BLLODY MURDER IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS (Long Post)

[Scully1888]

CHAPTER 1 - "Opening Credits"

0:00:04 - 4 seconds into the movie, a car drives through the country side, with country-style music blasting at loud volume.
0:00:13 - It's still driving into the camera.
0:00:27 - It's finally stopped. It looks as if the car has stopped perfectly, but apparently it has broken down. A voice then utters the first line in this immortal movie: "I dunno whats going on but I just filled up the gas tank 20 minutes ago".
0:00:33 - Cut to a guy called Bill and a pregnant woman in the car. The pregnant woman may have no connection to the movie whatsoever. Anyway, the guy gets out of the car.
0:00:53 - He takes a petrol tank out of his car boot and closes the pregnant woman's car, not bothering to lock the door. LOL. Actually, I think this is meant to be the black girl's dad later on in the movie, but they obviously make it so vague that nobody notices. Or cares.
0:00:56 - Some suitably eerie music comes on as he walks down the road.
0:01:02 - As he walks down a long part of the road, the director seems to think it's a good idea to do a fade, so that the guy disappears from the start of the road and fades to the end of the road, still walking. By doing this, the director has managed to save 4 seconds of filming. The fact that it looks stupid doesn't matter.
0:01:15 - He comes across a guy just standing next to his truck in the middle of a forest road, while it's pitch black. As you would, Bill tries talking to this mystery man, asking him for "a lift back to the station".
0:01:20 - The mystery man turns his truck's lights on (why?) and Bill puts his hand over his eyes, in what has to be the worst acting since Ghostwriter.
0:01:25 - As Bill says "it's really fortunate I ran into you" (ho ho...), the man steps out. He is wearing a jumpsuit (just like in Halloween), a hockey mask (just like in Friday the 13th) and is holding a chainsaw in his right hand (just like in Texas Chainsaw Massacre).
0:01:32 - The killer's name is muttered by a shocked Bill: "Trevor Moorhouse..." In fact, it is so much like Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th that I laugh. A lot.
0:01:36 - FALL NUMBER 1 - Bill falls from a stationary position in an attempt to escape.
0:01:40 - Closeup on the chainsaw, as if we didn't know what was making the chainsaw noise.
BIG MISTAKE NUMBER 1 - The chainsaw isn't even on. The blades are stationary.
0:01:44 - Bill proceeds to run: not back in the opposite direction down the road again, where the tarmac will provide a solid surface for him to get a steady footing, and possibly flag down an oncoming car, but instead Bill takes a right turn and runs straight through the forest, waving his arms about like that girl in Scary Movie did, only this time he doesn't mean it.
0:01:48 - I've just noticed that he's running in an S-shape direction through the forest. Surely he'd pick up some time if he just ran straight instead of making sure he hit every blade of grass within a 20ft radius.
0:01:53 - Trevor (what a name for a murderer) pushes aside a plant with his chainsaw. Funnily, the plant doesn't cut. It just kind of moves out of the way.
BIG MISTAKE NUMBER 2 - There seem to be huge spotlights all over the forest. This is the only explanation I can give for the bright white light shining on the characters' faces.
0:01:54 - FALL NUMBER 2 - Bill's zigzaggy running technique causes him to fall for a second time.
0:02:02 - Trevor continues to WALK after Bill, in a way that could only be described as "drunken".
0:02:13 - Trevor knocks aside another twig with what is effectively a metal stick.
0:02:20 - FALL NUMBER 3 - Whilst running and turning around every 2 seconds to look at Trevor, Bill falls as if he has been shot in the back of the leg. He hasn't.
