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Old 07-04-2002, 03:22 AM
write in with your fav. and the best "The Simpsons" quote

the best simspon quote and my favourite is:

Bart: We're just been planning our father/son rafting trip.
Homer: Hehe. You don't have a son.
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Old 07-04-2002, 10:13 AM
Homer: "I was impressed, and I don't become impressed easily. *GASP* Look! A blue car!"
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Old 07-04-2002, 10:47 AM
I have soo many that I'm afraid that I will not be doing this glorious show any justice by posting just one quote..but here's a few that come off the top of my head

Burns and Smither's are in a plane
Burns: Smither's, take her down
Smithers: Er, you're flying the plane sir.
Burns: Excellent
Burns: Do you think that, maybe it was my plant that killed those ducks?
Smithers: there's no maybe about it sir.
Burns: *sniff* Excellent
Burns: Furious George! What did they do to your face??.....Smithers, this monkey's going to need most of your skin.
Skinner: Sweet vigilant puma, principal of the mountains
Milhouse:Why did I have the bowl Bart, why did I have the bowl?
Larry Burns: Oh and I stepped on one of your peacocks, have you got a paper towell?
Robot flees out of science museum on fire:
Why? Why was I programmed to feel pain?
Homer: OooH confused would we??
Marge: What?? I'm not the one who put butter in your coffee!
Grampa: mmM I can't wait to eat that monkey
Moody Blues: Can the poems it's arse whoopin time!
I want fatty.
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Old 07-04-2002, 11:35 AM
Homer:Kids! Don't worry, I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.

Bart:What about Abe Lincon?

Homer:He sold poison milk to school children.

lol Just trying to typr this is hard enough 'cause it's so funny!

Bart:You da man Homer!
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Old 07-04-2002, 02:14 PM
Moe: They think that they're so high and mighty just because they never got caught driving without pants!
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Old 07-04-2002, 02:22 PM
"Homer, did you eat 64 slices of cheese?"

"I think I'm blind"
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Old 07-04-2002, 03:06 PM
My fav come from the Simpons vs. New York episode:

Homer: "What do you got to drink?"
Street Vendor: "Mountain Dew & Crab Juice"
Homer: "EWWW! GOD!!! UGH!!! Gimme a Crab Juice."
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Old 07-04-2002, 05:23 PM
"i could do alot of things if i had some money"-a very drunk homer.
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Old 07-04-2002, 08:30 PM
Homer (singing to the tune of The Flintstones): “Simpson, Homer Simpson, he’s the greatest guy in history, from the, town of Springfield, he’s about to hit a chestnut tree.” *Crash* “ D’oh!”

Homer: “No TV and no beer make homer go… something something.”
Marge: “Go crazy?”
Homer “Don’t mind if I do!”

Lisa: “Is that what we do to a family member when they become an inconvenience, just get rid of them?”
Then we see Grandpa Simpson in the old folks home sitting by the phone. He picks up the phone without it ringing.
Grandpa: “Hello? Is anyone there?… I’m so lonely.”

Homer: "How much does this job pay?"
Lenny: "Nothing"
Homer: "D'oh!"
Lenny: "Unless you're crooked."
Homer: "Woohoo!"

Mr. Burns : "We don't have to be adversaries Homer, we both want a fair Union contract."
Homer’s Brain: “Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?"
Mr. Burns : "And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours!"
Homer’s Brain : "Wait a minute, is he coming onto me?"
Mr. Burns : "I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?"
Homer’s Brain : "Oh my God! He is coming onto me!"
Burns : "After all, negotiations make strange bed-fellows” *Friendly Laugh*
Homer’s Brain : "Aggh!"
Homer: "Sorry Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no.”

Homer: "Stealing? How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what’s-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you?”

Judge: “I find Krusty The Clown Guilty”
Krusty’s Lawyer: “Arggh! That always happens!”

Homer: “Here are your messages Mr. Burns. ‘You have thirty minutes to move your car’ ‘You have twenty minutes to move your car’ ‘You have ten minutes to move your car.’ ‘Your car has been impounded.’ ‘Your car has been crushed into a cube.’ ‘You have thirty minutes to move your cube.’”

Man: “You must be stupider then you look.”
Homer: “Stupider like a fox!”

Homer: “It’s not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day.”
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Old 07-04-2002, 10:05 PM
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Silverload:
Homer (singing to the tune of The Flintstones): “Simpson, Homer Simpson, he’s the greatest guy in history, from the, town of Springfield, he’s about to hit a chestnut tree.” *Crash* “ D’oh!”

