Stupid people in horror movies DESERVE to die!

[Tuukka]

I just watched the Dawn Of The Dead (2004). I thought it was a VERY entertaining movie with slick visual style, good directing and acting. I would give it 7/10.

But come on... Why do characters in horror movies almost always act like FUCKING IMBECILS??????????


*** DAWN OF THE DEAD SPOILERS ***

1. My first problem: CJ is fucking dumb in the beginning. Even a child can notice a difference between a zombie and a human. This guy just can't grasp it. If a human speaks and acts intelligently, HE IS NOT A FUCKING ZOMBIE. And really CJ, people doing "shoplifting" in your store is the least of your problems when all the people in the world are dying because of a massive zombie invasion. Get a grip on yourself, you idiot.

2. Hey, there might be zombies inside the market. What should we do? Let's SPLIT, guys. After all if we stay together we can kill the zombies, but if each one of us searches the market ALONE we have a better change of getting killed. So yeah, let's split!

3. Ana has seen that when people are attacked, they can get infected and can turn into zombies. So when the fat lady is brought inside and she is CLEARLY infected and even looks like a zombie, nobody is even a bit suspicious. Yeah, right.

4. When they realize that being bitten makes you infected, they decide to kill off the father with a wound in his hand, even if he is still a human, and they can't be sure whether he will turn into a zombie or not. They don't want to guarantine him, because there is no place to lock him into... Bullshit. We have all already seen that there are plenty of places to lock him into. You were ALL locked into a separate place, remember? CJ put you into there. Not to mention that we have already seen closets and small rooms which are perfect places to guarantine someone. USE YOUR BRAINS, DIMWITS!

5. We have to search the cellar because the power went out. What should we do? Hey, let's not go there all together because we could easily wipe out possible zombies. Instead just three of us should go there, and better yet, only Michael should go there with CJ and his pal, who have both been so far just dumb sociopaths not worthy of trust.

6. Hey, Andre is trying to keep Luda away from everyone's sight. You know, it's a REALLY good idea to not stick together as a group, and instead let everyone do their own, god-knows-what business. After all we REALLY manage to minimize the risks by having no order and control at all inside the group.

7. Oh shit, the dog just run into another building. What should I do? I know, I'll take a car and drive through 1000 zombies to save the fucking dog. I have a 99% change of dying, but I'll still do it. Best idea of the day.

8. The fucking dumb suicidical bitch just drove to another building and is now surrounded by 1000 zombies. What should we do? She is not answering the phone and is gonna be dead in roughly 10 minutes. Should we sacrifice ourselves to save the dumb bitch? Yeah, that's a good idea. Most of us probably die trying to save her, but it's still a good idea.

9. You know, we are driving this car. There aren't any masses of zombies nearby. There is only one zombie on our roof, but he can't enter inside. The road is full of cars and other stuff. The danger our car colliding with something is VERY big. And we can't afford to crash our car, because then we are doomed. So what should we do? DRIVE AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! DON'T LOOK AHEAD!!!

10. We are now on a boat. What should we do? Hey, I have a good idea: We should stay on the ocean for so long that we run out of food and water. Staying close to the coast and all the small islands on the coast is a bad idea, after all that way we could improve our food and water supplies anytime we want. Instead we should just wait until we are close to death and then enter some totally random island with no preparations and get ourselves killed. Yeah, that's a good idea!

- - -

That's 10 times when I felt angry and frustated at the characters on the screen while watching Dawn Of The Dead remake. Now, I'm not usually nitpicky, and 4-5 of these things I can live with. It's usual for horror movies that characters act dumb. But this film was REALLY pushing it. The characters made some genuinely smart choices as well, but roughly 50% of the time they acted like dumbwits.

I still liked the film because the execution was so strong. It's visually impressive with mostly good acting and superb directing.

But please, all the horror screenwriters in the world, try to make your characters SMART. It's hard to respect them and like them if you start despising their intelligence.

[X-Nightcrawler]

Haha, that's quite the rant. *thumbs up*

And I did totally completely hated the "chainsaw" death. The entire end bit of Dawn remake had characters dying off in gratitious ways.

[pyscho dude]

Well what do you expect when you have a movie written by the same guy who wrote Scooby Doo? The remake was better than I thought it would be but it was still flawed. About C.J. protecting the mall, did anyone else find that as a ripoff/homage to Night of the comet?