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Battle of the Babes #227: Battle of the Backsides

Sep. 27, 2012by: Cherry Liquor

As far as I'm concerned, I think the promotional saturation that goes on for movies such as HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA is what kills the mood on what could potentially be a cute family film. You feel dragged to it by the kids who want to get every Happy Meal toy that goes along with the film, the trailers keep quoting voice actors' names because they know the parents are listening, hoping for a little something to hold onto to get them through the movie. Having something to hold on to is a nice thing. These ladies have a whole lot to hold on to.

Nicole "Coco" Austin

Thou shall not mock Coco. When this became one of the prerequisites for staying my friend (don't bother asking if I have a lot of friends - I don't, but I sure do love having a bevel of acquaintances), I'm not sure. I love me some Coco. I love that she's fearless and crazy, innocence personified with her tits and ass hanging out. I love that she's been with the same man for well over a decade and is as devoted to him as he is to her. And frankly, I like that big, realistically dotted with cellulite ass. Life is not Photoshop, boys. You really need to get out more.

Kim Kardashian

I can't find two pictures where Kim Kardashian's ass looks the same size. I've searched through the vast ocean of images available and can't decide just how big this chick's ass really is. Granted, you can tell it's got size to it. You can tell it's got shape to it. You know she's known for it. Being that I've never met her personally, I refuse to declare her the ass queen until I've been allowed to touch it, coat it in flour and deep fry it. That's how you can tell you've got good ass. Right?

Vida Guerra

I'm really not all that familiar with Vida Guerra other than the fact that I first heard of her when I started working for this site because all the dudes were into her and her leaked nude pictures. Then came the Playboy spread. Now? Not quite sure what she does now and don't feel motivated enough to look it up. I'll say this, out of the three chicks in the battle today, she has the most interestingly shaped ass. As if "Apple Bottom Jeans" was a phrase created for her.

Which ass creates the most mass in your pants?

Source: IMDB

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10:37AM on 09/27/2012
Is this even a contest? Vida is like...the Pele of backside. No one's even close.
Is this even a contest? Vida is like...the Pele of backside. No one's even close.
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3:10AM on 09/27/2012

Vida Guerra

Vida is the only one I find remotely attractive.
Vida is the only one I find remotely attractive.
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5:20AM on 09/27/2012

Thumbs down because Biel and Keibler aren't in it.

Come on now!
Come on now!
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+4
7:50PM on 09/27/2012

In terms of ass...

I'd have to go with Vida, but in terms of overall hotness... Vida... But, if this was to pick the least annoying or most talented of the three... Huh... Still Vida. I'm confused... This was supposed to be a contest, wasn't it?
I'd have to go with Vida, but in terms of overall hotness... Vida... But, if this was to pick the least annoying or most talented of the three... Huh... Still Vida. I'm confused... This was supposed to be a contest, wasn't it?
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+4
9:55AM on 09/27/2012

If we are going by asses alone

It's got to be Vida.
It's got to be Vida.
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9:27AM on 09/27/2012

Vida

Vida's tush looks amazing.
Vida's tush looks amazing.
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7:49AM on 09/27/2012

So who are these women? Are they actresses?

Atleast Vida Guerra has actually done stuff.
Even if it's just been an ass double on Eastbound and Down.
Atleast Vida Guerra has actually done stuff.
Even if it's just been an ass double on Eastbound and Down.
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2:07AM on 09/27/2012

VIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The other 2 are a big hell no. Bigger than their ass.
The other 2 are a big hell no. Bigger than their ass.
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5:36PM on 09/27/2012

Coco has a plastic ass. Kardashian probably has to get hers waxed

Vida is the only reasonable option
Vida is the only reasonable option
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+3
2:54PM on 09/27/2012
Vida's posterior wins here , all damn day !!
Vida's posterior wins here , all damn day !!
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+2
8:10AM on 09/29/2012
Vida!!!
Vida!!!
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2:33AM on 09/28/2012
Vida Guerra!
Vida Guerra!
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8:21PM on 09/27/2012

Holy Moley!

Being a breast man all these years doesn't mean I don't know a nice round backside.

Vida!
Being a breast man all these years doesn't mean I don't know a nice round backside.

Vida!
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5:01PM on 09/27/2012

Vida

Her backside resembles too over-inflated, flesh-colored balloons. And I mean that as a compliment.
Her backside resembles too over-inflated, flesh-colored balloons. And I mean that as a compliment.
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4:35PM on 09/27/2012

Not even a contest!!!

Vida is by far hotter in all regards, sorry, but Kardashian looks like a tranny, am I the only one who thinks so.
Vida is by far hotter in all regards, sorry, but Kardashian looks like a tranny, am I the only one who thinks so.
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4:20PM on 09/27/2012
Vida ftw
Vida ftw
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7:07PM on 09/27/2012
Vida!
Vida!
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6:21PM on 09/27/2012

Vida

I don't know much about Coco (other than she looks kinda plastic) but there's no way in hell I'll ever vote for Kim Kardashian unless the other two competitors were Ann Coulter and Michele Bachmann.
I don't know much about Coco (other than she looks kinda plastic) but there's no way in hell I'll ever vote for Kim Kardashian unless the other two competitors were Ann Coulter and Michele Bachmann.
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12:56PM on 09/27/2012
Vida all day...That ass works it, but the rest of her is just [link]
Vida all day...That ass works it, but the rest of her is just [link]
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8:33AM on 09/27/2012

Vida

Kim K has an undeniably amazing body. But Vida Guerra has had a special place my "heart" since the beginning of high school. Vida takes the win for me.
Kim K has an undeniably amazing body. But Vida Guerra has had a special place my "heart" since the beginning of high school. Vida takes the win for me.
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5:41AM on 09/27/2012
Vida Guerra's ass is so firm. And it's actually round, not wide. Yes, it's wide in a way, but it's more round than it is wide. Kim's is the exact opposite. It's more wide than it is round. Also Kim has a butt crease....Those suck.
Vida Guerra's ass is so firm. And it's actually round, not wide. Yes, it's wide in a way, but it's more round than it is wide. Kim's is the exact opposite. It's more wide than it is round. Also Kim has a butt crease....Those suck.
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3:18AM on 09/27/2012

Coco

Coco because YOLO. Am I right?
Coco because YOLO. Am I right?
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-3
10:03AM on 09/27/2012

Kim

Not that I'm a fan of hers or anything but based on looks alone, she's my pick.
Not that I'm a fan of hers or anything but based on looks alone, she's my pick.
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10:59AM on 09/27/2012
Kardashian
Kardashian
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