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Battle of the Babes #48

Apr. 16, 2009by: Cherry Liquor

I like boobs. I have a pair of my own and I enjoy them as often as I can. Any woman who tries to tell you that her breasts aren't the most fun part of her body is a damn liar. Sure, it takes some adjustment time to deal with them when they first come in and you're a young girl warding off the advances of men who should know better, but there's not a single person on this planet (including all of my gay male friends) who don't appreciate the glorious nature of the boob. So this week's battle is over which one of these breast-hogging women needs to give up the goods already.

Scarlett Johansson

This is the Holy Grail of "Why the f*ck hasn't someone paid her enough money to flash them damn things by now?" Babes. I go back and forth between liking ScarJo (after all, the bitch DID take Ryan Reynolds off the market), because she does wear some revealing outfits and definitely knows how to play up that cleavage. But as far as the full, real deal, it's yet to be seen. My bet is that it'll be a disappointing Haile Berry SWORDFISH moment, but I'm begging, so I'm not choosy.

Jennifer Aniston

JenAni is another one of those Hollywood bitches who taunts us with side boob and underboob and full boob except sans areola covered with her fingertips. It's getting old, Jen. Kinda like you. It was great to get a chance to ogle the ass in THE BREAK-UP, but as nice as ass can be, there is a magical power to the breasticles that the ass just can't match. So piss or get off the damn pot, woman. You already lost your man because you wouldn't give him a baby, the least you could do is give your dwindling fan base a taste of the full orb.

Jessica Alba

Personally, I think that Alba has a bloated sense of ego when she talks about how she has a no-nudity clause in her contract. Sure, she should have been topless when she played Nancy Callahan in SIN CITY, that's the way even gay Frank Miller drew the character to be. Instead, we got a writhing and fully clothed stripper out of Alba. And a stand-in set of boobies for her movie THE SLEEPING DICTIONARY. Now that she's got a set of mom tits, I'd like to see them. And considering that she makes shit movies and is a barely passable actress, if she doesn't start getting real about either baring the skin or getting some acting lessons, I don't think she's going to be riding the A-List train very much longer.

This whole post came off a little negative to me. See what happens when you withhold the goods? People get cranky. So start showing! It's for ART, DOGDAMMIT!!

Extra Tidbit: I almost included Sarah Jessica Parker in there, not because she's hot or anything but because even the coldest heart out there won't admit that she doesn't have a rack that is sensational.
Source: IMDB

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9:24AM on 04/20/2009

write in vote

how do you not include Jennifer Love Hewitt in the battle? JLH would get my vote hands down followed very closely by Scarlett.
how do you not include Jennifer Love Hewitt in the battle? JLH would get my vote hands down followed very closely by Scarlett.
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2:01AM on 04/19/2009
Scarlett!

Alba second.
Scarlett!

Alba second.
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12:16AM on 04/18/2009
ScarJo, followed at a respectful distance by Jessica Alba.

I don't have much time for Jennifer Aniston as an actress.
ScarJo, followed at a respectful distance by Jessica Alba.

I don't have much time for Jennifer Aniston as an actress.
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2:38PM on 04/17/2009

Wow

Scarlett Definitely!!!
Aniston Second
Scarlett Definitely!!!
Aniston Second
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9:07AM on 04/17/2009
wow, a very hard one this time.. all of them are hot as hell. alba on 3 of course, aniston on 2 though.
wow, a very hard one this time.. all of them are hot as hell. alba on 3 of course, aniston on 2 though.
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8:35AM on 04/17/2009
This one's tough, they're all hot. I'd love for all three to get naked, but if I had to pick just one it would be Alba.
This one's tough, they're all hot. I'd love for all three to get naked, but if I had to pick just one it would be Alba.
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1:05AM on 04/17/2009
Scarlett Johansson wins by a mile in this one
Scarlett Johansson wins by a mile in this one
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9:35PM on 04/16/2009
Absolutely no interest in any of them
Absolutely no interest in any of them
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6:18PM on 04/16/2009
I like all 3

1. Scarjo
2. Aniston
3. Alba
I like all 3

1. Scarjo
2. Aniston
3. Alba
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5:01PM on 04/16/2009
While I definitely would love to see all 3, I'll easily take ScarJo over the other 2. She's the holy grail of "boobs yet to be seen". Every, and I mean EVERY, time I see a photo of her I undress her with my eyes and the first thing to go is always her top.