0:02:23 - Bill makes no attempt to run away while Trevor, having not broken into a run throughout any part of the chase, and having wasted time knocking over twigs and plants, has caught up with him in a matter of seconds.
0:02:26 - Close up of Bill's face going "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo etc".
DEATH NUMBER 1 - Bill dies by chainsaw to the stomach.
0:02:27 - As Trevor goes in for the kill, we see... a cut to the same forest, presumably years later, in the daytime.
0:02:31 - The very first line these teenagers say is incorrect. "How could he drive with a chainsaw for a right hand?". It turns out they are talking about the Trevor Moorhouse 'legend'. This is totally wrong, because the guy took the chainsaw out of the car with his left hand, then simply held it with his right.
0:02:35 - Oh, I've just been informed by stereotypically funny and zany teenager boy (SFAZTY) that "It was left hand and I'm telling you, it happened". You're a liar son, it wasn't on any hand.
0:02:44 - The driver guy with the mighty mullet rubbishes these legends, labelling them as "bullshit. Camp lore. There's no such person as Trevor Moorhouse".
0:02:46 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 1 - SFATZY replies with "I guess that's what we'll tell ourselves when we're trying to sleep at night", followed by guffaws of the highest degree. Uh... what?
0:02:53 - Finally the laughing finishes, and the main titles come up. I believe the font is Arial, white, bold. First of all, up comes "MAINLINE RELEASING".
0:02:56 - "IN ASSOSCIATION WITH HEMISPHERE ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS".
0:03:00 - "A MARC GREENBERG, RICH GOLDBERG PRODUCTION".
0:03:04 - "A RALPH PORTILLO FILM".
0:03:08 - "SCREAM BLOODY MURDER".
0:03:12 - "JESSICA MORRIS". Never heard of her.
0:03:16 - "PETER GUILLEMETTE". Nope, sorry.
0:03:24 - That appears to be the end of the titles. Two actors. At this point, some guy, who is sitting in the front seat, turns round to Julie, who is sitting in the back.
0:03:25 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 2 - He says to her "Contrary to what your father would have you believe, I'm not the big bad wolf, Jules." Everyone else in the car pisses themselves laughing.
0:03:38 - Oh wait, more titles. "PATRICK CAVENAUGH".
0:03:42 - "CHRISTELLE FORD".
0:03:46 - "MICHAEL STONE".
0:03:50 - "JUSTIN MARTIN". Obviously this has been put through an Apple Mac and told to add a line evry 4 seconds.
0:03:54 - "TRACY PACHECO, LINDSEY LEIGH, DAVE SMIGELSKI". It's quite funny that these actors are even worse than those who got 4 seconds to themselves. These douchebags have to share their 4 seconds of fame with 2 other losers.
0:03:58 - "MICHAEL PROHASKA, WILLIAM WINTER, JERRY RICHARDS". Now, I don't remember this many characters being in the movie. I think they're giving the actor who played the guy that covered up the killer with the body bag and stuff like that.
0:04:02 - "CASTING: DEBBIE NELSON". Strike her off the casting list.
0:04:06 - "MUSIC: STEVEN STERN". What a guy.
0:04:10 - "EDITOR: CARLOS PUENTE". This guy's editing is atrocious. More on that later.
0:04:14 - "DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY: KEITH HOLLAND". What photography? Oh you mean the crap with the closeups and all that? You mean you pay somebody to make it look that bad?
0:04:18 - "EXECTUTIVE PRODUCERS: MARC GREENBERG, RICH GOLDBERG, MARC BIENSTOCK". Why is there a guy called Beanstalk, and why are they 'executives'? You can just picture them staying over at Beanstalk's house, arguing over the movie with a cup of hot cocoa and sheriff badges that say "executive" on them, as if they were part of a secret movie club and they'd made each other executives so they could boss other people in the club around.
0:04:22 - "PRODUCED BY RALPH PORTILLO, JAMIE ELLIOTT". Wait a minute. If these are the producers, then what do the executive producers do?

