#1  
Old 08-31-2009, 02:48 AM
The Official JoBlo Neverending Story

You've probably seen this in other forums if you've visited them. Pretty much I'm going to start off the story, leave it at an ambiguous point, and the next person continues. It's that simple. Have fun!

It started off as a typical day in the life of john_rambo. He woke up, kicked the hooker out of his apartment, did his 5 mile jog, did 500 pushups, 500 situps, and ate a dozen raw eggs. This typical day, however, became far less typical when he left his apartment. As soon as he stepped outside the door...
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  #2  
Old 08-31-2009, 04:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_rambo View Post
You've probably seen this in other forums if you've visited them. Pretty much I'm going to start off the story, leave it at an ambiguous point, and the next person continues. It's that simple. Have fun!

It started off as a typical day in the life of john_rambo. He woke up, kicked the hooker out of his apartment, did his 5 mile jog, did 500 pushups, 500 situps, and ate a dozen raw eggs. This typical day, however, became far less typical when he left his apartment. As soon as he stepped outside the door...
He moonwalks down the hall and to the front door of the building. As soon as he does he sees something awful. His street is full of clowns. One spots him and rushes forward with a hungry look on its face. john_rambo yelps and runs back inside.

Last edited by Tweek; 08-31-2009 at 04:07 AM..
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  #3  
Old 08-31-2009, 04:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweek View Post
He moonwalks down the hall and to the front door of the building. As soon as he does he sees something awful. His street is full of clowns. One spots him and rushes forward with a hungry look on its face. john_rambo yelps and runs back inside.
In his haste,, however, he enters the wrong apartment and finds himself face to face with his neighbour. She stands up quickly, startled by his sudden appearance in her apartment, and covers her mouth to contain a small yelp of surprise. Silence. A small smile spreads across her lips. She lets her robe slip open. john_rambo looks down and immediately sees....
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  #4  
Old 08-31-2009, 06:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reigh Kaufman View Post
In his haste,, however, he enters the wrong apartment and finds himself face to face with his neighbour. She stands up quickly, startled by his sudden appearance in her apartment, and covers her mouth to contain a small yelp of surprise. Silence. A small smile spreads across her lips. She lets her robe slip open. john_rambo looks down and immediately sees....
...That she is not female, neither male. Infact she is a Extraterrestrial being who explains to him that she has been sent from the planet Keeta to research the earths activities. She say that her kind are planning...
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  #5  
Old 08-31-2009, 07:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
...That she is not female, neither male. Infact she is a Extraterrestrial being who explains to him that she has been sent from the planet Keeta to research the earths activities. She say that her kind are planning...
...to anally probe any males that fall into the "Honey-trap", which, the creature explains, is a machine that widens the man's bum for deep, intrusive investigation.
There is a moment of prolonged silence.
Suddenly a device falls from the ceiling of the apartment and unfolds to reveal a speculum, a magnifying glass and a pair of Mickey Mouse novelty gloves that open and close as though they are miming how to open a book. A book made of john_rambo's BUM...
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  #6  
Old 08-31-2009, 10:16 AM

...the end.
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  #7  
Old 08-31-2009, 11:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinigami View Post
...the end.

... was near for the Alien chick however. When she tried to get up close and personal with john_rambo, he sprung into action. After a quadruple backflip to break loose of the trap, he said "Go Go Gadget Shotgun!" And blasted that Alien broad in the face. She died immediately. Yes, he never let anyone know, but john_rambo was part human, part Inspector Gadget. After he killed the Alien, he left the room, and immediately...
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  #8  
Old 08-31-2009, 11:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_rambo View Post
... was near for the Alien chick however. When she tried to get up close and personal with john_rambo, he sprung into action. After a quadruple backflip to break loose of the trap, he said "Go Go Gadget Shotgun!" And blasted that Alien broad in the face. She died immediately. Yes, he never let anyone know, but john_rambo was part human, part Inspector Gadget. After he killed the Alien, he left the room, and immediately...