Man: “You must be stupider then you look.”
Homer: “Stupider like a fox!”

Both those are classics to which I'd add

Homer: "I'm like that guy who single handedly built the rocket and flew to the moon, what was his name?... Apollo Creed??

Homer: "My bologny has a first name its H-O-M-E-R, my bologny has a second name its H-O-M-E-R."

Some great Bart chalkboard writings:

I will not carve gods.

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.

I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.

I will not go near the kindergarten turtle

The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".

I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment

I will not torment the emotionally frail.

"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.
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Old 07-04-2002, 10:10 PM
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Old 07-05-2002, 01:26 AM
Homer on the phone: "They were the biggest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. I mean they sucked like they never sucked before."

Marge enters with the kids: "Homer, watch your mouth in front of the children."

Homer into phone: "I gotta go, my damn kids are here".
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Old 07-05-2002, 07:03 AM
Bart reading Homer's love letter to Marge:

Homer: Marge, you have a butt that won't quit. and i just wanna...(mumbling)...FIVE DOLLARS. get outta here!

Homer: Son, a woman is a lot like a beer. they're sweet, irresistable and you'd step over your own mother to get one. but one's not enough. you gotta get another.

Ranier Wolfecastle: My bologny has a first name, it's R-A-N-I-E-R. My bologny has a second name it's A-O-H-J-L-E-M-S-S-I-H-G-H...

Homer: i pity those poor suckers out on the road. gas,brake,honk. gas,break,honk. honk,honk, PUNCH. gas,gas,gas.

i'm not sure if this is the proper way of saying this but,

Grandpa: Homer is not a communist. sure he's a father, a husband, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Rd. Lovejoy: what's important here is that God was working in each fellow man, whether he be Christian, Jewish, or...miscellaneous.
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Old 07-05-2002, 10:37 AM
Jose Flanders: Buenos ding dong diddly dias senor.

Classic Homer Quotes:
"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"

"God bless those pagans."

"I never apologize Lisa, I'm sorry but that's just the way I am."

Faith: Lisa, I'm Faith Crawley, Patriosm Editor of Reading Digest.
Homer: Oh, love your magazine. My favourite section is 'How to improve your Word Power'. That thing is really, really, really .....good.

"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

"Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that."

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here."

Other Characters
Comic Book Guy: Last's night Itchy and Scratchy was without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the internet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world.
Bart: Hey, I know it wasn't great, but what right do you have to complain?
Comic Book Guy: As a loyal viewer I feel they owe me.
Bart: What? They've given you thousands of hours of entertainment for free! What could they possibly owe you.
Comic Book Guy: Worst episode ever.

Ralph Wiggum: Me fail English that's unpossible.

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Old 07-05-2002, 08:07 PM
Employer: Ok Homer, what's your area of expertise?
Homer: I can tell the difference between butter and 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter'.
Employer: No you can't! Nobody can!
Homer: Oh, you're right, I'm a fraud!!!
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Old 07-05-2002, 08:19 PM
Maude Flanders: We're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty: Sex Cauldron?! I thought they closed that place down!


Offshore Holdings Corporations Manager: I'm sorry, I can't divulge any details about that client's secret, illegal account. (hangs up phone) Oh crap, I shouldn't have said he was a client. Oh crap, I shouldn't have said it was a secret. Oh crap, I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal! Oh, it's too hot today...
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Old 07-05-2002, 10:56 PM
Comic book store guy:Now,Make like my pants and split.

Ralph Wiggum:Hi Lisa. Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers.
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Old 07-06-2002, 05:28 AM
When Homer sees a homeless man in a dumpster

"Ah, just like Oscar The Grouch."
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Old 07-06-2002, 04:50 PM
Homer Quotes:

"Max Power! He's the man, who's name you'd love to touch! But you mustn't touch! His name sounds good in your ear, but when you say it you mustn't fear! Cause his name, can be said by anyone!"

"I don't even believe in Jebus! Oh! Save me Jebus!"

"Homer to Jebus!"

Man: "Hey, Max Power. Good name."
Homer: "Yeah. I got it off of a hair dryer."

Homer: "We're foreign exchange students from, uh...Scotland!"
Willy: "I'm from Scotland! Where do you hail from?"
Homer: "North...Kiltown."
Willy: "I'm from North Kiltown! Hey, do you know Angus McCloud?"
Homer: "Yeah, I--wait a minute! There is no Angus McCloud in North Kiltown. Why, you're not from Scotland at all!"

Homer: (Pretending he's Mr. Burns) "Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me."
Post Office Man: "Alright. What's your first name?"
Homer: "I don't know."