CHAPTER 2 - "Arrival"

0:04:25 - A rather butch-looking camp owner called Patrick comes over as the teens arrive at the camp. Not a word of welcome is uttered, instead he begins to round off their names with unnerving accuracy. "Let's see: Dean," he says, looking at the guy with the ferocious mullet, then "Whitney," a sort of half-cast girl who may be Latino, I don't know/care. Followed closely by "Jason," the cheesy Big Bad Wolf guy, "Julie," the lead role who is extremely cute, but couldn't hold a kindergarten school play in terms of acting, "aaand... Toby", who is the aforementioned SFATZY. This whole action is performed in 3 seconds, meaning that you've already forgotten their names and don't care about them before the guy's even finished.
0:04:28 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 3 - As a response to Patrick (the camp owner)'s accuracy in naming them, Toby retorts with "Wow, do you bend spoons too?" which leads to hysteria throughout. What. The. Hell.
0:04:33 - Patrick dingys Toby and tells everyone that he recognised them from their applications. You mean they applied to join this camp? That's pretty gay.
0:04:38 - Patrick announces that "I'll be your boss for the next 6 weeks".
0:04:39 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 4 - As a response to this, Toby does a salute. It gets little to no reaction.
0:04:42 - With a welcome of "Uh-oh", Brad is introduced to the posse. It turns out that he is already accquainted with them, especially Jason.
0:04:55 - Let's let Brad explain it. "Jason and I used to run track against each other in school. Last time we ran for qualifications, he broke his knee ten yards from the finish line." Jason's (almost mumbled) response is "Well that's funny, I don't recall that was the last time you raced". I've rewinded and replayed this scene about 10 times, and I still don't get what the conflict is here. Uh... why is he pissed off?
0:05:13 - They are joined by another cute blonde (who unfortunately doesn't get much lines... or nudity), and a guy with long hair who looks like Dave Grohl when he was in Nirvana. They aren't even given names yet.
0:05:34 - Dean and Jason help Patrick "move wood", which could mean something else, while Julie, Toby and Whitney go to make the food.
0:06:07 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 5 - Toby (who else) states that "It frightens me to think that my diet for the next 8 weeks will consist primarily of cream, spinach and Mrs. Peet's tater tots". What the hell does that mean? Surely there's more food than that?
0:06:10 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 6 - Whitney's reaction to this is "Oh, not me. I'm sticking with what I know - Ritz crackers and peanut butter. The basic building blocks of a well-rounded eating disorder". Nobody talks like that, shut up.
0:06:19 - Toby points out the obvious. "Wow, no shortage of knives in here."
0:06:39 - Whitney goes into the pantry and turns the light on, initiating a "spooky" musical sting to hit. For no reason.
0:06:50 - Julie, carrying a box, enters a freezer. On the freezer's door it says "CAUTION: DOOR LOCKS FROM OUTSIDE". Toby follows her and the door is both open and stationary, showing no signs of closing by itself.
0:07:01 - The door closes by itself. They are locked in.
0:07:04 - Toby, quoting the door notice perfectly, says "Well don't look at me, I didn't know it locked from the outside". Julie tells him "Well, there was a sign on the door".
0:07:11 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 7 - Toby's reply is "It's summer right? I'm not looking for a reason to read". So far, he hasn't hit the target with any of his jokes.
0:07:34 - Cut to outside the camp again. As they go to the car, Jason asks Dean "So Dean, am I a happy camper?" Dean opens the car boot and brings out a big rack of beer.
0:07:46 - Dean has 'hilariously' brought a hockey mask with him, or rather he tells us, Toby has, because "he brought it to scare the kids". Sad bastard.
0:07:49 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 8 - Jason puts on the mask and mimics Psycho, going "EE EE EE".
0:07:59 - Cut back to the freezer, where Toby and Julie don't have any goosebumps at all, despite having been in the freezer for a fair bit.
0:08:05 - Toby tries to hit on Julie with what has to be the worst pick-up line I've heard in my life. "Y'know Julie, if it comes down to it I'm willing to be with you carnally... in order to stay warm, of course."
0:08:17 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 9 - Whitney opens the freezer door and tells Toby to try his pick-up lines only at room temperatur or above, because "you'll never get a girl to take her shirt off in the refridgerator". Don't know why not, it's not as if it's any colder, I mean there are no goosebumps or anything...

