#1  
Old 01-08-2010, 09:52 PM
Cures for illnesses...

Witchcraft, housewives tales, rustic remedies...

Share your cures for common ailments (cold, flu, hangover, period).

For me:

Migraine.

Suffered from them since I was four. Been hospitalized over fifty times; cured with diamorphine, codeine, paracetomol and ibuprofen. However, in a pinch - take a hair from your head and tickle the inside of your nose to induce a sneezing fit. Eases the pressure, alleviates the pain.
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  #2  
Old 01-08-2010, 10:22 PM
Hangover:

3 ibuprofen, 2 32 oz gatorade, and a few hours of vigorous exercise. Not even my most death-bed hangovers have been a match for this remedy.

Flu symptoms, headaches, congestion, all other minor illnesses:

1/2 Fifth Whiskey. Yes, I am serious.
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  #3  
Old 01-08-2010, 10:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by xseanymacx View Post
Hangover:

3 ibuprofen, 2 32 oz gatorade, and a few hours of vigorous exercise. Not even my most death-bed hangovers have been a match for this remedy.

Flu symptoms, headaches, congestion, all other minor illnesses:

1/2 Fifth Whiskey. Yes, I am serious.

What is a 1/2 a fifth in English? Approx? We're metric in the UK.
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  #4  
Old 01-09-2010, 01:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reigh Kaufman View Post
What is a 1/2 a fifth in English? Approx? We're metric in the UK.
1/2 of a fifth of a liter.


For me

HANGOVER

After a night of extensive drinking, I'll have a redeye (1/2-3/4 [depending on your preference] pint of beer...preferrably a pilsner or light lager...anything light, and the rest tomato juice - preferrably V8 or something comparable with vitamins) and 2 ibuprofin. Don't take aspirin as it can fuck up your liver (and drinking doesn't?).

When I wake in the morning, repeat the steps regarding the redeye, only drop a raw egg in there and take a B-12 supplement. Sometimes you can do the raw egg the night before if you choose to do so. You can take the B-12 at night, but it promotes energy.

The only true hangover remedy though is TIME.
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  #5  
Old 01-09-2010, 01:57 AM
2 words:

"Gaaaanja mon!"
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  #6  
Old 01-09-2010, 01:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by xseanymacx View Post
Hangover:

3 ibuprofen, 2 32 oz gatorade, and a few hours of vigorous exercise. Not even my most death-bed hangovers have been a match for this remedy.

Flu symptoms, headaches, congestion, all other minor illnesses:

1/2 Fifth Whiskey. Yes, I am serious.
Sausage biscuit sandwiches are also great for hangovers.

Something else that helps to prevent hangovers, is heavy hydration before and during drinking. Hangovers are essentially dehydration, which is why the Gatorade works there, and the excercise just helps it metabolize quicker. I used to work with and party with a paramedic who would use saline drips the day after hangovers as an instant hangover cure.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Reigh Kaufman View Post
What is a 1/2 a fifth in English? Approx? We're metric in the UK.
750mL

EDIT: Sorry, cut that in half, so about 2/5 of a liter. It's like a step up from a flask.





Congestion - white distilled vinegar, a drop at the base of your nostril, or if it's heavier, pour some in a bowl of boiling water and hold your head over it with a towel draped over your head

Acne - bacitracin cream (neosporin if you're rich). This will knock out most conditions overnight.

Kidney Stone - heavy amounts of lemonade along with coriander mixed with hot water (not together, alternating) The lemonade helps dissolve the stones, and the coriander mix works as a diuretic, flushing your bladder. Pain killers should be coupled.

Last edited by The Postmaster General; 01-09-2010 at 02:10 AM..
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  #7  
Old 01-09-2010, 01:07 PM
For a hangover? Cold can of Diet Irn Bru and a roll & sausage + onions. Usually does the trick.
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  #8  
Old 01-09-2010, 01:35 PM
I like how 80% of the responses here are about hangovers. Bubba, I love the story about your paramedic friend using a saline drip for hangovers. It reminded me of Nic Cage in Bringing out the Dead, Scorsese's most underrated film IMO.

The best way to deal with hangovers is taking preventative measures. Chug a glass of water or two before you go to bed. Unfortunately I tend to get so drunk that I forget to do this. I've got a mean hangover right now, and I'm chugging 7UP as fast as I can. However, I'm always impressed by how my hangovers get less and less severe. If I drank the same amount a couple years ago, I'd be bed-ridden all day. Sorry, liver.

Okay now my cure for Hiccups: Take a glass of water and cover it with a paper towel. Chug the entire glass through the paper towel; when you're done, the hiccups will be gone. I'm not sure how it works, I just know it does. I always try to share this pearl of wisdom with my friends when they have the hiccups but they just laugh and won't try it. Idiots. Works for me every time, though.
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  #9  
Old 01-09-2010, 01:43 PM
I've always heard that snorting cocaine through a FIVE dollar bill will cure a sinus infection. Ugh...all I have are 20s....
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  #10  
Old 01-09-2010, 02:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveyJoeG View Post

Okay now my cure for Hiccups: Take a glass of water and cover it with a paper towel. Chug the entire glass through the paper towel; when you're done, the hiccups will be gone. I'm not sure how it works, I just know it does. I always try to share this pearl of wisdom with my friends when they have the hiccups but they just laugh and won't try it. Idiots. Works for me every time, though.
Yowzers, I can't wait to try this. Hiccups are ridiculously annoying.

