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Body Shop: Jolene Blalock

06.21.2010by: Mr. Pink

Happy belated Father's Day to all the dudes out there who've added spawn to the world and are there helping to raise them. If you're just a sperm donor of course, f*ck off :-) Now since I'm a dad myself I decided to gift myself with a lady who I've wanted to BS ever since I started writing this column. Now I'm having to dig deep to find a movie of hers to feature, which is not technically how we do things around here, but like I said, I'm gifting myself with a little: JOLENE BLALOCK!

Check her out in - Slow Burn

ASS (9/10):

There are clearer pics of her tush than the one below, and I think you'll find it a pleasant journey if you seek some of them out. But this is the one I wanted to use because it really gives a sense of the awesome amazingness of Blalock's full backside. Yum.

BOOBIES (9/10):

I don't really love the fake cans for the most part, but if I had to pick a favorite example of when they're done right it'd probably have to be Ms. Jolene. The damn things are just magical. I have absolutely no idea how anyone could be near this woman and be anything other than a boob staring moron. And I'm not even usually a tit guy.

FACE (8/10):

JB is in her mid-thirties and looks damn good for it, although I have to admit that part of my fascination with her is her resemblance to a Gelfling. You can judge me however you like, but DARK CRYSTAL had a big effect on me as a kid.

PERSONALITY (7/10):

Jolene asked her husband to marry her, so I like her forthrightness. She's also apparently an artist whose preferred medium is crayon. What's not to like? Now she did have some rough going with Trekkies for awhile over some Convention issues, but I just can't bring myself to hold that too much against her.

CAREER (5/10):

Other than on the short lived ENTERPRISE, our girl doesn't honestly have much to recommend her career wise. She is making a pretty good living showing up in guest starring roles on TV, but has not yet made any kind of real leap. Nevertheless, you can't discount anyone who has been a major part of one of the Star Trek franchises.

High points: NONE
Low points: SLOW BURN

OVERALL (9/10):

Jolene Blalock is sex on legs and pretty damn talented to boot. Why she hasn't found her way to the big screen in a more impressive manner so far escapes me, but at least there's lots of pics to stare at while I wait for the rest of the world to catch up.

Source: MovieHotties

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5:33PM on 06/21/2010

6/10

I appreciate you are obviously way into her but she is nothing special really. Pretty pretty pretty mediocre.
I appreciate you are obviously way into her but she is nothing special really. Pretty pretty pretty mediocre.
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+1
5:12PM on 06/21/2010
She doesn't do it for me.
She doesn't do it for me.
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1:35PM on 06/21/2010

Si

A body worth droppin' loads for. VERY SEX, VERY HOT, VERY YUMMY!
A body worth droppin' loads for. VERY SEX, VERY HOT, VERY YUMMY!
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1:29PM on 06/21/2010

nope

too fake for me
too fake for me
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12:49PM on 06/21/2010

zzzzzz

Wake me up when a movie hottie is Body Shopped....
Wake me up when a movie hottie is Body Shopped....
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11:13AM on 06/21/2010
She is a really hot woman. I don't like the fake boobs either but she does have a unique and sexy look.
She is a really hot woman. I don't like the fake boobs either but she does have a unique and sexy look.
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+2
9:56AM on 06/21/2010

cuyabunga!!!!

win points for growing up a beach bum party hardy wave bangin surfer girl.
win points for growing up a beach bum party hardy wave bangin surfer girl.
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8:44AM on 06/21/2010
I hate fake boobs, no matter how "good" they look. Other than that, she's very hot and looked amazing as a Vulcan chick. Oh, and please add Starship Troopers 3 to the Low Points, that was 1 of the worst... things I've ever seen
I hate fake boobs, no matter how "good" they look. Other than that, she's very hot and looked amazing as a Vulcan chick. Oh, and please add Starship Troopers 3 to the Low Points, that was 1 of the worst... things I've ever seen
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8:02AM on 06/21/2010

oh yeah

killer body...i agree completely with these ratings.
killer body...i agree completely with these ratings.
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