Sequel / Prequel Ideas Hollywood Has Missed Out On.

[sezperai]

Okay,

All of us here know that hollywood has lost almost every stitch of creative thought that it ever had and has resorted to making crappy sequels and crappy remakes to some movies that sucked in the first place.

Well, being the movie lover that I am, I decided to help Hollywood out a bit and throw out some ideas for them.

1. Jaws: The Beginning - In this PREQUEL we see a young, but happy, Great White Shark's life go to hell when it's mother is killed by the heartless father of Martin Brody of the eastern coast of New York while he is out for a night of drinking and debauchery on the Atlantic with his fellow police officers. This leaves our hero shark to grow up alone and face the harshness of ocean life, while forever vowing revenge upon the Brody family for costing it it's mother and turning it to a life of homosexuality and alcoholism.

2. Coming to America Part 2: Pedro in Atlanta. - In this "much needed" SEQUEL. We follow the wacky adventures of a young Pedro Morales as he and his friend Jorge sneak across the border in search of a green card and love, only to end up in Atlanta, Georgia amongst a slew of well-to-do and quirky African Americans. We follow Pedro in his pursuit and get to witness his heart wrenching love affair with the Blonde Haired/ Blue Eyed Jessica from Marietta who has to keep their love a secret from her hispanic-biased (and VERY conservative) mother.

3. Friday the 13th Part 11: Jason's Anger Management - In this highly anticipated SEQUEL, we pick up just as Jason has been captured AGAIN by the U.S. Military and has been forced to take anger management classes with the country's foremost expert on human psychology, Dr. James Rothenstein. We witness the gradual breakdown of Jason as Dr. Rothenstein gradually breaks down Jason's wall and discovers that his desire to kill is fueled by his hidden desire for a sexual relationship with his dead mother. This tear jerker concludes with Jason crying to he world, "BUT I JUST WANTED HER TO LOVE ME!!!!!!"

4. The Lost Boys: Trouble in Paradise - In this sequel, we follow the adventures of young TImothy Hayes, a young man who has to cope with being a 15 year old closeted homosexual in his new home of San Francisco, California. Just as it seems things will only get worse for him, he meets a group of Young Men in a local bathhouse who then invite him into their group. Little does he know, this group of young "men" are really POST - OP transexuals with a penchant for wreaking havoc upon those they see as "traitors to the movement" for remaining in the closet. Timothy's new found net of happiness quickly falls out from under him as he finds himself thrust into the torturous game of high school ridicule and vile acts of peer pressure.

5. The People Under the Stairs 2: Terrance's Trouble with Tracy - 22 year old Terrance Wallace finds out that his has gotten his 13 year old girlfriend Tracy pregnant. Upon hearing the news, he retreats to his basement apartment where he spends his days "under the stairs" smoking crack and trying to figure out a solution to his problem before the police find out about his affair with a 13 year old girl. We experience 30 days in the life of Terrance during his inner struggle between doing the right thing or doing the unthinkable to Tracy in order to save his own ass.



a note: PLEASE understand that the above is meant ONLY as a joke and they are MEANT to sound horrible and ridiculous. However, I'm just making a point on the state of Hollywood today. Go back and reread those above stories of absurdity and think about it, Hollywood has already done much worse (you DID see Brokeback Mountain and Malibu's Most Wanted correct??). Don't be surprised if you see one of those 5 pieces of shit (or something similar) being made sometime soon.



Take it easy,
Jasn

[AWP82]

Originally posted by sezperai
3. Friday the 13th Part 11: Jason's Anger Management - In this highly anticipated SEQUEL, we pick up just as Jason has been captured AGAIN by the U.S. Military and has been forced to take anger management classes with the country's foremost expert on human psychology, Dr. James Rothenstein. We witness the gradual breakdown of Jason as Dr. Rothenstein gradually breaks down Jason's wall and discovers that his desire to kill is fueled by his hidden desire for a sexual relationship with his dead mother. This tear jerker concludes with Jason crying to he world, "BUT I JUST WANTED HER TO LOVE ME!!!!!!"

5. The People Under the Stairs 2: Terrance's Trouble with Tracy - 22 year old Terrance Wallace finds out that his has gotten his 13 year old girlfriend Tracy pregnant. Upon hearing the news, he retreats to his basement apartment where he spends his days "under the stairs" smoking crack and trying to figure out a solution to his problem before the police find out about his affair with a 13 year old girl. We experience 30 days in the life of Terrance during his inner struggle between doing the right thing or doing the unthinkable to Tracy in order to save his own ass.

I'd pay to see those. Seriously.