Stepped back outside into the cold night, john_rambo noticed a faint red light in the night sky. He marveled at it's splendor as it seemed to be getting closer and closer. The red light raced toward him with the speed of a bullet and the next thing he knew he was waking up in...
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  #9  
Old 08-31-2009, 11:59 AM
...the studio, ready to remake Rob Zombie's Halloween 2. Not the original Halloween, nor its sequel. Not even a sequel of the original. No, Rob Zombie movie. It was because of his recent zombie experience that he was ale to so successfully market it as well. It also had an awesome title: Zombie Halloween. He went down to the corner to see his amazing title on the marque. That was where he saw her. She had a smile stretched twice as wide as her...
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  #10  
Old 08-31-2009, 12:02 PM
edit ; bubba was quicker
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  #11  
Old 08-31-2009, 12:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbaStrangelove View Post
...the studio, ready to remake Rob Zombie's Halloween 2. Not the original Halloween, nor its sequel. Not even a sequel of the original. No, Rob Zombie movie. It was because of his recent zombie experience that he was ale to so successfully market it as well. It also had an awesome title: Zombie Halloween. He went down to the corner to see his amazing title on the marque. That was where he saw her. She had a smile stretched twice as wide as her...
...8 legs, she was a arachnid lady. He immediatly fell in love with her. They spoke for a little while, she warned him that she killed anything that she had sex with. John_Rambo didn't flinch, he knew in his mind he could take this bitch down, suddenly a HUGE sounds came from below their feet, and out of the ground exploded a man wearing some white underpants and...
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  #12  
Old 08-31-2009, 12:38 PM
EDIT: Screw you heisenburg, now instead of hooking up with Rosario Dawson I'm with a spider lady .
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  #13  
Old 08-31-2009, 12:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
...8 legs, she was a arachnid lady. He immediatly fell in love with her. They spoke for a little while, she warned him that she killed anything that she had sex with. John_Rambo didn't flinch, he knew in his mind he could take this bitch down, suddenly a HUGE sounds came from below their feet, and out of the ground exploded a man wearing some white underpants and...
surrounded by at least 35 supermodels. Not the anorexic kind, but the borderline porn star kind. This meant it could only be one person. JoBlo himself. After killing the spider lady, he approached john_rambo. "I've been a fan of your work for a long time. How would you like to join my crew?" john_rambo immediately accepted. "But, there is a catch, to join you must...
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  #14  
Old 08-31-2009, 12:46 PM
wear a tutu and skip everywhere that you go." john_rambo agreed to these conditions. He was given a lavendar tutu that was most becoming of him. Afterward, JoBlo and john_rambo...
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  #15  
Old 08-31-2009, 12:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweek View Post
wear a tutu and skip everywhere that you go." john_rambo agreed to these conditions. He was given a lavendar tutu that was most becoming of him. Afterward, JoBlo and john_rambo...
laughed off the hilarious joke Joblo played on john_rambo by telling him to wear a tutu, then went to the secret JoBlo crew headquarters located behind the Hollywood sign. There, john_rambo met the crew, consisting of...
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  #16  
Old 08-31-2009, 01:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_rambo View Post
laughed off the hilarious joke Joblo played on john_rambo by telling him to wear a tutu, then went to the secret JoBlo crew headquarters located behind the Hollywood sign. There, john_rambo met the crew, consisting of...
Bobo the Chicken, Dave, Screech from Saved by the Bell and Joblo's right hand man, Bubbles. John_Rambo was given his job, something he didn't want to do but he sacrificed his preferences for the good of joblo. The job he was given...
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  #17  
Old 08-31-2009, 01:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
Bobo the Chicken, Dave, Screech from Saved by the Bell and Joblo's right hand man, Bubbles. John_Rambo was given his job, something he didn't want to do but he sacrificed his preferences for the good of joblo. The job he was given...
Was color correct all copies of Screech's amateur sex tape. He worked hard in the editing room, digitally altering the brightness and contrast of each cringe-inducing scene. He paused a frame that caught his eye, he zoomed in 200% and gasped at what he saw...
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  #18  
Old 08-31-2009, 04:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveyJoeG View Post
Was color correct all copies of Screech's amateur sex tape. He worked hard in the editing room, digitally altering the brightness and contrast of each cringe-inducing scene. He paused a frame that caught his eye, he zoomed in 200% and gasped at what he saw...
it was the answer to an age old question that many had died trying to figure out. What was in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction? john_rambo had to go tell JoBlo about his finding, but then the door was kicked in and who else was standing there but Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta. Samuel L Jackson looked at john_rambo, and said....
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  #19  
Old 08-31-2009, 04:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_rambo View Post
it was the answer to an age old question that many had died trying to figure out. What was in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction? john_rambo had to go tell JoBlo about his finding, but then the door was kicked in and who else was standing there but Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta. Samuel L Jackson looked at john_rambo, and said....

