What film/s did everyone watch today?? Redux

[Gordon]

For those of you who aren't getting the massive 500 pound motherfucker slow down, by all means keep using it, but for those of us whose connections cannot take it anymore we get this.

Please note:

[23:04] thedudeman6917: I think the films watched today thread is too much of a staple of Joblo for us to just abandon
[23:06] Doom3id: Yes
[23:06] Doom3id: It is
[23:07] Doom3id: But people were citing their complains so I made a new one
[23:07] Doom3id: I got to agree I love the thread more then anything else on that site
[23:07] thedudeman6917: heh
[23:07] thedudeman6917: me too
[23:07] Doom3id: But I cannot load it anymore, ever.
[23:07] Doom3id: And many are like me

This time let's set down some motherfucking ground rules. If for nothing else, to appease Danger^Cart:

1. There is no need to post a picture for every God damn movie you watch. Now, I think the images make the entire thread have a nice feel for it, but don't overdo it. There is no need for a picture every post.
2. When you do post pictures, which may be more often then you might have assumed was implied above, do not post wallpaper sized images and the like. Be sensible about the size.
3. The speed at which these threads fill up has been growing exponentially, so try and let this one live through more posts then the last one.
4. My personal rule, a la Tyler Durden in Fight Club, imagine a voice saying: If you're going to post a shocking fucking score (i.e. 1/10 for Raging Bull or 3/0 for Annie Hall or whatever the fuck) you HAVE to give an explanation.

[ThirdOuting]

Good call.
It would help if people didn't slap on massive posters in their posts.

Inland Empire - 10/10
Monster - 9/10

[mutesaint]

As someone who did just get nailed by the slowdown Ill post here. I havent seen any movies yet today(had to go to work early) but I plan to see one. And when I do, Im coming here. Just wanted to throw out ye ol' support.

[mutesaint]

Fuck. Double post.

[JackassFan]

300 - 9/10

I'll never get the hate for this movie.

[Tyler_Durden_208]

MST3K: Agent for H.A.R.M.
Movie: 2/10
MST3K: 8/10
[in thick accent]
"There's some trunks in your room if you change your mind."
Mike: "There's drunks in my room? How'd they get there?"


MST3K: Puma Man
Movie: 1/10
I believe that is quite possibly one of the most retarded things I've ever seen.
MST3K: 9/10
"Puma Man... He flies like a moron..."

[X-Nightcrawler]

Wait, so that was why JoBlo had been really slow as of late? If so, then good go on this thread.

[RandalGraves]

Epic Movie <suprisingly funny

[Lazy Boy]

Thesis - 4/10

Wow, I HATE the tired and lazy use of red herrings (Did he? Didn't he?) that run rampant through this disappointing earlier effort from Alejandro Amenabar (The Others). Whatever style it has in the first 40 minutes fall woefully apart.

[Mr.HyDe807]

Pirates of the Caribbean: Deads Man Chest- 8.5/10

I thought the first one was alright (7.5/10), but the second one is a much more enjoyable popcorn flick, and although i wasnt really into this franchise, im excited for the thrid one!

I jsut want to see Davy jones fight

[X-Nightcrawler]

Originally posted by JackassFan
300 - 9/10

I'll never get the hate for this movie.

Hate, what hate? It seems very liked around here. And it's fresh at RT if I'm not mistaken. Good movie.

Anyway, speaking of not getting.

King Kong (05)
I decided to give this movie another chance and it was just as 'tarded, boring and overbloated as last time, only a little less annoying because I stopped paying attention to anything that wasn't Naomi Watts' angelic face. And the effects reeeally aren't all that. The creatures themselves look about perfect, but the moment they're put onscreen with a real person, it goes to hell. The superimpositions in the movie are terrible (the dinosaur avalanche looked like those old movies when people are acting against a screen; the actors' positions and their faces never go with what's happening behind them). Still, nice effects, nice acting, nice directing (except for that lame-ass ghosting effect), horrible editing . . . I hated how there was a literally 5 minute scene (I counted) that's only the ape holding Watts while she goes "Oohh! Ahhh! Eeggh!" (which wasn't so bad because I imagined them as sex noises).

And the ape is incredibly annoying, I'm so glad he got squashed. I just wish it had been the T-Rex who murdered him, the rex is awesome. When the ape kills the rex is the point where the writer fucked up. The rex should've bit kong in the nuts, torn them off, stuff them down its mouth and chomp on its gut for 30 minutes (now that'd be fine to overbloat, the ape getting slaughtered, see, Jackson?). Then they should've taken the REX to New York and HE should be the one to cause a ruckus, only in this version, the Rex doesn't die and there's no hilariously stupid line at the end, making the movie actually awesome.