[Danger^Cart]

Originally posted by sezperai
The People Under the Stairs 2: Terrance's Trouble with Tracy - 22 year old Terrance Wallace finds out that his has gotten his 13 year old girlfriend Tracy pregnant. Upon hearing the news, he retreats to his basement apartment where he spends his days "under the stairs" smoking crack and trying to figure out a solution to his problem before the police find out about his affair with a 13 year old girl. We experience 30 days in the life of Terrance during his inner struggle between doing the right thing or doing the unthinkable to Tracy in order to save his own ass.

That sounds fantastic. I'd recommend Depp for Terrance.

[The Heart Collector]

This thread has infected me with AIDS.

[Mr-Blonde]

pretty fuckin hilarious

[sezperai]

haha thanx for the feeback guys

but paying for that garbage is what keeps hollywood going hahahah



i'll post more later...i've got about 100 more floating around up there in my brain


jasn

[bigred760]

Originally posted by sezperai
1. Jaws: The Beginning - In this PREQUEL we see a young, but happy, Great White Shark's life go to hell when it's mother is killed by the heartless father of Martin Brody of the eastern coast of New York while he is out for a night of drinking and debauchery on the Atlantic with his fellow police officers. This leaves our hero shark to grow up alone and face the harshness of ocean life, while forever vowing revenge upon the Brody family for costing it it's mother and turning it to a life of homosexuality and alcoholism.

This kinda sounds like the movie Orca with Richard Harris, but it's with sharks (hence "Orca") and the kid whale is killed and the mother takes revenge. Other than that, all for it.

[lunatic]

Originally posted by sezperai
Okay,

All of us here know that hollywood has lost almost every stitch of creative thought that it ever had and has resorted to making crappy sequels and crappy remakes to some movies that sucked in the first place.

Well, being the movie lover that I am, I decided to help Hollywood out a bit and throw out some ideas for them.

1. Jaws: The Beginning - In this PREQUEL we see a young, but happy, Great White Shark's life go to hell when it's mother is killed by the heartless father of Martin Brody of the eastern coast of New York while he is out for a night of drinking and debauchery on the Atlantic with his fellow police officers. This leaves our hero shark to grow up alone and face the harshness of ocean life, while forever vowing revenge upon the Brody family for costing it it's mother and turning it to a life of homosexuality and alcoholism.

2. Coming to America Part 2: Pedro in Atlanta. - In this "much needed" SEQUEL. We follow the wacky adventures of a young Pedro Morales as he and his friend Jorge sneak across the border in search of a green card and love, only to end up in Atlanta, Georgia amongst a slew of well-to-do and quirky African Americans. We follow Pedro in his pursuit and get to witness his heart wrenching love affair with the Blonde Haired/ Blue Eyed Jessica from Marietta who has to keep their love a secret from her hispanic-biased (and VERY conservative) mother.

3. Friday the 13th Part 11: Jason's Anger Management - In this highly anticipated SEQUEL, we pick up just as Jason has been captured AGAIN by the U.S. Military and has been forced to take anger management classes with the country's foremost expert on human psychology, Dr. James Rothenstein. We witness the gradual breakdown of Jason as Dr. Rothenstein gradually breaks down Jason's wall and discovers that his desire to kill is fueled by his hidden desire for a sexual relationship with his dead mother. This tear jerker concludes with Jason crying to he world, "BUT I JUST WANTED HER TO LOVE ME!!!!!!"

4. The Lost Boys: Trouble in Paradise - In this sequel, we follow the adventures of young TImothy Hayes, a young man who has to cope with being a 15 year old closeted homosexual in his new home of San Francisco, California. Just as it seems things will only get worse for him, he meets a group of Young Men in a local bathhouse who then invite him into their group. Little does he know, this group of young "men" are really POST - OP transexuals with a penchant for wreaking havoc upon those they see as "traitors to the movement" for remaining in the closet. Timothy's new found net of happiness quickly falls out from under him as he finds himself thrust into the torturous game of high school ridicule and vile acts of peer pressure.

5. The People Under the Stairs 2: Terrance's Trouble with Tracy - 22 year old Terrance Wallace finds out that his has gotten his 13 year old girlfriend Tracy pregnant. Upon hearing the news, he retreats to his basement apartment where he spends his days "under the stairs" smoking crack and trying to figure out a solution to his problem before the police find out about his affair with a 13 year old girl. We experience 30 days in the life of Terrance during his inner struggle between doing the right thing or doing the unthinkable to Tracy in order to save his own ass.



a note: PLEASE understand that the above is meant ONLY as a joke and they are MEANT to sound horrible and ridiculous. However, I'm just making a point on the state of Hollywood today. Go back and reread those above stories of absurdity and think about it, Hollywood has already done much worse (you DID see Brokeback Mountain and Malibu's Most Wanted correct??). Don't be surprised if you see one of those 5 pieces of shit (or something similar) being made sometime soon.



Take it easy,
Jasn

Dr. James Rothenstein? Jewish again? Hell, no! Make him Hungarian or Peruvian for a change.

[XCoRyX]

atleast your not serious.