CHAPTER 3 - "A New Friend"

0:08:27 - Cut to the lake, and some suitably cheesy Jimmy Buffet/Frontierland music playing.
0:08:31 - Toby and Jason are carrying a canoe to the end of the dock, as are Julie, Whitney and Dean.
0:08:38 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 10 - Dean pulls the end of the canoe he's carrying, saying "hey, watch your footing there, Whit." Obviously being made to nearly fall is not funny to Whitney, hence her reaction "Dean I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you". Could she be the killer?
0:08:41 - Dean explains to Julie that this was funny because "Whitney can't swim". That shouldn't make a difference though, because they weren't even on the dock when he did it.
0:08:46 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 11 - Julie's reaction says it all. "No way". Whitney is obviously pissed off, and Dean's reaction is to do a stupid litte biting thing. For no reason.
0:08:50 - Toby and Jason drop off their canoe in to the water, and Toby offers "hey, I'll help you guys". How many people does it take to carry a damn canoe?
0:08:56 - The girls cleverly let go of the canoe, forcing Toby and Dean to drop the canoe into the water, but not before a count of "one, two, three".
0:09:00 - Toby looks at them both in disgust for some reason. Could he be the killer?
0:09:05 - Patrick and a mystery black girl come out carrying another canoe.
0:09:16 - Again, another three count is needed.
0:09:20 - The girl is announced by Patrick as being called "Drew Zemky". He then goes through everyone's names again.
0:09:28 - Everyone replies with the line "Hey, how's it goin". The problem is, EVERYONE replies with the line, at different intervals so it sounds as if they're all 'Bounce With Me Tiggers' and someone's pressed them one at a time. It's a bit like the Fembots in Austin Powers that say "You can't resist us Mr Powers".
0:09:33 - Patrick makes Julie and Drew co-counsellors. This takes me back to the "Executive Producers" thing again. The fact that they are co-counsellors makes no difference to the story whatsoever, except for the fact that they now sleep in bunkbeds.
0:09:37 - A random view of the trees. This Trevor Moorhouse guy must be a lot scarier than once thought, as he has managed to make mountains appear behind the trees. At the start of the scene, there were no mountains at all, and now they are blatantly obvious. This either rules out every character as the murder and tells us that Trevor is a magician or a warlock, or it rules out the editor as a good editor. I'll go for the second one - you make up your own mind.
0:09:40 - Cut to Julie and Drew walking through the woods. This is a hilarious conversation so I'm going to provide it in script form, with my own comments in parentheses.

JULIE: So where are you from?
DREW: All over, we moved around a lot (hmm, bit vague). Boston most recently. What about you?
JULIE: Small town (could you get any more vague than "Small town"?). About 2 and a half hours south of here.
DREW (INTERUPTING JULIE, AS IF SHE'S DESPERATE TO SAY HER LINE): Small towns are great.
JULIE: Yeah, if you don't have to live in one (Oh. Kay.).
DREW: Well try living in the city for a while. After that, you really crave the peace of a small place.
JULIE: I don't know...
DREW: Oh come on (it's as if she's forcing her to do drugs or something)! Everybody knows your name, all those deep dark hidden secrets that everybody tries to ignore...
JULIE: That's good?
DREW: Okay, well where else have you lived?
JULIE: That's it (what? Just "small town"?). I've lived there all my life.

