Stupidest/Craziest Thing You Have Seen At A Movie Theater

[BorderEevilIII]

I have seen my share of people spilling their popcorns while walking up the aisles or when a mother gave her kid to hold the popcorn so she could sit down and the kid ends up spilling it anyway but while I was waiting for Madagascar to start this kid who was on my left was using his cell phone. Then I noticed the first five rows near the screen there was another kid looking up and he had a cell phone too.... These 2 were talking to each other on the phone! And they started up w/ a conversation on where ya are, whatcha doin and what movie ru seeing..... I could care less on these 2 guys or should I saaay GIRLS but having to hear these individuals gettin all giggly makes me wanna plug my ears.

[happy_killmore]

me and my friend got made fun of by a group of asshats for bringing a Michael Myer's doll with a pullstring to play the Halloween theme to the first showing of Halloween: Resurrection with us...that was pretty stupid.

*edited to reduce derogatory comments towards a specific set of people*

[Winston Wolfe]

Originally posted by happy_killmore
me and my friend got made fun of by a group of fags for bringing a Michael Myer's doll with a pullstring to play the Halloween theme to the first showing of Halloween: Resurrection with us...that was pretty stupid.

..."fags"...

Please do NOT use derogatory terms such as this one on our board since it offends certain peeps who are of the homosexual variety here.

Thanks for understanding.

[happy_killmore]

Originally posted by Winston Wolfe
..."fags"...

Please do NOT use derogatory terms such as this one on our board since it offends certain peeps who are of the homosexual variety here.

Thanks for understanding.

fix'd

[Badbird]

True story:

It was the summer of 1999 and everyone was excited for this movie called The Blair Witch Project. The hype had built up so much, many theaters offered a Midnight preview, something that had become uncommon.

It was sold out everywhere. The last place that had tickets was the AMC Olathe 30 for a 12:15 AM screening. We get there fairly early, but the place was already packed with activity. I had never been to a midnight movie before, and seeing a crowded theater at midnight was pretty cool. Plus there were no screaming kids.

It's playing in the biggest theater there, seating around 600. My partner and I grab our usual seats: very back row, center. The theater proceeds to fill up as time grows near.

We notice some high school kids in the row in front of us. There's about six or eight of them. They had obviously come together and were friends. Then I notice one of them has a gallon of milk...

A gallon. Of milk.

How he snuck in a gallon of milk in the middle of the summer is beyond me.

My first reaction to it was "He snuck in alcohol." But then I realize this is ludicrous. Alcohol? In a gallon of milk? At the same time I'm thinking this, a couple of teenage girls sitting next to him see the same thing, and the conversation goes something like this:

Girl: "Why do you have a gallon of milk?"

Guy: "We were at a gas station before coming over and I wanted some milk. My friends made a bet that I couldn't finish this gallon before the movie started."

Girl: "Can you do that?"

Guy: "I've done it before. And I haven't had anything to eat today, so I know I can do it."

Girl: "What do you win if you finish it?"

Guy: "They pay for the milk."

Girl: "What kind of contest is that?"

Guy: "That's just it. The whole idea is just stupid and ridiculous, that's why we're doing it."

Girl: "Okay" (giggles)

Time draws near. It's almost showtime and the kid still has a lot of milk left. Finally, one of his friends says "Dude, there's no way you can finish that."

Guy: (exaggerating greatly): "You don't think I can do it?! Huh?! Huh?! Oh, I'll do it!"

And he stands up and starts chugging the gallon of milk.

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" His friends shout. Soon this draws the attention of the whole theater. 600 people turn around to see what's going on, then they join in the chant.

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"

But he can't finish it.

"Aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" Says the theater.

"I have five minutes!" The guy says, still standing. "I just need to let my stomach settle for a second." He pats his stomach, with roughly two inches of milk left in the container.

After a couple minutes, he goes again.

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" Says the crowd. And then he finishes.

"YYYYYaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!"

He pulls down the jug and I see his face. His skin is flushed red. His eyes are bloodshot and watering. He looks like hell. I can hear his stomach rumbling from three feet away.

Guy's Friend: "Dude, are you okay?"

The guy can't talk. He just shakes his head and let's out a guttural "Uh-uh..."

Then it happens. His stomach rumbles some more. Then I hear - I fucking hear - the milk rush from his stomach up his esophagus. It was this horrible, muted "roar-ooooosh!" sound. I fucking hear it.

