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  #1  
Old 02-27-2013, 06:14 PM
Do You beleive In Sex Before marriage or Do you Think That you Should Wait Until Marr

Well l know there is alot of religions out there which believe that men and women should wait until the marriage vows before they do it

But l have to say l am for sex before marriage it does give you a chance to find a proper partner and know if you are compatiable

Anyway do you beleive in sex before marriage or do you think you should wait until you ger married
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  #2  
Old 02-27-2013, 07:00 PM
I believe that sex was created by God for the institution of marriage, between one man and woman for life. I also know that ever since, human beings have corrupted it to suit different purposes. The whole "compatibility" issue is an excuse to "shack up"; any man and woman can be compatible, but it takes time, work, and selfless love. So much of what we see and hear about sex these days is lust-based, treating both genders like objects to be used, instead of people worthy of respect.
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  #3  
Old 02-27-2013, 08:00 PM
Well l have to agree that when you first meet it is lust at first sight and if you get to know that person it can Chang to love I also think a lot of men and women will use each other for sex and there is no commitment to each other but to have fun until the next person turns up I don't in other way agree to people using each other for that But for myself l couldn't shag every guy in sight and be used for that purpose l would like to get to know a person and hopefully the relationship works L don't play the field you can get hurt
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  #4  
Old 02-27-2013, 09:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moviefan2k4 View Post
I believe that sex was created by God for the institution of marriage, between one man and woman for life. I also know that ever since, human beings have corrupted it to suit different purposes. The whole "compatibility" issue is an excuse to "shack up"; any man and woman can be compatible, but it takes time, work, and selfless love. So much of what we see and hear about sex these days is lust-based, treating both genders like objects to be used, instead of people worthy of respect.
Speaking as an atheist (raised Catholic, not just Christian), I acknowledge your belief and respect your right to have it. The teachings of the Catholic Church themselves are great, I acknowledge that, and if one truly believes and practices, there's a good chance of living life as a good person because of it.

However, if you're making the judgment of "compatibility as an excuse," then I would highly recommend that you reconsider your position...because it's really missing the point. You're not even in the same ballpark.

Compatibility as an excuse? No sir (or ma'am, I don't know your gender), as horny as young people always are, and as each generation goes more extreme than the previous, you cannot blanket say that compatibility is just an excuse to have sex. That would be like me saying that priests should never be allowed to conduct sermons, lead in Sacraments, or preach abstinence to your fellow Christian brethren when their own organization is chock full of pedophiles that (to this day) have never been held responsible for their heinous, sinful acts with children (they just move from diocese to diocese, which is more of a vacation). How can you allow a man who belongs to such an organization that obviously doesn't practice celibacy to wield the power to declare a good, better practicing engaged couple married? Who the hell is he to declare that?

Psychologically, satisfaction in bed is a great criterion to have. Most people (ideally), when looking for a mate, always look for certain features. Some look for financial security, what kind of children they'll make together, how one makes the other feel (this one takes a while), what one is willing to do in certain situations, what some people are willing to accept (behavior-wise, etc.), and other things such as personality, sense of humor, looks, family background, and other crap that comes up while dating. With sexual compatibility in that mix, you're not only working to ensure happiness in regards to your intimacy (which really does affect how you carry yourself in your everyday life: if you're fully satisfied in bed, you're an all-around happier person), but you're also getting to know one more facet of that other person, and a pretty important one, too.

In religion, sex is taught to be one of the greatest acts and binds between two people, held in a higher regard than marriage. Why in the world would you leave that as an unknown until after you've decided to invest your better future (emotionally, financially, legally, etc.) with them? What if something happens during that intimacy that you absolutely will not tolerate? Too late, you're married...no backsies, unless you want a divorce.

One must not ignore sexual health as well as physical and emotional health of your mate. It's just as important. You can have all the love in the world for your spouse; but if you're not able to make them happy in the most intimate of settings, then what are you doing? I'm sorry to say, but sexual compatibility is very much important. "Time, work, and selfless love" don't mean a thing if you don't get results.

