#1  
Old 08-21-2010, 09:03 PM
A Question For The Girls (and guys)

This topic was sparked by DaveyJo's comment and other related replies in the Robert Pattison thread. It's about why girls for the most part prefer (seem to prefer) guys who are assholes, over guys who are genuinely nice. Is it true that girls like bad boys? I can never work out what girls really want and like. And I've been trying to work this out for many years. All to no avail.



Personally, I have never hit or abused any woman in any way. Never done anything bad to them. Hell, I think I had a couple of arguments with some, and that is all. I have been single for a few years now. Maybe I'm too nice, maybe? Yet, I still fail to understand why so many of the girls I know remain with men who abuse them, hit them, make them feel like shit, belittle them etc etc. And what's more, these girls stay with them.

I even asked my boss. She's now single and her last partner of about 3 years treated her in ways so bad, I can't understand it. He used her so badly. Made her feel like shit, and yet she is an amazing women in more ways than one. I'd marry her in a second if she would say yes. But she and her are just best friends, nothing more. Her and I talk about everything, including her ex, and I asked her straight up-why did you stay with him? Know what she said? Essentially, this was her response;

"Because nice women are more attracted to bad men"

Wtf? This doesn't make sense to me, I'm sorry. I'm confused.

Why is this?
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  #2  
Old 08-21-2010, 09:11 PM
It's a myth.

...and how in the hell is Robert Pattinson comparable to an asshole/bad guy who might abuse a gal? He's just the latest heartthrob and his appeal is mainly limited to tweens.

Those scary Twilight Moms are pretty fucked but I get the feeling they are more out to mother him rather than have hot weird sex with him.
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  #3  
Old 08-21-2010, 09:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by God of War View Post
"Because nice women are more attracted to bad men"

Wtf? This doesn't make sense to me, I'm sorry. I'm confused.

Why is this?
Honestly, she seems to be talking shit.

Victims at the time are never self aware...the fact that she basically refers to herself as the "nice woman" and him as the "bad man" is pretty weird...and it's such a strange generalization anyway.
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  #4  
Old 08-21-2010, 09:24 PM
I'm an "and guys"!

I explained my view on some thread about women or sex or dating, but basically I think while younger women do genuinely like "bad boys" because they're immature (just like young guys), mature girls and most women over 20-25 aren't attracted to guys because they're assholes.

Rather, I think assholes and douchebags tend to possess commonly attractive qualities like confidence and extroversion moreso than your average "nice guy." It's not the abuse or belittling or jerky qualities women find attractive (not well-adjusted and desirable women anyway), people generally are just attracted to people who are assertive, self-assured, etc. which is likely found in greater abundance among people who are also self-centered and arrogant or otherwise "bad" people.

Sometimes I also think there's a tendency to think timid, shy, insecure and introverted guys are automatically "nice" because of those personality traits, which I don't agree with. I also think there is a tendency among some people with trouble dating to assume that if a physically attractive guy is with a physically attractive girl he must be an asshole, which can be chalked up to little more than jealousy if it's based purely on assumption and if you're guilty of it, you might not be as nice as you think. There are confident very kind, caring, intelligent, empathetic guys who treat women right and there are insecure very mean, uncaring, dumb, and selfish guys who treat women wrong. I think confident nice guys do better than confident jerks, but confident jerks will do better in the short term at least than nice but shy or awkward or insecure guys. If you're insecure and a jerk, you won't last long with anyone worth their salt.

If you're a genuinely nice guy, I think being more outgoing and confident (and funny! a good sense of humor is like Sex Panther if not too "goofy") is the answer, not being more of an asshole. I think a positive, upbeat attitude is huge too and sometimes more introverted or timid guys can be "downers," which isn't an attractive quality. Moreover, if you're a genuinely nice guy, you probably shouldn't be overly concerned with what girls are dating genuine assholes since if someone is truly attracted and attached to a douchebag, odds are they're shallow or vapid or not so nice themselves and therefore not worth your time.

*All statements are based on my own limited life experience and are of course generalities with exceptions and nuance when applied specifically or individually.

