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Battle of the Babes #86

Jan. 7, 2010by: Cherry Liquor

I was trying my damnedest to figure out which route to go with when it came to a Battle for this week. I contemplated vampire babes, I thought about not so revolting youthful babes, I even tried to see if there were enough babes born on leap year to use. However, what I settled on was using the power of my Movie Fan Central dedicated, intelligent and unflaggingly supportive Schmoe buddies to see which of these action babes you'd prefer do some BITCH SLAP action on you. (Nothing to do with that movie, but good enough for me!)

Jessica Biel

In case any of you are new or might have forgotten, the IMDB link in the source for the Battle articles is my personal selection out of the three and I'm not even going to hide that if I had to have my ass handed to me by one of this week's babes, it would be Jessica Biel as Abigail Whistler in BLADE: TRINITY. Her body was at its bangin' peak, she was delving into the action acting chops that I think she reigns supreme at (please stop trying to do comedies, honey... stick to kicking ass) and dammit... I love a woman with a cross bow.

Charlize Theron

Alright, this selection is going out for my dearest sweetheart Schmoe chum, Skullbone. Sure, this isn't Charlize at her scariest in MONSTER and it's for one of the few movies of hers that I haven't seen (AEON FLUX, the box office flop based on the MTV cartoon that scared the living shit out of me when I was baked, although that show with the dude with the alien in his brain messed me up worse) but this image of her looking like she could kick your ass and make you smile afterward fit in with the other babes. (Although, come to think of it, Charlize in that white body suit kicking ass in 2 DAYS IN THE VALLEY was pretty damn hot too.)

Angelina Jolie

How could we have an asskicker on here and not include Angie? Forget the skinnier Jolie in MR. AND MRS. SMITH or the emaciated Angie in WANTED (sorry, neither of those characters did it for me), it was Angie who they actually padded up to have even bigger tits to play LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER. I might have been paying closer attention because I figured out that one glitch in the game where you could make Lara nude and I was easily pleased back then (not much has changed). But to think about getting bitch slapped and not include some Angie from her crazy years would just be a lapse in judgment.

Which tough action babe would you most love to get Bitch Slapped by?

Click on each photo to enlarge!

Extra Tidbit: I'm late in adding the winner from last week, sorry... but big thanks to Mark for pointing out that Sienna Miller was your favorite Capricorn babe getting 17 of the votes, Estella Warren coming in second with 7 votes and Kate Bosworth picking up the third prize with 3 of the votes.
Source: IMDB

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4:06AM on 01/10/2010
Though they're all a tad overrated, I'll go with Charlize.
Though they're all a tad overrated, I'll go with Charlize.
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5:59PM on 01/09/2010

Charlize

I'll take Charlize
I'll take Charlize
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7:59AM on 01/09/2010

Too easy!

Jessical Biel gets my vote. it's clear she's got the best body out of the group.
Jessical Biel gets my vote. it's clear she's got the best body out of the group.
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1:48PM on 01/08/2010

Too hard to pick so.....

I would choose to BE badass Jessical Biel from Trinity, be WITH badass Theron from Aeon Flux, and have us BOTH bitch slapped by the queen herself, Angelina! Quite the threesome dontcha think?
I would choose to BE badass Jessical Biel from Trinity, be WITH badass Theron from Aeon Flux, and have us BOTH bitch slapped by the queen herself, Angelina! Quite the threesome dontcha think?
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+0
12:31PM on 01/08/2010

Biel

tough one.
tough one.
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11:12AM on 01/08/2010

Charlize

easy as pie.
easy as pie.
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8:38AM on 01/08/2010

Charlize all the way

Angie is way overrated and altough Jessica is hot, Charlize wins this one
Angie is way overrated and altough Jessica is hot, Charlize wins this one
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2:06AM on 01/08/2010

Biel

Jessica Biel hands down. Ridicilous body all around. Easy choice here
Jessica Biel hands down. Ridicilous body all around. Easy choice here
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1:46AM on 01/08/2010

JESSICA BIEL- xoxo

Has won this 1, shes a hard sexyass worker & her time has come
Has won this 1, shes a hard sexyass worker & her time has come
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+0
1:35AM on 01/08/2010
Defo Charlize Theron.
Defo Charlize Theron.
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1:10AM on 01/08/2010

Angie!

jesus did jolie have the best body in tomb raider
jesus did jolie have the best body in tomb raider
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2:10AM on 01/08/2010
Uhhhhhhh!......Well she was the main character and basically the only actress in the film. That's a very poor argument.
Uhhhhhhh!......Well she was the main character and basically the only actress in the film. That's a very poor argument.
10:35PM on 01/07/2010