I have already explained how I think waiting until marriage is a gamble:
Quote:
As far as marriage is concerned, when you consider the cost, I think that marriage is one of the biggest gambles you'll ever take in life. You're not only giving up half of everything that you have ever built in your life on your own up to now, but also half of everything that you'll ever earn for the rest of your life. I don't know about you guys, but if I'm to commit to one thing, much less a person, and for the rest of my life, I would find it highly advisable to try a few samples before buying the whole thing, [sight unseen] ...

...I see something wrong [with] tell[ing] young people that in order to have sex and not have it be a sin in the eyes of God, then the price of admission is to abstain from all sexual activity (even masturbating) and then be in a fully committed, lifetime relationship with this person beforehand? Gimme a break.
This goes against the nature of humankind: to deny even yourself the satisfaction of sexual release when all of biology points to it. Abstinence is not a practice of discipline; it's a perversion of undeniable, basic human behavior under the veil of self-control. The worst of it is that religion has twisted reason to corrupt and imply that this simple act is wrong when there is no such thing as right or wrong to it. If you want to argue rape, incest, or other forms, go ahead. Just know that I'm referring to good old-fashioned sexual activity between two consenting parties (gay, straight, young, old, what have you).

Religion also has the stance that sex should only be preserved for the act of pro-creation, only for the means of creating life. Now this is Grade-A, all-encompassing, pure bullshit. With our biological advances in science and medicine, we have actually been able to afford to have sex as simple recreation without consequence for a very long time. So why not use this scientific marvel? Sure, there are cases where birth control has failed people, but that number is so negligible that the vast majority should have no fear. Sex only for having children? Please...I wouldn't be surprised if people that say that have never had a good time having sex (this is a joke, so relax).

Sorry for making another long post, but yeah...I had a bit to say...again.
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  #5  
Old 02-27-2013, 11:18 PM
Everyone should have sex and live together before they get married. If you really believe that marriage is an important, sacred bond, then you should know before you do it that you are truly compatible and happy, rather than forcing it later and living an unhappy life.

This is the year 2013. This shouldn't even be a question.
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  #6  
Old 02-28-2013, 12:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Badbird View Post
Everyone should have sex and live together before they get married. If you really believe that marriage is an important, sacred bond, then you should know before you do it that you are truly compatible and happy, rather than forcing it later and living an unhappy life.

This is the year 2013. This shouldn't even be a question.
Wow, nailed it! I'm glad more people are starting to think this way. I don't know a single couple that slept together and lived together before getting married that have gotten divorced. Giving it a trial run before is crucial to determining whether or not two people are compatible. Great post, Badbird
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  #7  
Old 02-28-2013, 12:20 AM
Not living with or having sex with the person you're going to marry sounds risky.
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  #8  
Old 02-28-2013, 02:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Exophrine View Post
Speaking as an atheist (raised Catholic, not just Christian), I acknowledge your belief and respect your right to have it. The teachings of the Catholic Church themselves are great, I acknowledge that, and if one truly believes and practices, there's a good chance of living life as a good person because of it.
I have many problems with the traditions of the Catholic church, and I'm sorry you grew up under that. I grew up around a lot of hellfire preaching, and it drove me away from God for a while. Ultimately though, the point of Christianity is not to be a "good person", because none truly exist in God's eyes. We're all sinners, and we're saved not by works, but through repentance and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. No one's perfect, but that's not a valid reason to do what you know in your heart is wrong. Church services are a hospital for the fallen, not a country club for saints.

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I don't know your gender
My name is Josh; that should give you a clue.

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...as horny as young people always are, and as each generation goes more extreme than the previous, you cannot blanket say that compatibility is just an excuse to have sex. That would be like me saying that priests should never be allowed to conduct sermons, lead in Sacraments, or preach abstinence to your fellow Christian brethren when their own organization is chock full of pedophiles...
Any man and woman are already physically compatible; its obvious. However, the emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects must be learned, and marriage is the only truly safe shelter for erotic desires. Any married couple can have a great sex life, if they're willing to work together for it.

Quote:
How can you allow a man who belongs to such an organization that obviously doesn't practice celibacy to wield the power to declare a good, better practicing engaged couple married? Who the hell is he to declare that?
I wouldn't let a pedophile perform a marriage, regardless of his or her beliefs. Sexually abusing anyone is a sin, and should not be tolerated. That's one of many reasons I'm not a Catholic.