My hangover cure is a half glass of andrews salts and 2 ibuprofen first thing in the morn, a pot of tea (plenty sugar and milk) and then a maccyd's quarter cheese meal and large diet coke for din dins.

So wrong, but it feels so right.
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  #11  
Old 01-09-2010, 02:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reigh Kaufman View Post
Witchcraft, housewives tales, rustic remedies...

Share your cures for common ailments (cold, flu, hangover, period).

For me:

Migraine.

Suffered from them since I was four. Been hospitalized over fifty times; cured with diamorphine, codeine, paracetomol and ibuprofen. However, in a pinch - take a hair from your head and tickle the inside of your nose to induce a sneezing fit. Eases the pressure, alleviates the pain.
Have you tried Topamax?

My mother had awful, debilitating migraines for over 15 years and nothing worked preventitively, the only drugs that relieved the pain knocked her out. Then she tried this once-daily drug originally designed as anti-seizure medicine and near constant migraines became 2-3 a year.

http://www.topamax.com/topamax/index.html

Fucks with your memory, but extremely effective apparently and increasingly being use to treat chronic sufferers.

Pounding a few glasses of water before you go to bed are all I've found necessary to prevent hangovers. When I used to take shitty X, we'd drink pedialyte in the morning for the same, it's like super Gatorade and works wonders.

For nasal congestion, a teaspoon of horseradish seems to do the trick, taking a big whiff of it helps too.

For the common cold I've got a guaranteed cure passed down from generation to generation. In a big pot boil and bake fillet of a fenny snake, eye of newt, and toe of frog, wool of bat, and tongue of dog, adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, lizard's leg, and howlet's wing, then turn down the heat and let it simmer for ~10 minutes, place a little under the tongue and you'll feel better in no time.

Last edited by QUENTIN; 09-16-2010 at 03:46 PM..
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  #12  
Old 01-09-2010, 03:20 PM
Sore throat

a cup of warm, preferably hot milk with honey.

Runny nose

Boil a few potatoes in a pan, inhale the steam through your nose all this while you have a blanket above your head to keeping the steam from escaping the pan. You'll be sweating, but once you've done this for a good 10 minutes - no more runny nose.
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  #13  
Old 01-09-2010, 04:41 PM
So is anybody here gonna try any of these remedies?
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  #14  
Old 01-09-2010, 04:45 PM
Apparently there's a part in your hand that you can pinch that can make a headache go away. Someone did it to me in China and it worked...but I haven't been able to do it myself.
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  #15  
Old 01-09-2010, 04:50 PM
Aside from being a very good aphrodesiac (sp?), I hear oysters are also used to cure things like headaches and hangovers.
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  #16  
Old 01-09-2010, 06:06 PM
My uncle used to be a habitual Flonase user for his chronic sinus congestion till he just had his wife add spicy herbs to his meals. After that no more congestion.


Re: Servo

There's also a pressure point in your feet that instantly triggers a need to go #2, so if you're constipated you should try to find someone who does shiatsu on the feet.

I know this because it happened to my mom when we bought her an hour massage session for her b-day.
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  #17  
Old 01-09-2010, 06:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveyJoeG View Post
Okay now my cure for Hiccups: Take a glass of water and cover it with a paper towel. Chug the entire glass through the paper towel; when you're done, the hiccups will be gone. I'm not sure how it works, I just know it does. I always try to share this pearl of wisdom with my friends when they have the hiccups but they just laugh and won't try it. Idiots. Works for me every time, though.

There's some deal about focusing that fixes hiccups. I know the 10 small sips of water trick and the spoonful of sugar trick are really effective, but never heard of the paper towel thing. For a few years, I used to be able to sort of control my breathing and it would work every time, but I sort of lost the zone I'd find that made it happened. I think those water tricks work using the same idea, about focusing the hiccups away. Small sips, and paper towel - same as the spoonful of sugar, they all seem to have the common theme, where you're forced to think about what you're doing. Usually the worst hiccups are the ones you can't stop thinking about and anticipate every moment of.



Quote:
Originally Posted by the clever guy
So is anybody here gonna try any of these remedies?
I know there will be people trying the acne remedy and never speaking of it. A physician actually tapped me into that one. He pointed out that all expensive creams and OTC remedies like Oxy and shit are all based around the same purpose of killing bacteria. He actually started by mentioning Dial anti-bacterial soap, but then added that "if it's really bad or you need to get rid of it quick" just toss the neosporin/bacitracin on it.

Last edited by The Postmaster General; 01-09-2010 at 06:26 PM..
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  #18  
Old 01-09-2010, 07:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reigh Kaufman View Post
Migraine.

Suffered from them since I was four. Been hospitalized over fifty times; cured with diamorphine, codeine, paracetomol and ibuprofen. However, in a pinch - take a hair from your head and tickle the inside of your nose to induce a sneezing fit. Eases the pressure, alleviates the pain.
Thanks, I'm going to suggest the nose trick to my friend, he missed most of this week at work because of migraines.
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  #19  
Old 01-10-2010, 11:41 AM
Annoyed by Road Runners

Go on line to Acme.Com and purchase a "Road Runner Elimination Kit"
Find the road where he keeps showing up and set up the device
Paint a big red "X" where the directions state, add pan of Road Runner feed on top of the "X"
Stand behind giant rock that you attached device to and wait.

*CAUTION: Make sure giant rock is nowhere near a cliff or steep drop. This will void the warranty on the device.
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