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Battle of the Babes #224: The Babes Russell Branded

Sep. 6, 2012by: Cherry Liquor

When I went to go see PREMIUM RUSH, there were trailers for all kinds of movies that fit within the demographic that would pay to see JGL ride a bike with no brakes, getting chased by Michael Shannon. The only one that didn't seem to mesh, prompting the audience to groan and check their phones for Twitter updates (one day I will kill you all and your short attention spans!!!) was BRANDED. Seems as if they were disinterested in thinking about an entity that could control their lot in life. I wonder if any of these former flames of Russell Brand feel the same way.

Imogen Thomas

I know little about Imogen Thomas other than than the fact she's turning 30 later this year, used to be on the UK version of "Big Brother," has big boobs, used to bang Russell Brand but is currently knocked up with a kid by her new beau. You can say one thing for Russ, he likes them with enough cushion to withstand the boniness that are his narrow hipbones.

Katy Perry

Russell liked this one so much, he decided to put a ring on it. In the beginning, it seemed as if there was anyone who could withstand the goofiness of that Brit, it was Katy Perry, the SoCal girl who liked dressing up with spinning breast peppermints. But when people are busy and you can't give the man best known for bragging about his sex life enough sex to sustain him, even the best rack in pop music is going to lose that battle.

Teresa Palmer

They met on the set of BEDTIME STORIES, brought together by the dumbed down sense of humour that family man Sandler movies squeeze out of people. Teresa might have gained the sense to break up with him (details are unclear as to what exactly went down between the Brit and the Aussie) but Palmer has a habit of dating co-stars, having hooked up with Topher Grace after working with him on TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT. I'm guessing that Ter & Russ dated mainly so they could trade skinny jeans.

Which babe could you overlook being your sloppy seconds to Russell Brand?

Source: IMDB

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10:10AM on 09/06/2012

Can't even focus on the question...

...because I seriously just lost all respect for Teresa Palmer.
...because I seriously just lost all respect for Teresa Palmer.
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6:52AM on 09/06/2012
They are all quite lovely and I would love to bed all of them, but I'd say Imogen Thomas is my favorite.
They are all quite lovely and I would love to bed all of them, but I'd say Imogen Thomas is my favorite.
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7:11PM on 09/06/2012

Drool.

Imogen or Katy Perry pls.
Imogen or Katy Perry pls.
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+1
1:09PM on 09/06/2012

While all are sexy...

There is something about Teresa Palmer. Katy is sexy, but between the constant crazy hair changes, the equally crazy outfits, and the god awful music, I can't help but be annoyed by her lately. I don't know much about Thomas, other than the impressive rack. While that in itself gives her a little pull in my book, I can't deny that when I see Palmer on screen, I have trouble drawing my eyes away. She's got this mesmerizing quality about her.
There is something about Teresa Palmer. Katy is sexy, but between the constant crazy hair changes, the equally crazy outfits, and the god awful music, I can't help but be annoyed by her lately. I don't know much about Thomas, other than the impressive rack. While that in itself gives her a little pull in my book, I can't deny that when I see Palmer on screen, I have trouble drawing my eyes away. She's got this mesmerizing quality about her.
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2:27AM on 09/06/2012
Katy Perry easily.
Katy Perry easily.
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3:22AM on 09/07/2012

Katy!

Katy Perry FTW! Seriously, there's no competition!
Katy Perry FTW! Seriously, there's no competition!
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10:32AM on 09/06/2012
Palmer
Palmer
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+0
9:01AM on 09/06/2012
I vote Katy , but the thought of that talentless hack having nailed anyone I was digging is stomach churning .
I vote Katy , but the thought of that talentless hack having nailed anyone I was digging is stomach churning .
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9:34AM on 09/06/2012
Yes. If only it was Louis CK who was nailing these girls, we could live with that.
Yes. If only it was Louis CK who was nailing these girls, we could live with that.
9:38AM on 09/06/2012
Hahaha I think we would all celebrate with great cheers if Louis CK banged any of them.
Hahaha I think we would all celebrate with great cheers if Louis CK banged any of them.
8:09AM on 09/06/2012
Katy Perry.
Thomas is too much of a standard page 3 girl.
Katy Perry.
Thomas is too much of a standard page 3 girl.
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-1
1:16PM on 09/06/2012

TOUGH ONE!!!

They have all been contaminated with shitty humor but I will go with Katy.
They have all been contaminated with shitty humor but I will go with Katy.
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9:43AM on 09/06/2012
Katy. No question.
Katy. No question.
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-1
8:52AM on 09/06/2012
Imogen looks really good but I have to vote for Katy.
Imogen looks really good but I have to vote for Katy.
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8:23AM on 09/06/2012
Katy Perry
Katy Perry
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3:20AM on 09/06/2012

Imogen Thomas

I don't really care for the other two.
I don't really care for the other two.
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