Quote:
Psychologically, satisfaction in bed is a great criterion to have. Most people (ideally), when looking for a mate, always look for certain features. Some look for financial security, what kind of children they'll make together, how one makes the other feel (this one takes a while), what one is willing to do in certain situations, what some people are willing to accept (behavior-wise, etc.), and other things such as personality, sense of humor, looks, family background, and other crap that comes up while dating. With sexual compatibility in that mix, you're not only working to ensure happiness in regards to your intimacy (which really does affect how you carry yourself in your everyday life: if you're fully satisfied in bed, you're an all-around happier person), but you're also getting to know one more facet of that other person, and a pretty important one, too.
All of that is true, but here's a crucial question: what's wrong with committing yourself to your beloved in marriage, and keeping sex sacred between you? There's a huge relief in knowing that you'll never have to be alone, and this aspect of your lives will be safely reserved for you both only.

[/quote]In religion, sex is taught to be one of the greatest acts and binds between two people, held in a higher regard than marriage. Why in the world would you leave that as an unknown until after you've decided to invest your better future (emotionally, financially, legally, etc.) with them? What if something happens during that intimacy that you absolutely will not tolerate? Too late, you're married...no backsies, unless you want a divorce.[/quote]First, not all religions teach that, and those that do are wrong. Sex was designed by God to be the ultimate mortal example of His love and intimacy on every level, between a husband and wife. Marriage was not created as a contract that expires when one spouse gets tired or angry; its a covenant to be honored regardless, until death. The only righteous reasons for divorce are abuse and infidelity.

Quote:
One must not ignore sexual health as well as physical and emotional health of your mate. It's just as important. You can have all the love in the world for your spouse; but if you're not able to make them happy in the most intimate of settings, then what are you doing? I'm sorry to say, but sexual compatibility is very much important. "Time, work, and selfless love" don't mean a thing if you don't get results.
If both spouses are equally willing to put the same effort into it, results will happen. If they don't, someone is holding out.

Quote:
This goes against the nature of humankind: to deny even yourself the satisfaction of sexual release when all of biology points to it.
Sex is not meant only for the self, but for sharing with your spouse. As much as you may want to have your fill in bed, your main focus should be satisfying your mate.

Quote:
Abstinence is not a practice of discipline; it's a perversion of undeniable, basic human behavior under the veil of self-control.
How so?

Quote:
The worst of it is that religion has twisted reason to corrupt and imply that this simple act is wrong when there is no such thing as right or wrong to it. If you want to argue rape, incest, or other forms, go ahead. Just know that I'm referring to good old-fashioned sexual activity between two consenting parties (gay, straight, young, old, what have you).
Is that statement right or wrong? Where does atheism source its morality from? Is there a moral standard which results from unguided chemical processes? The very notion of right and wrong is sourced in objectivity, but atheism has no inherent source for that. Its the self-defeating cycle of saying you're absolutely certain no absolutes exist.

Quote:
Religion also has the stance that sex should only be preserved for the act of pro-creation, only for the means of creating life. Now this is Grade-A, all-encompassing, pure bullshit.
That teaching is not only ridiculous, but non-Biblical as well. One of the most erotic books ever written is the Song of Solomon, which details the intimacy between a king and his bride. Sex is meant for many purposes, including children, but its also to bond a husband and wife together in ways nothing else can.

Quote:
With our biological advances in science and medicine, we have actually been able to afford to have sex as simple recreation without consequence for a very long time. So why not use this scientific marvel?
Because its unloving and abusive to both people involved. Do you really want to share your body, heart, and mind with a different person every night, knowing full well they don't love, honor, or trust you one bit? I wouldn't, and I certainly don't know of anyone who would.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Preston_79 View Post
Not living with or having sex with the person you're going to marry sounds risky.
It is a challenge, but that's the point: are you willing to truly commit yourself to this person for life, before sharing such a special experience? So many married people in different polls have said they wished they'd have waited for their spouse.
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  #9  
Old 02-28-2013, 03:58 AM
i am not a sexual person, nor do i belive in marriage. however, i don't think you should wait after marriage. only because what if after you get married, that you find your partner to be really bad at it or boring, etc? it's not as easy to take it back or return it for something that fits you better. ironically, my neighbours are having loud sex right now as i type this.
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  #10  
Old 02-28-2013, 05:03 AM
I don't frown upon premarital sex... but as long as you've got two hands is it really necessary?
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  #11  
Old 02-28-2013, 05:06 AM
Of cause when you have one night stand you don't know the person but if you decide to get to know one another trust honesty can grow
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  #12  
Old 02-28-2013, 05:15 AM
I meaning this if you are not married or have a girlfriend or that person you are with isn't cheating on you l have to say also l wouldn't get involved with some who lies or is in the middle of a break up of a marriage before you intend to sleep with some one you have to think straight on what you are getting involved in so yes you can have sex before marriage but you have to know who that person is

