As I'm sitting to write this column out this week, I have a massive sinus headache. If there was one thing that I would have on my order form for my future cloning, it would be the perfection of my nasal cavities so that the carbon copy of me wouldn't have to suffer from the deviated septum and all the issues which go along with it. This is part of the reason why I thought of doing a cloned babe battle, that and these chicks who've been replicates happen to be good selections for mass cloning if anyone was serious about making a buck.
I'm somewhat pushing the limits of the cloning definition when it comes to including Hurley in this week's match-up, but I can't remember when I had a time to use her before and incredibly, even though she has every reason to be a complete shit actress (the modeling background, the inexplicable attachment to her ex Hugh Grant), I actually like her when she does films. More eye candy in the AUSTIN POWERS movies than anything else, it was Hurley who managed to keep the wily Myers in check and of course, blow his mind later on. Plus, if she were cloned in mass production, we could preserve her seasoned looks.
If anyone screams at me for not including a spoiler alert for Milla and her cloning involvement in the RESIDENT EVIL flicks, I will reach through their monitor and strangle you. The RE movies aren't going to lose any of their appeal because of knowing that there were several Alices. And come to think of it, in a way Leeloo Dallas Multipass was sort of cloned as well, right? And EVERYONE has to have seen that movie a billion and a half times by now. Let's just delete the clone files where Milla gets knocked up and big as a house, ok?
Again, this is one of those moments that you have to laugh at me because even though it was a stupid movie, I was entertained by THE ISLAND. Mainly this was because Scarlett Johansson looked so prime in it, so porcelain of skin and vacant in the eyes, just the way I like her. When she tries to act too hard, it makes her look constipated. I prefer a dumb ScarJo and not just a ScarJo who is attempting to play dumb because that ends up a big ol' mess. But just a empty little vessel. A perfect clone, in other words. I can't imagine a better Real Doll, you know?
Which is your favorite cloned babe?
Click on each photo to enlarge!