Last edited by QUENTIN; 08-21-2010 at 09:31 PM..
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  #5  
Old 08-21-2010, 09:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by QUENTIN View Post
Rather, I think assholes and douchebags tend to possess commonly attractive qualities like confidence and extroversion moreso than your average "nice guy." It's not the abuse or belittling or jerky qualities women find attractive (not well-adjusted and desirable women anyway), people generally are just attracted to people who are assertive, self-assured, etc. which is likely found in greater abundance among people who are also self-centered and arrogant or otherwise "bad" people.

Sometimes I also think there's a tendency to think timid, shy, insecure and introverted guys are automatically "nice" because of those personality traits, which I don't agree with. I also think there is a tendency among some people with trouble dating to assume that if a physically attractive guy is with a physically attractive girl he must be an asshole, which can be chalked up to little more than jealousy if it's based purely on assumption and if you're guilty of it, you might not be as nice as you think. There are confident very kind, caring, intelligent, empathetic guys who treat women right and there are insecure very mean, uncaring, dumb, and selfish guys who treat women wrong. I think confident nice guys do better than confident jerks, but confident jerks will do better in the short term at least than nice but shy or awkward or insecure guys. If you're insecure and a jerk, you won't last long with anyone worth their salt.

If you're a genuinely nice guy, I think being more outgoing and confident (and funny! a good sense of humor is like Sex Panther if not too "goofy") is the answer, not being more of an asshole. I think a positive, upbeat attitude is huge too and sometimes more introverted or timid guys can be "downers," which isn't an attractive quality. Moreover, if you're a genuinely nice guy, you probably shouldn't be overly concerned with what girls are dating genuine assholes since if someone is truly attracted and attached to a douchebag, odds are they're shallow or vapid or not so nice themselves and therefore not worth your time.

*All statements are based on my own limited life experience and are of course generalities with exceptions and nuance when applied specifically or individually.

I agree, though my opinion probably isn't valid because I can count the amount of relationships I've been in on zero fingers.
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  #6  
Old 08-21-2010, 09:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by QUENTIN View Post
I explained my view on some thread about women or sex or dating
Found it: http://joblo.com/forums/showthread.p...ght=douchebags

A lot of schmoes chime in with thoughts on this subject there.
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  #7  
Old 08-21-2010, 09:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweek View Post
I agree, though my opinion probably isn't valid because I can count the amount of relationships I've been in on zero fingers.
Had we but the world enough and time, Tweek...
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  #8  
Old 08-21-2010, 09:37 PM
Quote:
Rather, I think assholes and douchebags tend to possess commonly attractive qualities like confidence and extroversion moreso than your average "nice guy." It's not the abuse or belittling or jerky qualities women find attractive (not well-adjusted and desirable women anyway), people generally are just attracted to people who are assertive, self-assured, etc. which is likely found in greater abundance among people who are also self-centered and arrogant or otherwise "bad" people.

Sometimes I also think there's a tendency to think timid, shy, insecure and introverted guys are automatically "nice" because of those personality traits, which I don't agree with. I also think there is a tendency among some people with trouble dating to assume that if a physically attractive guy is with a physically attractive girl he must be an asshole, which can be chalked up to little more than jealousy if it's based purely on assumption and if you're guilty of it, you might not be as nice as you think. There are confident very kind, caring, intelligent, empathetic guys who treat women right and there are insecure very mean, uncaring, dumb, and selfish guys who treat women wrong. I think confident nice guys do better than confident jerks, but confident jerks will do better in the short term at least than nice but shy or awkward or insecure guys. If you're insecure and a jerk, you won't last long with anyone worth their salt.

If you're a genuinely nice guy, I think being more outgoing and confident (and funny! a good sense of humor is like Sex Panther if not too "goofy") is the answer, not being more of an asshole. I think a positive, upbeat attitude is huge too and sometimes more introverted or timid guys can be "downers," which isn't an attractive quality. Moreover, if you're a genuinely nice guy, you probably shouldn't be overly concerned with what girls are dating genuine assholes since if someone is truly attracted and attached to a douchebag, odds are they're shallow or vapid or not so nice themselves and therefore not worth your time.

