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Body Shop: Kim Kardashian

Nov. 7, 2011by: Mr. Pink

Well, been waiting to BS this chick for quite awhile, and she just happened to land a role around the time of her murder-suicide with the covenant of marriage. So the timing is a win-win for me. I know ahead of time there will be massive disagreements about today's article, but from my perspective, this chick is a complete certified hottie. She also appears to lack a soul. So does her being a black hole of suck preclude us from wanting to bang the sh!t out of: KIM KARDASHIAN!

Check her out in - The Marriage Counselor

ASS (10/10):

Can a butt be too big? Sure. This, however, is not the one that qualifies. Seeing a nice, round, Sir Mix-A-Lot inspired booty like this overtakes my common sense and common decency on just about all levels. Kim's got my second favorite celebrity butt behind Vida Guerra.

BOOBIES (8/10):

I hear the f word being thrown around by those who don't care for KimmyK, but she's usually in pretty good shape. And that shape includes a pair of tits that attached to any other body would inspire universal lust. They may not be the best around, but they sure as hell look nice enough to get anyone through a long night. I don't see any way to consider them something less than a superlative example of chest flesh.

FACE (8/10):

Quite a lovely mixture of exotic and girl next door playing out on this kisser. Sure she wears too much makeup, but that only becomes more clear when you see some of her au naturel looks that show she has a very pretty face without help. I know she has detractors, but from a purely physical perspective, I just don't see why.

PERSONALITY (3/10):

And here's where the whole beautiful temple thing comes crashing down. As with many reality stars, KK largely exists at the whims of her public. She appears to be little more than an empty vessel bound to the desires of her adoring fans. Even their hatred fuels her celebrity by virtue of celebrity. It's a vicious cycle that seems to extinguish any possibility of her development as a real person. Oh, and talking about how you helped Reggie Bush focus for his SuperBowl season with the New Orleans Saints didn't do you any favors in my eyes either you overreaching, self-entitled princess.

CAREER (4/10):

I still can't quite figure out how someone who has never done anything managed to build an entertainment empire. She is her own brand and sells it well. It's an annoying, vacuous, characterless brand, but it sells baby. It sells. So while I'd love to give her no credit here, I have to give some points for her seeming ability to make fame and money appear out of thin air.

High points: N/A
Low points: KIM K SUPERSTAR (THE SEX TAPE), DISASTER MOVIE

OVERALL (8/10):

Kim Kardashian has an epically bangin' body in my opinion. So much so that anytime I look at her pics I just want to jump head first into her. At the same time she is one of the most unfortunate human beings working the celebrity circuit today. So do I feel good about the overall rating here. No. I feel like a bad person for being so turned on by her. But I'm not gonna pretend like she's not a huge fantasy lay. Even if I'd wanna shoot myself afterward.

Source: MovieHotties

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8:03PM on 11/08/2011

Kimmy...

This chick really turns me inside out. She's beautiful, gorgeous face w/pouty lips, awesome raven hair, super tits and lovely ass. However she has a personality that is in the pits. She's all about the funds and would let a possum shit up in it.

Sorry Kimmy...you're a turd and need to be brought down a peg or two.

Get over yourself.
This chick really turns me inside out. She's beautiful, gorgeous face w/pouty lips, awesome raven hair, super tits and lovely ass. However she has a personality that is in the pits. She's all about the funds and would let a possum shit up in it.

Sorry Kimmy...you're a turd and need to be brought down a peg or two.

Get over yourself.
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1:31AM on 11/08/2011
Her ass looks the same as Dane Cook's face.
Her ass looks the same as Dane Cook's face.
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10:03PM on 11/07/2011

F*ck that noise.