5/10. Now, the love for this I'll never get. I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate this flick.

Hate it.


Long live Awesome McBadass, though.

[dennisv]

28 Weeks Later
Bourne Supremecy

[Adam J. Hakari]

Originally posted by Tyler_Durden_208
MST3K: Puma Man
Movie: 1/10
I believe that is quite possibly one of the most retarded things I've ever seen.
MST3K: 9/10
"Puma Man... He flies like a moron..."

"Pew-ma Man..."
"PU-ma! PU-ma!"

[Tyler_Durden_208]

Originally posted by Adam J. Hakari
"Pew-ma Man..."
"PU-ma! PU-ma!"

Heehee. I'm pretty sure that was Donald Pleasence's worst role ever. I mean, I would have loved to have seen his face when they told him he was gonna have to stare through a stupid mask that looked shit painted gold at a dummy vaguely resembling the superhero PUMA MAN!

[Adam J. Hakari]

Originally posted by Tyler_Durden_208
Heehee. I'm pretty sure that was Donald Pleasence's worst role ever. I mean, I would have loved to have seen his face when they told him he was gonna have to stare through a stupid mask that looked shit painted gold at a dummy vaguely resembling the superhero PUMA MAN!

No kiddin'. The guys even give him a good ribbing in the Rifftrax version of HALLOWEEN. That's probably my fave horror movie of all time, but the Rifftrax commentary was so good, it pointed out how much it kinda does suck.

[Danger^Cart]

Originally posted by X-Nightcrawler
5/10. Now, the love for this I'll never get. I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate this flick.

Hate it.

Word. Peter Jackson just kinda sucks in general (sans Fellowship).

Hey Gord, you should probably set some ground rules in the OP. Like, as someone suggest, no gynormous fucking images. Shit like that is unnecessary.

[Tyler_Durden_208]

Originally posted by Adam J. Hakari
No kiddin'. The guys even give him a good ribbing in the Rifftrax version of HALLOWEEN. That's probably my fave horror movie of all time, but the Rifftrax commentary was so good, it pointed out how much it kinda does suck.

Yeah, I watched the Rifftrax for Halloween not long ago. They were kinda pointing out what I like about Halloween though. It's slow, methodical and, as Kevin put it, if it was made today there'd be a huge pile of corpses by the half hour mark. Which I'm hoping isn't how the remake turns out. Malcolm McDowell does have some big shoes to fill, as I think that's pretty much Pleasence's signature role.

[mutesaint]

Way of the Gun (10/10), One of my favorite movies of all time.


Kindergarden cop (7/10)

[Danger^Cart]

Originally posted by mutesaint
Way of the Gun (10/10), One of my favorite movies of all time.

!!!!!!!!

[ChemicalRomance]

Meh. May this thread fail!

[X-Nightcrawler]

Originally posted by ChemicalRomance
Meh. May this thread fail!

*gasp* Aren't you that bastard who didn't like "The Fountain"? May you burn in hell!

[damien22]

So I guess I'll just post on both threads, especially because I thought Gordon and X-Nightcrawler would want to see this.

The Fountain - No rating... yet.
Definitely a positive review, as I consider this to be one of the most breathtakingly amazing films I have ever seen. Amazing score, story, acting, direction, cinematography, visuals, absolutely everything was amazing. I'm sure that when I fully understand it, I will give it a 10 and it will be one of my favorite movies, which it actually is already. I definitely love it more than Pi, and a little bit more than Requiem (which I don't like as much as I used to, still a 9, though..). Aronofsky is one of the best directors working today, and I most definitely will see anything that he releases. I might rewatch this tomorrow and hopefully I'll completely understand it then...

Wait, so is the point of making this thread just because of the people that post images that are fucking huge, because it seems like they could just make a rule against that... Or is it against images in general since they considerably slow down the loading of the page?

I'll just post on both for now..

[X-Nightcrawler]

Originally posted by damien22
So I guess I'll just post on both threads, especially because I thought Gordon and X-Nightcrawler would want to see this.

