#1  
Old 10-13-2010, 06:42 PM
The Count has gone too far...

Countchocula and I enjoy a friendship off the boards, as some of you may now. It's had its ups and downs, with its share of incessant geekery on my part and hilarious racism on his, but we've remained pals through and through.

But today, the Count stepped over the line. We've sent random gifts to one another over the years, and this last Christmas, I sent the man something constructive in the form of two monster movie tapes to add to his collection (which reminds me, YOU'RE WELCOME). So today, I received what he said is an early Christmas present. And here's what I received from this fuck nugget on wheels:

1. A bottle of Jolly Rancher Soda, Blue Raspberry flavor (which is actually pretty cool).

2. A jump rope.

3. A watch, broken and with the words TREASURE HUNT in the middle.

4. A novelization of the motion picture Vertical Limit.

5. Copies of Tecmo Super Bowl and WCW Wrestling for the NES (again, kinda cool).

6. The following comic books:

-Cyborg (based off the Van Damme film)
-She-Hulk #22
-Weird Science #1
-Aliens Special
-Spawn #174

Oh, and what else...lemme see...oh, right.

7. HIS FUCKING KIDNEY STONE IN A PLASTIC BAGGIE.

This isn't over, Count. I will get you for this insolence, no matter if it takes an eternity. YOU WILL BOW DOWN BEFORE ME! BOTH YOU -- AND THEN ONE DAY -- YOUR HEIRS!!!!!!!
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  #2  
Old 10-13-2010, 06:57 PM
Hey, I put a lot of thought into your box of goodies. There are miners in Chile right now who would KILL for a novelization of Vertical Limit. And the kidney stone came from my heart, thank you very much. I mean, not literally. It came out of my cock, but my cock has a heart the size of Texas!

Do I really need to explain the jump rope, you rotund son of a bitch? I thought I knew you. The next time I find half of a watch, I'll know who NOT to send it to.
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  #3  
Old 10-13-2010, 07:22 PM
Yeah, you can send it to your housekeeper/fluffer, Teri Garr.

Oh, and the pop tastes bitter. BOOOOOONG!
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  #4  
Old 10-13-2010, 10:14 PM
If you were given WCW wrestling for the NES, if its the one with The Road Warriors on the picture, then you have one of the best friends ever... i'm just sayin.
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  #5  
Old 10-13-2010, 10:30 PM
Hahahahahha

Wow
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  #6  
Old 10-13-2010, 10:56 PM
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  #7  
Old 10-13-2010, 11:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by A.J. Hakari View Post
4. A novelization of the motion picture Vertical Limit.
Wow, I laughed for awhile after reading that.


Quote:
Oh, and what else...lemme see...oh, right.

7. HIS FUCKING KIDNEY STONE IN A PLASTIC BAGGIE.
Nothing says, "I love you, Brah." like a kidney stone in a plastic baggie!


... Ew.
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  #8  
Old 10-14-2010, 01:00 AM
What are you guys naming the kidney stone?
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  #9  
Old 10-14-2010, 01:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbaStrangelove View Post
What are you guys naming the kidney stone?
I'm crossing my fingers for "Tweek".
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  #10  
Old 10-14-2010, 05:38 AM
Hakari if I had known you were in to collecting rocks I would have saved all 29 of my kidney stones over the past 8 years.

You'd have a whole goddamn sandbox to play in!
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  #11  
Old 10-14-2010, 05:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweek View Post
I'm crossing my fingers for "Tweek".
If the kidney is a girl, Tweek would be nice name for it
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  #12  
Old 10-14-2010, 06:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweek View Post
I'm crossing my fingers for "Tweek".
Which is sorta what you need to do to get out Ouch!!
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  #13  
Old 10-14-2010, 08:40 AM
Rad. Drink that Jolly Rancher shit and jump some fucking rope, son.

Hakari and Count = BFF's fa' life.
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  #14  
Old 10-14-2010, 08:53 AM
This gives me a whole new definition of Christmas gifts for buddies. Hopefully I get my brother-in-law again for secret santa this year. I got a grab bag of random vintage awesomeness and my dog's baby teeth.
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  #15  
Old 10-14-2010, 10:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by A.J. Hakari View Post
4. A novelization of the motion picture Vertical Limit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweek View Post
Wow, I laughed for awhile after reading that.
.
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  #16  
Old 10-14-2010, 10:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by countchocula View Post
Hey, I put a lot of thought into your box of goodies. There are miners in Chile right now who would KILL for a novelization of Vertical Limit. And the kidney stone came from my heart, thank you very much. I mean, not literally. It came out of my cock, but my cock has a heart the size of Texas!Do I really need to explain the jump rope, you rotund son of a bitch? I thought I knew you. The next time I find half of a watch, I'll know who NOT to send it to.
Hahaha
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  #17  
Old 10-14-2010, 12:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monotreme View Post
+1
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  #18  
Old 10-14-2010, 01:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monotreme View Post
2+
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  #19  
Old 10-14-2010, 03:59 PM
The animated GIF is somewhat accurate, but one kid needs to be in a wheelchair and the other kid needs to weigh 1,700 pounds.

Man, talk about ungrateful. It's the lack of thought that counts.
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  #20  
Old 10-15-2010, 12:26 AM
It's the Lack of Thought That's Count's.



That's the title of your TV Show. 22 minutes of hilarity, some tears, and sometimes we learn something.
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  #21  
Old 10-15-2010, 06:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monotreme View Post
GREATEST. GIF. EVER!


Seriously, I think I want that as my new avatar!
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  #22  
Old 10-15-2010, 05:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by countchocula View Post
The animated GIF is somewhat accurate, but one kid needs to be in a wheelchair and the other kid needs to weigh 1,700 pounds.
Don't forget that the wheelchair guy has to scream whenever the fat guy watches obscure Robert Altman movies.
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  #23  
Old 10-15-2010, 07:38 PM
I love you guys.


But don't every give me anything for Christmas, birthdays, or any occassion whatsoever.
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  #24  
Old 10-16-2010, 04:28 PM
This battle has just begun. Adam and I have waged war on one another. An epic showdown of epic proportions is about to erupt in an epic way. No one is safe.
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  #25  
Old 10-17-2010, 02:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by countchocula View Post
This battle has just begun. Adam and I have waged war on one another. An epic showdown of epic proportions is about to erupt in an epic way. No one is safe.
Come on, you two! You don't have to fight over me.





...
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  #26  
Old 10-17-2010, 03:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweek View Post
Come on, you two! You don't have to fight over me.
Shut up Tweek, this might actually be cool.
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