Boys, I challenge thee: Explain the Offside rule to me in less than 50 words...

[BadCoverVersion]

Caution, I am a laydee.

Fuck, I've tried to get my head around this bloody offside malarkey, but it's just too darn frigging complicated.

Please indulge me...

Come on, have a go if you think you're hard enough!!!

Give a girl a clue.

[MarkItZero]

Which sport?

[Indiana Sev]

.

[Bullet Tooth Tony]

Originally posted by Indiana Sev


Now, maybe you can help me, why do European football fans try to kill the referees/officials whenever a questionable call is made?

Um, it's just a game...

Its a European thing!

[BadCoverVersion]

I'm talking footie...

Indiana...

Ummm, I don't get it...

Naaaah, you could be correct, I haven't a clue...If you are, whoop-de-doo, I may actually know what you blokes are talking about from now on.

Hmmmm, let's sit tight and see what everybody else has to say on the subject.

[MarkItZero]

In soccer (or football as you funny people from across the sea like to call it)..

A player is offsides is they get between the furthest back defender and the goal without possesing the ball.

Ill try to draw an illustration

G=goal
B=Ball
O=offensive player
X= defensive player


This is OK:

OB X G

This is also OK:

X OB G

This is offsides:

B X O G

I dont know if that makes sense, but hopefully it helps.

[The Shootin Surgeon]

Originally posted by BadCoverVersion
Caution, I am a laydee.

Fuck, I've tried to get my head around this bloody offside malarkey, but it's just too darn frigging complicated.

Please indulge me...

Come on, have a go if you think you're hard enough!!!

Give a girl a clue.

It's quite simple honey: A player on the attacking team cannot touch the ball behind a player on the defensive team unless the ball was there before him. Think of the rear-most defensive player as an imaginary line across the field that the ball must cross before the attckers can go in.

I believe that's exactly 49 words. Do I win a sensual backrub?

[BadCoverVersion]

Originally posted by The Shootin' Surgeon
It's quite simple honey: A player on the attacking team cannot touch the ball behind a player on the defensive team unless the ball was there before him. Think of the rear-most defensive player as an imaginary line across the field that the ball must cross before the attckers can go in.

I believe that's exactly 49 words. Do I win a sensual backrub?

I'm a laydee "honey", not a dimwitted ho'...

It's a complicated business this is, but I think I may have got the gist...*runs away, still completely ignorant*...

[Morgana]

Originally posted by BadCoverVersion


It's a complicated business this is, but I think I may have got the gist...*runs away, still completely ignorant*...

LOL...I'm glad you at least get the gist, BCV. I follow hockey, and offside has been explained to me at least a dozen times, but I still don't really get it. I don't know...I want to understand it, but on the other hand I don't really care. I mean, is this offside thingy really all that important?

Don't answer that, guys.

[Grebdron]

Originally posted by BadCoverVersion
I'm a laydee "honey", not a dimwitted ho'...

Liar!!!

It's a complicated business this is, but I think I may have got the gist...*runs away, still completely ignorant*...

You're not completely ignorant, hon. You can type on a keyboard.

[Mick]

Originally posted by The Shootin' Surgeon
It's quite simple honey: A player on the attacking team cannot touch the ball behind a player on the defensive team unless the ball was there before him.

The ball doesn't have to be there before him, as long as it was played forward while the player was in an onside position. If he's between the ball and the defenders when it's played, then runs like a little bunny past the defence, when the ball reaches him he's good to go. Unless, of course, he's playing in the Scottish Third Division, since the cuntish refs don't actually give a shit, and believe that they have to be in front of the defence when the ball gets there.

Now, maybe you can help me, why do European football fans try to kill the referees/officials whenever a questionable call is made?

If you think the European fans are bad, check out the South American nutters. They have literally tried to kill referees. I'm sure some of you will have see the now rather famous video of River Plate (IIRC) fans chasing a referee, who then had to climb a fence to escape from the stadium and the angry fans. Fucking madness.

Most of the refs I've seen deserve any abuse they get, incompotent twats with an inferiority complex on the whole. Even most of the "big name" refs (They have to take their share of lower division games) are vicious little cunts.

[jackson13]

Well in American football, offsides is this:

A player on the other team starts before the rest of the players have started the play, which means he stepped over the "invisible" line where the down is. By starting early, that means he stepped over the line before the play started and is therefore offsides.

47 words!!! Wheres my prize?!

[paul calf]

Originally posted by MarkItZero
In soccer (or football as you funny people from across the sea like to call it)..

i know its crazy why call a sport where you kick the ball with your feet football,when you could have a game where the object is to catch and run with the ball by the same name,us crazy brits sure get our wires crossed.

[The Shootin Surgeon]

Originally posted by BadCoverVersion
I'm a laydee "honey", not a dimwitted ho'...
*...

I wasn't offering to pay if that's what you mean... sweetie...

[Reigh Kaufman]

The offensive team cannot have a player in the defending teams half without them being in line with at least one member of the opposite sde (not including the goalkeeper). Passing that invisible line, between defender and attacker, is "off-side".

Now, explain why women go to the loo in pairs. And make it sound credible.

[Indiana Sev]

.

[Grebdron]

Originally posted by Reigh Kaufman
Now, explain why women go to the loo in pairs. And make it sound credible.

Silly. It's so they can hold each other up by the hands so they don't have to contact the surface.

[jackson13]

Your both wrong. We all know women go to the restroom in pairs so they can make out and go down on each other. DUH!!!!!

[Benny]

BCV-
Offsides in soccer (football) is called when a player on offense receives the ball off a pass from his teammate, and there is no defender between him and the goalie.

30 words- read 'em and weep, boys!

[BubbaStrangelove]

With American football, offsides is the equivilent of a "false start" in a race.