Last edited by Bondgirl; 02-28-2013 at 05:24 AM..
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  #13  
Old 02-28-2013, 10:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bondgirl View Post
Of cause when you have one night stand you don't know the person but if you decide to get to know one another trust honesty can grow
That trust and honesty should be in place before you ever hop in the sack with someone. Sex is supposed to be an expression of selfless love and commitment, not a method of searching for it.
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  #14  
Old 02-28-2013, 11:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moviefan2k4 View Post
Sex is supposed to be an expression of selfless love and commitment, not a method of searching for it.
Some girls just want you to pull on their hair and fuck 'em doggy style.
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  #15  
Old 02-28-2013, 12:14 PM
Do I believe in sex before marriage? Yes, yes I do. I don't understand the logic of not living and having sex with the person you potentially want to spend the rest of your life with. You would think getting an idea of what both parties are working with would smooth things over, hopefully. Otherwise, I'd be pretty upset if I found out my wife reeked of a fish market.
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  #16  
Old 02-28-2013, 12:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Preston_79 View Post
Some girls just want you to pull on their hair and...
Can we please refrain with all the crude language around here? Women are to be respected and treasured, not used or taken for granted.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roy Batty View Post
Do I believe in sex before marriage? Yes, yes I do. I don't understand the logic of not living and having sex with the person you potentially want to spend the rest of your life with. You would think getting an idea of what both parties are working with would smooth things over, hopefully. Otherwise, I'd be pretty upset if I found out my wife reeked of a fish market.
The key error in this is the word "potentially". Marriage was created as a holy union of lifelong commitment, short only of abuse or infidelity. That institution is the only safe place for such expressions, because you never have to worry about being abandoned at a moment's notice. Divorce has become so easy nowadays, and its disheartening. "Shacking up" is nothing but an excuse for two people to selfishly use each other.
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  #17  
Old 02-28-2013, 12:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moviefan2k4 View Post
I have many problems with the traditions of the Catholic church, and I'm sorry you grew up under that. I grew up around a lot of hellfire preaching, and it drove me away from God for a while. Ultimately though, the point of Christianity is not to be a "good person", because none truly exist in God's eyes. We're all sinners, and we're saved not by works, but through repentance and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. No one's perfect, but that's not a valid reason to do what you know in your heart is wrong. Church services are a hospital for the fallen, not a country club for saints.

My name is Josh; that should give you a clue.

Any man and woman are already physically compatible; its obvious. However, the emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects must be learned, and marriage is the only truly safe shelter for erotic desires. Any married couple can have a great sex life, if they're willing to work together for it.

I wouldn't let a pedophile perform a marriage, regardless of his or her beliefs. Sexually abusing anyone is a sin, and should not be tolerated. That's one of many reasons I'm not a Catholic.

All of that is true, but here's a crucial question: what's wrong with committing yourself to your beloved in marriage, and keeping sex sacred between you? There's a huge relief in knowing that you'll never have to be alone, and this aspect of your lives will be safely reserved for you both only.

Quote:
In religion, sex is taught to be one of the greatest acts and binds between two people, held in a higher regard than marriage. Why in the world would you leave that as an unknown until after you've decided to invest your better future (emotionally, financially, legally, etc.) with them? What if something happens during that intimacy that you absolutely will not tolerate? Too late, you're married...no backsies, unless you want a divorce.
First, not all religions teach that, and those that do are wrong. Sex was designed by God to be the ultimate mortal example of His love and intimacy on every level, between a husband and wife. Marriage was not created as a contract that expires when one spouse gets tired or angry; its a covenant to be honored regardless, until death. The only righteous reasons for divorce are abuse and infidelity.