He quickly covers his mouth and a blast of milk-puke comes out. He runs for the aisle and the row of people runs away screaming, but it's no use.

He pukes up an entire gallon of milk all over the row of seats.

I want you to think about that for a second.

An entire gallon.

Theater patrons flee in terror. Those with easily upset stomachs shield their eyes out of fear of seeing the milk-puke that they too might puke. And within a matter of seconds, the bright theater cleaning lights come on.

A minute later, one lonely usher makes his way up the long flight of stairs with a pan and broom in one hand, and a package of sawdust in the other. I can see the look on his face, a mixture of dread and fear. Fear of the puke. He climbs up there at last, takes a look at the mess at hand, and hangs his head in despair and shame.

Pity the man who must clean up milk-puke at midnight.

I made my way to the lobby to make sure the milk-toting bandit and his friends were kicked out, only to find a swarm of angry customers surrounding a manager.

The same morons who just moments earlier were shouting "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" now wanted to complain about said chugging.

"How did he get in a gallon of milk?" Asked one man.

That's what I wanted to know.

"Oh, I don't think there was milk in it," said the manager, quickly shifting the conversation away from poor theater management to teenage kid tomfoolery.

I felt like explaining what I had seen, but the natives were restless, and I didn't care anymore. If you don't want stupid people doing stupid things, don't encourage them.

My faith in humanity lost, I returned to my seat. It was summer time. It was hot outside. And with 600 people crowding the room, it was hot inside as well. And there was a gallon of milk-puke in the row before me.

Amazingly, the puke missed the seats, so the cleanup was relatively routine. The back row now decontaminated, the patrons returned to their seats. Good for them, because since it was a sell out, there were no other seats available at all.

Finally, the lights went down, the previews came on...



Then I saw the craziest/stupidest thing I had ever seen in a theater: The Blair Witch Project

[king_verhoeven]

PRICELESS!!! Great story

[cocksmokinclerk]

*sigh*

thank you badbird, i haven't laughed that hard since i was little girl (but i'm really a dude)

[Raw Chili]

Just a teenage couple making out in the front of the lobby of the movie theater I use to work at. The chick who was probably around 15 or 16 had a skirt that went down to the middle of her thighs and she wasnt' wearing underwear. People kept on going to customer service and complaining, so the manager goes to them, has them stop and makes them call their parents or whoever to pick them up, pretty amusing.

[Misanthrope]

One time friends went to the movies and this one guy we call Boss bought a bottle of mayonese moustard and ketchup along with a few tomatoes and decided to acompany his condiments with a hotdog beneath them.

When he is about to sit down another friend laughs and pats him in the back causing him to let go of his monstrous blub of cheap condiments and processed meat landing on the person in front of him on the other row. Then he proceeds to apologize and "clean" the person with his napking making an otherwise big stain cover up about half the guy's shirt.

Lucky for us the incident was not escalated out of fear because we were a group of 8, 4 of us over 6 feet tall and 300 pounds of weight so you get the picture.

[jackson13]

Saw a girl giving a guy head once.

It was at the last showing of Barbershop 2 (or any movie for that matter) at a $1 theater at a mall that was closing. There were maybe 15 people total in the theater.

I got bored with the movie and started looking around the theater at the other people watching the movie when I glance over my shoulder and see a guy, totally stretched out, head leaned back, staring at the ceiling. Then I notice something moving up and down in his lap. Then I noticed the hunched over person in the seat next to him.

I nudge my cousin who is sitting next to me and say "Dude, that guy is getting blown." We kept sneaking glances until they "finished".

Turned out to be more entertaining than the movie.

[deftdelivery]

http://www.joblo.com/forums/showthre...threadid=90977

Posted this a couple weeks ago

[BorderEevilIII]

Originally posted by deftdelivery
http://www.joblo.com/forums/showthre...threadid=90977

Posted this a couple weeks ago

May be the same topic but I was aiming MORE for stuff ya normally dont see when goin to the movies like ppl sneakin in milk, ppl having a quickie in the dark

[Nachokoolaid]

Originally posted by Badbird
True story:

It was the summer of 1999 and everyone was excited for this movie called The Blair Witch Project. The hype had built up so much, many theaters offered a Midnight preview, something that had become uncommon.