I would not do this chick nor would I ever want anything to do with her -- NO WORD OF A LIE. I hate everything about her. And you know what? Her ass is frighteningly big. She's not fat, but it's HUGE. It's WAY too big. I don't dig it. Hell no, let her disappear already.
I would not do this chick nor would I ever want anything to do with her -- NO WORD OF A LIE. I hate everything about her. And you know what? Her ass is frighteningly big. She's not fat, but it's HUGE. It's WAY too big. I don't dig it. Hell no, let her disappear already.
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9:30PM on 11/07/2011
If you were to just show me her ass, I would say it was a good one. But I think its completely out of proportion from the rest of her body. That bikini pic just looks weird to me. I'm not much of an ass man anyway. Her boobs and face I would rate higher though. Her younger (?) sister, the one who had a baby with the douchebag, has a much better overall appearance than Kim in my opinion including the proportion of her curves.
If you were to just show me her ass, I would say it was a good one. But I think its completely out of proportion from the rest of her body. That bikini pic just looks weird to me. I'm not much of an ass man anyway. Her boobs and face I would rate higher though. Her younger (?) sister, the one who had a baby with the douchebag, has a much better overall appearance than Kim in my opinion including the proportion of her curves.
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8:42PM on 11/07/2011
If she were mute and had no way of communicating her so-called thoughts to others, she'd be the perfect woman.
If she were mute and had no way of communicating her so-called thoughts to others, she'd be the perfect woman.
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7:29PM on 11/07/2011
Kim K has one of the great asses of all time hands down. People who say she is fat and would never touch her are just trying to be different or don't have the yardage to enjoy an ass like that.
Kim K has one of the great asses of all time hands down. People who say she is fat and would never touch her are just trying to be different or don't have the yardage to enjoy an ass like that.
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6:39PM on 11/07/2011
Bodywise she is a complete 10 all around for real. I get that she is a fake celebrity like Paris & staged a fake marriage to gain ratings but i honestly cud give a damn with a body like that.
Bodywise she is a complete 10 all around for real. I get that she is a fake celebrity like Paris & staged a fake marriage to gain ratings but i honestly cud give a damn with a body like that.
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6:28PM on 11/07/2011
Straight up, I honestly feel any guy who say they wouldn't bang her is flat out lying. End of story. I don't pay much attention to tabloids and reality TV shit but I do know she is apparently the most vacuous bitch on the planet. Big deal. If she came knocking on my door shaking her shit in my face wouldn't think twice about how much of a bitch she is.
Straight up, I honestly feel any guy who say they wouldn't bang her is flat out lying. End of story. I don't pay much attention to tabloids and reality TV shit but I do know she is apparently the most vacuous bitch on the planet. Big deal. If she came knocking on my door shaking her shit in my face wouldn't think twice about how much of a bitch she is.
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5:03PM on 11/07/2011

Gorgeous body but

you were way too kind with her personality rating. I would have given her a 1/10, and that's being generous.
you were way too kind with her personality rating. I would have given her a 1/10, and that's being generous.
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4:36PM on 11/07/2011
Honestly, I know very little about Kim Kardashian, because I mostly just don't care. However, I think she's got a great body (anyone who thinks she's fat is completely insane--stick to anorexic chicks and underage boys), especially that ass. There is nothing wrong with a big (or even fat) ass. The same goes for her breasts.
Honestly, I know very little about Kim Kardashian, because I mostly just don't care. However, I think she's got a great body (anyone who thinks she's fat is completely insane--stick to anorexic chicks and underage boys), especially that ass. There is nothing wrong with a big (or even fat) ass. The same goes for her breasts.
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4:31PM on 11/07/2011
She might suck as a person, but good god she has an amazing body and an undeniably attractive face. Can't fight facts.
She might suck as a person, but good god she has an amazing body and an undeniably attractive face. Can't fight facts.
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2:48PM on 11/07/2011
Not my favorite either. I consider the rich version of Poor White Trash. But that body is hotty!!!
Not my favorite either. I consider the rich version of Poor White Trash. But that body is hotty!!!
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12:58PM on 11/07/2011
Ok, I officially dare you guys to do a verifiably ugly girl on here, just to prove that you are indeed capable of giving a score lower than a 6. I'm not sure I've ever seen a 6 on here, but I'm damn sure I've never seen anything lower.
Ok, I officially dare you guys to do a verifiably ugly girl on here, just to prove that you are indeed capable of giving a score lower than a 6. I'm not sure I've ever seen a 6 on here, but I'm damn sure I've never seen anything lower.
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12:47PM on 11/07/2011
Not the hottest or my favorite woman out there, but there is no way in hell I would say no.
Not the hottest or my favorite woman out there, but there is no way in hell I would say no.
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11:32AM on 11/07/2011
Next up on The Body Shop: Rossanne Barr also gets an 8/10!

Seriously, this chick is ugly, fat, (yes - that ass is FAT! Not tempting, unless you're into FAT chicks.) She's epically stupid, and judging by her public life, (which is obviously the only one she leads,) she is a horrible person. Yeah, it sure is a fucking mystery why folks don't like her.
Next up on The Body Shop: Rossanne Barr also gets an 8/10!