If both spouses are equally willing to put the same effort into it, results will happen. If they don't, someone is holding out.

Sex is not meant only for the self, but for sharing with your spouse. As much as you may want to have your fill in bed, your main focus should be satisfying your mate.

How so?

Is that statement right or wrong? Where does atheism source its morality from? Is there a moral standard which results from unguided chemical processes? The very notion of right and wrong is sourced in objectivity, but atheism has no inherent source for that. Its the self-defeating cycle of saying you're absolutely certain no absolutes exist.

That teaching is not only ridiculous, but non-Biblical as well. One of the most erotic books ever written is the Song of Solomon, which details the intimacy between a king and his bride. Sex is meant for many purposes, including children, but its also to bond a husband and wife together in ways nothing else can.

Because its unloving and abusive to both people involved. Do you really want to share your body, heart, and mind with a different person every night, knowing full well they don't love, honor, or trust you one bit? I wouldn't, and I certainly don't know of anyone who would.

It is a challenge, but that's the point: are you willing to truly commit yourself to this person for life, before sharing such a special experience? So many married people in different polls have said they wished they'd have waited for their spouse.
[/quote]

You're hilarious.
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  #18  
Old 02-28-2013, 01:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moviefan2k4 View Post
Can we please refrain with all the crude language around here? Women are to be respected and treasured, not used or taken for granted.
If I'm bending a girl over at her request it's not a sign of disrespect. You're put the pussy on a pedestal.
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  #19  
Old 02-28-2013, 01:44 PM
Well what moviefan is saying is the there are women present in this thread
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  #20  
Old 02-28-2013, 01:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Bondgirl View Post
Well what moviefan is saying is the there are women present in this thread
And women are equal, not fucking princesses that need to be coddled. You're not helping your gender.
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  #21  
Old 02-28-2013, 01:47 PM
Well you also say the marriage is for life bur why do so many couples split
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  #22  
Old 02-28-2013, 01:52 PM
I expect the girls in these forums, just like the men, to have a high tolerance to becoming offended.
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  #23  
Old 02-28-2013, 01:56 PM
I was getting a little off track women are equal to some edstent and of cause we do have to be told what to do or how to act LIKE L have if you as a woman or man want to have sex before it is up to them if you are religious you do what you want on the marriage front
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  #24  
Old 02-28-2013, 02:24 PM
Here it comes, folks...a big-ass post.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moviefan2k4 View Post
No one's perfect, but that's not a valid reason to do what you know in your heart is wrong.
To what exactly are you referring?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moviefan2k4 View Post
Any man and woman are already physically compatible; its obvious. However, the emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects must be learned, and marriage is the only truly safe shelter for erotic desires. Any married couple can have a great sex life, if they're willing to work together for it.
If by "physically compatible" you're referring to the mere possession of genitalia, then you're missing your own point...I do disagree that only marriage can facilitate this learning. Once again, you're not learning anything until you get hitched, committed, and are seemingly forever tied to them, and THEN you're learning all of these new things about them, after you're off the market and settled down? I can't do that. As a simple matter of practicality, I can't pay that price just to learn more about someone. To me, that's what dating is for. To marry at any point before that is just exercising bad judgment.

What you're suggesting to do in marriage is effectively to force the time, work, and endless love when you don't need to. You shouldn't have to force any of that, you shouldn't have to make it work if it's not...if you are, then it's not working. It should just come naturally to you...you can stick with someone through an illness or some major disaster, sure, but if they don't love you back during that period, forcing it to work isn't helping.

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All of that is true, but here's a crucial question: what's wrong with committing yourself to your beloved in marriage, and keeping sex sacred between you?
Absolutely nothing...what I'm against is not fully knowing the person before getting hitched, and that also includes knowing them as a sexual person. You could fall in love with a seemingly innocent, nice person and then find out that they're a total sex freak that you can't be with. But you won't know any of that until you've tied the knot, to which I say thanks, but no thanks. To use a tired metaphor: you gotta take the car out for a test drive before deciding on buying it.

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Sex was designed by God to be the ultimate mortal example of His love and intimacy on every level, between a husband and wife. Marriage was not created as a contract that expires when one spouse gets tired or angry; its a covenant to be honored regardless, until death. The only righteous reasons for divorce are abuse and infidelity.
I wouldn't speak in absolutes...that'll always get you into trouble. <-- ironic joke here
All of that is nice and everything, but for those who don't believe...well, what's for them?

