#81  
Old 10-01-2009, 03:38 PM
Then john_rambo wielded his frisbee-disk thing from Krull. He knew this might not be the time, but it felt right, so he threw the Krull disk. It traveled in a circle and decapitated the giant Hills monstrosities.

William Motherfuckin' Fichtner, as Godzilla, then let go a long wind of radioactive breathe and set the andriods bodies ablaze. Sadly, Robert Patrick was also caught by the radioactive breathe and melted.

The entire gang looked to William Motherfuckin' Fichtner and exclaimed, "Oh, Fichtner!"

William Motherfuckin' Fichtner shrugged, putting on his dopey Godzilla face.

Worthington approached Riegh afterwards and extended his hand down, "Father!"

Riegh gripped his hand and launched to his feet, "Son!"

... And they embraced.
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  #82  
Old 10-01-2009, 03:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FireCaptain4 View Post
Then john_rambo wielded his frisbee-disk thing from Krull. He knew this might not be the time, but it felt right, so he threw the Krull disk. It traveled in a circle and decapitated the giant Hills monstrosities.

William Motherfuckin' Fichtner, as Godzilla, then let go a long wind of radioactive breathe and set the andriods bodies ablaze. Sadly, Robert Patrick was also caught by the radioactive breathe and melted.

The entire gang looked to William Motherfuckin' Fichtner and exclaimed, "Oh, Fichtner!"

William Motherfuckin' Fichtner shrugged, putting on his dopey face.

Worthington approached Riegh afterwards and extended his hand down, "Father!"

Riegh gripped his hand and launched to his feet, "Son!"

... And they embraced.
Worthington wept like an orphan peeling an onion. 'Father, I bring a message from the one they call Tweek'. He gazed at the impressive and totally manly CGi torso of his father incestuously - for he was, like everyone else, only human.

Reigh nodded for him to continue. His impressive hair was moist in the morning dew, and he had a massive boner from watching a rerun of Kate & Allie.

'She says that BubbaStrangelove...BubbaStrangelove...is...supplyi ng Cusack with pie!'.

There was a gasp. Firstly at how huge Reigh's trouser-snake was. Then the enormity of Worthington's revelation hit them...
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  #83  
Old 10-13-2009, 11:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reigh Kaufman View Post
Worthington wept like an orphan peeling an onion. 'Father, I bring a message from the one they call Tweek'. He gazed at the impressive and totally manly CGi torso of his father incestuously - for he was, like everyone else, only human.

Reigh nodded for him to continue. His impressive hair was moist in the morning dew, and he had a massive boner from watching a rerun of Kate & Allie.

'She says that BubbaStrangelove...BubbaStrangelove...is...supplyi ng Cusack with pie!'.

There was a gasp. Firstly at how huge Reigh's trouser-snake was. Then the enormity of Worthington's revelation hit them...
... but before action could be made upon the devastating statement, a ticking sound emanated from Reigh's custom made capri's (Reigh refused to even wear denims).

FireCaptain4 acted fast and used his pyro skills to carefully burn off Reigh’s bottom garments. john_rambo reacted quickly as well and snatched what appeared to be a massively erect bomb.

Flashback Sequence directed by Darren Lynn Bousman: While the rest of the gang was caught up in the action, FLAME_ON had whispered, “I wish this could get a little more explosive.”
End Flashback sequence.

The heroes looked up at Tweek, who was grinning gleefully. “Be careful what you wish for!”

john_rambo, “Your treachery has come to an end, fiend!”

Tweek: “Well, act! The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest. Luckily, I’m no man!”

john_rambo aimed the bomb at Tweek and gritted his teeth: “Like that matters where you’re going. I wish the evil in your soul to die!”

john_rambo then chunked the bomb and struck down Tweek in a ball of flame and destruction.

Her ashes then hit the ground, but to everyone’s surprise, she then pulled herself together like the Wolf Man in Monster Squad---………………..

--

Oh wait, wait. FireCaptain4 erases the last couple of lines and rewrites them, as he has a better idea.

--

To the crews surprise, the remains of Tweek pulled themselves together and formed a strange, glowing snake creature. It was the soul of Tweek. You see, Cappy stole this plot development from Jason Goes to Hell which stole it’s plot from The Hidden before it.