Homer: "There, there. Shut up boy. We'll buy you a new dog."
Bart: "I don't want a new dog, I want Santa's Little Helper!"
Homer: "Well crying isn't going to bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can sit there, eating can after can of dog food, until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your old dog come back. Or you can go out there and find your dog!"
Bart: "You're right! I'll do it!"
Homer: "Rats! I almost had him eating dog food!"

Homer: "Moe I need your advice."
Moe: "Yeah?"
Homer: "You see, I have this friend named, Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo."
Moe: "That's the worst name I've ever heard."
Joey Joe Joe: (crys and runs out of the bar)
Barney: "Wait! Joey Joe Joe!"

Ralph Wigam quotes:

"It says, 'I choo-choo-choose you' and it has a picture of a train!"

"Look in the tunk"

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

Ralph: "What's for lunch?"
Lunchlady Doris: "Next!"
Ralph: "Chicken Necks?"

Other people

Themesong thing: "Some folk'l never eat a skunk but then again some folk'l, like Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel!"

Flanders: "Sports on a Sunday. Maybe I should consult the Reverand about this..."
Reverand Lovejoy: "Just play the damn game Ned!"

Mr. Rogers: "It's a beautiful day...to kick your ass!"
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Old 07-07-2002, 01:59 PM
Billy Corgan: "Hi I'm Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins."
Homer: "Hi Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

Moe: "Alright this is this the biggest drinking day of the year, where are the designated drivers?" (A few people raise their hands.) "O.K beat it I get no room for cheapscates!"

Homer to Lisa: "Just cause I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."

Ralph: "The doctor said I'd have less nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there."

Troy McClure: "Hi, I'm Troy McClure you might remember me from such dates as... last nights dinner."

Lou: "Can I hold my gun sideways chief, it looks so cool!"
Wiggum: "You do whatever you want birthday boy."

Lenny trying to get into Moe's before it's open: "We kicked down the back door, but then there was metal door."

Grandpa: "The Kaiser stole our word for twenty so we had to say dickety..."
Martin: "Dickety, that highly dubious." (Laughing while he says it)
Grandpa: "Too much pie that's your problem fatty."

Homer after a bad day: "Aahhh, McGarnigal, he eases the pain."

Homer trying out to play the part of Mr. Burns in his movie, his line is "excellent": "Exactly,... D'oh!"

[This message has been edited by PapaJupe2k (edited 07-07-2002).]
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Old 07-07-2002, 02:39 PM
Store Clerk:OOO a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan,you must be a devil with the ladies!
Homer onuts,is there anything they can't do.
Rev.Lovejoy:Now there's no need for violence.
Lenny:Sure there is!(Then Punched Seymour in the face).
Troy:And now what you've all come here to see,hard core nudity
Linol Hutz:Uh oh we've drawn judge Snyder.
Marge:Is that bad?
Hutz:Well he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge:You did?
Hutz:Well replace kinda with repidtly,and the word dog with son.
(the time when Homer is trying to give Maggie bear)
Lisa ad!Don't give Maggie Bear.
Homer:What,my dad gave me bear while I rod my wagon around the tree.
(Then it goes back all the kids are in the ground in pain)
Young Barney:Let's never drink again.
(Back to the couch where Homer is telling the story)
Homer:......And we never did.
Homer:I'm a pig.
Bart:Ya not to mentio looking like a pic,acting like a pig,eating like a pig.
(then Apu shows up)
Apu on't forget the smell!
Homer:I don't belive in Jebus.
Homer:Well I've been taking these first two months pretty hard.
Bart:You've only been there for 2 days.
Homer:Oh without Tv and cant tell how long the days are.
Homer:Now Pie im just going to do this*does munching motion*and if you get eaten,it's your own fault.
Disco Stu:Back away not today disco lady!
Homer:Hello Mr.Burns this is your mother,and your are a bad son.
Homer:Ahhh $2o I wanted a peanut.
Homers Brain:With 20 dollars you can by many peanuts.
Homers brain:Money can be used for goods and services!
Marge:Homer I'm going out to get some supper.
Marge:No were tight on our budget
Lanly:You know a town with money is like a mule on a spinning wheel.He doesnt know how he got it and dangefd if he knew how to use it.
Homer:He he mule.

Ahhhh so many memories


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Old 07-07-2002, 10:21 PM
Seeing as how we are trying to encourage discussion over list threads, I'm gonna ask that we take the Simpsons discussion over to this thread:


Feel free to talk about your favorite quotes in there if you so feel the need.
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