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Sex is not meant only for the self, but for sharing with your spouse. As much as you may want to have your fill in bed, your main focus should be satisfying your mate.
It actually depends on certain circumstances. Like, say, if it's your birthday or Christmas, or if you just did something awesome that really impressed the other person, then it's all about you.

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How so?
I would have thought my previous explanation would have explained it. We are all biologically predisposed since puberty to go out and multiply. However, some of us have discovered the fun and great feelings that sex has. It's only natural to want to have some sort of sexual release, men and women alike. It's also necessary; we're like pressure valves, and we've got to let some steam out every once in a while to keep ourselves sane and relaxed. Otherwise, there's going to be some hurt, either on you or someone around you. Like it or not, you get built up inside with sexual tension, and it's going to come out...sex, masturbation, a wet dream, it doesn't matter. The body will find a way.

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Is that statement right or wrong?
Neither, it's only a statement of mere fact...

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Where does atheism source its morality from? Is there a moral standard which results from unguided chemical processes? The very notion of right and wrong is sourced in objectivity, but atheism has no inherent source for that.
You're right, there is no inherent source for Atheist morality...we don't need a Bible or some character within to clearly draw the lines for us to follow.

But don't go thinking that your morality has a solid base either. In fact, you don't have any morality at all, same as me. You may think you do, but you don't. Why not? Because you were given Commandments, which is purely just a set of rules given by a mysterious supernatural who said "do these things" and you'll go to Heaven for everlasting life. If you disobey, you'll go to Hell for everlasting torment.

Sounds like a zero-sum game, but it's certainly no basis for morality. At best, it's a negotiation; everybody wants to have the good afterlife in Heaven, so they try to live a good life on Earth to ensure their ticket to the pearly gates. It's based on personal gain, and that should never serve as a reason for noble behavior. Morality isn't based on reward or punishment (Heaven or Hell), you shouldn't do nice things so you'll be rewarded in death; you should act that way simply just to act that way.

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Because its unloving and abusive to both people involved. Do you really want to share your body, heart, and mind with a different person every night, knowing full well they don't love, honor, or trust you one bit? I wouldn't, and I certainly don't know of anyone who would.
You do now. Fuck yes, I would...if for no other reason than to bask in the many joys and splendors of variety, I would definitely share my being with as many as possible. I'd take that chance to whet my appetite for different flavors of love in a heartbeat.

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It is a challenge, but that's the point: are you willing to truly commit yourself to this person for life, before sharing such a special experience? So many married people in different polls have said they wished they'd have waited for their spouse.
...and so many divorced couples said that they wish they didn't wait and started having sex sooner. This is another issue I have with abstinence: you willingly choose not to have this experience that you (at this point) have absolutely no idea of what it's like, and when you do, it's with someone that you're stuck with, and you have no other options. Just when you finally feel how great it feels with one person (and you think to yourself "I wonder how good it feels with other people"), you realize you can't do that. That option is off the table for you, and you're stuck with this one person, and that's it.

So what then? Well, one of two things:
1) Divorce: the most common route. Now that this person has had sex, they wanna keep on having sex, and with different people.
-- It's costly, but they get the life they finally want.
2) Depression: now having known how sex feels and the euphoria is brings, they realize their position. It would cost more to leave the person than to stay married to them. It's cheaper to keep her, so they stuff their true feelings deep down and spend the rest of their married life as a miserable person, always wondering what could have been.

I see that in a lot of what you say, you combine love and sex to mean one and the same, and I personally do not hold to that. It's a fine line that's difficult to see, and if you're not careful enough to toe that line, then you get into all sorts of trouble, I'll give you that. But there is a discernible difference between the physical and emotional, between love and lust. Sex can be an expression of love, and it can definitely help love along; but don't blur that line, don't get them confused. The mere failure to do that alone has caused countless couples to split unnecessarily (it's not the only cause, but it's definitely up there). Love and lust are two very different things. It's important to know the difference...just because you sleep with someone doesn't necessarily mean that you love them.

