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Body Shop: Hilary Swank

Aug. 11, 2008by: Mr. Pink

It's gotta be tough when your first career defining role is as a boy - at least if you're a girl. Then again, the pretty/ugly transformation path to Oscar gold is well known and well worn, so perhaps the trade off is righteous if you know you've got the goods to "redefine" yourself as you see fit. And this week's lady has certainly done that. You already know I'm talking about: HILARY SWANK!

Check her out in - Amelia

ASS (7/10):

Swank's booty has never struck me as one of her finer attributes given that it often comes across as broad-ish, flat-ish, and even downright dumpy in some cases. At the same time, the pic below is one of the most outstanding views of a female backside perhaps in the history of man. So while it doesn't look like that all the time, the mere fact that her spanker can find a way to shine that strongly earns it some extra juice in the ratings.

BOOBIES (8/10):

Just f*cking lovely. This is a great example of why men love women's breasts so much. Soft, buoyant, well-formed, strong presence, but not frighteningly large or fake. These twin yummies pretty much went on a national tour after Boys Don't Cry so that Hilary could show she was all woman. Prove it she did, and thank goodness for that.

FACE (5/10):

Prettiest horse face I've ever seen. I gotta split this right down the middle, because it's a true half and half here. Swanker has definite elements to her visage that are delicate and fetching. And those elements are paired with teeth that are a good two sizes too large for her mouth and a manish bone structure that depending on the lighting and angle could leaving you feeling very hot, or downright bothered.

PERSONALITY (7/10):

HilS seems to have a good head on her shoulders and a generally affable demeanor. I've got a lot of respect for her overall, but do have to take issue with her outing ex-hubby's substance abuse issues. Like it isn't hard enough already to be the other Lowe. Still, I don't think it was the cynical publicity grab that some have accused her of, so we'll only ding her a little for her insensitivity/bad judgment.

CAREER (9/10):

I freely admit there isn't a lot she's done that knocks me out (ha, ah...get it), but how do you grade anybody who is two for two in the Oscar race as anything but perfect or just short. Sure she's had some clunkers, and there's more than one performance she's given that is plain awkward, but supposedly her peers are the experts at this so I'm deferring to their judgment. It doesn't mean I like it though.

High points: BOYS DON'T CRY, MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Low points: THE NEXT KARATE KID, THE AFFAIR OF THE NECKLACE

OVERALL (7/10):

There is seriously a lot to like about Hilary Swank, but I can't help the fact that anytime I think about being with her I have this image of her braying like a mule that leaps to mind. Maybe it's just me. I certainly can't put that on her I don't suppose, but this is a case where it seems that most of the individual elements don't add up as strongly as they should.

Source: MovieHotties
Tags: Hilary Swank

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8:27AM on 08/11/2008
yet again a good break down, but I'd give her an overall of 5 out of 10. And maybe give the bewbies a 9.
yet again a good break down, but I'd give her an overall of 5 out of 10. And maybe give the bewbies a 9.
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10:26AM on 08/11/2008

Huh?

Not happy with the final score. Her boobs deserve a 9 and her ass deserves an 8 for sure.
Not happy with the final score. Her boobs deserve a 9 and her ass deserves an 8 for sure.
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10:59AM on 08/11/2008
I almost forgot she was in Next Karate Kid. Insane.

She is good in the bod department, and I think her face is a little more than you give it credit for.
I almost forgot she was in Next Karate Kid. Insane.

She is good in the bod department, and I think her face is a little more than you give it credit for.
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11:35AM on 08/11/2008

Awesome

She won me over waaay back in The Next Karate Kid!!! I still remember wishing she would have been in a sequel. So I would say: Totally HOT!!!!!
She won me over waaay back in The Next Karate Kid!!! I still remember wishing she would have been in a sequel. So I would say: Totally HOT!!!!!
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12:57PM on 08/11/2008
She has a fantastic body and while she picks a wild grab bag of movies to be in she is a great actress when in a good movie. I think she is hot and she looks like the older sister of Missy Peregrym who is smoking hot.
She has a fantastic body and while she picks a wild grab bag of movies to be in she is a great actress when in a good movie. I think she is hot and she looks like the older sister of Missy Peregrym who is smoking hot.
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1:00PM on 08/11/2008
Julie-san: "Mr. Miyagi, how did you know my dress size?"

Mr. Miyagi: "Oh, heh, Miyagi knows."

Mr. Miyagi was a perv, can't say I blamed him though. Swank has an excellent athletic body. I dig her face, even though her teeth are a bit big, although I think big choppers scare guys for obvious reasons.
Julie-san: "Mr. Miyagi, how did you know my dress size?"

Mr. Miyagi: "Oh, heh, Miyagi knows."

Mr. Miyagi was a perv, can't say I blamed him though. Swank has an excellent athletic body. I dig her face, even though her teeth are a bit big, although I think big choppers scare guys for obvious reasons.
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12:59AM on 08/13/2008

She's F-I-N-E...

I picked her out many years ago as an up-and-coming hottie when she co-starred in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (The cheesy movie with Kristy Swanson, not the TV series.) Since then she's only gotten finer and finer. And while her "look" isn't everyone's cup of tea, she's the type that I always seem to go for.
I picked her out many years ago as an up-and-coming hottie when she co-starred in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (The cheesy movie with Kristy Swanson, not the TV series.) Since then she's only gotten finer and finer. And while her "look" isn't everyone's cup of tea, she's the type that I always seem to go for.
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