#1  
Old 12-12-2012, 09:17 PM
Dear Santa

Quote:
Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day. Merry Christmas, Timmy Jones

* *

Dear Timmy,

Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you something you can go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,* Santa Claus

* *

Mr. Claus,

Seeing that I have fulfilled the “Naughty vs. Nice” contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite? Respectfully, Tim Jones

* *

Mr. Jones,

While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours, S Claus

* *

Now look here Fat Man,

I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN! T-Bone

* *

Listen Pizza Face,

Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? “He sees you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you’re ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia. S Clizzy

* *

Dear Santa,

Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything. Timmy

* *

Timmy,

That’s what I thought you little bastard.

Santa
Dear Santa,
A safe plane ride would be appeciated. Grant the NY Giants better health. Let's make ole Erroneous an even 12 inches ha ha and peace on earth for at least a day.
Erroneous
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-12-2012, 09:34 PM
Dear Santa

I have been a very good girl this year and l was wondering if you will get me that purfume l want it is called Beautiful

Also do you want some milk and cake because l know you get so hungry on your journey around the world

Also do you have a summer Santa costume santa because it is getting very hot here in Australia and l dont want you to get sick

Oh dont forget about the suncream you will get very burnt if you dont wear it

Oh santa l dont have one of those chiminys you climb down to get into the lougeroom l will leave a window open for you if you want

I love you santa and hope you give me lots of presents this year grins

Hugs Santa l cant wait to see you on the 25 th of Dec

Love From Bondgirl XXX

Last edited by Bondgirl; 12-12-2012 at 09:41 PM..
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump