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Body Shop: Halle Berry

May. 9, 2011by: Mr. Pink

Since Mother's Day just passed it only seemed apropos to feature one of the hottest MILF's on the planet. She may or may not be a good mom, in fact she seems kinda crazy, but as to lookin' good, she's got that down pat. Without further ado, this week's hot mamma is: HALLE BERRY!

Check her out in - The Rum Diary

ASS (10/10):

Halle's not really known for her back cheeks, but she's got the dual benefit of natural amplitude mixed with a sick genetic trend towards in shapeness. Given that she clearly has a stellar work ethic and a helluva a trainer, it's a heady combo.

BOOBIES (9/10):

Post SWORDFISH you can barely turn around without bumping into another nude shot of Berry's berries. While I don't think they are worth the reported 500K she got for unleashing them the first time, they are a stunning and lovely sight that pay tribute to how truly great some boobage can be.

FACE (10/10):

No question this is a beautiful woman. It's a bit hard for me to do this category because the quality of her look leaves me cold, but I can still recognize that she's got a face that qualifies as one of the most stunning on the planet. The fact that I don't personally respond to it is more or less immaterial in this case.

PERSONALITY (6/10):

Ugh, what a train wreck. This woman seems to be a hodge podge of crazy, weird self-esteem issues and the real killer, kinda ditzy. I can barely stand to listen to her do an interview. As soon as the fake laugh, clap, lean in happens (usually in the first 30 sec) I just see red. I often wonder if people not wanting to be around her is part of the reason her career isn't as accomplished as it should be. I do give her credit for showing up to collect her Razzie in person and making a pretty hilarious speech though.

CAREER (9/10):

I'll be honest, if it wasn't for that one thing, I'd rate her a 7 here. Sure she's been in some great movies, but her work is also filled with complete clunkers, and the more telling part is that she rarely fills the screen with a character. Outside of MONSTER'S BALL it pretty much always feels like she's playing herself. Even with the Oscar I was prepared to give her a 7. But it is impossible to ignore that she was the first African American Best Actress winner. No matter what else her career holds, the historical significance of that fact is huge.

High points: JUNGLE FEVER, X-MEN, MONSTER'S BALL
Low points: THE FLINTSTONES, BULWORTH, CATWOMAN

OVERALL (9/10):

Halle Berry is scorch your eyes hot, and with her Oscar win, also turned herself into a historical icon. Now since then her output has been sketchy at best, but she's earned the right I suppose. She may not be my cup of tea specifically, but it doesn't alter the fact that by almost any metric, this is one of the most desirable women on the planet.

Source: MovieHotties
Tags: Halle Berry

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4:56AM on 05/12/2011
Ten years ago . . . absolutely! Now . . . absolutely not!
Ten years ago . . . absolutely! Now . . . absolutely not!
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6:38PM on 05/10/2011

Blisteringly Hot!

Always has been...always will be.
Always has been...always will be.
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5:53AM on 05/10/2011
MMM yes yes!!
MMM yes yes!!
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-8
11:02PM on 05/09/2011
Not a good actress and most importantly, NOT hot!
Not a good actress and most importantly, NOT hot!
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-5
7:38PM on 05/09/2011
Very overrated.She is pretty though...when she has long hair.
Very overrated.She is pretty though...when she has long hair.
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4:40PM on 05/09/2011
Mr. Pink,
Halle Berry is definitely NOT in 'The Rum Diary.'
Mr. Pink,
Halle Berry is definitely NOT in 'The Rum Diary.'
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4:39PM on 05/09/2011
Mr. Pink,
Halle Berry is definitely NOT in 'The Rum Diary.'
Mr. Pink,
Halle Berry is definitely NOT in 'The Rum Diary.'
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3:48PM on 05/09/2011
Basically another bitch who think she can get away with her crazy bullshit because she's hot. I'd give her a 1 for personality and probably a 6 for her career. Without that Oscar her career would be a disaster.
Basically another bitch who think she can get away with her crazy bullshit because she's hot. I'd give her a 1 for personality and probably a 6 for her career. Without that Oscar her career would be a disaster.
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3:24PM on 05/09/2011

I've heard she's a bitch...

I'm sure she'd be incredible in the sack but I wouldn't put up with her bullshit and neither did her last husband.

That bullshit where she grabbed Jamie Foxx's dick at the Spike Awards was such a skank move. If I were her husband, I would have divorced her ass in a hearbeat.
I'm sure she'd be incredible in the sack but I wouldn't put up with her bullshit and neither did her last husband.

That bullshit where she grabbed Jamie Foxx's dick at the Spike Awards was such a skank move. If I were her husband, I would have divorced her ass in a hearbeat.
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2:31PM on 05/09/2011
I have a friend who waited on her at a restaurant once and he said she was basically the second coming of super bitch.
I have a friend who waited on her at a restaurant once and he said she was basically the second coming of super bitch.
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1:31PM on 05/09/2011

crazy as a loon

but man would I love to pile drive her. So f..kn hot!
but man would I love to pile drive her. So f..kn hot!
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12:06PM on 05/09/2011
Physically: 11/10. Personality: 610. Career: 9/10 with the Oscar, but taking the Oscar out of consideration it drops to a 5/10.
Physically: 11/10. Personality: 610. Career: 9/10 with the Oscar, but taking the Oscar out of consideration it drops to a 5/10.
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11:21AM on 05/09/2011
I'd give her ass a 7 and her personality a 2.
I'd give her ass a 7 and her personality a 2.
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11:17AM on 05/09/2011
I'd give her boobies 10/10.
I'd give her boobies 10/10.
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11:12AM on 05/09/2011

10

C'mon. She's a 10. We all know it.
C'mon. She's a 10. We all know it.
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+6
10:34AM on 05/09/2011
Yep, I agree with all her scores. She's got a beautiful skin tone, too. I just wish she'd rock the longer hair more often, like in the first pics.
Yep, I agree with all her scores. She's got a beautiful skin tone, too. I just wish she'd rock the longer hair more often, like in the first pics.
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10:11AM on 05/09/2011
Great score.
Great score.
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