much nailed it and saw where the rant kinda came from.

I was most definately mad at a lot of things and the film in question served as a convenient trigger. I will admit that the comment about the kids was off and i'll apologise Mr. Anderson should i ever see him on the street ( i'll even offer him a pint in a nearby pub and then proceed to call him a cunt afterwards ) and i would also like to extend my apologies to anyone who may have felt offended by such a horrible thing to say. I will not edit the comment out though because its not something i do, may it remain there for future generations to serve as a reminder of how one man crossed a line and took it a bit too far. If im "man" enough to make such a comment, then i should also be man enough to admit that it was a mistake that bothered me aswell if im perfectly honest.

As for the rest of the rant... still standing by it, PWS Anderson is and probably will remain a cunt in my books.

PS. i'm still smoke free.
Awesome bro, glad to hear it. I have a lot of respect for you, having admitted that ya may've gone a bit over-board with the kids thing. NEVER should a kid be punished for their fathers' sins. I know that all too well.

Good to hear you're smoke free too now.
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  #20  
Old 11-27-2011, 10:34 AM
I love this Thread. The OP was hysterical for all the wrong reasons, and the general response was priceless.
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  #21  
Old 11-28-2011, 09:11 AM
What a shitty rant! Pretty sad that a man who makes movies makes you want to smoke. There are so many reasons why to hate on this man, but you went no where with this. A sad fact of life is the movie business is about making money and despite that fact that P WS A makes shitty movies, they are profitable. Even Three Musketeers turned a profit (damn foreigners). Those Pure Shit Resident Evil movies actually make a lot of money and profit. Hence, we will get more of them until they do not make a profit.
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  #22  
Old 04-04-2012, 04:32 PM
soooooo basically OP blames Paul WS Anderson because he started smoking again ? amirite ? wow haha best rant EVAR!
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  #23  
Old 04-09-2012, 07:15 PM
Every decade has had shit. Always been around, always will. I thought the '00s were better than the 60s, or at least early 60s.
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