Theron

Easy.
Easy.
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+0
10:18PM on 01/07/2010
I would have thought that Kate Beckinsale would be in this battle over Biel though..
I would have thought that Kate Beckinsale would be in this battle over Biel though..
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+0
9:31PM on 01/07/2010

w o w

this is some tough shit but the winner is drum roll, jolie dont hate
this is some tough shit but the winner is drum roll, jolie dont hate
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5:54PM on 01/07/2010
Very tough this time around, but Charlize has been a fave of mine forever so have to go with her, but it was tough to choose. I'd enjoy getting mt ass handed to me by all of them.
Very tough this time around, but Charlize has been a fave of mine forever so have to go with her, but it was tough to choose. I'd enjoy getting mt ass handed to me by all of them.
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+0
5:27PM on 01/07/2010

Biel!

Biel by a mile. I agree with Shoes7 that Jolie is one of the most overrated women ever, she always looked like a tranny to me. Charlize is cute but not beautiful.
Biel by a mile. I agree with Shoes7 that Jolie is one of the most overrated women ever, she always looked like a tranny to me. Charlize is cute but not beautiful.
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4:55PM on 01/07/2010

Charlize

Charlize!!!
Charlize!!!
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+0
4:50PM on 01/07/2010

ANGELINA

I loved Tomb Raider before the film.
I loved Tomb Raider before the film.
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+0
4:35PM on 01/07/2010
Nice choices Liquor! But hands down CHARLIZE...that's my lady!
Nice choices Liquor! But hands down CHARLIZE...that's my lady!
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4:12PM on 01/07/2010
Biel all the way. Theron is dead sexy though for sure.
Biel all the way. Theron is dead sexy though for sure.
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+0
4:01PM on 01/07/2010

WANTED

Would love to combine her physic from Wanted with the dominatrix outfit from Mr. & Mrs. Smith; howwwwwllll!
Would love to combine her physic from Wanted with the dominatrix outfit from Mr. & Mrs. Smith; howwwwwllll!
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+2
2:07PM on 01/07/2010

angelina!

shes beyond babe status.
shes an icon.
shes beyond babe status.
shes an icon.
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1:37PM on 01/07/2010
Biel. Jolie is one of the most overrated woman on the planet. Borders on ugly if you ask me.
Biel. Jolie is one of the most overrated woman on the planet. Borders on ugly if you ask me.
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4:49PM on 01/07/2010
I agree when you said she is overrated because she is! WAAAAY OVERRATED! Although I wouldn't call her ugly though. Just OK looking.
I agree when you said she is overrated because she is! WAAAAY OVERRATED! Although I wouldn't call her ugly though. Just OK looking.
1:19PM on 01/07/2010

Jolie

Angelina is pretty much the embodiment of sexuality. Those DSL's, great tits, perfect ass, beautiful eyes, long hair...you really can't compete with that from a pure hotness standpoint.
Angelina is pretty much the embodiment of sexuality. Those DSL's, great tits, perfect ass, beautiful eyes, long hair...you really can't compete with that from a pure hotness standpoint.
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1:12PM on 01/07/2010

Last week's results

I was curious to know the results of last week's battle of the babes so I counted the votes myself. Sienna Miller came in 1st with 17. Estella Warren was 2nd with 7. And Kate Bosworth was 3rd with 3. I'm quite happy with those results since I'm a huge fan of Sienna Miller.
I was curious to know the results of last week's battle of the babes so I counted the votes myself. Sienna Miller came in 1st with 17. Estella Warren was 2nd with 7. And Kate Bosworth was 3rd with 3. I'm quite happy with those results since I'm a huge fan of Sienna Miller.
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+0
1:11PM on 01/07/2010

Charlize Theron

I'm with beatrixkiddo. Biel is to manly and muscular for me. I don't find her hot at all. And Jolie, for some reason, just gives me the creeps. So my vote goes to Theron, easily.
I'm with beatrixkiddo. Biel is to manly and muscular for me. I don't find her hot at all. And Jolie, for some reason, just gives me the creeps. So my vote goes to Theron, easily.
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1:09PM on 01/07/2010

Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel ......Oh Yeah
Jessica Biel ......Oh Yeah
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12:09PM on 01/07/2010
Biel.
Biel.
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-1
12:00PM on 01/07/2010

Jessica!!!

