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  #281  
Old 01-14-2010, 06:59 PM
I think this thread should be retitled: Do you consider yourself too insecure and find that you often project onto the other sex which prevents you from being smooth with the ladies?
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  #282  
Old 01-14-2010, 07:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinigami View Post
Your opinions in this thread have gone from weird to stupid, flat-out. I'm not insulting you, but I am definitely insulting your opinions on this subject.
They're stupid to you because they're outside your reality.
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  #283  
Old 01-14-2010, 07:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbaStrangelove View Post
How is location a hinderance? You mean like how the opposite sex isn't hanging out in the computer room, or what?
If you live in a small, dying industrial city like me, you're not gonna find too many people you can relate to if you're a movie nerd. If you live in a small, isolated town in Wyoming, it's even worse. Even if you're just trying to get laid, it's more difficult for a guy. Men are expected to be the approachers. Some people just can't deal with being a take-action type, and it's unfortunate to see that hinder them. If you're just a little eccentric or socially awkward or have completely different hobbies or a mindset from everyone else in a prairie town of 3,000, of course that'd make things harder in every respect. The solution is to move, but not everyone can do that. I'm moving to Chicago or the Bronx next year.

Of course, some people are better able to thrive in small towns and shit. They aren't the majority. For most, the more people are surrounding you in a small area, the better off you'll be socially. That just makes sense.

And even if my sex and romantic life is a joke/nonexistent, I'm starting to get annoyed with the cliched "nice guy" shit. "I'm a nice guy. Why don't these BITCHES like me? Dating these JERKS!" I can understand getting bitter or cynical from your social failures, I've been down that road before. But I always realized I'm not 100% victim.

Last edited by Jon Lyrik; 01-14-2010 at 07:54 PM..
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  #284  
Old 01-15-2010, 12:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Hallenbeck View Post
Women have been in control of the sexual encounter power dynamic for some time. This really shouldn't even be up for debate.
lol

Quote:
A woman just has to be there.
A woman can be there all she wants and not get the time of day from anybody.
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  #285  
Old 01-15-2010, 12:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweek View Post
A woman can be there all she wants and not get the time of day from anybody.

Which means two things.

1. Proves my point about women rarely "going first"

2. You're surrounded by men who are either not interested in you, or "beta" male who are scared to talk to you for XYZ reasons.
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  #286  
Old 01-15-2010, 12:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Digifruitella View Post
Which means two things.

1. Proves my point about women rarely "going first"
I don't have any statistics but while there are women who don't think they should have to approach men, there are many who do. I've approached men but most of the time they've been...unpleasant in response. So it also annoys me when people say that guys will be nice when rejecting a girl.


Quote:
2. You're surrounded by men who are either not interested in you, or "beta" male who are scared to talk to you for XYZ reasons.
Meh. Probably the first part but I'm much too tired to write anything more lengthy.

Last edited by Tweek; 01-15-2010 at 12:40 AM..
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  #287  
Old 01-15-2010, 02:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by echo_bravo View Post
But come on Bubba, trying to date in a ridiculously small town like say Stanton, Iowa would be brutal compared to say Phoenix or Chicago. Its much easier to date in bigger cities cause there is more of a selection. I dont think its arrogant at all to not want to settle for some obese/ugly chick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jon Lyrik View Post
If you live in a small, dying industrial city like me, you're not gonna find too many people you can relate to if you're a movie nerd. If you live in a small, isolated town in Wyoming, it's even worse. Even if you're just trying to get laid, it's more difficult for a guy. Men are expected to be the approachers. Some people just can't deal with being a take-action type, and it's unfortunate to see that hinder them. If you're just a little eccentric or socially awkward or have completely different hobbies or a mindset from everyone else in a prairie town of 3,000, of course that'd make things harder in every respect. The solution is to move, but not everyone can do that. I'm moving to Chicago or the Bronx next year.

Of course, some people are better able to thrive in small towns and shit. They aren't the majority. For most, the more people are surrounding you in a small area, the better off you'll be socially. That just makes sense.
That makes more sense, but I think you guys are overly defining what you like as being who you are. You can live in big cities all you want, but if all you can talk about with the opposite sex is your hobbies or what you are in too, it's going to get worn out really fast. When I was a teenager, even, I was obsessed with films, but I was also obsessed with the opposite sex. Most of the girls that shared my obsessions and I dated, we ended up as friends, and many, over a decade later, I'm still in contact with or still good friends with. The other ones, who had more differing interests, I tried to learn about them. That's not jeopardizing who I am, it is expanding who I am. And if that was met with periods of, "Um... you're hot and you dig me. Let's just make out." Oh well, I'm not planning to get married anytime soon. Large chunks of college were like that as well.