It was sold out everywhere. The last place that had tickets was the AMC Olathe 30 for a 12:15 AM screening. We get there fairly early, but the place was already packed with activity. I had never been to a midnight movie before, and seeing a crowded theater at midnight was pretty cool. Plus there were no screaming kids.

It's playing in the biggest theater there, seating around 600. My partner and I grab our usual seats: very back row, center. The theater proceeds to fill up as time grows near.

We notice some high school kids in the row in front of us. There's about six or eight of them. They had obviously come together and were friends. Then I notice one of them has a gallon of milk...

A gallon. Of milk.

How he snuck in a gallon of milk in the middle of the summer is beyond me.

My first reaction to it was "He snuck in alcohol." But then I realize this is ludicrous. Alcohol? In a gallon of milk? At the same time I'm thinking this, a couple of teenage girls sitting next to him see the same thing, and the conversation goes something like this:

Girl: "Why do you have a gallon of milk?"

Guy: "We were at a gas station before coming over and I wanted some milk. My friends made a bet that I couldn't finish this gallon before the movie started."

Girl: "Can you do that?"

Guy: "I've done it before. And I haven't had anything to eat today, so I know I can do it."

Girl: "What do you win if you finish it?"

Guy: "They pay for the milk."

Girl: "What kind of contest is that?"

Guy: "That's just it. The whole idea is just stupid and ridiculous, that's why we're doing it."

Girl: "Okay" (giggles)

Time draws near. It's almost showtime and the kid still has a lot of milk left. Finally, one of his friends says "Dude, there's no way you can finish that."

Guy: (exaggerating greatly): "You don't think I can do it?! Huh?! Huh?! Oh, I'll do it!"

And he stands up and starts chugging the gallon of milk.

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" His friends shout. Soon this draws the attention of the whole theater. 600 people turn around to see what's going on, then they join in the chant.

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"

But he can't finish it.

"Aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" Says the theater.

"I have five minutes!" The guy says, still standing. "I just need to let my stomach settle for a second." He pats his stomach, with roughly two inches of milk left in the container.

After a couple minutes, he goes again.

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" Says the crowd. And then he finishes.

"YYYYYaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!"

He pulls down the jug and I see his face. His skin is flushed red. His eyes are bloodshot and watering. He looks like hell. I can hear his stomach rumbling from three feet away.

Guy's Friend: "Dude, are you okay?"

The guy can't talk. He just shakes his head and let's out a guttural "Uh-uh..."

Then it happens. His stomach rumbles some more. Then I hear - I fucking hear - the milk rush from his stomach up his esophagus. It was this horrible, muted "roar-ooooosh!" sound. I fucking hear it.

He quickly covers his mouth and a blast of milk-puke comes out. He runs for the aisle and the row of people runs away screaming, but it's no use.

He pukes up an entire gallon of milk all over the row of seats.

I want you to think about that for a second.

An entire gallon.

Theater patrons flee in terror. Those with easily upset stomachs shield their eyes out of fear of seeing the milk-puke that they too might puke. And within a matter of seconds, the bright theater cleaning lights come on.

A minute later, one lonely usher makes his way up the long flight of stairs with a pan and broom in one hand, and a package of sawdust in the other. I can see the look on his face, a mixture of dread and fear. Fear of the puke. He climbs up there at last, takes a look at the mess at hand, and hangs his head in despair and shame.

Pity the man who must clean up milk-puke at midnight.

I made my way to the lobby to make sure the milk-toting bandit and his friends were kicked out, only to find a swarm of angry customers surrounding a manager.

The same morons who just moments earlier were shouting "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" now wanted to complain about said chugging.

"How did he get in a gallon of milk?" Asked one man.

That's what I wanted to know.

"Oh, I don't think there was milk in it," said the manager, quickly shifting the conversation away from poor theater management to teenage kid tomfoolery.

I felt like explaining what I had seen, but the natives were restless, and I didn't care anymore. If you don't want stupid people doing stupid things, don't encourage them.

My faith in humanity lost, I returned to my seat. It was summer time. It was hot outside. And with 600 people crowding the room, it was hot inside as well. And there was a gallon of milk-puke in the row before me.

Amazingly, the puke missed the seats, so the cleanup was relatively routine. The back row now decontaminated, the patrons returned to their seats. Good for them, because since it was a sell out, there were no other seats available at all.

Finally, the lights went down, the previews came on...



