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Old 02-23-2013, 05:46 PM
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

'Bella' awakens to her new life as a vampire, her eyes now glowing red and her complexion pale and delicate. She picks up things she has never noticed before, her senses alive and super charged for the first time. Her vision has pinpoint accuracy, her hearing detects the tinyest sounds and her agility is now superhuman. She runs off into the forest with 'Edward' to experience her new vampiric abilities. As she sprints through the trees at top speed, she sees nature in all its beauty, like never before with her new vampire vision. Everything can be seen in slow motion, the insects flying, the flowers blooming, she can hear various small wildlife buzzing, clicking and calling.

Yes, nature and its creatures seen and heard for the first time perfectly in all their glory, beauty, majesty...and then she rips out its throat.

The big finale to the epic 'Twilight' series finally dawns (hehe) upon us, the limp tale continues from where it left off. Unfortunately this means we go straight back into the vampire soap opera we had to put up with in the last deary installment. Its not as bad as the last film in that sense, at least this time we have 'Bella' getting used to her new vampire skills and scowling EVEN more than normal. On the down side we still have 'Jacob' sexually frustrated because he can't do it doggy style with 'Bella' and lots of average young actors with lots of poorly done heavy face makeup.

The effects are still pretty damn ropey all the way through, the CGI is near laughable in most sequences with terrible special vampire skill sequences of super speed. The wolves look like cartoons and characters look like ragdolls when knocked about in the air or where ever.

Worst new effect must be the new born child, was that thing CGI? it bloody looked like it. Jesus that looked eerie, I think it was either a fully CGI baby or a real baby with a CGI face! good god!, no wonder everyone thought it was evil.

The plot on the whole is much more interesting than the last film, overall this film is better than the last as that was terrible. Its all just a prolonged build up to the big fight at the end, but even that isn't entirely as it seems. Anyway the fight has been talked about a lot but frankly I don't see why. Sure its probably the best thing in the entire franchise but its hardly worth waiting for. Plenty of heads being ripped off and arms torn from their sockets whilst vampires and wolves go down in a flurry of sparkly action, but in no way is any of it original or really exciting.

I thought the whole bit about gathering vampire friends from around the world quite amusing, basically a recruitment montage. Its fun but highly generic and cliched, the amazonian female vampires in their tribal outfits, never thought Egypt would have vampires, one bloke from the American Revolution period who doesn't shut up about it (you'd think he would have let that go after a few hundred years) and the hilariously cliched Irish vampires complete with flatcaps, scarfs and dowdy, drab clothes that looked like poor labourers.

I've said before this franchise isn't as bad as many say and I will still stand by that. The first film was OK, second was fair and third was a bit better than them both, best not to talk of the pointless fourth. Yes the film is still chock full of sulky looking younglings, cheesy ass panto style makeup, lots of brooding, lots of dialog about things only the book readers will know of (or if you can remember from the last films, I couldn't), characters that pop up outta nowhere (I lost track), vampires that look and dress like pupils from 'Hogwarts' and of course Miss Stewart doing her best grimacing/pouting ever!

As you can guess the fans will love and probably mums with their daughters too. The franchise was always just an excuse for mums/daughters/teen girls to see some fit firm young men in very very soft acceptable porn, tastefully done of course. I'm sure its close to the source material and it has been good in places but it is a weak romantic tale really, drawn out over five films.

And what is the deal with 'Jacob'? the dude isn't romantically involved with 'Bella' anymore, but he still wants it doesn't he, doesn't he?. 'Bella' still keeps him around why? for threesomes? just to look at his nice body? to abuse him?. He gets a raw deal if you ask me, he gets to babysit their kid and generally be a dogsbody forever whilst watching 'Bella' and 'Edward' get it on. Maybe he likes that?.

This final episode is like the first three, its average and just about kept my attention although the originality of the original is of course long gone. A nice end credits sequence ties everything up in a sweet lovable girly bow, but will we see more of this supernatural heartbreaker? or is it indeed finished...forever?.
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