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Body Shop: Christina Ricci

Aug. 7, 2007by: Mr. Pink

The transition from child actor to successful adult thespian is rife with pitfalls, well documented 24/7 thanks to VH1 and E! among others. Today's hottie managed it, though, with nary a whisper of the traditional drug and alcohol infused binges that have become so commonplace. For that I give much respect, along with the baser reactions that her delicious form inspires. Let's hear it for: CHRISTINA RICCI!

Check her out in - Speed Racer

ASS (6/10):

Flat like day old cola, and she knows it. Just about every pic you can find of Ricci either hides or de-emphasizes her back cans in favor of the much more plush pair up front. In fact, unless you want to suffer through that piece of shit she sleepwalked through with Jason Biggs, beach candids are about as close as you're going to get at a clear shot of the puzzle that is great hips and curves, but no backend.

BOOBIES (9/10):

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! Somewhere between THE ADDAMS FAMILY and THE OPPOSITE OF SEX, Mz. Chriz got a visit from the boob fairy and the results were spectacular. As she's gotten older her weight has varied (in scary ways at times) a great deal, but one constant has been the mammary perfection she upholds. Whether on a red carpet (slightly NSFW), or just proving they can stay perky even when their owner slouches (very NSFW) these examples of buxom beautification promise to inspire throughout the ages.

FACE (7/10):

Should I focus on those wide, expressive eyes? Or deal with the fact that below the nose it looks like she got hit by a shrink ray? Doesn't really matter since any discussion of her looks flirts with the "C-word" all women hate so much - cute. Not hot in the traditional sense, just cute. Very cute, even, but cute nonetheless.

PERSONALITY (9/10):

Did I call her cute? To counterbalance that four-letter word is a personality that shows edge is an attitude, not bad judgment. CRic comes across as cool and crazy. Cool enough to hang with, crazy enough that you think she might give you a shot if you don't say something stupid. She's good about keeping her personal proclivities out of the gossip columns, though, so no definitive evidence as to whether crazy means let's get it on inside a Mardi Gras float, or silence worm, you can breathe when I tell you to breathe!

CAREER (7/10):

As I mentioned in the intro, her transition from child to adult star is very impressive. That said, she's been in a huge number of films and they run the gamut from outstanding to just painful. She seems to have a Michael Caine-like ability to show up in anything, though she has managed to avoid any crappy JAWS sequels to date. She's a great actress who will likely continue to show up in projects scaling from Oscar worthy to complete WTF's!?

High points: BUFFALO '66, THE OPPOSITE OF SEX, PUMPKIN, MONSTER
Low points: THAT DARN CAT, ANYTHING ELSE, CURSED

OVERALL (8/10):

A lot of Christina's appeal comes from her uniqueness. Unique project choices. Unique face. Uniquely perfect set of boobs. Enhancing her draw is an apparent lack of the celebrity self-obsession that dictates she make every party and get written up every week. Most of what we know about her comes from the performances she gives, and that my friends tells a helluva interesting tale.

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