Simple Survival 3rd Draft

[LordSimen]

I made rewrote my script twice and have been doing touching up for the past week or two and decided to post my new draft of the script for more feedback to see if the direction I'm going is working to fix the problems of the previous draft or not. My last thread was chocked full of argument and debate so I figured a clean thread would be easier to work with:

Simple Survival
3rd Draft
Written by Josh Langland

EXT. ROAD – DAY

A car drives by at a fast pace.

INT. ERIC BARKER CAR – DAY

ERIC BARKER is in the driver’s seat. He’s a teenager of about 19 years of age, wearing a camo-hat and pants with a “Pantera” Shirt.

MARCUS GOODMAN sits in the seat beside him, around the same age as ERIC, wearing an “Iron Maiden” shirt and black pants. Marcus is holding a map.

ERIC:
Fuck yeah! I’ve been waitin’ for this all fuckin’ week man! Just you, me and the god damn birds.

MARCUS:
Oh joy…

ERIC:
Come on, aren’t you just the least bit excited?

MARCUS:
Oh, excuse me, let met try that again: Woo! Yay! Huzzah! Does that about cover it?

ERIC:
And Mr. Sarcasm shoots and scores…

MARCUS:
I apologize if playing tweedle-dee tweedle-bang with the food chain’s lower additions doesn’t exactly strike me as the best way to spend an afternoon.

ERIC:
Alright, alright, fair enough, but between you and me, if there’s anybody on the fuckin’ planet that needs to shoot something, it’s you.

MARCUS:
And why, oh exalted one, would I need to do that?

ERIC:
Because when you get out there, it’s just you, the wilderness and the prey. You point the gun, aim, and in that short moment of time between when you point the gun and pull the trigger, you become one with your inner animal. You change into something primal, something beast-like. You become a man. You need this, my friend, because this is your fuckin’ right of passage right here.

MARCUS:
So this is my metaphorical Bar Mitzvah? What are you Moses?

ERIC:
Mock, mock, mockity-mock. You’ll understand when you get out there, no point trying to convince you now. You’ll know.

MARCUS:
What ever you say man, but the moment you hand me a Torah I’m shovin’ it straight up your ass.

ERIC (laughing):
That's it, fuck the birds, I’m shootin’ your ass when get out there.

MARCUS (laughing):
Fucking bring it!

EXT. CAMP – DAY

BANG! BANG! BANG! MARCUS hammers down on the stake- Effectively securing his tent onto the ground.

ERIC walks to the back of his car and pulls out a couple rifles and tosses one to MARCUS.

MARCUS:
Already?

ERIC:
Nothin’ like a little first-day shootin’ to get the blood pumpin’.

ERIC walks over to the passenger side of his car and opens the door, reaching into the glove compartment and pulling out his pistol and then putting it behind his belt in his back.
MARCUS:
Last I checked handguns aren’t exactly the easiest way to keep a safe distance between you and the big nasties.

ERIC:
It’s a mercy gun.

MARCUS:
A mercy gun?

ERIC:
Yeah, say, you got a deer that you just shot, right? Well what if he doesn’t die right away? Then you got a screaming and squirming mess on your hands. So what you do? You take out this gun, point it straight at their head and-BLAHMO! Lights out, and you have just given your prey a quick and painless death.

MARCUS:
How admirable of you.

ERIC smirks and walks off into the wilderness, MARCUS follows.

EXT. WILDERNESS – DAY

ERIC and MARCUS hold their rifles as they slowly trudge through the bushes and plants, searching for a prey.

MARCUS:
I don’t think there’s any-

ERIC:
Shh!

MARCUS:
Eric I-

ERIC (whispering):
Shut the fuck up.

ERIC points to the distance, there’s a rabbit eating some grass. Eric drops to one knee and aims his gun.

ERIC (whispering):
You see it? About 10 meters ahead of us?

MARCUS drops down beside ERIC.

MARCUS (whispering):
Yeah.

ERIC (whispering):
Take your gun, aim at it.

