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Battle of the Babes #237: Playing for Keeps Babes

Dec. 6, 2012by: Cherry Liquor

I much rather prefer Gerard Butler in 300 to any of these rom-coms that he keeps popping up in, including this week's release, PLAYING FOR KEEPS. What, because he's gotten to be of a certain age, he can no longer kick ass and now has the be the romantic foil for a woman 20 years younger than him? He's so much better than that! He makes people eat dinner in hell! Actually, now that I think about it, rom-coms are a special kind of hell, so...

Judy Greer

I love Judy Greer. Love her, love her, love her. I love a woman who isn't afraid to be funny, silly, goofy, sexy. I like that she was the loopy scientist on that one episode of "The Big Bang Theory" who also happened to be a raging sex maniac hoping to bed down all of the nerd boys at the same time. ("Now I like I'd like it hot, brown and sweet..." F*CK I LOVE THE WAY SHE DELIVERED THAT LINE!!!) No matter what I watch Judy in and no matter how they try to play her unique looks into something that is supposed to come off as ugly or dowdy, all I think about is wanting to tear the clothes from her milky white flesh. Yes, I admit it. I cannot pay my rent. Do with me what you will, Judy Greer. Do it hard.

Jessica Biel

While I might have featured Vera Miles in last week's Battle of the Babes because she was the original, real-life actress whom Jessica Biel was embodying for the biopic, I thought since she's in the movie and all, I'd add her to the list. (Duh.) I was tempted to use only the more mature actresses from the movie but frankly, as the years have passed I've really gained a great deal of respect for Biel. She's still relatively young and yet she has this verve about doing more, getting better, etc. I root for her not because she's a babe but because she works past that babe-a-tude to find a greater inner actress.

Catherine Zeta-Jones

So hard for me to put down CZJ because I thought she was a complete and utter knockout who could never be beaten in any babe match-up before I even knew that one day I'd be writing babe battles. In her beginning years, especially that ass sliding under the red beams scene, nothing could touch her. But over time I've grown weary of her marriage to the much older guy, the disgusting pictures of her smoking while she was 8 months pregnant with her second child (topless on the family yacht, no less) and the vain attempt to push her real, underlying bitch face under the rug by claiming mental health issues. I give a thumbs up to the old Catherine. I add her here because she's still a decent actress. But in a grander sense, eh...

Which actress would you most like to play keeps with?

Extra Tidbit: Of course Grace Kelly won the Battle of the Babes last week. I was hoping that some of you might be a Vera fan (I love Grace as a whole but as a Hitchcock babe, Vera was always my fave, believe it or not... still blame the influence of my dad, who said, after reading my column - "How could these little pricks not appreciate the rack on Leigh?" Yep, that's my pops!) but it seems that when you're a diehard, you're a diehard. Grace Kelly, you win!
Source: IMDB

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9:13AM on 12/07/2012

Jessica Biel

..All the way! ....But Greer is funny. Whenever I see her I instantly think of her character Cheryl/Carol from Archer. I can even hear her voice in my head, "You're not my supervisor!"
..All the way! ....But Greer is funny. Whenever I see her I instantly think of her character Cheryl/Carol from Archer. I can even hear her voice in my head, "You're not my supervisor!"
Your Reply:



11:55PM on 12/06/2012
Biel.
Biel.
Your Reply:



+0
11:28PM on 12/06/2012
Late 90's CZJ.

If that doesn't count, then Biel.
Late 90's CZJ.

If that doesn't count, then Biel.
Your Reply:



10:28PM on 12/06/2012

Greer

Jessica's got a great body and all, but Greer's got spunk.
Jessica's got a great body and all, but Greer's got spunk.
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11:28AM on 12/07/2012
I agree. When I picture Jessica, I see a (beautiful) statue. Same frozen smile, never looks like she's having fun. Just the vibe I get. Judy's always having fun.
I agree. When I picture Jessica, I see a (beautiful) statue. Same frozen smile, never looks like she's having fun. Just the vibe I get. Judy's always having fun.
+3
9:39PM on 12/06/2012
I'll take me some Judy Greer any damn day of the week . Biel's built for fun , but she's no Judy Greer .
I'll take me some Judy Greer any damn day of the week . Biel's built for fun , but she's no Judy Greer .
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12:59PM on 12/06/2012

Uma Thurman

she's also in this movie ;)
she's also in this movie ;)
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+1
12:23PM on 12/06/2012
I'm going with Judy, also hair up, glasses on, lol. She's a kick - not afraid to look goofy, but adorable all the same.

I'm going with Judy, also hair up, glasses on, lol. She's a kick - not afraid to look goofy, but adorable all the same.

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12:05PM on 12/06/2012

Catherine Zeta-Jones

You may be right with all the negative stuff about her, but she still revs my engine something fierce. A classic hottie.
You may be right with all the negative stuff about her, but she still revs my engine something fierce. A classic hottie.
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11:41AM on 12/06/2012
Jessica, even though she is soiled by the Timbercock
Jessica, even though she is soiled by the Timbercock
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10:53AM on 12/06/2012

Jessica

Easy win, best face, best bod.
Easy win, best face, best bod.
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9:22AM on 12/06/2012

Judy

"Hair up, glasses on."
"Hair up, glasses on."
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9:49AM on 12/06/2012
I don't blame you man, Judy is so hot.
I don't blame you man, Judy is so hot.
8:35AM on 12/06/2012

All 3 are smokin'...

But I've had a burning desire for Catherine since I first started liking girls so she always wins.
But I've had a burning desire for Catherine since I first started liking girls so she always wins.
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5:50AM on 12/06/2012

Based on face alone

Jessica
Jessica
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10:31PM on 12/06/2012
I think her face is her least attractive quality. I mean, that nose looks faker than a three dollar bill.
I think her face is her least attractive quality. I mean, that nose looks faker than a three dollar bill.
+1
5:45AM on 12/06/2012
Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Catherine Zeta-Jones.
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5:34AM on 12/06/2012
Catherine Zeta-Jones. She's already sealed her place as a classic hottie...she just oozes elegant sex appeal, and is this week's Hottie of the Week o'er here too!
Catherine Zeta-Jones. She's already sealed her place as a classic hottie...she just oozes elegant sex appeal, and is this week's Hottie of the Week o'er here too!
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5:07AM on 12/06/2012

Jessica Biel

It took me a while to appreciate her but Biel does have an incredibly fit body.

As for the extra tidbit I do really like Janet Leigh's boobs but Grace was the whole package.
It took me a while to appreciate her but Biel does have an incredibly fit body.

As for the extra tidbit I do really like Janet Leigh's boobs but Grace was the whole package.
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2:27AM on 12/06/2012
Jessica Biel is the clear winner.

*droooool*
Jessica Biel is the clear winner.

*droooool*
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