..."Mother fucker!" And Sam Jackson was right...
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  #20  
Old 08-31-2009, 04:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbaStrangelove View Post
..."Mother fucker!" And Sam Jackson was right...
... because john_rambo seemed to fuck EVERYBODY's mother...
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  #21  
Old 08-31-2009, 05:14 PM
except for FLAME_ON's... You see, FLAME_ON and john_rambo go way back; back to when they were both 7 years old and decided to underscore the space between their names.
But the reason john_rambo never fucked FLAME_ON's mother is because he fucked john_rambo's first, and to make sure john could never fuck his mother, FLAME_ON...

Last edited by FLAME_ON; 08-31-2009 at 05:17 PM..
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  #22  
Old 08-31-2009, 05:15 PM
EDIT> flame on was faster
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  #23  
Old 08-31-2009, 05:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FLAME_ON View Post
except for FLAME_ON's... You see, FLAME_ON and john_rambo go way back; back to when they were both 7 years old and decided underscore the space between their names.
But the reason john_rambo never fucked FLAME_ON's mother is because he fucked john_rambo's first, and to make sure john could never fuck his mother, FLAME_ON...
...fucked his own mother, yes...that's how fucking hardcore these guys were...While commiting this incest crime he injected a serum into his mother, which prevented her from ever having intercoarse again. Cause it made her fanny grow teeth. Then out of the smoke cloud emerges a dark figure, and that dark figure was infact the legendary Heisenberg...
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  #24  
Old 08-31-2009, 05:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
...fucked his own mother, yes...that's how fucking hardcore these guys were...While commiting this incest crime he injected a serum into his mother, which prevented her from ever having intercoarse again. Cause it made her fanny grow teeth. Then out of the smoke cloud emerges a dark figure, and that dark figure was infact the legendary Heisenberg...
...the notorious molester of children's pets and tickler of the undersized testicles of dwarves. He wiped a snot-bubble from his face, for he was but a child, and wore mittens, too, like a small Chinese orphan that has been adopted and brought to the West and made to look cute by his barren adoptive parents, and he had a bra on his head to cover his massive...
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  #25  
Old 08-31-2009, 05:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reigh Kaufman View Post
...the notorious molester of children's pets and tickler of the undersized testicles of dwarves. He wiped a snot-bubble from his face, for he was but a child, and wore mittens, too, like a small Chinese orphan that has been adopted and brought to the West and made to look cute by his barren adoptive parents, and he had a bra on his head to cover his massive...
Skull breasts. It was an embarrassing and extremely rare condition, but one he shamefully enjoyed during shower time. Flame_Ons mother was amazed by Heisenberg's beautiful skull breasts and buried her face in his head cleavage. Flame_On remarked...
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  #26  
Old 08-31-2009, 06:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveyJoeG View Post
Skull breasts. It was an embarrassing and extremely rare condition, but one he shamefully enjoyed during shower time. Flame_Ons mother was amazed by Heisenberg's beautiful skull breasts and buried her face in his head cleavage. Flame_On remarked...
..."i'm unusually turned one by this" "WHAT??" asked John_rambo? FLAME_ON realised that he had been day dreaming the whole time. Apart from the sex with his own mother thing, that really did happen.
Again, but this time in reality, from the shadows stepped Heisenberg, he was so awesome he was glowing, John_rambo and FLAME_ON couldn't help but open their mouths in awe. Heisenberg walk towards them, still glowing and said...
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  #27  
Old 08-31-2009, 06:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
..."i'm unusually turned one by this" "WHAT??" asked John_rambo? FLAME_ON realised that he had been day dreaming the whole time. Apart from the sex with his own mother thing, that really did happen.
Again, but this time in reality, from the shadows stepped Heisenberg, he was so awesome he was glowing, John_rambo and FLAME_ON couldn't help but open their mouths in awe. Heisenberg walk towards them, still glowing and said...
...do you guys happen to know what a "spit-roast" is? FLAME_ON looked at john_rambo incredulously. They both nodded. Heisenberg put his hands on his hips and said...
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  #28  
Old 08-31-2009, 06:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reigh Kaufman View Post
...do you guys happen to know what a "spit-roast" is? FLAME_ON looked at john_rambo incredulously. They both nodded. Heisenberg put his hands on his hips and said...
..."well you guys better get there, they are all waiting for you. Camera crews and everything" Heisenberg laughed as both John-rambo and FLAME_ON held their heads in shame. BOOM!!! a massive explosion shattered the windows and blew apart the walls, rambo and flame both ran for cover but Heisenberg stood tall as he wasn't a pansy girl. The floor began to shake, like thunder had erupted in the room. there were heavy footsteps hammering towards Heisenberg, and to his horror, there standing taller than he ever could was the ever awesome Terry Crews...
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  #29  
Old 08-31-2009, 06:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
..."well you guys better get there, they are all waiting for you. Camera crews and everything" Heisenberg laughed as both John-rambo and FLAME_ON held their heads in shame. BOOM!!! a massive explosion shattered the windows and blew apart the walls, rambo and flame both ran for cover but Heisenberg stood tall as he wasn't a pansy girl. The floor began to shake, like thunder had erupted in the room. there were heavy footsteps hammering towards Heisenberg, and to his horror, there standing taller than he ever could was the ever awesome Terry Crews...
..."I'm here for the spit-roast," he said, dusting himself down. "And the fluffer", he added ominously, "had better be good. I'm shit out of vaseline". Heisenberg faltered for a second..."I'm the f-f-f-fluffer, Mr Crews", he managed to stammer. Terry Crews looked down upon the bemittened figure of Heisenberg. "What are you, a Chinese orphan?", he asked. "And where did you get them silly Skull Breasts, you snot-bubbling mofo?". Crews was clearly...
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  #30  
Old 08-31-2009, 10:31 PM
on to something, so BFF's john_rambo (who had secretly been fucking FLAME_ON's mother for years) and FLAME_ON tied up heisenberg, and tortured him/her until they admitted that the skull breasts were fake. Angered by this revelation FLAME_ON grabbed Heisenberg by the neck and..
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  #31  
Old 08-31-2009, 11:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_rambo View Post
on to something, so BFF's john_rambo (who had secretly been fucking FLAME_ON's mother for years) and FLAME_ON tied up heisenberg, and tortured him/her until they admitted that the skull breasts were fake. Angered by this revelation FLAME_ON grabbed Heisenberg by the neck and..
Gently massaged his throat glands. "My god," exclaimed FLAME_ON. "This man is sick, he needs to go into surgery immediately!" Luckily john_rambo was a skilled surgeon. He knocked Heisenberg out with the vulcan death grip and laid him out on the craft services table. Terry Crewes leaned in and said "Hurry up and get this man fixed, I need my fluffer in good working order. What's wrong with him?"

"That's what I intend to find out," answered john_rambo. He grabbed a scalpel and opened up his chest cavity. The men gasped at what they saw inside...
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  #32  
Old 08-31-2009, 11:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveyJoeG View Post
Gently massaged his throat glands. "My god," exclaimed FLAME_ON. "This man is sick, he needs to go into surgery immediately!" Luckily john_rambo was a skilled surgeon. He knocked Heisenberg out with the vulcan death grip and laid him out on the craft services table. Terry Crewes leaned in and said "Hurry up and get this man fixed, I need my fluffer in good working order. What's wrong with him?"

"That's what I intend to find out," answered john_rambo. He grabbed a scalpel and opened up his chest cavity. The men gasped at what they saw inside...
Heisenberg wasn't Heisenberg at all! He was Dave Coulier from Full House. "Hey Rocky!" He exclaimed in his Bullwinkle voice... "Why, Dave Coulier, why did you pretend to be something you are not? Didn't Danny Tanner teach you better." Dave Coulier then burst in to tears. "You see, after Alanis Morisette wrote that damn song about me I was ruined. Nobody would talk to me, even the Olsen Twins disowned me. So I decided I needed a new identity. Thus, Heisenberg was born." Just then Coulier screamed, and they all looked behind the group. It was worse than they expected, it was...
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  #33  
Old 08-31-2009, 11:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_rambo View Post
Heisenberg wasn't Heisenberg at all! He was Dave Coulier from Full House. "Hey Rocky!" He exclaimed in his Bullwinkle voice... "Why, Dave Coulier, why did you pretend to be something you are not? Didn't Danny Tanner teach you better." Dave Coulier then burst in to tears. "You see, after Alanis Morisette wrote that damn song about me I was ruined. Nobody would talk to me, even the Olsen Twins disowned me. So I decided I needed a new identity. Thus, Heisenberg was born." Just then Coulier screamed, and they all looked behind the group. It was worse than they expected, it was...
The ghost of John Stamos' mullet! Morisette contracted the unbalanced hairstyle shortly after Coulier went into hiding as Heisenberg.

