Dirty Frog on Dirty Frog : an essay on self-parody
Saw this on TV with Serge Gainsbourg interviewing himself in a slick video montage post-mortem. Thought i'd give it a try Dirty is the question , Frog is the answer.
Dirty: So what's you're real name ?
Frog : What ? I'm on the web ... I thought this was gonna be serious !!
Dirty: Sorry about that ... don't hit me again plz
Frog : Won't happen again if you stick to intelligent question.
Dirty: OK got it ... so let's try again
Frog : Sure
Dirty: So ... you like Joblo.com ?
Frog : Yeah , best site around to discuss movie and other stuff
Dirty: By best , you mean you troll all the forums about cinema ?
Frog : Nah , I'm a schmoe at heart. I don't post on other site.
Dirty: WTF is a schmoe ?
Frog : A Joblo.com poster you retard.
Dirty: Ah ok. Enough with the chit-chat. What's your favorite movie of all time ?
Frog : Depends ... i love a ton of movies but the one I saw the most often would be FLETCH.
Dirty: FLETCH ?!? That's an old movie isn't it ?
Frog : I'm old
Dirty: Really ? How old are you ?
Frog : 38
Dirty: 38 !!! That's really over the hill nowadays
Frog : well, Georges Clooney is almost 50 and young girls still fantasize about him.
Dirty: so you look like Georges Clooney ?
Frog : not at all .... my hairline is more like Jason Statham
Dirty: Statham !! he's ripped .... are you ripped ?
Frog : nope
Dirty: So basically you are ...
Frog : pretty average , i know ... move along
Dirty: Ever wished you played the main role of a movie ?
Frog : Yeah
Dirty: Mind if i ask which movie ?
Frog : Trainspotting
Dirty: That's not a family movie
Frog : So ? I look good on that poster.
Dirty: What do you mean ?
Frog : My friend photoshopped me in the poster .... that's me as Johnny Bravo in #3 and i really look that damn good !!
Dirty: Neat but who is Johnny Bravo ?
Frog : That's my old nickname when i was raving 5 years ago.
Dirty: Raving ? people still do that ?
Frog : Well . 1999-2006 was my big raving era. I'm just an average old Joe now.
Dirty: OK , based on that, let's go to next topic ... music. Everyone loves music. Do you ?
Frog : Of course
Dirty: Wanna tell me more ?
Frog : Sure
Dirty: Doesn't feel like you want to cooperate
Frog : Well , you don't go into specific.
Dirty: Fair enough. Let's start with style.
Frog : Metal , Industrial , Techno and Ambiant are my favorites. I won't turn down a good rock song tho.
Dirty: That's a lot of styles. Are you a music god ?
Frog : Well if you say so.
Dirty: Let's put you to the test. If i say : " FALA-LALA-LALALA-LA " ... what do you say ?
Frog : That's THUNDERSTRUCK from AC/DC.
Dirty: Damn you're good! Let's cut the crap and focus on what's really important :"Your favorite lap dance song"
Frog : Miss Kittin - Dub About Me would qualify
Dirty: That's a sexy song!
Frog : I know , right ?
Dirty: Ever got a lap dance on that song ?
Frog : Sadly , no. Freaking strippers have a poor selection of lap dance songs.
Dirty: Meaning ?
Frog : Well , not judging but Ke$ha ain't my thing.
Dirty: I concur ... she is still fuckable tho
Frog : Who isn't fuckable after 12 beers ?
Dirty: Good point. Let's move on and since we're talking about sex. You like girls ?
Frog : Pretty sure my gay friends also likes girl.
Dirty: So you are gay ?
Frog : Nope but i don't discriminate among my friends.
Dirty: How do you have gay friends if you are not an homo ?
Frog : Like i said before , i raved for 7 years. You kinda meet new people by the boat load.
Dirty: So you are not scared of Homos ?
Frog : Why would I ? The more homos , the more girls left for me. It's win-win !
Dirty: I see. You're like a modern Yoda
Frog : WTF ? Yoda never got laid.
Dirty: OK so you're more like a Hans Solo ?
Frog : What's with all the Star Wars analogy.
Frog : A gentleman never talks about his sex life.
Dirty: I see ... ok , last topic then.
Dirty: You seem like a pretty casual guy. What's your motto in life ?
Frog : I have plenty but my main motto would be : " If I laugh , it doesn't mean it's funny!"
Dirty: What does that mean ?
Frog : Well , the readers can figure it out if you can't.
Dirty: Thank you for your time.
Frog : NP
shinigami interviews shinigami
S: So what are you up to right now?
Don't rub it in
Dirty : Welcome back
Frog : You had me with the big bag of cheese doodles
Dirty: Sorry but those bad cynical comments deserved an answer.
Frog : *om nom nom* *om nom nom*
Dirty: Is that your reply ?
Frog : *gulp* NO ... i'm just enjoying those tasty Cheese Doodles.
Dirty: So , any comments on the comments ?
Frog : Not really , i'm mean ... the first interview was pointless to start with.
Frog : Just a random exercice in style to be honest.Pointing the obvious was obvious.
Dirty: I see , so are you like a troll on Joblo.com ?
Frog : God i hope not. Trolls are a nuisance.
Dirty: Care to explain ?
Frog : Well , it's like the Twilight movies. Most peoples complaining haven't even see the movie.
Dirty: Meaning ?
Frog : Meaning that people will try to put you down because they think it's cool to do so.
Dirty: Have you seen the Twilight movies ?
Frog : Nope ... not interested.
Dirty: Why would that be ? Vampires & Werewolves movie seems like a winner.
Frog : nah ... fuck the sparkling and the teeny romance!
Dirty: How about the 1st Underworld ? That's a cool movie , right ?
Frog : Well , Kate Beckinsale in a thight leather outfit is hard to resist. I found it enjoyable.
Dirty: So you think the negative replies were misguided ?
Frog : Well ... i think a nuclear warfare would be misguided if you ask me.
Dirty: Care to explain ?
Frog : Not really , i think it speaks for itself
Dirty: What if i give you another bag of Cheese Doodles ?
Frog : mmmmmmm
Dirty: Time is precious for our readers.
Frog : *om nom nom* *gulp* ok you got me ... what the F do you want to know ?
Dirty: Well , people reacted badly from our first interview. Joblo.com is a serious forum and
Dirty: people usually don't put up with random rambling posting. Bondgirl comes to mind. Are you the next
Dirty: Bondgirl ?
Frog : Not really. But i can say i like Bondgirl , sometime she's misguided but she's always honest.
Dirty: Joblo romance on the boiler ?
Frog : What ? you're confusing fact here mate. I like aussie girl as a fact but I need to interact
Frog : IRL with them for a final judgement.
Dirty: So the aussie thing is blown out of proportion ?
Frog : I fap'd to Yvonne Strahovsky a couple of times.
Dirty: You dont say ! Any other secrets you wanna share ?
Frog : Ok you got me ... not giving more ammo to my detractors.
Dirty: Are you saying you got detractors on Joblo.com ?
Frog : Not sure .... but who can tell in the anonimosity of the web. Some people get their kicks out of it.
Dirty: What do you get your kicks out of ?
Frog : a Zombie Apocalypse would be nice i think
Dirty: For real ? The end of the world as we know it ?
Frog : Everything is fine as long as i get to carry a shotgun i believe.
Dirty: Wow ... that was out of the blue.
Frog : Well i'm not afraid of honest opinion. Can I go now ?
Dirty: Sure but can i have your phone number in case some retard don't get your sense of humor.
Frog : There you go ... next time , get me some chicken wings tho. Cheese Doodles are ok but kinda cheap.
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