Exactly. No point whatsoever, and it's just used up 37 seconds of footage. Bastards.
0:10:20 - Julie and Drew are walking perfectly in sync, when Drew tells her that she needs to go back because she forgot her camper list. What does she need a camper list for? Could she be the killer? She goes, and Julie keeps going by herself.
0:10:32 - As she walks past a tree, an old man in a blue jumpsuit grabs her shoulder and tells her "there's danger in these woods. Nelson's come back for revenge". He then nods to himself and walks away. Oh .... kay. He also has an orange face and a big birthmark. Could he be the killer?
0:10:56 - Julie meets Patrick back at the camp. He's carrying some big boxes. She asks him about the old guy. He tells her that it was "Henry. Yeah he used to run the camp up here years ago, back when I was a camper".
0:11:06 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 12 / SEVERE MEDICAL ERROR - He goes on "that was before the Altzheimer's kicked in". Now, Altzheimer's disease is an illness that affects memory, and leads to sufferers of the illness being forgetful at times. How does Patrick imitate Henry's Altzheimers? HE SHAKES AND LOOKS LIKE JIM CARREY. What. The. Hell. Does. That. Have. To. Do. With. Altzheimer's. Obviously he is confused with Parkinson's.
0:11:15 - Patrick is carrying these two boxes with the greatest of ease, yet he pointlessly asks Julie to take one for him. Sadistic bastard. Suddenly, however, it seems as if a single box is a lot heavier for Patrick than two boxes at once. Perhaps he wasn't imitating Altzheimer's, and he really does have a physical problem? Or perhaps he sucks at acting? Again, I'll go for the second one - you make up your own mind.
0:11:25 - Cut to a shitty-looking hut. Julie and Drew are apparently inside it. Juile is typing an e-mail.
BIG MISTAKE NUMBER 3 - A hugh continuity error on Julie's monitor. Her e-mail, according to the monitor (at first) and her voiceover (which sounds like it's been recorded in a wind tunnel), reads like this:

You were right about this place. It really is beautiful up here. I miss you, Dad. Write me. Love Julie.

Just after "write me" is typed onto the monitor, the camera cuts to a shot of Julie typing, then it cuts back to the monitor. However, the typing of the words "Love Julie" seem to have added about 3 lines of text to the e-mail. In fact, it's a totally different e-mail. Here it is:

There's an old man up here named Henry. Patrick said that he used to run the camp years ago. Anyway, he knew your name, and asked me to ask you "what really happened to Nelson?" Any idea what he was talking about? Miss you. Love Jules.

Obviously this cut was meant to be used later on in the movie, but it's not even a small mistake that it would take a sad guy to spot. It's blatantly obvious. It cuts to her face for 2 seconds and when it comes back, there's an extra 3 full lines of text. Anyway.
0:11:38 - Drew sees a photo of Julie's mom on the desk, and says "she's really pretty". At this point the odds are that she'd died.
0:11:43 - Julie says, wait for it, "Yeah. She uh... she died recently". THERE IT IS!!!!!
0:11:46 - Drew replies with "Wow". Uh, not a reaction I'm used to seeing in movies. Oh wait, here we go. "I'm sorry. I lost one of my parents too". That's more like it.
0:12:00 - After about 15 seconds of pure silence and boredom, Julie hears a knock at the window.
0:12:03 - A guy in a hockey mask slowly moves his head up to the window, as if he's on a really slow elevator.
0:12:05 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 13 - The mask is removed, and it's Jason, laughing.
0:12:10 - Julie is furious. She yells at him in a fit of rage "DON'T DO THAT!!!!!!" This looks promising.
0:12:11 - Jason tells her that everyone's at a campfire, and does she want to come?
0:12:13 - Julie smiles and says "yeah", laughing. What the hell? Obviously Julie can be swayed VERY easily.
0:12:32 - Drew doesn't want to go, but she checks her e-mails instead. As Julie leaves, Drew looks at her with an evil look. Could she be the killer?

TO BE CONTINUED...

[This message has been edited by Scully1888 (edited 01-14-2002).]

[This message has been edited by Scully1888 (edited 04-25-2002).]

[SteveSzyk]

Man thats awesome! This movie sucks big time, and if you want to see it, read that!

BTW, Bloody Murder will never be as famous as Plan 9!