And sure, it makes sense that the more people that are surrounding you in an area, the better you will be socially, but it also makes sense that the more you will get rejected. Neither of it really means shit if you aren't doing what I said from the outskirt and being yourself and voicing your feelings of interest to the opposite sex. Great, move to Tokyo. Surround yourself with the opposite sex. You're still in the same spot where you need to put yourself on the cutting block and seeing if you'll be accepted and seeing if you can stand rejection.

And I'm sorry if you live in some gargoylian town that's embedded under a bridge and there are only trolls, bugs and slightly evolved fish wandering the scape, and for the love of god, if that's the case, please leave and preferably burn that bridge behind you.

For the record, out of all the places I've been, which is very limited to the eastern US, I've found the most attractive of the opposite sex in Nashville, Tennessee and Miami, Florida, both for different features, so I'm not stranger to the geographic ebb of hotness. My stance was that I just hope to spunk that no one is implying they are going Right Said Fred and saying they are too hot for their town, because chances are that you all look fairly similar, being breed from the same drinking water, altitude, and other environmental factors that typically attribute to superficial flaws.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Jon Lyrik View Post
And even if my sex and romantic life is a joke/nonexistent, I'm starting to get annoyed with the cliched "nice guy" shit. "I'm a nice guy. Why don't these BITCHES like me? Dating these JERKS!" I can understand getting bitter or cynical from your social failures, I've been down that road before. But I always realized I'm not 100% victim.
I'm not totally sure what you're saying or where you're coming from with this, but I think I'm in agreement because I believe men and women are in the same boat.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Digifruitella View Post
Why, because you feel offended it automatically makes it untrue? You're a girl, relax. The truth is you don't put in a ton of effort into striking up a conversation. Go out to any social gathering and just observe, you will see that the guys do the "dirty" work, which includes going up to a girl, and starting a convo. So please spare me. Girls will stand all day going gaga over some guy they like but they'll rarely approach him. Most just don't have that self esteem.

I'm not saying that females don't strike up a conversation with men at all - you just need to understand that it's fucking rare, especially in modern times.

I have women strike up conversations with me quite frequently. I'd say more of my luck with strangers has actually stemmed from being approached. It's happened so frequently that I have anecdotal stories of me, for instance, once pretending like I was hearing impaired and using fake sign language because I just wanted to be left alone because I was with someone else, and in turn being called a "fucking asshole." Kill me, I assumed she wouldn't get mad about it. In fact, just today, I was talking to a friend and we were talking about some really good looking gal who we called "stalker" because she approached him and told him he was really good looking and kept buying him drinks all night, despite him reiterating multiple times that his girlfriend was working a shift at the hospital that night. We, several years later, had concluded that his mentioning this was misconstrued as, "I'm going to be lonely tonight, but I'm a nice guy who's not going to seek out a one night stand, but..."

And actually my first bar experience, going to see Cocteau Twins and I was under drinking age, ended up with me hooking up with a 25 year old dancer who, in all reality, got me drunk by sneaking me Zima all night. And I had no intention to drink, it just ended up with me being "Pretty girl. Talk. Oh, alcohol! Hey! She's pretty fun!" Nothing came of it, but since we are sharing stories, I thought I'd provide some of my own to reiterate my stance that nothing is absolute when it comes to connecting with the opposite sex.

Mileage may vary.
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  #288  
Old 01-15-2010, 08:43 AM
I was trying to give an example with film is all. I know plenty of girls with many similar interests to mine but get boring to talk very quickly to because they were sheltered as hell growing up. I hate completely dominating conversations, what's the point?

Some people are just fish out of water in some areas. Culture does matter.

On that first one, though, oddly enough, it is different talking with guys. I don't know exactly why that is. I think it's the nature of what members of the opposite sex expect out of the other, generally.

Last edited by Jon Lyrik; 01-15-2010 at 08:45 AM..
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  #289  
Old 01-15-2010, 02:19 PM
Bubba, like I said I do not dispute it - I say it's rare, a slight difference. The times I've been out I have observed this happening many times. One of the things I realized is also that a cultural difference plays an importance. When I was in Europe in one club I went to - I saw a totally different picture. I saw multiple girls walking up to either one, or a group of guys. Whereas I kind of rarely see it here in the US.

Either way.