The Fountain - No rating... yet.
Definitely a positive review, as I consider this to be one of the most breathtakingly amazing films I have ever seen. Amazing score, story, acting, direction, cinematography, visuals, absolutely everything was amazing. I'm sure that when I fully understand it, I will give it a 10 and it will be one of my favorite movies, which it actually is already. I definitely love it more than Pi, and a little bit more than Requiem (which I don't like as much as I used to, still a 9, though..). Aronofsky is one of the best directors working today, and I most definitely will see anything that he releases. I might rewatch this tomorrow and hopefully I'll completely understand it then...

This is getting so much love around here, I'm very glad. At least moviegoers are enjoying it more than critics (bastards). It would be interesting to make a thread dedicated to this movie and toss ideas around. I think I have a pretty good idea of the plot itself and its themes (though it's not like understanding the plot is part of the movie's point).

[damien22]

Originally posted by X-Nightcrawler
This is getting so much love around here, I'm very glad. At least moviegoers are enjoying it more than critics (bastards). It would be interesting to make a thread dedicated to this movie and toss ideas around. I think I have a pretty good idea of the plot itself and its themes (though it's not like understanding the plot is part of the movie's point).

I think that would be a good idea, especially because there's a lot of stuff I don't think I understand. I'm pretty sure I understand all the stuff that's shown on screen, but I don't know if I know any themes... .......(so start the thread so I can figure it out and cure my ignorance!)

[X-Nightcrawler]

Originally posted by Tyler_Durden_208
MST3K: Agent for H.A.R.M.
Movie: 2/10
MST3K: 8/10
[in thick accent]
"There's some trunks in your room if you change your mind."
Mike: "There's drunks in my room? How'd they get there?"


MST3K: Puma Man
Movie: 1/10
I believe that is quite possibly one of the most retarded things I've ever seen.
MST3K: 9/10
"Puma Man... He flies like a moron..."

These posts got me interested in finding out exactly what the hell MST3K was, so I hunted down-

MST3K: Hobgoblins Absolutely hilarious. I had to skip ahead the non-movie bits which were tarded, but the movie bits are gut-busting stuff. It kept reminding me of the JoBlo "caption" threads, only with a full movie. Very, very funny. The final bits when they're "interviewing" the movie's director is some of the funniest shit I've seen in a while.

Originally posted by damien22
I think that would be a good idea, especially because there's a lot of stuff I don't think I understand. I'm pretty sure I understand all the stuff that's shown on screen, but I don't know if I know any themes... .......(so start the thread so I can figure it out and cure my ignorance!)

I shall. It should be interesting to disucss.

[RandalGraves]

Shrek The Third

[ThirdOuting]

Easy Rider - 6/10

[JackassFan]

Silent Hill - 9/10

Best video game adaption yet.

[FLAME_ON]

Slither- 9/10: Great comedy/horror... something I think will gain more respect as is ages.

[Lazy Boy]

Humanite - 5/10

[RandalGraves]

28 Weeks Later

[X-Nightcrawler]

MST3K: Puma Man

Just like "Hobgoblins", the movie is the most retarded thing in the universe, the MST3K is hilarious. I'm falling in love with this show. I loved how they kept making fun of how useles "Pewmaman" was.

"I wouldn't trust this guy to hold the door open for me."

"Yeah, world, get ready to be run by Donald Pleasence."

[Monotreme]

11:14 (Greg Marcks, 2003) - This format of ensemble pieces in which everything is connected is, at times, tedious. It has all but worn out since Magnolia, although occasionally someone attempts to bend the genre a bit. In 2003 Love, Actually was released; an entirely new beast - an ensemble romance film. In the same year this obscure little film came out, another genre-bender - an ensemble black comedy. And how black the comedy is! It all works since the movie never takes itself seriously and is consistently over-the-top, but it's fun, entertaining, hilarious, and brilliantly scored by the genius Clint Mansell. A worthwile look if somewhat obscure - I actually hadn't even heard of it until someone showed it to me this past weekend.

RATING: 7/10.



Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Movie (Jim Mallon, 1996) - Come on. This is comic genius, period. It was always strange to me that the movie version of the show is actually shorter than most of its episodes. Still, classic stuff.

RATING: 8/10.