Seriously, this chick is ugly, fat, (yes - that ass is FAT! Not tempting, unless you're into FAT chicks.) She's epically stupid, and judging by her public life, (which is obviously the only one she leads,) she is a horrible person. Yeah, it sure is a fucking mystery why folks don't like her.
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6:41PM on 11/07/2011
gets yur facts straight, that is not fat ya freaking moron, would ya say the same thing about that overrated Christina Hendricks
gets yur facts straight, that is not fat ya freaking moron, would ya say the same thing about that overrated Christina Hendricks
9:32PM on 11/07/2011
How the fuck can you possibly justify calling her fat? A big ass does not equal fat, its just a big ass.
How the fuck can you possibly justify calling her fat? A big ass does not equal fat, its just a big ass.
1:30AM on 11/08/2011
I can justify calling her fat by pointing out that ENORMOUS ass. You could hide a semi behind that thing. All you need is eyes and to not be retarded and you'll see the bitch has a fat ass.
I can justify calling her fat by pointing out that ENORMOUS ass. You could hide a semi behind that thing. All you need is eyes and to not be retarded and you'll see the bitch has a fat ass.
1:47AM on 11/08/2011
And for the other mental giant who replied, I have my 'facts' straight, son. You need to get your eyes checked, ya blind retard. And I HAVE said the same thing about Christina Hendricks - cuz she has an enormous ass as well. Although she's not as butt-ugly as KK.
And for the other mental giant who replied, I have my 'facts' straight, son. You need to get your eyes checked, ya blind retard. And I HAVE said the same thing about Christina Hendricks - cuz she has an enormous ass as well. Although she's not as butt-ugly as KK.
1:51AM on 11/08/2011
And to all the other chubby-chasers here, please keep the thumbs down coming. I love seeing the proof that so many people here are into ugly fat broads. It helps prove my theories about Humanity.
And to all the other chubby-chasers here, please keep the thumbs down coming. I love seeing the proof that so many people here are into ugly fat broads. It helps prove my theories about Humanity.
4:30AM on 11/08/2011
well i guess you would prefer either stick figured women or fake plastic barbies & thats your right to have a different taste...are you by any chance related to r.o.u.s, a poster who had the oddest taste in critiquing on here
well i guess you would prefer either stick figured women or fake plastic barbies & thats your right to have a different taste...are you by any chance related to r.o.u.s, a poster who had the oddest taste in critiquing on here
1:23AM on 11/09/2011
This conversation went exactly the way I thought it would with someone named TheAngryTroll. Who wants to place some bets that this guy weighs around 300 pounds himself?
This conversation went exactly the way I thought it would with someone named TheAngryTroll. Who wants to place some bets that this guy weighs around 300 pounds himself?
11:31AM on 11/07/2011
Being totally 100% Superficial shes allright, my favorite part would be her boobs but her ass is definitely a bit too much, seeing as how you mention Vida Guerra (eww) I understand you giving it a 10 and that's where I disagree the most
Being totally 100% Superficial shes allright, my favorite part would be her boobs but her ass is definitely a bit too much, seeing as how you mention Vida Guerra (eww) I understand you giving it a 10 and that's where I disagree the most
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+0
10:54AM on 11/07/2011
I'd smash her and love every second of it.
I'd smash her and love every second of it.
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10:42AM on 11/07/2011
I would have liked her more if she lower her level of public hunger. She's over exposed herself to all kind of media. Is she hot or not? My answer is yes.
I would have liked her more if she lower her level of public hunger. She's over exposed herself to all kind of media. Is she hot or not? My answer is yes.
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10:24AM on 11/07/2011
For the purpose of this column, she fits.
For the purpose of this column, she fits.
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9:56AM on 11/07/2011

just hide her name and...

.....and everyone would be giving 10/10...

H-O-T
.....and everyone would be giving 10/10...

H-O-T
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+3
9:41AM on 11/07/2011
She has a cartoonish ass and is stupid on an epic level. What's not to despise ?
She has a cartoonish ass and is stupid on an epic level. What's not to despise ?
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+12
9:36AM on 11/07/2011
Her personality is a big turn off.
Her personality is a big turn off.
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9:31AM on 11/07/2011
I-don't-fucking-get-it. What is this woman's appeal?! There are women out there contributing something to the world who look so much better than this skank ass hoe! Get over it people!
I-don't-fucking-get-it. What is this woman's appeal?! There are women out there contributing something to the world who look so much better than this skank ass hoe! Get over it people!
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8:59AM on 11/07/2011
The fact that she made her success by being a back-stabbing skank and the fact that she really is a fucking idiot makes her 100% unappealing to me.
Ever heard an interview with her and her sisters? Darwin would shudder in his grave.
The fact that she made her success by being a back-stabbing skank and the fact that she really is a fucking idiot makes her 100% unappealing to me.
Ever heard an interview with her and her sisters? Darwin would shudder in his grave.
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+8
8:38AM on 11/07/2011

Disagree too

She's too big and I don't see the appear either. For full-figured, Sofia Vergara is IT.
She's too big and I don't see the appear either. For full-figured, Sofia Vergara is IT.
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8:22AM on 11/07/2011

Disagree

Everyone's entitled to their opinion but I really don't see the appeal of this girl. I'm normally more attracted to women with fuller figures but she is just not attractive (In my opinion)
Everyone's entitled to their opinion but I really don't see the appeal of this girl. I'm normally more attracted to women with fuller figures but she is just not attractive (In my opinion)
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