Last edited by Exophrine; 02-28-2013 at 11:22 PM..
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  #25  
Old 02-28-2013, 02:39 PM
Very interesting post and l have to say there was a mixture of everything l do feel that a lot of religious people want to go back to the day a woman obeys every command of a man well in this day it won't happen
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  #26  
Old 02-28-2013, 04:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bondgirl View Post
Well you also say the marriage is for life bur why do so many couples split
I most certainly did not.
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  #27  
Old 02-28-2013, 04:48 PM
Of course people can have sex before they are married. Sex is a very natural thing. It's human instinct.

marriage is just a contract between two people.

Not having sex with someone before you get married is like not having to test drive a car before you buy it.
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  #28  
Old 02-28-2013, 04:59 PM
It looks like Lynne7 has been resurrected.
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  #29  
Old 02-28-2013, 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by adamjohnson View Post
I most certainly did not.
I am confused geez l should have slept in this morning can you please explain abut more
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  #30  
Old 02-28-2013, 05:10 PM
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Originally Posted by SL Dubbs View Post
Of course people can have sex before they are married. Sex is a very natural thing. It's human instinct.

marriage is just a contract between two people.

Not having sex with someone before you get married is like not having to test drive a car before you buy it.
This is a good statement
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  #31  
Old 02-28-2013, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Badbird View Post
It looks like Lynne7 has been resurrected.
Ya I should be someone else because you queued in on this shit about 24 hours and some odd what minutes earlier right?
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  #32  
Old 02-28-2013, 07:22 PM
[unpopular opinion ] Personally, I kind of think people in general are just WAY too preoccupied with sex. I mean, how else do you explain the existence of such things as sexual harrassment, child molestation, unplanned pregnancy, abortion, and rape? They're all byproducts of sex/sexuality. What started off as merely the incentive for us to procreate has morphed into something else completely. You could argue it's become just another drug... and like any other drug, there are going to be some who will end up abusing it. And, unfortunately, you can't turn off sexual urges like a lightswitch. : / I sometimes can't help but wonder if we as a species would be any further along now progress-wise if every person who's ever been alive would've been able to take just HALF of the time they've devoted to indulging their sexuality and channel it into something more... productive. [/unpopular opinion]
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  #33  
Old 02-28-2013, 07:55 PM
Who cares in my opinion. If they want to wait... let them. Won't stop me from not waiting.
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  #34  
Old 02-28-2013, 11:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hoojib127 View Post
I mean, how else do you explain the existence of such things as sexual harrassment, child molestation, unplanned pregnancy, abortion, and rape? They're all byproducts of sex/sexuality.
It is far more complex than that. Those are a variety of social problems that all stem from separate issues. Sexual harassment is the result of people not learning how to behave in a civilized society (and are usually major assholes); unplanned pregnancy and abortion lie right at the feet of poor sex education; child molestation can be any number of issues, mental health being just one; and rape is just a fucking crime perpetrated by psychos.

The vast majority of humanity engages in health sexual behavior that results in none of that. We are wired for sex and most of us do it the right way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SL Dubbs View Post
Ya I should be someone else because you queued in on this shit about 24 hours and some odd what minutes earlier right?
Uh... come again?

(I was referring to Moviefan2k4, by the way.)
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  #35  
Old 02-28-2013, 11:45 PM
Yes, I believe there in sex before marriage.
It exists. It happens.
I have heard a lot of people talk about. I wish I was one of them.

Now, sex AFTER marriage?... that's less common.

I agree with others who think it's important to know your potential life partner emotionally AND physically. You don't have to have the same worldviews and/or opinion of major issues as long as you have that indefinable bond, the "chemistry", which makes being a couple work.

If any of these things aren't working out, you're probably going to have to compromise more in your married future than you would wish to.
It's fine to respect your religion. I just don't think it's a good idea to go into a lifelong commitment with someone, never realizing one partner likes it rough, hard, "ooh whip me so hard I BLEEED!" and the other just wants to be quiet - even sexually uninterested - with atypical aspirations for the concept of conceiving and/or just "doing it" and getting it over with.
There HAS to be a good physical connection, and not being privy to this beforehand is a BIG mistake. I'm not saying just screw around, but if you think that marriage is a possibility in the future, it's good to understand where both sides stand on sex.