Samuel L. Jackson exclaimed: “I’ve had with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday Newfoundland!”

So, Tweek slithered up to BubbaStrangelove and jumped down his open mouth until all nine feet of her scaly, glowy self was digested into him.

BubbaStrangelove/Tweek trembled at the knees a bit and then looked at the entire crews with glassy eyes.
FLAME_On approached cautiously and asked what everyone was thinking, “So, Bubba… eh, Tweek? Are… are you good or evil?”

Last edited by FireCaptain4; 10-13-2009 at 11:09 PM..
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  #84  
Old 10-17-2009, 02:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FireCaptain4 View Post
...BubbaStrangelove/Tweek trembled at the knees a bit and then looked at the entire crews with glassy eyes.
FLAME_On approached cautiously and asked what everyone was thinking, “So, Bubba… eh, Tweek? Are… are you good or evil?”
Bubba and Tweek exchanged glances for a few seconds. Smiled at each other. Then Tweek pulls out a Series Four De-Atomizer of her suitcase . . . and Bubba extracts a Noisy Cricket from inside his jacket pocket. They point their weapons at FLAME_On . . .
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  #85  
Old 10-17-2009, 02:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred760 View Post
Bubba and Tweek exchanged glances for a few seconds. Smiled at each other. Then Tweek pulls out a Series Four De-Atomizer of her suitcase . . . and Bubba extracts a Noisy Cricket from inside his jacket pocket. They point their weapons at FLAME_On . . .
whose eyes bugged out of his skull in a cartoonish fashion.

john_rambo ran toward BubbaStrangelove/Tweek in epic slow motion with the song from the end credits of Saw playing in the background. He let out a high-pitched, womanly battle cry.

BubbaStrangelove/Tweek aimed the Series Four De-Atomizer at FLAME_ON and the Noisy Cricket at john_rambo. They said...
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  #86  
Old 10-17-2009, 02:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweek View Post
BubbaStrangelove/Tweek aimed the Series Four De-Atomizer at FLAME_ON and the Noisy Cricket at john_rambo. They said...
"At what point in your life did you lose your testicles as to have such a womanly battle cry?"

In perfect unison.

John_Rambo replied, "My battle cry is in remembrance of the woman I love . . . a woman whose name I cannot remember. But her face I remember . . . because it is a face I wish to forget. For though I love her . . . she proclaimed she did not love me. She told me she loved another. She told me she loved . . . "
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  #87  
Old 10-17-2009, 01:39 PM
William Mothafuckin' Fichtner. But I can't blame her. William Mothafuckin' Fichtner is a sexy piece of man meat. I am not even gay and I totally would do him." said john_rambo. "Awwwwwwwwww" said William Mothafuckin Fichtner, and they exchanged a heterosexual man hug. Just then Tweek...
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  #88  
Old 10-17-2009, 08:19 PM
said to Bubba, "'Mothafuckin' has got to be the coolest middle name I've ever heard. Much cooler than my middle name."

Bubba then asked her, "What is your middle name, Tweek?"

She replied . . .
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  #89  
Old 10-19-2009, 02:08 PM
"My middle name is 'STFU', LOL." Tweek replied.

Her eyes widened as Ride of the Valkyries began playing. "Where is that coming from?"

A figure was flying toward them. Worthington and Reigh held each other. "It's okay, Son. I won't let the bad thing hurt you."

The figure landed in front of them. It was Heisenberg in a badass jetpack/mp3 player. "This ends here, john_rambo. You and your 'friends' are...
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  #90  
Old 10-19-2009, 07:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweek View Post
The figure landed in front of them. It was Heisenberg in a badass jetpack/mp3 player. "This ends here, john_rambo. You and your 'friends' are...
"... invited to a tournament. You must decide upon one of your fellow heroes to enter the portal..."

"What Portal?" asked Bubba.

Tweek quickly interrupted him, while in the same body, "STFU."

"I was getting to that damnit!" Heisenberg pulled out a transceiver from their coat pocket and pressed a big red button. Suddenly, a giant, gaping portal opened in between them and the heroes. "This portal."

"These motherfuckas are certainly keen on the theatrics." said Morgan Freeman under his breath. FLAME_ON and Samuel L. Jackson both nodded in agreement.