Then I saw the craziest/stupidest thing I had ever seen in a theater: The Blair Witch Project

The payoff to this long story definitely paid off. Great story. As for me, I have no crazy ass stories from the theatre.

[Cronos]

the only crazy thing i can thing of that ive seen at a theatre was when i went to see Ghosts Of Mars, most of the seats were either covered in food, vomit or had partly been melted in places

i found a clean seat, then after about 15 minutes some guys came in and sat at the back of the cinema, after another 20 minutes one got out a game boy or something and started playing a game for 10-15 minutes

[Weapon X]

I was working at an independent theater between mid-2000 and early 2004. After a showing of "Cats & Dogs" let out, a customer asked to speak to a manager. Apparently the guy's son was making so much noise during the movie that another customer got up, walked over, told the kid to shut up, and threw something at him (it was never established what it was). Steve (the manager) tried to mediate the argument until Guy A demanded that the police be called. When they arrived, they forced an apology out of Guy B.

So yeah, the police were called to a movie theater because one man couldn't control his kid and another didn't have the patience to endure noise in a children's movie.

[ComeNightfall]

Hmm, let's see:

A woman knitting

People chowing down on KFC and Dominos in full view of everyone

Guys playing Game Boys

[Misanthrope]

Originally posted by Weapon X
I was working at an independent theater between mid-2000 and early 2004. After a showing of "Cats & Dogs" let out, a customer asked to speak to a manager. Apparently the guy's son was making so much noise during the movie that another customer got up, walked over, told the kid to shut up, and threw something at him (it was never established what it was). Steve (the manager) tried to mediate the argument until Guy A demanded that the police be called. When they arrived, they forced an apology out of Guy B.

So yeah, the police were called to a movie theater because one man couldn't control his kid and another didn't have the patience to endure noise in a children's movie.

The world is sad when Guy A doesnt gets his fucking beasts take away from him and assraped in jail.

[bankholdup]

Well, this one couple came up a few days ago. The lady wanted to see Star Wars, while the guy wanted to see "The Animal Show" (aka Madagascar). They argued, etc. I tried to get them to see Madagascar, since it would get out earlier, which means I would, too, since no one else came to Star Wars. Anyway, they went back to the car, only the woman locked the guy out, and started pulling away. Naturally, we're nearly dying of laughter. Eventually, they come back up, I ask if they will be seeing "The Animal Show" or "The Robot Show". They settle with Star Wars...and, so, I made fun of the guy, since his woman got his way. It's fun working at a movie theater.

[BorderEevilIII]

Originally posted by ComeNightfall

People chowing down on KFC and Dominos in full view of everyone

The theater workers must really not care. I can see they want the business but ppl leaving their shit (wrappers, food mess, what have nots) they could do w/o... When I was waiting for Missing in Action w/ Chuck Norris come on I saw this couple no shame having a picnic....

[Country1969]

We took our son and his friend to see Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events a few months back. We had 2 free tickets for the kids. His mother asked if we needed money for her son to buy something to eat and drink. My wife saids no, we invited him so we will buy. We get there and my son (5/12 years) gets his drink and popcorn with my wife. His friend doesn't want anything. The movie just starts yells over to me and says, "I'm hungry." I said why didnt you get the food before sitting down. He asks me for a few dollars for a drink and candy. He goes (only 5 1/2 years old also) out of the theater. I uell at my wife to go with him. She just sits there and looks at me. He comes back with no change. He opens is candy and BOOM! all over the candy goes. Now I am getting frustrated. My wife whispers he needs more money for more candy. I give her a mean look. Gave him a few more dollars,
Once again he comes back and I told my wife to open the candy for him.

The craziest/ stupidest thing was it wouyld have been cheaper just to take my wife and son, using only 1 free children's ticket than using 2 free tickets and paying up the ass for drinks, popcorn, candy and admission. I told my wife , never again am I taking someone else's kid to the movies.

[PsycoPat]

While buying out tickets to see Collateral there was an Asian chick w/ her boyfriend who dressed and looked damn near EXACTLY like Paris Hilton.

Hair, Dress, make up and

Wait for it...

A little dog in her purse (yes she brought a little dog to a movie)...

I'll give her credit, she nailed the look, I have no idea why someone would want to do that though...

[TheGodSon]

some freaks snorting coke (no, not coca-cola... cocaine) a couple seats over when I saw the last samurai a little back. that was interesting.