*All statements are based on my own limited life experience and are of course generalities with exceptions and nuance when applied specifically or individually.
Quentin's completely oblivious as usual. lol!
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  #9  
Old 08-22-2010, 04:28 AM
You ever read Far From the Madding Crowd? There's your answer.


In my experience its always the assholes who are coming up and engaging you. Nice guys are somewhere too busy holding up the wall.

Get in it to win it guys!


Somewhere around around mid to late twenties women just lack the energy to deal with assholes, and we basically start looking for guys that require "less negative maintenance". Nice guys, your time has come.

Last edited by electriclite; 08-22-2010 at 04:31 AM..
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  #10  
Old 08-22-2010, 05:08 AM
As Quentin already broke it down for you...

it's all summed up in one word pretty much.

Confidence

the key trait that separates the men from the boys.
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  #11  
Old 08-22-2010, 08:23 AM
I don't think it's so much the need for a bad boy but the need for the guy to push back a little. Girls, even ones that love running a relationship, don't want it to be really easy i think. A little bit of conflict can keep things interesting.

I had a friend who lost a girl or two over time becuase he would juat agree with and go along with what ever they wanted all ofthe time and they found that to be quite boaring.

Sometimes a girl wants to see her man be a man
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  #12  
Old 08-22-2010, 09:31 AM
Of course Q Quentin covered the bases like Q in star track, but I still want to take the opportunity to be guinan even though I've never had a successful serious relationship in my life. Now that my credentials are out of the way, I think a ton of guys are passive aggressive when they talk about girls they know who are going out with guys they don't like. I've known, like, um, like for real like honest to blog one girl who was ever going out with an abusive asshole. Everyone else was just going out with a girl I wanted to go out with instead.

Too many nice guys have a mean streak in that they look for ways to intellectualize and rationalize relationships they don't approve of until the object of their ire is psychoanalyzed into mel gibson. One of my old friends, who was coincidentally too timid and downbeat for me to keep hanging out with him (as quentin touched on, this can be a problem for any relationship, even between guys)... He always did this and it was exhausting. If that girl he liked got stepped on in any way by her boyfriend, he would start up with asshole this and asshole that, asshole this because the boyfriend didn't show up for her recital and asshole that because the boyfriend yelled at her the other day and called her a bitch.
There's this strange undercurrent of passive aggressive passive misogyny in a lot of guys. Guys with slim to nil experience in any kind of relationship seem to have decided for themselves that other guys who treat girlfriends as fellow human beings instead of glass doll idols are assholes. And that's a slimy skeevy way of reiterating reality. It would be just so if the guys God of War referenced were guys who plainly treated their significant other like a person and not like a woman, as if there's some real differentiation there. People make fun of other people. People can be cruel to other people. People can put down other people. The reason this doesn't freak anybody out is because that's how people are, and people are able to deal with people being people with other people.

It doesn't matter if you're a girl or a guy with a girl or a guy, if it's buddy-buddy or if it's romantic- if somebody acts too nice to you and never engages you or challenges you or criticizes you, that person never becomes integral because he or she isn't engaging you. They're a nice pleasant acquaintance and that's all they are. Even on an internet forum, for god's sake... If there's a poster who always posts and compliments people, they're nice, I guess, but you won't remember their names. But you do remember the usernames or the avatars of people who engage you.
Niceness is not passiveness, when passiveness is not engaging.
And it's still better to be engaged by jon galt than it is to be given another empty compliant compliment by whatshisface.

Last edited by Shinigami; 08-22-2010 at 09:34 AM..
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  #13  
Old 08-22-2010, 10:57 AM
bad boys vs good guys

As someone else already brought up in this thread, it's more of a confidence thing than an attitude thing. Best thing for anyone to do is just be comfortable enough with who they are and don't feel the need to hold anything back. Sadly most badguys/assholes really don't care what people think of them so they tend to be more upfront of who they are.