"I've been after you a long time Dave..." said Stamos' mullet ghost as a gust of wind blows through.

Coulier pulls out a pair of scissors and snaps them, "And I'm ready."

John Stamos' ghost mullet starts flying towards the group screaming and...

Last edited by FLAME_ON; 09-01-2009 at 12:00 AM..
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  #34  
Old 09-01-2009, 04:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FLAME_ON View Post
The ghost of John Stamos' mullet! Morisette contracted the unbalanced hairstyle shortly after Coulier went into hiding as Heisenberg.

"I've been after you a long time Dave..." said Stamos' mullet ghost as a gust of wind blows through.

Coulier pulls out a pair of scissors and snaps them, "And I'm ready."

John Stamos' ghost mullet starts flying towards the group screaming and...
...then 'SNAP!!' Terry crew took out the mullet with a flying karate kick, they were wrong to think such a kick would end it...John Stamos' ghost mullet pulled out a walkie talkie and called for back up, it was then that three beams of light came down from the skies with three ghostly figures in them...
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  #35  
Old 09-01-2009, 09:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
...then 'SNAP!!' Terry crew took out the mullet with a flying karate kick, they were wrong to think such a kick would end it...John Stamos' ghost mullet pulled out a walkie talkie and called for back up, it was then that three beams of light came down from the skies with three ghostly figures in them...
Ben Savage, Russell Crowe, and BubbaStrangelove...
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  #36  
Old 09-02-2009, 05:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_rambo View Post
Ben Savage, Russell Crowe, and BubbaStrangelove...
All three wore fedoras. BubbaStrangelove's was purple, Crowe's was magenta, and Savage's was lavendar. They all wore matching robes of silk. BubbaStrangelove cleared his throat and said the following...
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  #37  
Old 09-02-2009, 05:04 PM
"Pubes."
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  #38  
Old 09-02-2009, 05:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RicochetShaw View Post
"Pubes."
Everyone nodded in agreement and shared a hearty laugh. The Stamos Mullet yelled, "Enough!"...
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  #39  
Old 09-02-2009, 05:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweek View Post
Everyone nodded in agreement and shared a hearty laugh. The Stamos Mullet yelled, "Enough!"...
Just then, Pubes, Bubba's hilarious talking rabbit companion came out.

"Who the hell are you?" said the mullet.

"Ima Pubes the rabbit!" said the talking bunny in a hilarious Italian accent. The Mullet then laughed so hard, it exploded.

"A watcha ya need, Bubba!"

We've found the chosen one. He pointed to john_rambo, go give him the letter. Pubes pranced over to john_rambo in a humorous fashion and gave him a letter that appeared to be thousands of years old. The three ghostly figures, and pubes then disappeared. john_rambo was shocked to find what was written about his newly acquired postion as the chosen one...

Last edited by john_rambo; 09-02-2009 at 05:25 PM..
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  #40  
Old 09-02-2009, 06:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_rambo View Post
Just then, Pubes, Bubba's hilarious talking rabbit companion came out.

"Who the hell are you?" said the mullet.

"Ima Pubes the rabbit!" said the talking bunny in a hilarious Italian accent. The Mullet then laughed so hard, it exploded.

"A watcha ya need, Bubba!"

We've found the chosen one. He pointed to john_rambo, go give him the letter. Pubes pranced over to john_rambo in a humorous fashion and gave him a letter that appeared to be thousands of years old. The three ghostly figures, and pubes then disappeared. john_rambo was shocked to find what was written about his newly acquired postion as the chosen one...
...He read that he must past three tests. The first test is to steal a frisbee from Cujo the dog, The second was to give oral sex to Roseanne Barr and the third was...
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