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Battle of the Babes #26

10.30.2008by: Cherry Liquor

The count for last week's Battle is as stands: Megan Fox had 6 votes, Charlize had 5 and Salma cleaned up with 13. So much for the argument that when you get older, age ruins you. This week, let's take a look at some of the less obvious Kevin Smith chicks, because when you filter out the bromance laced through his storylines, you'll find that a lot of the movie relies on hot (and often times smart) women.

Claire Forlani

Claire Forlani normally wouldn't have been my first choice from MALLRATS, as her character of Brandi, the whining girlfriend to the good-intentioned T.S., was just annoying as f*ck. But even when I pit her against her co-star (and my favorite bad girl) Shannen Doherty, I'd be pretty stupid to not notice how damn hot Forlani is. Based on characters, Rene will remain my love from the sophomoric effort by Smith (and despite popular opinion that this movie sucked, it's actually my second favorite of his under CLERKS) if for the Mighty Mouse speech alone. But Forlani's eyes have you at "Hellllloooo Nurse!"

Linda Fiorentino

Flying past CHASING AMY, let's go the opposite direction of Joey Lauren Adams' high-pitched tone and straight into the sultry hotness that always has been Linda Fiorentino's vocal chords. As the beleaguered Bethany, saddled with infertility, being the last hope for civilization and having to fend off sexual advances from Jay, Fiorentino rocked. Most will simply point out the strip club scene in DOGMA featuring Salma Hayek. I love the woman, but it was more satisfying to watch her in FRIDA where she actually bares her frijoles. DOGMA might have been flawed, but with T.S. type intentions.

Shannon Elizabeth

Oh, how I clearly recall the moment when my respect for Smith began to spiral out of control. First he gives me a bunch of hotties, including Shannon Elizabeth, as leather-clad robbers, then he's throwing in an orangutan and shoving Dawson's huge noggin in my face. JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK was a messy disaster, even with the appearance of Morris Day. Fart jokes and including the Playboy playmate who married you for "love"? Yeah, suddenly that guy who made being a fanboy/girl socially acceptable (if not outright coveted) turned around and pissed all over us for our troubles.

I have my fingers crossed for ZACK & MIRI, but I've also got whopping doubts. However, this is about hotties, so come at me with your fave.

Source: IMDB

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5:48PM on 11/04/2008
Gotta go with Shannon Elizabeth. I own American Pie and can see her topless whenever I want.


I've taken advantage of that fact many times.
Gotta go with Shannon Elizabeth. I own American Pie and can see her topless whenever I want.


I've taken advantage of that fact many times.
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3:20AM on 11/03/2008
Shannon Elizabeth . . . for the same reason as poopontheshoes7.
Shannon Elizabeth . . . for the same reason as poopontheshoes7.
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1:24AM on 11/02/2008
I'm going with Fiorentino.

Forlani is hot, but her accent turns me off and I can't stand Elizabeth. Linda is just a sultry and sexy woman.
I'm going with Fiorentino.

Forlani is hot, but her accent turns me off and I can't stand Elizabeth. Linda is just a sultry and sexy woman.
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5:57AM on 11/01/2008
I vote for Forlani!
I vote for Forlani!
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4:20PM on 10/31/2008
Claire gets my vote.
Claire gets my vote.
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2:41PM on 10/31/2008
Of the three I would go with Linda but if we are just going with less obvious hot girls I would go with Eliza Dushku, that girl is smoking.
Of the three I would go with Linda but if we are just going with less obvious hot girls I would go with Eliza Dushku, that girl is smoking.
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12:59PM on 10/31/2008
Although both Shannon & Linda are hot, I am a sucker for Claire Forlani. Those gorgeous eyes make me melt.
Although both Shannon & Linda are hot, I am a sucker for Claire Forlani. Those gorgeous eyes make me melt.
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9:40AM on 10/31/2008
Shannon Elizabeth defintely gets my vote.
Shannon Elizabeth defintely gets my vote.
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9:33AM on 10/31/2008
i am going to have to go with Forlani on this one. i started scrolling down and immediately after i saw Forlani up first, i said to myself, damn, it is going to take a lot to make me NOT pick her. i got to Elizabeth, which made me falter a bit i will admit, but even she wasnt enough to sway my immediate reaction.
i am going to have to go with Forlani on this one. i started scrolling down and immediately after i saw Forlani up first, i said to myself, damn, it is going to take a lot to make me NOT pick her. i got to Elizabeth, which made me falter a bit i will admit, but even she wasnt enough to sway my immediate reaction.
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2:15AM on 10/31/2008

Ugh

I meant respectively.


But I DO mean respectably, as well, now that I think about it! Though I'm not sure how one can respectably throw someone off of a cliff.
I meant respectively.


But I DO mean respectably, as well, now that I think about it! Though I'm not sure how one can respectably throw someone off of a cliff.
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1:14AM on 10/31/2008
I'd have to go for Forlani. Hot as hell, and respectable as well.

If we're playing marry, fuck, throw off a cliff, it would be Elizabeth, Forlani, and Fiorentino respectably. I'd rather marry and fuck Forlani repeatedly than just fuck Elizabeth once. Forlani seems like she would be more interesting to talk to and hang out with before AND after.
I'd have to go for Forlani. Hot as hell, and respectable as well.

If we're playing marry, fuck, throw off a cliff, it would be Elizabeth, Forlani, and Fiorentino respectably. I'd rather marry and fuck Forlani repeatedly than just fuck Elizabeth once. Forlani seems like she would be more interesting to talk to and hang out with before AND after.
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1:12AM on 10/31/2008
Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon

No fucking contest
Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon Shannon

No fucking contest
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12:17AM on 10/31/2008
Linda, she was hot in Dogma
Linda, she was hot in Dogma
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12:15AM on 10/31/2008

I'm gonna have to go with...

Shannon. With Claire coming in second.
Shannon. With Claire coming in second.
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10:04PM on 10/30/2008
Shannon. I was about 10 when I saw her tits on American Pie. My life changed forever.
Shannon. I was about 10 when I saw her tits on American Pie. My life changed forever.
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10:00PM on 10/30/2008

Going gaa-gaa here...

Okay... my head's about to explode trying to decide. Each of these choices is uberfine.

If I gotta pick, I'll go with Forlani in a near photo-finish.

Honestly though, I'd prefer a dead heat where all three join me in the winner's circle!
Okay... my head's about to explode trying to decide. Each of these choices is uberfine.

If I gotta pick, I'll go with Forlani in a near photo-finish.

Honestly though, I'd prefer a dead heat where all three join me in the winner's circle!
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8:27PM on 10/30/2008
out of these three, Shannon. however, if i had my choice of Kevin's choices, it would be Ali Larter, with Liv Tyler a very close second.
out of these three, Shannon. however, if i had my choice of Kevin's choices, it would be Ali Larter, with Liv Tyler a very close second.
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7:44PM on 10/30/2008
Claire Forlani, by miles and miles.
Claire Forlani, by miles and miles.
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7:05PM on 10/30/2008
Shannon! Followed closely by Claire. Leaving Linda way behind.

And Kevin Smith Rules!
Shannon! Followed closely by Claire. Leaving Linda way behind.

And Kevin Smith Rules!
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6:41PM on 10/30/2008
Claire
Claire
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