[Briare Rabbit]

Well, not that crazy but when I went to Kingdom of Heaven a few days ago, someone forgot to turn off the sound for the commercials and turn on the sound for the film. As a result, the commercials and the trailers synched up.

Commercials for Money Tree, Future Shop and Body Wash synching up almost identically with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Fantastic Four and Cinderella Man does not bode well with me.

[someguy]

Originally posted by Briare Rabbit
Well, not that crazy but when I went to Kingdom of Heaven a few days ago, someone forgot to turn off the sound for the commercials and turn on the sound for the film. As a result, the commercials and the trailers synched up.

Commercials for Money Tree, Future Shop and Body Wash synching up almost identically with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Fantastic Four and Cinderella Man does not bode well with me.

DUDE THAT'S THE CRAZIEST STORY I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!

Here's two non-crazy stories for you

For me, when I went to see Hide and Seek these two couples went at it right behind me and my friend. I mean full on making out, some feeling up. Would have gone further, but I think they realized it was a sold out showing and assumed they would get some attention for it.

In Boogeyman I was told to shut up because I was talking. It was understandable though, since that's the only movie that was so terrible I talked through it. I do feel guilty for talking though. That's not the story though, in the showing me and my friend chatted with these 3 or 4 girls and while watching the movie there was an 'intense' scene and one of them went BLARGH out loud in the theatre. It became a wave of screams, where a small group screamed and then another from them and so on. So there was this 10 second wave of constant screaming. Audience had a huge laugh, person tried to do it again and someone called them a fucking asshole, fun was had by all.

[eljefe15]

The craziest thing I saw in the movie theater was when I went to see the movie TROY, starring Brad Pitt. My friend and I were the only ones who walked out. Everyone else sat and watched that piece of shit!

Alrato!

[morricone]

It's not crazy things I've seen, it's the unpleasant things I've done. There have been countless times when I had to urinate, and I didn't want to miss anything, I just went to the front of the theater, unzipped my pants and turned to the side, and urinated into a cup. There, I've shared one of my unpleasant secrets with you, there's one more that involves a condom that I won't get into right now....

[BubbaStrangelove]

[Brando @$$ Fat]

When I went to see The Aviator, I remember some asshole answering his cell phone and telling his woman friend that he couldn't wait to get home and "make love" to her. Now THAT was weird.

That and being the only person in the theater when I went to see Malibu's Most Wanted....oh wait....that was expected.

[morricone]

Originally posted by Brando @$$ Fat

That and being the only person in the theater when I went to see Malibu's Most Wanted....oh wait....that was expected.

ZING!

[Jas]

I went to a preview of Mr. & Mrs. Smith last night, and two seats to the right of me, one row down, was sitting an overweight girl (We're talking 8 years old here) with her overweight mother. I notice the little girl eating way too much candy way too fast. She moves on to her popcorn bag, and after a while, sweart to God, she pukes into her popcorn bag.
They didn't even go to the bathroom to clean her up, no no, they wait until AFTER the movie (This was at the start of the second half) to clean up the mess....

P.S: The movie was great fun

[EvilDeadGirl]

Went to see Revenge of the Sith and some couple brings their infant. I'm talkin' still real lil. So as the end credits start to roll I see this kid flying in the air as the parent is tossing em. Ya know, do that shit at home in a safer environment and not in the fuckin' theatre. I hate people.

[LoomisFan]

Originally posted by EvilDeadGirl
Went to see Revenge of the Sith and some couple brings their infant. I'm talkin' still real lil. So as the end credits start to roll I see this kid flying in the air as the parent is tossing em. Ya know, do that shit at home in a safer environment and not in the fuckin' theatre. I hate people.

"Fly, Blanket! Fly up into space! Wheee!"

[heavymetalsanta]

When I went to see Revenge of the Sith with some friends we sat behind this guy who was there with his girlfriend. All throughout the movie he kept talking about the movie quietly with his girlfriend, revealing important plot twists about 30 minutes before it happened. At some points he even yelled things out, like when Anikan said "If you're not with me...", he screamed out "Then you're against me!" Then when Anikan and Obi-wan were fighting he kept yelling "Kill him... kill him!" and finally "Kill him, he's gonna come back anyways!!!" It would have been even more annoying if he didn't sound so funny saying it (think Boston Rob from Survivor with a slight lisp). Also, as we were leaving, two kids whipped out lightsabers and started fighting in the parking lot.