[This message has been edited by SteveSzyk (edited 09-15-2001).]

[Prairiedogking]

LOL, can't wait for the rest

[Requiem-for-a-Dream]

Man this movie blows, you do justice to it.

Matt

[The Rob]

dude that actually makes me want to wtach it

[Dr Martin Luther Loomis]

DAMN!

[Rich]

man Almost makes me want to watch it again...

Rich

[Cyclonus]

<peeks out from under rock> That's why I'm afraid to read it! <goes back into hiding>

[cereal killer]

good job scully but the movie still sucks all mighty dick.

[ArmyJacket]

I aplaud you dude, i damn near pissed myself laughing while reading this. Bloody Murder is by far the worst movie i've ever seen.

Highlights:

PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 3 - As a response to Patrick (the camp owner)'s accuracy in naming them, Toby retorts with "Wow, do you bend spoons too?" which leads to hysteria throughout. What. The. Hell.

0:07:46 - Dean has 'hilariously' brought a hockey mask with him, or rather he tells us, Toby has, because "he brought it to scare the kids". Sad bastard.

0:09:37 - A random view of the trees. This Trevor Moorhouse guy must be a lot scarier than once thought, as he has managed to make mountains appear behind the trees. At the start of the scene, there were no mountains at all, and now they are blatantly obvious. This either rules out every character as the murder and tells us that Trevor is a magician or a warlock, or it rules out the editor as a good editor. I'll go for the second one - you make up your own mind.

0:12:03 - A guy in a hockey mask slowly moves his head up to the window, as if he's on a really slow elevator.

[Jason Voorhees]

Initially, I hated this flick...but after a few more viewings, I began to appreciate its cheesy glory.

I actually...like it...quite a bit.

P.S. Sadly, my friends refer to me as "Trevor Moorehouse" because of my praising this film...

[*sweet psychotic*]

LOL! Oh my god I almost pissed myself laughing at some parts.

0:01:02 - As he walks down a long part of the road, the director seems to think it's a good idea to do a fade, so that the guy disappears from the start of the road and fades to the end of the road, still walking. By doing this, the director has managed to save 4 seconds of filming. The fact that it looks stupid doesn't matter.
0:01:40 - Closeup on the chainsaw, as if we didn't know what was making the chainsaw noise.
0:01:44 - Bill proceeds to run: not back in the opposite direction down the road again, where the tarmac will provide a solid surface for him to get a steady footing, and possibly flag down an oncoming car, but instead Bill takes a right turn and runs straight through the forest, waving his arms about like that girl in Scary Movie did, only this time he doesn't mean it.
0:01:48 - I've just noticed that he's running in an S-shape direction through the forest. Surely he'd pick up some time if he just ran straight instead of making sure he hit every blade of grass within a 20ft radius.
0:01:53 - Trevor (what a name for a murderer) pushes aside a plant with his chainsaw. Funnily, the plant doesn't cut. It just kind of moves out of the way.
0:03:24 - That appears to be the end of the titles. Two actors. At this point, some guy, who is sitting in the front seat, turns round to Julie, who is sitting in the back.
0:03:25 - PATHETIC JOKE NUMBER 2 - He says to her "Contrary to what your father would have you believe, I'm not the big bad wolf, Jules." Everyone else in the car pisses themselves laughing.
0:03:38 - Oh wait, more titles. "PATRICK CAVENAUGH".

LOLOL!Can't wait for the rest.

[Jason Voorhees]

You have an amazingly analytical mind, Scully. Upon my first viewing, I got so bored with this movie that I couldn't focus on it at all.

On somewhat related note, I love that scene where the guy falls down and says ''Trevor Moorehouse.'' It almost sounded like he started laughing at the end of that statement.

Furthermore, I'm sure you've noticed this...but at times it seems that the "actors" are cueing or being cued by someone; say, like when one actor turns to look at the other, prompting the second actor to butcher an already atrocious line... Terrible...

