"Swamp Thing" (1982)

[TATU]

1982's rather lighthearted rendition of "Swamp Thing" is a considerably better movie than I would have ever expected. That's not to say its great, but its an engaging campy adventure.

"Swamp Thing" is, as we all know, a dark and somewhat violent DC comics property. It, along with another regular monthly series "Constantine" (another movie based on a comic I'm planning on reviewing) essentially launced DC's Vertigo label. Their Vertigo label is DC's version of Marvel's Ultimates label- as a matter of fact, its essentially a precursor to it. DC's Vertigo label functions mainly as their "adult" label. Each monthly book, "Swamp Thing", "Constantine", et. al, functioned in their own universe separate from what we consider DC's mainstream universe. They're seperate entities entirely from DC's Superman and Batman, only crossing over when a huge universe altering event occurs. Oonly occasionally would mainstream DC characters would moonlight in Vertigo titles- Batman/Swamp Thing being a primary example. These crossovers were often looked upon as bad cash-ins, not indicative of "Swamp Thing's" usual quality.

"Swamp Thing" was DC's flagship Vertigo label branded title. Through years of lore Swampthing evolved from a simple monster to a real character to a, umm, plant/tree/biological entity purely masquerading as a poor attempt at mimicking humanity based on a biologist's trace DNA. (don't worry I don't get it either) It grabbed and maintained a rampant fanbase, one who enjoyed the cult aspects of the title. Within the realm of DC's mainstream comics, "Swamp Thing" represented the closest equation to the old-school EC comics- the line of popular pulpy/horror comics popular in the late '70's and early 80's that had come out in a long time. It's somewhat campy writing and more "adult" themed stories created a new cult hero in comics. Swamp Thing, as a character was ignoble, violent, and not afraid to kill anyone- and fans loved it.

Wes Craven's (director of "Nightmare On Elm Steet" and "Scream") "Swamp Thing" is the complete opposite of all that.

Starring Ray Wise and Adrienne Barbeau as Dr. Allec Holland and Alice Cable- research scientists working deep in the swamps of the United States on a mcGuffin of some sort. Apparently Holland has discovered a plant that reacts to the molecular structure of other biological organisms that can double the creation of any living thing. Holland wants to use this to help cure the world's food shortage by creating huge tomatoes and other vegetables.

Of course, as with any movie, when someone wants to use something for good someone else wants to use it for eeeee-vil . Enter Dr. Anton Arcane (what an evil name...) played by Louis Jordan, who tears into the part with gusto. He chews more scenery than a hungry man chews on pizza. He's the sort of villain who's practically foaming at the mouth and cackling at every turn. I'm shocked he has the restraint to not stain his pants every time he does something even remotely eeee-vil. This guys practically orgasming every time he double-parks his car for Christ's sake.....

Anyway, Holland and his sister (and fellow scientist Dr. Linda Holland- played by Nannette Brown) are taken hostage. Alec tries to play the hero but gets set on fire and covered in his own chemical before running off and splashing into the swamp. Now I'm not a scientist, but seeing green explosions bursting from the bottom of a swamp as its reacting to a dangerous and unstable chemical is usually a sign to leave.....

Arcane and his men, the sorry lot they are, burn the entire swamp-facility to the ground and leave, not before Alice is able to hide a notebook containing the data regarding the most recent strain of the chemical they'd been working on. As Arcane and his men search for it Alice is found and taken captive. Now we get to see Swamp Thing in his full, err, glory. Picture a seven foot tall Grinch ( the Jim Carrey version) covered in various bits of seaweed and swamp muck- an dyou've got an idea of what Swamp Thing looks like. Swampy makes short work of a few of Arcane's goons and rescues Alice. She beleives him to be a monster and a danger to her and runs off.

The rest of the movie is essentially one giant chase, Arcane is chasing Alice because she's the only one who could indict him for the incident. Swamp Thing is chasing Alice's pursuers in a vain attempt to persuade Alice that he's her friend. In the process Alice befreinds an autistic (or maybe he's just a hick) black kid who she decides to take along with her.

Through a series of convuluted circumstances Alice is soon captured and Swamp Thing is captured with Alice being used as bait, but not before a series of non-violent action scenes that involve SwampThing throwing people like he's The A-Team's B.A. Baracus, and, I shit you not, a speedboat chase through the swamp between Swampy and Arcane's men.

The movie ends with one of the most hysterically bad fights in cinematic history. Swamp Thing escapes Arcane's complex with Alice but they're caught before they can escape the swamp itself.

Swampy then proceeds to duke it out with a chemical enhanced Arcane, who's dressed as a werewolf of all fucking things. This transformation, of course completely flies in the face of whatever "logic" that was established earlier regarding the chemical's abilities. But lets just get on with it, okay?

This final fight is almost comically awful. Picture Godzilla and King-Kong fighting high over Tokoyo; now shrink that down to human scale. It looks like two drunks in Halloween costumes fighting it out behind the old watering hole. In the end, of course, Swampy prevails. He even manages to save Alice from a life-threatening wound, inflicted by Arcane with his magical "Convienent Plot Device Ressusitation Power".

Its now that Sweet Alice (God help you if you get that reference) and Swampy depart. Swampy wants to go find a cure. I don't know.... if you can bring mortally wounded people back to life with a single touch I think you'd do more good as a seaweed covered Grinch, doc. But then again I'm not a scientist. The ending plays like the old "Incredible Hulk" show with Swampy walking away as the end credits roll.

Rating: 7/10- If you can stand the camp and the dumb script there's something oddly endearing about the whole experience.

[Cronos]

i found this film to be a complete bore, the acting and script were both mostly pretty damn bad, the direction was poor (not surprising since it's a Wes Craven film). the plot was pretty slow and not very interesting....and aside from a couple of the death scenes it's very forgettable.....also the kinda famous nude scene wasn't even worth the bother

4/10

[MisterTwister]

Swamp Thing is decent enough but there's too much drama and not enough action, this is a comic book movie dammit. I prefer the chessy but extremely fun sequel. I would so welcome a remake.

6/10