Here's more truth in exaggerated ways. Yes bring the hate, all. I'll bask in it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1aEDJwCVxQ
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  #290  
Old 01-15-2010, 02:47 PM
You know what I hate? Girls who refuse to give blowjobs on the first hookup. It's like so ungrateful that it pisses me off. I'm the one who had to get off his ass and walk across the room to make contact. I'm the one who bought her the French Martini. I complimented her on her fat ass. I drove her around. I showed her a fun time. And she can't even show any gratitude by peeling my banana? What the hell.

It reminds me of this video which is pretty true to life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hm7pp_JFOs
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  #291  
Old 01-15-2010, 04:00 PM
I hate it when girls want to make out with you right after giving you a blowjob. I'm like, "Don't make me taste that, I want no part in your nasty."

With guys I don't mind.
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  #292  
Old 01-15-2010, 07:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinigami View Post
I hate it when girls want to make out with you right after giving you a blowjob. I'm like, "Don't make me taste that, I want no part in your nasty."

With guys I don't mind.
I could have sworn I thought I heard you say you were into snowballing.
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  #293  
Old 01-15-2010, 08:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan M. View Post
I could have sworn I thought I heard you say you were into snowballing.
Chips, dips, chains and whips...Shini changes his mind like he changes his gender preference.

I think he'll always favour balls deep+lick spit and slap though. He likes a taste of home-o.
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  #294  
Old 01-15-2010, 08:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BadCoverVersion View Post
Chips, dips, chains and whips...Shini changes his mind like he changes his gender preference.

I think he'll always favour balls deep+lick spit and slap though. He likes a taste of home-o.
This post reeks of gin and playfulness.

I love when she does this.

Last edited by Reigh Kaufman; 01-15-2010 at 08:54 PM..
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  #295  
Old 01-15-2010, 08:47 PM
How do you hear someone say sometihng on a messageboard

Reigh Kaufman made a gag about BadCoverVersion's post reeking of gin and playfulness. He edited it, but I had this great comeback joke where I high five her for showing how women don't have to let motherhood stop their alcohol intake. Now it's ruined. Now I have nothing. So I changed my avatar to Calvin throwing a snowball because I assume that's what we're talking about.

I'm also not sure what's going on.
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  #296  
Old 01-15-2010, 08:54 PM
Go on...
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  #297  
Old 01-15-2010, 09:06 PM
no no NO you're doing it wrong

^You edited your post before to help out my joke, except now your "go on" joke doesn't work because it got canceled out the first time so the repetition is gone, it's just gone! You didn't think this through man. You didn't think it through and now everything's wrong.
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  #298  
Old 01-15-2010, 09:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinigami View Post
^You edited your post before to help out my joke, except now your "go on" joke doesn't work because it got canceled out the first time so the repetition is gone, it's just gone! You didn't think this through man. You didn't think it through and now everything's wrong.
This post reeks of gin and playfulness.

I love when he does this.
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  #299  
Old 01-16-2010, 07:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jon Lyrik View Post
On that first one, though, oddly enough, it is different talking with guys. I don't know exactly why that is. I think it's the nature of what members of the opposite sex expect out of the other, generally.

Why? It's probably because no one expects you to tell your guy friend that he looks good and ask him if he does pilates.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Hallenbeck
LOL
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  #300  
Old 01-16-2010, 04:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reigh Kaufman View Post
This post reeks of gin and playfulness.

I love when he does this.
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  #301  
Old 01-16-2010, 10:13 PM
This guy knows all about being smooth with the opposite sex.
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  #302  
Old 01-16-2010, 10:45 PM
"I'm no longer interested"?..."I don't play games like that"?...."I'm a complete catch"?...what an asshole haha
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  #303  
Old 01-17-2010, 10:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbaStrangelove View Post
You sound like you're not in a stage in your life when you should even be worried about taking care of someone. I think that thinking of things like that would adversely affect confidence. It's like the proverbial situation of a guy who can't talk to a girl because he's thinking about getting married and having kids, when really he should just be thinking about getting to know her. Back to my analogy on car racing (not trying to be shallow because I do realize women/men are worth more in life than cars, but...) it would be totally reasonable for someone to be nervous and lack confidence if you were planning to race in the Indy 500, when all you should be doing is learning how to drive a stick.

I'm thinking you're a pretty cool dude, who's a smart guy, box. That's all you need to be confident about - yourself, really. Everyone gets rejected, and anyone who says they don't probably has and don't realize it. Sometimes getting rejected more often actually helps confidence, because you realize how not of a big deal it really is.