Definately Biel. She is the hottest.
Definately Biel. She is the hottest.
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11:30AM on 01/07/2010
I guess I'll go with Angelina Jolie.
I guess I'll go with Angelina Jolie.
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11:27AM on 01/07/2010
I don't get why people find Jessica Biel attractive. She looks sort of man-ish to me. But everyone likes what they like. It's hard to choose between Angelina & Charlize. But for some reason I've gotta give it to Angelina.
I don't get why people find Jessica Biel attractive. She looks sort of man-ish to me. But everyone likes what they like. It's hard to choose between Angelina & Charlize. But for some reason I've gotta give it to Angelina.
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11:10AM on 01/07/2010

Angelina

Tough choice as everyone else has said, but I gotta go with Angie. Can't really argue with any of these choices though.
Tough choice as everyone else has said, but I gotta go with Angie. Can't really argue with any of these choices though.
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11:09AM on 01/07/2010
The Aeon Flux movie was shit, but Charlize was badass and hot as hell in it. I'll vote for her.
The Aeon Flux movie was shit, but Charlize was badass and hot as hell in it. I'll vote for her.
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10:14AM on 01/07/2010
Tough as hell to choose here, but going to have to go with Biel.
Tough as hell to choose here, but going to have to go with Biel.
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9:06AM on 01/07/2010

Jessica Biel

Something about her.
Something about her.
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8:49AM on 01/07/2010
I have to agree with the others, this is probably the toughest battle ever. All 3 are friggin gorgeous in their "ass kicking prime". I guess I'm goin majority here as well though and casting my vote for Beil. Not easy though.
I have to agree with the others, this is probably the toughest battle ever. All 3 are friggin gorgeous in their "ass kicking prime". I guess I'm goin majority here as well though and casting my vote for Beil. Not easy though.
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8:18AM on 01/07/2010

good battle

charlize's face, jessica's legs and ass, and angelina's tits = total package. but if since the law frowns upon piecing women together, i'll have to go with jessica.
charlize's face, jessica's legs and ass, and angelina's tits = total package. but if since the law frowns upon piecing women together, i'll have to go with jessica.
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+0
7:30AM on 01/07/2010
holy fuck, thats the first actual hard one... actually... impossible to chose... all of them are some of the hottest out there. no particular vote possible.
holy fuck, thats the first actual hard one... actually... impossible to chose... all of them are some of the hottest out there. no particular vote possible.
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6:31AM on 01/07/2010

Angie!

Angelina.....all the way baby!
Angelina.....all the way baby!
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6:02AM on 01/07/2010
This was tough, but Jessica Biel gets my vote!
This was tough, but Jessica Biel gets my vote!
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5:02AM on 01/07/2010

This is very easy.........

Jessica Biel!!!!!!!!!!
Jessica Biel!!!!!!!!!!
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4:54AM on 01/07/2010

Whistler

Tough choice. Normally Charlize gets my auto-vote. But I literally was turning off Blade 3 on my first viewing (and being a huge Blade fan) when Biel made her screen appearance in this 'Tell me if this hurts Chica' scene. This totally saved the suckfest (pun intended) Blade 3 had become and if not for her I wouldn't have watched the rest of the movie. So, hurrah for Jessica...and I agree, no more comedies.
Tough choice. Normally Charlize gets my auto-vote. But I literally was turning off Blade 3 on my first viewing (and being a huge Blade fan) when Biel made her screen appearance in this 'Tell me if this hurts Chica' scene. This totally saved the suckfest (pun intended) Blade 3 had become and if not for her I wouldn't have watched the rest of the movie. So, hurrah for Jessica...and I agree, no more comedies.
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4:51AM on 01/07/2010

Biel

This was a tough one, I'd take a beat down by all three at the same time if I could, but I'll go with Jessica Biel.
This was a tough one, I'd take a beat down by all three at the same time if I could, but I'll go with Jessica Biel.
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4:48AM on 01/07/2010
Tomb Raider Angie gets the vote here. I miss crazy Angie as well.
Tomb Raider Angie gets the vote here. I miss crazy Angie as well.
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3:30AM on 01/07/2010
Nooo! A tough one! I know on your MFC page I said Charlize Theron... but I have to go with Jessica Biel because a crossbow is the most badass weapon on the planet.
Nooo! A tough one! I know on your MFC page I said Charlize Theron... but I have to go with Jessica Biel because a crossbow is the most badass weapon on the planet.
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3:10AM on 01/07/2010
Jolie all the way. Not a second's hesitation.
Jolie all the way. Not a second's hesitation.
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