MARCUS (whispering):
Me!?

ERIC (whispering):
Yes.

MARCUS (whispering):
I don’t if I’m ready for this-

ERIC (whispering):
You’ll always be nervous the first time, you freakin’ pansy. Just take your gun and aim at it. Now!

MARCUS reluctantly aims, centering his rifle on the rabbit.
Marcus goes to pull the trigger.

ERIC (whispering):
No! Not yet… Wait a moment. Watch it… Watch how it moves, how it breaths. Become one with your target… Wait… Wait… There will be a moment where it…

MARCUS keeps his gun aimed at the rabbit, waiting, waiting and waiting… Untill the rabbit looks straight at him.

ERIC (whispering):
Will look at you… Then you will make eye contact with your prey, and in that moment, it will know that you are it’s better… Then, and only then, can you fire…

MARCUS (whispering):
Eric…

ERIC (whispering):
Is it looking at you?

MARCUS (whispering):
Yes…


ERIC (whispering:
Then fire.

MARCUS (whispering):
… I can’t, I-

ERIC (whispering):
Fire the GOD damn gun, Marcus!

MARCUS pulls the trigger and BAM, the rabbit is dead.

ERIC stands in excitement.

ERIC:
Good job, you fuckin’ did it!

MARCUS lowers his gun, his eyes wide. He looks at his gun in disbelief.

MARCUS:
Woah…

ERIC lifts up the dead rabbit’s carcass.

ERIC:
It’s a big one too. You got it right between the eyes. Good shot!

MARCUS reluctantly smiles.

ERIC:
It’ll make a great dinner.

MARCUS’ smile quickly turns to a scowl.

MARCUS:
What? You said nothing about eating it.

ERIC:
Ah, but it’s a sin to not eat what you kill… Didn’t ya know that?

INT. CAMP – SUNSET

ERIC drops the skinned rabbit meat on top of a metal pan he leaves roasting over the fire, swishing it around and allowing the meat to cook.

MARCUS, sitting down besides the fire, is disgusted and can hardly look at the meat.

ERIC sits down by the fire.

ERIC:
Now that’s what I call a good day. Brrr, just gives me shivers every time. It’s like a rush that goes straight from your gut straight into your brain.

MARCUS:
It makes you feel somethin’, that’s for sure…

ERIC:
Ah, you know you felt it… That little tingle in toes after you pull the trigger… The slight loss of breath after the initial blast…

Marcus begins to reluctantly smile and look down.

ERIC:
You did, didn’t you fucking shithead. You fuckin’ enjoyed it.

MARCUS:
Okay, I’ll admit it, that was fun.

ERIC (laughing):
I fucking knew it! Doesn’t it just make you feel more alive?

MARCUS:
For about ten seconds until I realized that I was the cause of Roger Rabbit’s last moments earth.

ERIC:
If you hadn’t have shot it, then some other creature, be it a bear, be it a wolf, or what the hell ever would have come along and eaten it. Either way it would have ended up in someone’s stomach. It just so happened that this time around it’s your belly that it got the R.I.P. treatment in.

MARCUS:
Why am I surprised by how helpful you’re not?


ERIC (laughing):
Look at this way. It’s simple survival. You kill, you eat, you live. That is the way of the wild. It’s been that way since life itself existed.

MARCUS:
Yes, but, I don’t have to kill to eat. If I wanted hamburger I could just walk down to the Burger King down my street and get one.

ERIC:
You’re ignoring the bigger picture here. You buy a burger from Burger King, do you know where that meat came from? A cow. A living, breathing, grass eating, manure shitting cow. And I’m sure you know darn well what had to happen to that cow in order for it on your burger. If anything, by shooting this rabbit here you’ve saved a cow from a much worst fate.

MARCUS:
So in one day I manage to become an animal killer and a menace to slaughterhouses everywhere… (Laughing) Thank you so much Eric for bringing me on this trip, I don’t know what I would have done with it.

ERIC:
Don’t mention it. I think it’s done.