Hope this helped a little.
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  #14  
Old 08-22-2010, 03:44 PM
It's sort of like pre-school when you didn't know how to handle those feelings, so you would just kick girls in the shin or throw dirt in their hair. They respond to that. Girls love attention, and like they say there is no such thing as bad publicity. As it turns out, it's not much easier to deal with those feelings as an adult. So if you're going to be successful, you have to show the girls that you like them, and the best way to do that is with the language that men know best: violence!



She'll love him forever.
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  #15  
Old 08-22-2010, 07:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinigami View Post

It doesn't matter if you're a girl or a guy with a girl or a guy, if it's buddy-buddy or if it's romantic- if somebody acts too nice to you and never engages you or challenges you or criticizes you, that person never becomes integral because he or she isn't engaging you. They're a nice pleasant acquaintance and that's all they are. Even on an internet forum, for god's sake... If there's a poster who always posts and compliments people, they're nice, I guess, but you won't remember their names. But you do remember the usernames or the avatars of people who engage you.
Niceness is not passiveness, when passiveness is not engaging.
And it's still better to be engaged by jon galt than it is to be given another empty compliant compliment by whatshisface.
I like what you said here, Shini. Good call. And at the risk of not sounding too passive and un-engaging, your lack of indenting paragraphs is fucking annoying.
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  #16  
Old 08-22-2010, 07:50 PM
Don't get between me, and grammar servo. We have been being at war for millennium.
This is not you're fight!
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  #17  
Old 08-22-2010, 10:58 PM
we bad boys have bigger penises
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  #18  
Old 08-22-2010, 11:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by electriclite View Post
Nice guys are somewhere too busy holding up the wall.
Because if the walls aren't held up, then that roof just falls in on everyone.


You're welcome.
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  #19  
Old 08-23-2010, 12:51 AM
I like to think of myself as a confident gentleman. Over the last couple of years my co-workers have been under the impression that I'm gay. So clearly, I'm doing something wrong.
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  #20  
Old 08-23-2010, 01:48 AM
Like a number of the schomes have mentioned, confidence and a positive attitude can go a long way.

However, a LOT of women confuse confidence with arrogance/cockiness which annoys me a bit(hence why guys like the ones on the Jersey Shore have absolutely zero problem getting trim)

God of War, I wouldnt beat yourself over trying to figure out "what women want", most of them dont even know either.

Last edited by echo_bravo; 08-23-2010 at 01:53 AM..
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  #21  
Old 08-23-2010, 01:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BadCoverVersion View Post
It's a myth.

...and how in the hell is Robert Pattinson comparable to an asshole/bad guy who might abuse a gal? He's just the latest heartthrob and his appeal is mainly limited to tweens.

Those scary Twilight Moms are pretty fucked but I get the feeling they are more out to mother him rather than have hot weird sex with him.
Yeah from the interviews I've seen of Pattinson, he comes across as a modest, bashful goofball. Hardly the mysterious, brooding bad boy he plays in those shitty Twilight movies.
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  #22  
Old 08-23-2010, 07:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by echo_bravo View Post
God of War, I wouldnt beat yourself up over trying to figure out "what women want", most of them dont even know either.
This, x100.
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  #23  
Old 08-23-2010, 08:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by echo_bravo View Post
However, a LOT of women confuse confidence with arrogance/cockiness which annoys me a bit(hence why guys like the ones on the Jersey Shore have absolutely zero problem getting trim)
Those Jersey Shore dicks usually end up boning thick-as-pig-shit bores that are at least 60% hair extensions, spray tan and acrylic...like meets like as far as I can tell.

In the same way, intelligent, interesting and physically attractive females usually end up with guys that share similar characteristics...yeah, of course SOME end up with dicks but I'm not sure that they should be the ones being slammed because they fell for a fallacy.
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  #24  
Old 08-23-2010, 10:39 AM
Actually I have seen those Jersey Shore guys pull in some insanely hot chicks before haha. I saw them at a nightclub and were surrounded and getting swarmed by hot chicks all night. Maybe some women dig the cocky/more aggressive type guys. Its just natural I guess for some women to flock towards the alpha male. Thats perfectly fine by me, just dont come to me looking for sympathy when he screws ya over.