Ya know what pisses me off? I heard she offered to show them in The Island (which is pretty cool nonetheless) but Michael Bay declined. DUUUUUUUDDDEEE, at least film it for the "unrated greatest edition ever cuz it has ScarJo boobies"
While I definitely would love to see all 3, I'll easily take ScarJo over the other 2. She's the holy grail of "boobs yet to be seen". Every, and I mean EVERY, time I see a photo of her I undress her with my eyes and the first thing to go is always her top.

Ya know what pisses me off? I heard she offered to show them in The Island (which is pretty cool nonetheless) but Michael Bay declined. DUUUUUUUDDDEEE, at least film it for the "unrated greatest edition ever cuz it has ScarJo boobies" Edition DVD. C'mon!!

Yep, ScarJo. Mmmmmmm.
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3:46PM on 04/16/2009

Alba all the way

Jessica Alba is not only hot but seems really sweet. Aniston looked better in the first season of Friends, but she's still cute. Scarlett I just can't stand.
Jessica Alba is not only hot but seems really sweet. Aniston looked better in the first season of Friends, but she's still cute. Scarlett I just can't stand.
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2:49PM on 04/16/2009

Jessica Alba

Hot as a blond or brunette.
Hot as a blond or brunette.
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2:26PM on 04/16/2009
ScarJo all the way with Alba close behind.

Get Aniston outta there right now. Completely boring looking on every level.
ScarJo all the way with Alba close behind.

Get Aniston outta there right now. Completely boring looking on every level.
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1:51PM on 04/16/2009
no question: ScarJo.
no question: ScarJo.
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1:33PM on 04/16/2009
SCARLETT!
SCARLETT!
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12:49PM on 04/16/2009
Scarlett, hands-on... ur, I mean hands-down. Both Aniston & Alba are highly over-rated (although Alba does look good in her Sin City outfit).
Scarlett, hands-on... ur, I mean hands-down. Both Aniston & Alba are highly over-rated (although Alba does look good in her Sin City outfit).
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12:41PM on 04/16/2009

Scarlett Johansson...

...if she was naked and pressing her boobs against Jessica Alba's naked boobs. That's my vote. Where's that choice Cherry?
...if she was naked and pressing her boobs against Jessica Alba's naked boobs. That's my vote. Where's that choice Cherry?
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12:26PM on 04/16/2009
Scarlett Johansson
Scarlett Johansson
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11:07AM on 04/16/2009

I wonder....

Scarlett for sure. She's the hottest of the three and the only decent actress of them all as well (even though she kinda sucks).
Scarlett for sure. She's the hottest of the three and the only decent actress of them all as well (even though she kinda sucks).
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11:01AM on 04/16/2009
Scarlett all the way. The woman is perfect. After that, I would go with Aniston then Alba. Aniston keeps getting better looking the older she gets.
Scarlett all the way. The woman is perfect. After that, I would go with Aniston then Alba. Aniston keeps getting better looking the older she gets.
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10:38AM on 04/16/2009

Tasty

Scarlett all the way. She is the full package, Looks, body and husky voice, mmmmmmmmmmm.. I don't really rate Aniston high at all. Alba is cute though.
Scarlett all the way. She is the full package, Looks, body and husky voice, mmmmmmmmmmm.. I don't really rate Aniston high at all. Alba is cute though.
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9:58AM on 04/16/2009
It's got to be Scarlett. It might have been close if we were talking about mid '90's Aniston, but now it's not even close.
It's got to be Scarlett. It might have been close if we were talking about mid '90's Aniston, but now it's not even close.
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