Communication is always important, and discussing your desires physically will help you and your partner understand each other better. Sex is physical communication.
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  #36  
Old 03-01-2013, 12:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Badbird View Post
It is far more complex than that. Those are a variety of social problems that all stem from separate issues. Sexual harassment is the result of people not learning how to behave in a civilized society (and are usually major assholes); unplanned pregnancy and abortion lie right at the feet of poor sex education; child molestation can be any number of issues, mental health being just one; and rape is just a fucking crime perpetrated by psychos.

The vast majority of humanity engages in healthy sexual behavior that results in none of that. We are wired for sex and most of us do it the right way.
Yes, I realize the abusers are a minority... but, again, do you REALLY think any of those things would exist if it wasn't for that basic sexual instinct? And I'm sure there are plenty of people who had sufficient sex educations who still end up producing unplanned pregnancies/'oopsie-daisy' children. (Another thing I failed to mention in my initial post was STDs.)

I've frankly never understood why the vast majority of people want to jump into bed with someone as soon as their 'equipment' starts to properly function ... and/or to lose their virginity purely for the sake of it. Is sex REALLY that important to roughly 99% of the population? I guess in this case, I am the one percent. I have a lot of unconventional/unorthodox views about various things in the world, but this subject is really the only one for which I've literally never been able to encounter at least ONE other person who also shares the same opinion. : /

But my biggest issue is this: too many people are procreating. There are now over 7 billion people on this planet -- that's already DOUBLE what it was just 50+ years ago. But people still turn a blind eye to the fact that the more people there are living on this planet, the faster its natural resources will be used up. Yes, we personally will all likely be gone by the time that happens, but it's hardly fair for future generations. It's just another example of humanity's general contentment to live only for the present (much like the other animals of the world, albeit in a much less immediate moment-to-moment fashion), without giving too much thought about the more distant future. It's a wonder we're not still living in caves and wearing loincloths.
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  #37  
Old 03-01-2013, 01:40 AM
I'm saving myself for Salma Hayek
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  #38  
Old 03-01-2013, 01:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hoojib127 View Post
Yes, I realize the abusers are a minority... but, again, do you REALLY think any of those things would exist if it wasn't for that basic sexual instinct? And I'm sure there are plenty of people who had sufficient sex educations who still end up producing unplanned pregnancies/'oopsie-daisy' children. (Another thing I failed to mention in my initial post was STDs.)
There are too many STUPID people in this world, and they are too stupid to be mature and intelligent when it comes to sex. There is PLENTY of stuff out there to prevent pregnancy.
As for STDs....
A monogamous relationship will leave only those two exposed to each others' nastiness. STDs wouldn't get spread if people USED PROTECTION, and especially if they had partners who were not just honest and didn't sleep around on them, but if they DID have something they tell their partner about it.
There will always be morons in this world who won't do something simple like use birth control or wear a condom. That's on them.
Quote:
I've frankly never understood why the vast majority of people want to jump into bed with someone as soon as their 'equipment' starts to properly function ... and/or to lose their virginity purely for the sake of it. Is sex REALLY that important to roughly 99% of the population? I guess in this case, I am the one percent. I have a lot of unconventional/unorthodox views about various things in the world, but this subject is really the only one for which I've literally never been able to encounter at least ONE other person who also shares the same opinion. : /
I never would tell people to "jump into bed with someone as soon as their equipment starts to properly function".
I don't encourage wild, wanton sex orgies.
I mention that two people who are even CONSIDERING marriage are in a logical position to see if they have sexual compatibility. This has no bearing AT ALL to becoming a "sex freak".

Quote:
But my biggest issue is this: too many people are procreating.
With this argument, it seems you don't want anyone to be making babies. It's not the fault of unmarried couples, either. In this case some of the biggest offenders are Catholics and Mormons.
I agree there's overpopulation, but it's not those "sexual deviants who have premarital sex" that are only to blame.
I go back to the comment about being SMART and using birth control.
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  #39  
Old 03-01-2013, 06:53 AM
well this is tough. but in my opinion one should make pros and cons list before even thinking about any kind of relationship. maybe I'm too harsh on this one, but believe me it works
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  #40  
Old 03-01-2013, 01:37 PM
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Originally Posted by echo_bravo View Post
I'm saving myself for Salma Hayek
Now that's true courage...I commend you, sir.
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