Another thing to look at is location. The females in say Des Moines, Iowa would probably be a lot more down to earth then say the females in NYC, Miami or LA. I go out to the bars and clubs in this city called Scottsdale (located near Phoenix) and a lot of the people are wealthy(or at least portray themselves as) and materialistic. It gets the nickname "Snottsdale" for a reason lol. A lot of females are very snotty and stuck up. Maybe its just an American thing, but one of my biggest issues with a lot of women in their 20s is the "self entitlement" some of them seem to think they should have. I've come across too many females with an over-inflated ego of themselves (like they are Paris Hilton or something). I mean, thats great that you love yourself and all but sheesh dont act like you're Princess fuckin Diana

I've now learned to avoid these chicks. No matter how hot they may look on the outside, they are not worth the time or the hassle. I now persue more avg/plain looking chicks that are way lower maintence and friendlier .

Last edited by echo_bravo; 08-23-2010 at 10:56 AM..
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  #25  
Old 08-23-2010, 01:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by echo_bravo View Post
Actually I have seen those Jersey Shore guys pull in some insanely hot chicks before haha. I saw them at a nightclub and were surrounded and getting swarmed by hot chicks all night.
See this I don't get. Those 'hot' chicks can't honestly be worth a damn if that's the type of meathead they want to hook with. Who cares if they are aesthetically attractive if they are also nuts or dumb or fickle or a combination of all three?

That's not a 'hot' girl to most woman...that's just a dumb broad who probably won't have shit all to cling on to 30 years down the line.
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  #26  
Old 08-23-2010, 04:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BadCoverVersion View Post
See this I don't get. Those 'hot' chicks can't honestly be worth a damn if that's the type of meathead they want to hook with. Who cares if they are aesthetically attractive if they are also nuts or dumb or fickle or a combination of all three?
Ha, oh I am sure a lot those chicks were shallow bimbos just looking to get banged by a Dlist celebrity. I'm not really fussing over it, just letting you know that those guys (and guys like them) can get a lot of good looking chicks. A lot of it is just human nature dating back to the beginning of time (females would flock to the best hunter/alpha male of the group)haha.
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  #27  
Old 08-23-2010, 05:01 PM
I don't have any idea how to answer that question, but I once had a girlfriend who got mad at me one time because I was "too nice to her". True story and that's exactly how she put it. I think she was crazy, but I'm really puzzled if most women prefer guys who treat them like crap.
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  #28  
Old 08-23-2010, 05:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BadCoverVersion View Post
See this I don't get. Those 'hot' chicks can't honestly be worth a damn if that's the type of meathead they want to hook with. Who cares if they are aesthetically attractive if they are also nuts or dumb or fickle or a combination of all three?
The answer to this question......ONE.NIGHT.STAND




Nah, I'm just joking. I don't understand this mentality either. I personally find these bimbos so pathetic that they become physically ugly to me, even if they are actually stunning.
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  #29  
Old 08-23-2010, 05:39 PM
Men jerk off to porn stars all the time, but they wouldn't bring them home to meet Mother.
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  #30  
Old 08-23-2010, 06:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by moose1132 View Post
I don't have any idea how to answer that question, but I once had a girlfriend who got mad at me one time because I was "too nice to her". True story and that's exactly how she put it. I think she was crazy, but I'm really puzzled if most women prefer guys who treat them like crap.
I don't mean to be harsh, but no one likes a doormat. That may have been and not so infrequently is the problem with being too "nice" or what Shini astutely describes as unengaging. There's also the possibility that she just sucked.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveyJoeG View Post
Men jerk off to porn stars all the time, but they wouldn't bring them home to meet Mother.
No, Mother wouldn't approve.

