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Battle of the Babes #210: Found Footage Hotties

May. 24, 2012by: Cherry Liquor

I think it's interesting how people will complain about the "shaky camera" effect that goes on in many "Found Footage" movies and how that style has transferred over to many mainstream blockbusters in the process. Why do I find it funny? I guess because I try to see things from Louis C.K.'s point of view. We're all complaining about stupid shit because we live in a great world with the best advantages that we're constantly coming up with white man's problems. As people sit in the theater griping about the shaky cam, I feel like poking them in the back of their iPhone-using heads, demanding that they be sequestered for the next flight out to a country where the only running water gives you a stomach parasite causing you to never have a solid bowel movement for the rest of your life. (I don't give a shit about your fat 8th grader grumbled complaints. Get back to me via a method other than a digital service which shortens thousands of miles and infinite hours of time and energy into an instantaneous form of communication that your great grandfather's horse is rolling over in its grave about.)

Devin Kelley

The movie other than JOSH BROLIN PLAYS A CONVINCING YOUNGER VERSION OF TOMMY LEE JONES getting released this Let's Get Drunk and Have a BBQ Weekend is CHERNOBYL DIARIES. Devin Kelly is one of its stars. I probably should have watched her when she was on "The Chicago Code," because I love Jennifer Beals, but that show got canceled before I could even figure out that it existed. Thankfully I have the miracle of NetFlix streaming to bring it right to the magic box in my living room at the push of a button while I eat chemically processed delicacies cooked in under one minute by another magic box. Gripe, gripe, gripe, grumble...

Katie Featherston

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY annoyed the crap out of me. Katie Featherston is still a good looking woman. Why do all the good looking regular girls have to be in shitty movies? Why do we have to suffer through women who have undergone the magic of medical science to have every blemish eradicated in order to deliver a highly unrealistic portrayal of love and the war between the sexes? If only there weren't thousands upon millions of other cinematic choices for me to drool over! Oh... wait...

Lizzy Caplan

Lizzy Caplan looked best when she was taking off her top in "True Blood," not screaming her head off in CLOVERFIELD, just one project from the plethora of crap that Abrams keeps shoving down our face like an unruly toddler who won't eat the Happy Meal that his mother just spent $3 of her hard-earned dollars to purchase so she didn't have to go to a store and buy safely grown vegetables and hormonally enhanced meat that other people have done the work of picking and slaughtering so she could go back to her home with its insulation and clean running tap water and magical fast cooking box thingies. Why isn't she naked in every project she does, simulating sex for me to disseminate at my slovenly leisure?!?! DAMN HER!!

I might be watching too much L.C.K. Or something. Which is your favorite Found Footage Hottie?

Source: IMDB

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+0
9:32AM on 05/28/2012
Katie Featherston does it for me in all sorts of ways.
Katie Featherston does it for me in all sorts of ways.
Your Reply:



8:17AM on 05/25/2012

[REC]

personally my favorite is Manuela Velasco from the great spanish movie [Rec]
personally my favorite is Manuela Velasco from the great spanish movie [Rec]
Your Reply:



+2
10:24PM on 05/24/2012

"Penguins are cute and all, but if you cooked one, I'd eat it!"

Lizzy Caplan all the way! I've been in love with her since The Class.
Lizzy Caplan all the way! I've been in love with her since The Class.
Your Reply:



+2
7:24PM on 05/24/2012

Lizzy Caplan

I do like a woman with an edge.
I do like a woman with an edge.
Your Reply:



6:47PM on 05/24/2012
Lizzy Caplan
Lizzy Caplan
Your Reply:



4:33PM on 05/24/2012
Katie. There is something about her....yummy.
Katie. There is something about her....yummy.
Your Reply:



3:24PM on 05/24/2012

Lizzy Caplan

simply because she was smokin' hot in True Blood. But why not Chronicle's Ashley Hinshaw? At least that was a good movie.
simply because she was smokin' hot in True Blood. But why not Chronicle's Ashley Hinshaw? At least that was a good movie.
Your Reply:



2:26PM on 05/24/2012
Katie All The Way.
Katie All The Way.
Your Reply:



1:35PM on 05/24/2012

Lizzy Caplan

Although I will never forget when I saw Paranormal Activity where this black woman in front of us yelled "Mmmm she got big titties".
Although I will never forget when I saw Paranormal Activity where this black woman in front of us yelled "Mmmm she got big titties".
Your Reply:



12:13PM on 05/24/2012
Lizzy Caplan.
Lizzy Caplan.
Your Reply:



+1
11:43AM on 05/24/2012
Based on these images alone, I'd say Devin Kelley looks nicest. However, if you're going to use someone from Cloverfield, should have gone with Odette Yustman. She out-hots them all.
Based on these images alone, I'd say Devin Kelley looks nicest. However, if you're going to use someone from Cloverfield, should have gone with Odette Yustman. She out-hots them all.
Your Reply:



11:27AM on 05/24/2012
Katie
Katie
Your Reply:



+3
11:06AM on 05/24/2012
DAMN CHERRY!!! I want to go to the movies with you! My vote goes to the PA1 woman. KATIE!
DAMN CHERRY!!! I want to go to the movies with you! My vote goes to the PA1 woman. KATIE!
Your Reply:



+4
10:06AM on 05/24/2012
Katie, Katie, Katie!
Katie, Katie, Katie!
Your Reply:



+1
9:58AM on 05/24/2012
First off , great rant Cherry , one of the many reasons I love ya !! I dig Miss Featherston in a major way , but there's no way I can vote against LIZZY !! Color me Caplan !!
First off , great rant Cherry , one of the many reasons I love ya !! I dig Miss Featherston in a major way , but there's no way I can vote against LIZZY !! Color me Caplan !!
Your Reply:



9:56AM on 05/24/2012
Katie Featherston!
Katie Featherston!
Your Reply:



9:39AM on 05/24/2012
Katie.

And Chernobyl Diaries isn't a found footage movie.
Katie.

And Chernobyl Diaries isn't a found footage movie.
Your Reply:



8:54AM on 05/24/2012
You make me dizzy miss Lizzy.
You make me dizzy miss Lizzy.
Your Reply:



8:42AM on 05/24/2012
Seriously, no Project X hotties!?
Seriously, no Project X hotties!?
Your Reply:



7:54AM on 05/24/2012

There's no question...

Katie FTW!
Katie FTW!
Your Reply:



7:31AM on 05/24/2012

Lizzy!

all day and all night.
all day and all night.
Your Reply:



7:08AM on 05/24/2012
Lizzy!!!
Lizzy!!!
Your Reply:



5:17AM on 05/24/2012
Katie for the win.
Katie for the win.
Your Reply:



5:13AM on 05/24/2012
Katie is looking nice! I actually really dug Sprague Grayden is PA 2. Wish we would see more of her.
Katie is looking nice! I actually really dug Sprague Grayden is PA 2. Wish we would see more of her.
Your Reply:



4:57AM on 05/24/2012
Katie. She's hot.
Katie. She's hot.
Your Reply:



2:15AM on 05/24/2012
Lizzy, one of my faves.
Lizzy, one of my faves.
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