X-Men: The Last Stand (Brett Ratner, 2006) - Is 3 really that unlucky a number? Save for a few exceptions (Return of the King), 3 seems to tend to be the lesser of any trilogy - BTTF 3, Terminator 3, The Godfather pt. III, and more recently, Spider-Man 3, Shrek the Third, and of course, X-Men 3, the debacle from last year. We all know the story - Bryan Singer who directed the first two films with SUCH total genius offered Fox to direct the third after he completed Superman, but being the stubborn bitches they tend to be at Fox they opted to rush the film into production and hire a hack director to do the cleanup work, and what better a hack director in hollywood than Brett Ratner. The thing is, Fox had actually lined up a pretty decent script - at least, a decent concept. Indeed both plot lines of the mutant cure and Jean Grey/Phoenix are FANTASTIC plot threads. The problem is that the film is too rushed and too short. It is peppered with little dramatic anecdotes but Ratner never indulges us with them enough. In the end we just end up not caring about anyone. As Roger Ebert said, the film brings up some fantastic issues but is restrained because it keeps reminding itself that it's a stupid action movie and not something more, which is where the first two films, specifically X2, succeeded so well.

RATING: 5/10.



The Prestige (Christopher Nolan, 2006) - This one is a mixed bag, as I've described it before. I felt that the twist ending aspect was pointless and just plain banal. But the rest of the film works so well you just have to love it. Following similar themes Nolan began to explore in Memento, Insomnia and Batman Begins, The Prestige is a fascinating journey into the nature of obsession and how it can scar a human. All this is of course tied up in a beautiful period setting ribbon, with fantastic cinematography and production value, great acting and some of the most fantastically incorporated science fiction material I've ever seen in a film - I just love the whole Tesla transportation aspect to DEATH, even though it throws the film into a different but ultimately satisfying direction.

RATING: 7.5/10.



A History of Violence (David Cronenberg, 2005) - This is one of those very rare films that isn't about your conventional aspects such as plot, story, or character. Instead, A History of Violence, like last year's Little Children, works pretty much as a broad allegory. Every detail in the film cannot be overlooked because it all donates to a wider, symbolic meaning. Everything down to specific lines of dialogue, angles, and little details in the scenes all serve the broader picture. I love how Cronenberg uses and subsequently shatters cliches and stereotypes to better serve his purpose. I have written a fairly lengthy analysis of the film and its sub-level meaning, which you can find by searching around these forums a bit. If you thought at all that this film was different or special, I suggest you take a look.

RATING: 9/10.

[bowieee]

Watched Afro Samurai today. I enjoyed it quite a bit, the story went alot deeper then I thought it would.


Monotreme I really dug the hell out of 11:14 when i saw it, i thought it was a clever take on the intersecting life film theme that has been beaten into the ground.

[DrkBlueXG]

I watched "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story" for no reason today. And whoaaa talk about a creepy little cartoon movie. I never realized that the movie was so fucked up. Kinda like when I watched "All Dogs Go To Heaven" recently.
Crazy!

[KcMsterpce]

A DIRTY SHAME - 6/10
What a far out ridiculous - but often times FUNNY - stupid movie! John Waters is great.

[BadCoverVersion]

Past few days...

28 Weeks Later (Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, 2007) - 7/10

Phantom Of The Paradise (Brian De Palma, 1974) - 6/10

El Topo (Alejandro Jodorowsky, 1970) - 9/10

Scars Of Dracula (Roy Ward Baker, 1970) - 7/10

Topsy Turvy (Mike Leigh, 1999) - 10/10

Oh, and the first season of Masters Of Horror, I rate thus...

Incident On and Off A Mountain Road (Don Coscarelli) - 8/10
Dreams in the Witch House (Stuart Gordon) - 10/10
Dance of the Dead (Tobe Hooper) - 5/10
Jenifer (Dario Argento) - 8/10
Chocolate (Mick Garris) - 5/10
Homecoming (Joe Dante) - 5/10
Deer Woman (John Landis) - 7/10
Cigarette Burns (John Carpenter) - 9/10
Fair Haired Child (William Malone) - 7/10
Sick Girl (Lucky McKee) - 4/10
Pick Me Up (Larry Cohen) - 8/10
Haeckel's Tale (John McNaughton) - 6/10
Imprint (Takashi Miike) - 8/10

[RandalGraves]

Modern Times

[Monotreme]

Originally posted by DrkBlueXG
I watched "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story" for no reason today. And whoaaa talk about a creepy little cartoon movie. I never realized that the movie was so fucked up.

I totally watched that flick like hundreds of times when I was very young and in my dinosaur-loving phase. I actually haven't seen it for well over a decade. I'm scared to, though, based on your description. Now that I think of it it probably is quite trippy. I mean, vicious dinosaurs eat glowing cereal and they become dazed, goofy dufuses. Is this not a blatantly obvious metaphor, or am I just crazy?

[ThirdOuting]

This is England - 8/10