MARCUS:
What?

ERIC:
The meat.

ERIC leans over and picks up the rabbit meat from the pan.

MARCUS:
Oh… Joy.

ERIC places the meat on a plate, takes out a large hunting knife and begins to cut the meat. MARCUS watches grimacing with each cut.

ERIC places a piece of meat on MARCUS’ plate, then one on his own.


ERIC:
Eat up!

MARCUS stares down at the plate. He then looks over to ERIC who is eating his meat with his bare hands.

MARCUS:
You know… My appetite really hates you right now.

ERIC:
Stop whining. Eat it. It’s your kill, you earned it.

MARCUS gulps and grabs the piece of meat with his hand and raises it to his mouth. He closes his eyes and touches the meat lightly with his tongue.

MARCUS finally gives in and places the meat in his mouth and tears off a piece with his teeth.

ERIC:
It’s good, isn’t it!

MARCUS gives a fake smile and raises the meat.

MARCUS:
Delicious…!

INT. CAMP – NIGHT

The fire still burns brightly.

ERIC and MARCUS have finished eating. Their plates are empty.

MARCUS stares at the plate, still ashamed of what he has done.

ERIC sits back and rubs his stomach. There is a moment of silence between them.

ERIC:
You know bothers me about people today?

MARCUS:
They bathe regularly?




ERIC:
People today don’t got no respect for life. They live in shells… Bubbles, you could say, that protect them from the outside world. They have never felt true fear, they never felt true hunger. They never felt the drive to survive. Everything’s just handed to them by society. That’s why I love it out here. Nothing is handed to you. You have to earn everything you get out here. Because of this place, I now appreciate life.

MARCUS:
So you appreciate life by coming out here and killing it?

ERIC:
Hunting ain’t about killing… It’s about earning your right to live.

MARCUS:
Well, I’d settle for my right to sleep. I’m going to bed.

ERIC:
It is getting late…

INT. MARCUS’ TENT – NIGHT

MARCUS enters his tent and slides into his sleeping bag. He then gets up on his knees and adjust his pillow and his sleeping bag to get more comfortable. He lays back down on his right side. He turns and lies on his left side. He then turns and lies on his back, laying his hands down and sighing.

EXT. CAMP – NIGHT

A cloud passes over the moon as the wind blows, causing the woods to creak with life.

EXT. FOREST – DAY

MARCUS is running through the forest in nothing but his under wear. He looks back behind him in fear and trips on a log, falling face first into a puddle of mudd. He looks up to see ERIC standing over him. ERIC points straight at him. MARCUS looks down to see that it’s no longer mud he’s laying in, it’s blood.

INT. MARCUS’ TENT – NIGHT

MARCUS wakes up in fright, breathing heavily. He then lays back down, relaxed and convinced it was just a dream when-

The sound of ERIC screaming at the top of his lungs erupts, causing MARCUS to shoot up from his bed.

MARCUS:
ERIC!?

MARCUS gets out of his tent and walks slowly over toward ERIC’s tent.

MARCUS:
You better not be playing with me Eric...

ERIC’s screams of agony grow louder and louder, the tent itself ruffling about due to whatever is occurring inside of it.

Suddenly the tent stops moving and the screaming stops. MARCUS finally reaches the tent.

MARCUS:
… Eric?

MARCUS is about to look in the tent when-

A BLACK, HAIRY FIGURE shoots out of the back of ERIC’s TENT, leaving a massive hole in the tent.

MARCUS shocked, looks in the tent to see that it’s covered in blood on the inside. He begins to back away slowly.

MARCUS:
Oh… my… god…

A sound that seems to be a mix between a BEAR GROWL and a WOLF HOWL erupts, scaring MARCUS and causing him to fall down and scoot himself back in the dirt towards the fire.

MARCUS:
Oh god, oh god…

The sound erupts against, causing MARCUS to jump up to his feet and grab his rifle by his tent. He shakes as he cocks the gun.