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  #31  
Old 08-23-2010, 09:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by moose1132 View Post
but I'm really puzzled if most women prefer guys who treat them like crap.
well i can tell you all right now i'm not one of those women,

if a boyfriend treated me like crap he'd be in for a surprise...actually an ex boyfriend was surprised
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  #32  
Old 08-24-2010, 12:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah1980 View Post
if a boyfriend treated me like crap he'd be in for a surprise...actually an ex boyfriend was surprised
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  #33  
Old 08-24-2010, 12:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveyJoeG View Post
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  #34  
Old 08-24-2010, 03:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by echo_bravo View Post
Actually I have seen those Jersey Shore guys pull in some insanely hot chicks before haha. I saw them at a nightclub and were surrounded and getting swarmed by hot chicks all night. Maybe some women dig the cocky/more aggressive type guys. Its just natural I guess for some women to flock towards the alpha male. Thats perfectly fine by me, just dont come to me looking for sympathy when he screws ya over.

Another thing to look at is location. The females in say Des Moines, Iowa would probably be a lot more down to earth then say the females in NYC, Miami or LA. I go out to the bars and clubs in this city called Scottsdale (located near Phoenix) and a lot of the people are wealthy(or at least portray themselves as) and materialistic. It gets the nickname "Snottsdale" for a reason lol. A lot of females are very snotty and stuck up. Maybe its just an American thing, but one of my biggest issues with a lot of women in their 20s is the "self entitlement" some of them seem to think they should have. I've come across too many females with an over-inflated ego of themselves (like they are Paris Hilton or something). I mean, thats great that you love yourself and all but sheesh dont act like you're Princess fuckin Diana

I've now learned to avoid these chicks. No matter how hot they may look on the outside, they are not worth the time or the hassle. I now persue more avg/plain looking chicks that are way lower maintence and friendlier .

I see a lot of problems with this post and how it may influence your view of women in general.

Quote:
]Actually I have seen those Jersey Shore guys pull in some insanely hot chicks before haha. I saw them at a nightclub and were surrounded and getting swarmed by hot chicks all night. Maybe some women dig the cocky/more aggressive type guys. Its just natural I guess for some women to flock towards the alpha male. Thats perfectly fine by me, just dont come to me looking for sympathy when he screws ya over.
Yeah of course they have. They're on TV, they have money... they can not only just pay for hot chick services, but there are plenty of other women that want to use them for their money and popularity. Completely superficial and disgusting excuses for "women", imho... if you're a "nobody" celebrity you'll still find sycophantic followers that just want a piece - any KIND of piece - of something in the entertainment business.

I say, avoid at all costs.

Quote:
Another thing to look at is location. The females in say Des Moines, Iowa would probably be a lot more down to earth then say the females in NYC, Miami or LA. I go out to the bars and clubs in this city called Scottsdale ....
Here's another problem. If you're only looking to meet chicks in bars and clubs for a one-night stand and/or superficial hookups, then you're doing fine. I'm not saying there are nothing but "bad women" at these places, but the majority of them are looking for someone with money and/or the same thing that most guys want; a no-strings-attached fling.
There are also great women that aren't superficial who go to bars and clubs, but that's the minority.

Don't rate your view of women in the world based on your adventures at bars and clubs, no matter the location or TYPES of bars, etc...
That's my view on things.

Quote:
I've now learned to avoid these chicks. No matter how hot they may look on the outside, they are not worth the time or the hassle. I now persue more avg/plain looking chicks that are way lower maintence and friendlier .
This is one of those kinda slime-bally things to say about "chicks". I'm not saying it was intentional, but dang... I hate the idea that "ugly chicks" are the ones with better personalities and/or are smarter, etc... I've known a fair share of super-hot and smart women that also happen to contain many attributes only expected of an "average" chick.
The thing is, I didn't meet most of these women at bars or clubs. Aye, there's the rub.
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  #35  
Old 08-24-2010, 04:19 AM
Who says that bad men can't be nice to the ladies? How else are they supposed to lure them into their basement?
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  #36  
Old 08-24-2010, 04:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbaStrangelove View Post
Who says that bad men can't be nice to the ladies? How else are they supposed to lure them into their basement?
You're absolutely right. I was going to start to say stuff, but I was freaking myself out, so I'll just say... yeah. You're absolutely right.
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  #37  
Old 08-24-2010, 07:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveyJoeG View Post
no not quite that LOL...he slapped me so i broke his jaw
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  #38  
Old 08-24-2010, 08:54 AM
Oh shit, sarah1980's a badass!
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  #39  
Old 08-24-2010, 12:53 PM
Oh, you've found someone that can speak from experience here.

