There was never any doubt in my mind who the focus of my first piece for MovieHotties.com would be. I have a real thing for Emmy Rossum, but for some reason, she's treading the 'respectably conservative' line of movie roles, so until she gets a trashy wake-up call, I'm all over Penelope Cruz. Is she the most beautiful woman in the world? Sure, I'd buy that. Does it turn me off a little to know that Matt McConaughey had his grubby hands all over her? Sure, but please, let's not let that sad little fact throw us off here...
Just a note: you might notice that I've gone with more recent roles here. I've seen most of her older stuff, but I'm of the impression that she has aged like a fine wine.
#3. "Raimunda" in VOLVER
In VOLVER, Cruz plays a mother of two in a highly disfunctional family. The delicate status-quo is thrown off though, when her old aunt passes away and an element of the past returns...
There's something hot about an Oscar-worthy performance (I'm not saying that I wanted to jump Kathy Bates back in 1990, but you know what I mean). If creative excellence doesn't do a thing for you though, then perhaps the ingenius placing of a camera over Cruz' glorious breasts while she washes the dishes will. I'm pretty sure that those breasts have never looked bigger than in VOLVER, so this flick is a shoe-in for a spot on this list.
What else? Well as hot as I find her desperate attempt to try and speak clear English, I find her speaking Spanish so much hotter. European chicks with accents are just hot.
#2. "Maria" in BANDIDAS
Alongside Salma Hayek, Cruz plays a feisty farmer's daughter who decides to fight back against the murderous bank henchman 'Jackson', as he evicts local farmers...
Let's face it, you have to be all kinds of hot to stand next to Salma Hayek in a corset and still look like the most desirable person in the room. JoBlo would probably (definitely) disagree with that, but I'd definitely take a stab at Cruz first.
Chicks with guns are guaranteed winners. Especially when they're outlaws. If they have the metaphorical sack to laugh in the face of conventional law, you know they're breaking 'laws' in the bedroom. She's also the uneducated daughter of a farmer, so if you told her that having sex while watching sports was vital to female health, she's probably believe you.
If Steve Zahn managed to do THIS SCENE without popping wood, the man is a god.
#1. "Sofia Serrano" in VANILLA SKY
Opposite boyfriend (at the time), Tom Cruise, Cruz plays the adorable Sofia, who dances her way into millionaire playboy David Aames' life. Shortly after falling in love however, Aames is in a major car-accident and is severely disfigured. But that's just the beginning of his problems...
Is Sofia the ultimate girlfriend? I mean, she's smokin' hot, she has a dancer's body (and flexibilty), she likes Jeff Buckley and she'll stick with you even when you've got a train-wreck for a face (which you got by getting into a car with an ex-lover). I think the final act of VANILLA SKY is pretty poor but I still love the movie. And I'm pretty sure it's because of Penelope Cruz. We also get a nice shot of her naked cans, which is always a plus.
I'm not sure if being seduced by music is cheating, because VANILLA SKY has probably my all-time favourite soundtrack. You can talk shit all you want about ELIZABETHTOWN (I usually do), but Cameron Crowe can really pick some music. I have the unfortunate affliction of being extremely affected by music and so nowadays everytime I hear Sigur Ros or Red House Painters, I'm thinking about Penelope Cruz in VANILLA SKY.