"So, choose one lucky hero to enter the void. There they will enter the belly of our Zeppelin transport and face a champion of our own...hehehe.... mwhahaha!"

Heisenberg continued to laugh in an not-quite-so-evil, uncomfortable, unpracticed fashion as DaveyJoeG raised his hand.

"Mmm, yes," Heisenberg called on DaveyJoeG, "what do you want?"

"I'm afraid it's a two-parter: What kind of tournament is this, exactly, and... why do you have breasts upon your head?"

Heisenberg, infuriated, replied: ...

Last edited by FireCaptain4; 10-19-2009 at 07:40 PM..
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  #91  
Old 10-19-2009, 08:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FireCaptain4 View Post
"Mmm, yes," Heisenberg called on DaveyJoeG, "what do you want?"

"I'm afraid it's a two-parter: What kind of tournament is this, exactly, and... why do you have breasts upon your head?"

Heisenberg, infuriated, replied: ...
"The tournament is four-square. The winners live...Guess what happens to the losers?" He smiled smugly.

DaveyJoeG gulped and asked, "What?"

"I said guess!"

"They die?"

"Noooooooooooo!"

There is a long, uncomfortable pause. Heisenberg finally said, "Yes, they die! I didn't think you would get it so soon. Now, choose!"

"You didn't answer my second question!"

...

Last edited by Tweek; 10-19-2009 at 11:21 PM..
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  #92  
Old 12-16-2009, 02:34 PM
But before a response could be formulated, the earth underneath our heroes shook. Heisenberg suddenly appeared nervous and revealed a charter, "Portal of Doom... Mallet of Menace... gift iPods full of nothing but Rosetta Stone... nothing here concerning... earthquakes..."

"What's that?" asked FLAME_ON.

"A list of undesirable forms of torment I can put your heroes through... there's oddly nothing here about natural disasters--"

Then, suddenly, Fred Ward appeared and ran between out heroes at an undeterminable speed, "Not again, goddamn bastards!" Ward then turned his head toward Tweek and muttered, without slowing down, "Pardon my French!"

Without warning, the ground beneath FireCaptain4 split open and a graboid lunged from the depths of dirt. Its tentacles wrapped around Cappy's limbs and pulled him inward, inside of the beast’s mouth.

"Stampede!" shouted john_rambo, as the crew did the only thing they could think of...
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  #93  
Old 12-16-2009, 11:53 PM
"I can stop it!" said William Mothafuckin' Fichtner.

He ripped off his shirt and grabbed a handful of chesthair, pulled it off his chest, and threw it on the ground. Each chest hair turned into a Chest Hair Warrior, and the stampede was defeated.

john_rambo then looked toward bubbastrangelove in horror. "No, Bubba don't do that! Whatever you do, step away and don't..."
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  #94  
Old 01-21-2010, 12:24 PM
burp!"

But it was too late. BubbaStrangelove burped and the Chest Hair Warriors were instantly dead.

William Mothafuckin' Fichtner crumpled to the ground, clutching at his manly chest. "No! Not now. Anytime but now." He said hoarsely.

The others gathered around him. "What's happening??!" john_rambo asked. He didn't ask so much as squeak the words out.
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  #95  
Old 03-14-2010, 05:27 AM
"Heartburn. Where's my Prilosec OTC?!" He cried.

There was a loud rumbling sound. The ground rumbled. From the rumbling ground rose FireCaptain4, fine and dandy.

An unseen audience cheered as the group embraced...
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  #96  
Old 03-14-2010, 01:50 PM
john_rambo. It just hit them how good looking he truly was. But then, out of nowhere, an old nemesis arose, it was Tweek again!!!!!!!!!
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  #97  
Old 03-15-2010, 12:24 AM
She wasn't alone, though, as multiple Kevin Spacey villains were by her side, each starring that evil, conniving, adapting Kevin Spacey glare and grinning maniacally...



Tweek and her army of Spacey villains crawled towards our heroes...
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  #98  
Old 03-21-2010, 03:19 AM
The Spaceys chanted in a monotone "Her pretty. Little. Head." over and over.

Tweek unsheathed a badass sword and set it on fire. She shrieked and dropped it. "Too hot! TOO HOT! OW!"
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