Ahem....


When you do everything that you possibly can for a woman that you have affection for, open your heart to her, be there for her, one of two things will happen:

If she truly has a place in her heart for you, she'll respond to your affections and you may be on the verge of starting something special

OR

She will be so skeptical of your actions because so many a-holes that came before you did the same thing, she'll either keep you at a distance in the "friend zone" or just she'll give you a reason why you and her can never be.

It isn't that girls love bad boys. It's that there are so many pieces of s*** out there that have that appeal to women that they will approach these men with the best intentions but usually end up getting hurt by them.

Makes it hard to impossible for a genuinely good guy to reach them.
Seen this scenario MANY times but only over the last few years, it became apparent to me that "good girls like bad boys" makes the "girls" look bad. But they're not.

When you've been hurt by someone that you honestly cared for, makes it tough to open up to someone new.
You meet a beautiful woman. She's smart, she's funny, she even digs sports AND Star Trek (damn!). You can see the future of your life together when you look in her eyes and you want to proceed with wallpapering your first child's room...but she's not interested.

What makes you different than Johnny Douchebag who promised her the world? Who said similar things or made her feel the same way?

I'd like to meet up with Johnny and show him what real pain is.
Bastard.

But sometimes, if you take things slow (which sucks I know, but friends first, then...who knows?), old scars might heal and you never can tell what comes next.

Best case scenario: you made a friend that could transform into your soulmate, your love.

There is no worst case scenario, as far as I'm concerned.

Love is available to everyone, no matter how confident or how timid you are.
It can happen for you, it WILL happen for you.
Love always gives us a chance.
And the good guys eventually win.
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  #40  
Old 08-24-2010, 02:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KcMsterpce View Post
I see a lot of problems with this post and how it may influence your view of women in general.


Yeah of course they have. They're on TV, they have money... they can not only just pay for hot chick services, but there are plenty of other women that want to use them for their money and popularity. Completely superficial and disgusting excuses for "women", imho... if you're a "nobody" celebrity you'll still find sycophantic followers that just want a piece - any KIND of piece - of something in the entertainment business.

I say, avoid at all costs.



Here's another problem. If you're only looking to meet chicks in bars and clubs for a one-night stand and/or superficial hookups, then you're doing fine. I'm not saying there are nothing but "bad women" at these places, but the majority of them are looking for someone with money and/or the same thing that most guys want; a no-strings-attached fling.
There are also great women that aren't superficial who go to bars and clubs, but that's the minority.

Don't rate your view of women in the world based on your adventures at bars and clubs, no matter the location or TYPES of bars, etc...
That's my view on things.



This is one of those kinda slime-bally things to say about "chicks". I'm not saying it was intentional, but dang... I hate the idea that "ugly chicks" are the ones with better personalities and/or are smarter, etc... I've known a fair share of super-hot and smart women that also happen to contain many attributes only expected of an "average" chick.The thing is, I didn't meet most of these women at bars or clubs. Aye, there's the rub.
Haha, yeah after re-reading what I wrote that did sorta come across as douchey. I should probably elaborate on it. What I was meaning to say was that I am no longer just putting a lot of stock into superficial things anymore (like I used to especially in college). I will admit that in my college years, I was pretty shallow and I look back and ask what was I thinking??lol Now(at the ripe old age of 27) I have been focusing more on a good personality and good conversation(instead of just a great rack or a great ass, although I love those too) Thats not to say that I am gonna go after women that look like creatures from Middle Earth because they might be more low maintence haha.

And yeah I am not naive enough to think that the chicks at night clubs (especially the ones in Scottsdale) will lead to anything of substance. Normally just go out with some friends and have a good time.
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