I'm almost finished reading the third book in the TWILIGHT series, needing to wince and groan my way through the 50 or so pages I have remaining before checking out its movie version, ECLIPSE, when it gets released on DVD this weekend. I have not been enjoying the novel experience, but I felt as if it was a necessary thing to do so that I could understand the differences used between the books and the movies. There haven't been too many, although whether that is to the credit of the filmmakers, I'm not sure. I can tell you that I am absolutely at a loss as to why these books have been so ceremoniously embraced by grown women, seeing as how they are so talentlessly written that they come off the page like a melodramatic fan fiction written by an 8th grader. Whatever you think about the movies, the writing really is THAT bad.
Bill Condon, the director behind the two part wrap-up of the series, BREAKING DAWN, decided to give the fans a little present over the holiday weekend. I know I'm late to the party with this, so forgive me if you've already been salivating over it. For those who might not know how the story arc goes, in ECLIPSE, the vampire Edward refuses to have sex with his human muse, Bella, unless she marries him first. She wants this act to occur before she is turned into a bloodsucker, so that she can have her cherry popped as her last human experience. By the time that the activities in the fourth book go down, Edward grants her this wish and in a wild fit of passion that could only be dreamed up in a sheltered Mormon's sexual fantasies, he bites a lot of pillows instead of her carotid.
This may or may not explain the above image to you. But hey... for the diehards out there, I bet your nipples are pert and chafed right about now, huh?