Something ruffles in the bushes behind MARCUS, causing MARCUS to swing around and point the gun towards the sound.

MARCUS:
Eric? Is that you…? Come on man, please tell me this is just one big joke…

MARCUS steps closer and closer to the bushes… A figure rushes through the bushes to his side. MARCUS swings around and begins to slowly move in the direction of where the figure was.

THE BIG, HAIRY creature steps out of the bushes behind MARCUS slowly. MARCUS turns around and fires, but the creature is gone.

The HOWL/GROWL erupts as a ruffle occurs in the bushes on the opposite side of the camp. MARCUS turns and fires toward the ruffle.

MARCUS:
FUCK YOU!

The sound of the creature grunting rings in MARCUS’ ears as it moves. It begins to circle the outskirts of the camp inside the bushes. MARCUS fires in a circle repeatedly at the creature to no avail.

MARCUS:
YOU KILLED MY FUCKING FRIEND YOU FUCKING FREAK!

The sound stops. MARCUS spins around franticly in every direction aiming, trying to find some glimps of the creature.

MARCUS:
Come on you piece of shit… Show yourself…

MARCUS then sees a pair of glowing eyes in the bushes… He turns and aims toward them, aiming right between the eyes.

MARCUS:
I got you now…
CLICK! The gun is empty. The creature’s begins to growl.

MARCUS lowers his gun slowly.

MARCUS:
Shit…

The creature quickly sprints out of the bushes towards MARCUS.

MARCUS drops the gun and runs to the car, swinging open the passenger door and diving into the vehicle.

THE CREATURE reveals itself, its head roaring through the door, revealing a giant WEREWOLF, clawing, scratching and biting at MARCUS as MARCUS backs up against the driver door, kicking towards the creature and screaming at the top of his lung.

MARCUS manages to open the driver side door and quickly crawl out of it, shutting it and running around the car, heading towards ERIC’S tent, where ERIC’S rifle sits.

THE WEREWOLF pulls itself out of the car and runs full speed after MARCUS.

MARCUS leaps, grabs the rifle, turns around, cocks it and fires at the creature, effectively hitting it, and causing the creature to leap over MARCUS, whimpering and scampering off into the woods.

MARCUS gets up and turns around, aiming the gun towards where the creature ran off to and fires 2 shots.

MARCUS:
COME BACK HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH!

MARCUS steps forward and then fires 3 more shots.

MARCUS:
WE’RE NOT FINISHED!

MARCUS then takes another step and winces in pain as he drops down to his knees, grabbing his side, where a claw mark begins to trickle with blood.

A ruffling in the bushes to his side causes him to point his rifle toward the bushes with on arm, as he falls back, supporting himself with his other arm.

MARCUS:
Come on you bastard… I’ll take you with me.

Suddenly a bloody, wounded, naked ERIC emerges from the bushes, holding his shoulder, which is bleeding profusely.

MARCUS:
… ERIC! ERIC YOU’RE ALRIGHT! I THOUGHT YOU FUCKIN’ DEAD.

ERIC:
We don’t have fuckin’ time… that thing… I think it tracked us while we were hunting.

MARCUS:
Tracked us?

ERIC:
Waited till we were asleep and then attacked… I tried to fight it off… but it was too fucking much… It took a bite into my shoulder and dragged me into the woods…

ERIC lifts up a bloody rock with his other hand and tosses it in front of Marcus.

ERIC:
I… Bashed it in the head with this… It let me go… I barely got away…

MARCUS:
We got to get out of here.

ERIC:
My keys… They were in my pocket, they’re somewhere out in over there.

MARCUS:
We need to get them.

ERIC walks over to his tent and pulls out some bloody jeans, and puts them on, wincing from the pain in his shoulder.


ERIC:
It shouldn’t be too far.

MARCUS:
I’m just so glad to see you’re okay ma-…

MARCUS notices that the wound on ERIC’s shoulder appears to look more like a gunshot than a dog bite.

MARCUS:
… What the fuck is this…

ERIC:
What the fuck is what?