[Scully1888]

Thanks for the support guys, it makes this huge task seem worthwhile. It obviously takes a long time to do this... it takes well over 2 hours to write 10 minutes, with my DVD player and TV next to me.

I'm now at about the 70-minute mark of this 90-minute beast. It should be finished by the end of the week, but I'm warning you all now, this will be a huge post. I'm actually wondering how big posts are allowed to be in this thing. Does anyone know? Because I may have to start e-mailing MS Word versions of it to people.

[Jason Voorhees]

Well, if that's what you decide to do, Scully, I'll definitely throw my e-mail address down .

[*sweet psychotic*]

Yeah, me too.

[ominous_oat]

If it comes to that, count me in

[someguy]

I think it's better to do each bit in 20 minute intervals. Some people on the boards might not give away their e-mail address and I think it'll be funnier to read it in intervals because it'll get tiresome doing everything at one time and it'll lose it's humor.

[Scully1888]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by someguy:
I think it's better to do each bit in 20 minute intervals. Some people on the boards might not give away their e-mail address and I think it'll be funnier to read it in intervals because it'll get tiresome doing everything at one time and it'll lose it's humor. </font>

Yeah, I was thinking about that and I kinda agree with you. Besides, I don't think everyone (myself included, seeing as I'm using a crappy P133) has enough RAM to open a Word document that will be at least 1.5mb in size. At the very least, that is.

[ominous_oat]

I saw this drifting dangerously towards the bottom, so I figured i'd BUMP it up just in case. Hey you never know.

[Scully1888]

Thanks oat, but... I have some extremely bad news...

IMPORTANT MESSAGE REGARDING THE BLOODY MURDER IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS.

Unfortunately, due to powers beyond my control (ie my little brother's stupidity), my Bloody Murder in-depth analysis (which I had managed to get up to 80 minutes and into the final chase scene, after the killer had been revealed to a ridiculously bad monologue) has... BEEN DELETED.

I have a backp copy on my old computer, but there are two bad points about it. Point 1 - It's only been done up to 20 minutes. Point 2 - It's in Edinburgh, in my university flat.

So, it is with a heavy heart that I say to you - the Bloody Murder in-depth analysis is postponed indefinitely. It WILL be here eventually, the problem is that it won't be here for the end of the week. For now, I'll post the rest of what I have, which is pretty much the whole of the "bloody murder" game, and I'll get right back on it again as soon as I've convinced my parents to let me take a TV and DVD player up to Edinburgh with me when I go back on Sunday.

&lt;BLOODY MURDER GAME MOVED TO A LATER POST&gt;

[This message has been edited by Scully1888 (edited 01-14-2002).]

[malaria]

Just got round to reading this.
Great job Scully. Bloody hilarious. This film sounds shit. I'm looking forward to seeing the shitfest but I'm putting it off 'til I've read the rest.
Can't wait. Little brothers eh? Tchock!

[ominous_oat]

BUMP! Can't let this topic die

[chinton]

seriously scully I think I speak for everyone when I say you go girl. You are so funny you deserve to be on mystery scince theater 3000

[TooL]

This..is making me want to see the film...Again..

[Scully1888]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by chinton:
seriously scully I think I speak for everyone when I say you go girl. You are so funny you deserve to be on mystery scince theater 3000</font>

Thanks chinton. I appreciate everything you say except for "girl". I was cursed with the nickname "Scully" since I was 5 (before the X-Files) because my full name is Christopher Scullion.

Damn you Gillian Anderson.

So anyway, I'm male.

[Scully1888]

EXCELLENT NEWS!!!!!!!!!

After some heavy bartering with my parents, I've managed to get a DVD player in my University flat! Which means that the Analysis will be complete a lot quicker than it would have been if I'd to do it with the VHS version.