Yea, but I already dropped out of college once, I'm 24 years old making what 17 year-olds make for beer money on the weekend. Me trying to pull in a successful woman would be like a flatliner trying to comprehend someone from our dimension. This pity party is BYOB but there's plenty of weed if you need to take a hit real quick.
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  #304  
Old 01-17-2010, 09:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Highspeed View Post
"I'm no longer interested"?..."I don't play games like that"?...."I'm a complete catch"?...what an asshole haha
I thought I read that was all a marketing hoax because he had/has a documentary out.
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  #305  
Old 01-18-2010, 10:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbaStrangelove View Post
That makes more sense, but I think you guys are overly defining what you like as being who you are. You can live in big cities all you want, but if all you can talk about with the opposite sex is your hobbies or what you are in too, it's going to get worn out really fast. When I was a teenager, even, I was obsessed with films, but I was also obsessed with the opposite sex. Most of the girls that shared my obsessions and I dated, we ended up as friends, and many, over a decade later, I'm still in contact with or still good friends with. The other ones, who had more differing interests, I tried to learn about them. That's not jeopardizing who I am, it is expanding who I am. And if that was met with periods of, "Um... you're hot and you dig me. Let's just make out." Oh well, I'm not planning to get married anytime soon. Large chunks of college were like that as well.

And sure, it makes sense that the more people that are surrounding you in an area, the better you will be socially, but it also makes sense that the more you will get rejected. Neither of it really means shit if you aren't doing what I said from the outskirt and being yourself and voicing your feelings of interest to the opposite sex. Great, move to Tokyo. Surround yourself with the opposite sex. You're still in the same spot where you need to put yourself on the cutting block and seeing if you'll be accepted and seeing if you can stand rejection.

And I'm sorry if you live in some gargoylian town that's embedded under a bridge and there are only trolls, bugs and slightly evolved fish wandering the scape, and for the love of god, if that's the case, please leave and preferably burn that bridge behind you.
Not sure if this was directed at me but wow, it couldnt be more untrue. It seems that you have me sized up as some socially awkward misfit that has no other interests outside of movies. So not the case.

As far as bringing up my love for film with a chick, that usually never happens actually. In fact, I have only dated one female that was really really into movies. When I want to discuss film, I come here. Heck, majority of my friends are more into pro sports than film so I get my movie fix on the internet.

I do see your point that being in a bigger city doesnt guarantee more pussy. You HAVE to make somewhat of an effort. But believe me, I have had to travel to ridiculously small towns for business and went to their "hot spots" and I couldnt imagine how awful the dating life would be there.

This weekend was fantastic as far as getting laid goes. I was in Indianapolis all weekend, went to the Colts/Ravens game, didnt have internet access at all, was high and drunk for most of the 72 hours I was there. Hanged out with a bunch of chicks I went went to college with. Hooked up with a chick that I hadnt seen in almost a year (petite little brunette). Good times!

Last edited by echo_bravo; 01-18-2010 at 11:07 PM..
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  #306  
Old 01-19-2010, 03:50 PM
no, I'm not smooth necessarily. But being a musician does have its perks. I've found the most attractive quality a female finds in a male is that he doesn't want to be with them. People love what they can't have. So, seeming out of reach is probably the most arousing thing you can do.
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  #307  
Old 01-20-2010, 01:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by echo_bravo View Post
Not sure if this was directed at me but wow, it couldnt be more untrue. It seems that you have me sized up as some socially awkward misfit that has no other interests outside of movies. So not the case.

As far as bringing up my love for film with a chick, that usually never happens actually. In fact, I have only dated one female that was really really into movies. When I want to discuss film, I come here. Heck, majority of my friends are more into pro sports than film so I get my movie fix on the internet.

I do see your point that being in a bigger city doesnt guarantee more pussy. You HAVE to make somewhat of an effort. But believe me, I have had to travel to ridiculously small towns for business and went to their "hot spots" and I couldnt imagine how awful the dating life would be there.

I'm generalizing my take on this, so don't take anything personally. What I said was spot-on, not about you, just that you can't get hung up on what you are and aren't into. I mean, if you meant a girl that says "movies or me, you pick" yeah, obviously run the other way. Just in general, you have to look a lot more past what she likes and dislikes to maintain.



Quote:

This weekend was fantastic as far as getting laid goes. I was in Indianapolis all weekend, went to the Colts/Ravens game, didnt have internet access at all

When our children look back at this thread, I think they will find this to be the most important statement throughout.
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