MARCUS:
Is this some sort of game? Some sort of joke?

ERIC walks towards MARCUS.

ERIC:
I don’t know what you’r-

MARCUS raises his gun and points it toward ERIC.

ERIC:
What the fuck are you doing?

MARCUS:
I shot that… Thing… And you come out of the woods naked with what looks like a big fucking bullet wound on your shoulder…

ERIC looks toward his shoulder then towards MARCUS. Eric then laughs.

ERIC:
Now you’re getting it, Marcus.

MARCUS:
Tell me what the hell is this… Or I’m going to fucking blow your fucking head off.

ERIC:
I told you Marcus… This is your right of passage. This is your final test. Beats the hell out of the Torah, huh?

MARCUS:
You took me out here… Taught me to hunt… So you could… Attack me?

ERIC:
I’m not attacking you, Marcus… I’m hunting you. You are my prey.

MARCUS:
Why me?

ERIC:
Because you, Marcus, represent everything wrong with this world. You represent people who don’t appreciate their own lives. You represent the people who haven’t felt true fear, haven’t felt true hunger. You are everything I hate.

MARCUS:
Then why didn’t you just kill me. Why all the charade, why teach me how to kill?

ERIC:
A hunt wouldn’t be a fair hunt unless my target could fight back.

MARCUS:
So that’s it, huh. Just you and me, mano-e-mano, out here in the great outdoors… That’s what you wanted?

ERIC:
I think I’ve explained it enough for you.

ERIC advances closer to MARCUS, who once again raises the rifle toward ERIC.

MARCUS:
You forget that I’m the guy with the gun.

ERIC:
It’s empty, Marcus. You wasted your bullets on the trees when you should have been pointing it behind you.

MARCUS:
You don’t know that.

ERIC:
Games over, you loose… Time to get this fiesta started.

ERIC quickly screams, his back arching, as he begins to transform into a WEREWOLF.

MARCUS is stunned, and barely knows how to react, but manages to pull the trigger anyway… Click, click. Empty.

MARCUS drops the gun and grabs his side, pulling himself up, and running toward the camp fire.

ERIC is nearly complete in his transformation, and eyes MARCUS.

MARCUS trips on a rock and falls… In front of him, on the ground, is ERIC’S pistol he reaches for it when-

THE WEREWOLF leaps onto MARCUS’ back, crushing him and biting into MARCUS’S shoulder, causing MARCUS to shout out in pain. Marcus then reaches toward the firepit and grabs a rock, hitting the WEREWOLF on the side of the head hard with rock, causing it to let go of it’s grasp. MARCUS grabs the pistol and spins around, pushing the gun into the WEREWOLF’S throat. Their eyes meet, there is a moment of silence.

MARCUS fires into the werewolf’s throat, which howls and gargles in pain, MARCUS fires again, and again, and again, until the WEREWOLF goes limp on top of him. MARCUS pushes it off to the side, and gets up, soon the werewolf transforms back into ERIC, with a large wound on it’s neck.

MARCUS scoots back, sitting down, looking at the mayhem that just occurred. He looks toward ERIC’S tent, then towards ERIC’s car, then toward ERIC. He points the gun firmly into ERIC’s forehead.

MARCUS:
It’s simple survival…

MARCUS fires once last shot, blood splurting on his face. He then looks down, staring at the ground. He is alone… All alone… And he has been bitten.

MARCUS looks at his shoulder winces in pain, then begins to arch his back, and growl, howling, as he begins to change.

MARCUS drops the gun and completely transforms into a WEREWOLF… and gets up, crawling over his friend.

MARCUS WEREWOLF sniffs ERIC’s body… And then takes a bite into Eric’s neck.

MARCUS WEREWOLF begins to feed on ERIC’S body, and the woods go silent, the only sound remaining being that of the feeding…

THE END.


Special thanks to all those who commented on the first draft, you were all very helpful and I hope this draft fixes most of the problems you guys mentioned, if not, please inform me so that I can strive for better.