Now, because my university computer sucks ass, I've decided that I'll post the Analysis in chapter-by-chapter form, going by the chapters on the DVD. This means that each portion will be between 3-10 minutes long. (I know it doesn't seem like much, but just look at, for example, how much is written between 0:00:00 and 0:03:00. That's how much you'll get a day, AT LEAST.
That's right, I'll try to post a chapter every day.

For an example of how big this thing's going to be: what you've read already is chapters 1-4. There are 22 chapters.

You can see how much time this is taking me to write, which is why I appreciate all your words of support.

So, many thanks (so far) to:

- SteveSzyk (nice to know a moderator likes my work).
- Prairiedogking.
- Requiem-for-a-Dream.
- The Rob.
- Dr Martin Luther Loomis.
- Rich.
- Cyclonus.
- cereal killer.
- ArmyJacket (thanks for taking time to post your favourite highlights).
- Jason Voorhees (thanks - you've made me watch their acting techniques a lot more cloesly to see if they look as if they're being prompted. It's comedy, lol).
- *sweet psychotic*.
- ominous_oat (many, many thanks for constantly bumping and keeping this thread alive).
- someguy.
- malaria.
- chinton (except for calling me female, lol).
- TooL.

Again, many thanks, and I'll be back tomorrow with the next part. I'll also edit my original post to put it into chapters.

[Jason Voorhees]

You're quite welcome, Scully. This stuff is truly high quality, man. For those of you who haven't seen the film, you're gonna love the "twist" ending...

.

[Jason Voorhees]

Anyone wanna play Bloody Murder? Okay, maybe not...

[TooL]

Hey Scully,

Your Welcome and thanks for doing this..

[someguy]

Your welcome Scully. At least it'll be easier for you to do the analysis now.

[chinton]

sorry about calling you a girl but you really are as funny as those people on mystery science theater 3000

[Zing!]

Holy hell, Scully, are you a glutton for punishment or what?!?!?! I could barely make myself sit through this gigantic turd, much less break it down as you have. I'm starting to think you have mental problems, but I love it! Keep up the good work, I've laughed my ass off so far!

[Scully1888]

Thanks again guys, it's coming, trust me...

I maybe went a bit ahead of myself saying I could do a chapter a day... I just don't have that kind of time. Needless to say, I'll have done a shitload by the end of this weekend, because I'll be taking a break from my studying (being a journalism student ain't all it's cracked up to be...).

So expect a lot on Monday.

Until then, here's a quote to live your life by. For those of you who've seen the movie, you may remember it. For those who haven't, it's a taste of scriptual genius to come.

"Misery comes in lots of different forms... it's all miserable."

[Scully1888]

Hey, I was thinking... what'll happen when I eventually finish this?

I mean, surely it won't keep getting bumped forever. I want something that'll last. Does anyone know a website that may accept it? Because joblo.com is far too big to take schmoe submissions, and Arrow, JoBlo and the rest are doing a great job.
I mean, I'd like it to be a joblo.com exclusive, because the site rules all ass, but I don't want it to just disappear after a while. It's taken far too long to do for that to happen.

[Scully1888]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Scully1888:
Hey, I was thinking... what'll happen when I eventually finish this?

I mean, surely it won't keep getting bumped forever. I want something that'll last. Does anyone know a website that may accept it? Because joblo.com is far too big to take schmoe submissions, and Arrow, JoBlo and the rest are doing a great job as it is without schmoes trying to submit work and pissing them off.
I mean, I'd like it to be a joblo.com exclusive, because the site rules all ass, but I don't want it to just disappear after a while. It's taken far too long to do for that to happen.</font>

[Jason Voorhees]

Well, you'd probably have to create a Geocities or Angelfire page to hold all the info. And even then, I'm not sure just how much bandwidth they allow.

[Cyclonus]

In the meantime just save it on at least a half-dozen backup discs!

[chinton]

not to rush you scully but how far are you getting the next post up. your posts are one of the things I look forward to every day.

[chinton]

just keeping it at the top