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Body Shop: Kristen Bell

Mar. 3, 2008by: Mr. Pink

I recognize there's a whole sea of upcoming hotties out there that haven't gotten a lot of attention here in the Body Shop. Mostly that reflects a personal preference for non-Flavor of the Week sass. However, some chicas are starting to lift their head out of that limb-y whitewashed orgy to actually establish a presence. One of 'em gets the honor of this week's breakdown: KRISTEN BELL!

Check her out in - Forgetting Sarah Marshall

ASS (8/10):

This is a pretty fine little booty that KBell presents to the world. Almost perfect teardrop shape from the side, and having done diligent research, I can confidently state it's totally solid from the back as well. Cuppable is the adjective that immediately springs to mind, but that fails to give sufficient credit. Perhaps we'll go with huggable.

BOOBIES (4/10):

Small and flattish. Plus they don't have a particularly great shape when unleashed. Kris does have that seeming ubiquitous Hollywood talent for making her nipple carriers look pretty great when given a bra assist, but the reality is just grim (NSFW).

FACE (5/10):

I don't see why people are going gaga over the hotness of this face. I see a transvestite version of Owen Wilson sans broken nose for the most part. Well, maybe that's a little harsh, but still this is not top quality tastiness by any stretch of the imagination. And that's without factoring in her completely distracting lazy eye (or whatever the hell is going on with that thing).

PERSONALITY (6/10):

OK, I'll make this simple. Anyone in the world who is a vegetarian, used to be a vegan but had to give it up because of her love of cheese, but is still a vegetarian is going to annoy the crap out of my carnivorous soul. The general outlook just annoys me. But then again, Bell was in the stage version and movie remake of Reefer Madness. So I'll give her a little bit of credit, but for the most part if you don't eat meat for non-health related reasons I have to assume you're a bit of an a-hole.

CAREER (5/10):

Most of her success has come from T.V. so far, and while I know people went nuts over Veronica Mars, I don't know anybody who actually watched the damn thing. Movies haven't been a big plus yet. Her turn in the interesting Roman was actually the dullest part of an otherwise intriguingly disturbed tale. Expect her stock to rise this summer, though, as she jumps on board the Apatow juggernaut with Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

High points: SPARTAN, REEFER MADNESS: THE MOVIE MUSICAL
Low points: PULSE, ROMAN

OVERALL (6/10):

A lot of young talent gets a shot at relevance just because US Weekly tells people the person is "hot". Usually it's a lot of hullabaloo over nothing, but occasionally the "star" makes good with the opportunity and starts to build something interesting. Bell may not be well out of the starting gates yet in terms of longevity, but she does seem to be working towards becoming a legit presence. Only time will tell if she's got the chops to last, but best of luck as she tries to stay afloat in 'dem shark infested waters.

Source: MovieHotties
Tags: kristen bell

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11:00PM on 03/03/2008
Dude, I think it's just that pic you took for why face gets a bad score. My ratings are....

ass = 7
boobies = 5
face = 5
personality = 8
career = 6 (points for VM, heroes, and fanboys)

overall = still 6, but a high one unlike the low she seems to be getting here.
Dude, I think it's just that pic you took for why face gets a bad score. My ratings are....

ass = 7
boobies = 5
face = 5
personality = 8
career = 6 (points for VM, heroes, and fanboys)

overall = still 6, but a high one unlike the low she seems to be getting here.
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5:41PM on 03/03/2008
lazy eye? what the fuck?
that's harsh.
i'm with these guys on this one, pink.
lazy eye? what the fuck?
that's harsh.
i'm with these guys on this one, pink.
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2:16PM on 03/03/2008

Obsession Worthy

Kristen Bell was built to be obsessed over. I kinda figured that was a given. Hearing someone tear her down is like listening to someone from the flat earth society.

"if you don't eat meat for non-health related reasons I have to assume you're a bit of an a-hole..." Or a chick.

That arguement only works for dudes.

6/10 on personality is the biggest shocker. Kristen Bell is pure personality , its the engine that drives her hottness.
Kristen Bell was built to be obsessed over. I kinda figured that was a given. Hearing someone tear her down is like listening to someone from the flat earth society.

"if you don't eat meat for non-health related reasons I have to assume you're a bit of an a-hole..." Or a chick.

That arguement only works for dudes.

6/10 on personality is the biggest shocker. Kristen Bell is pure personality , its the engine that drives her hottness.
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12:46PM on 03/03/2008
Yeah, really - to each his own, but I find Kristen Bell's face a lot prettier than Uma Thurman's. But, like I've already said, to each his own.
Yeah, really - to each his own, but I find Kristen Bell's face a lot prettier than Uma Thurman's. But, like I've already said, to each his own.
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12:19PM on 03/03/2008

What?...

Lazy eye? Owen Wilson? Dude...either you're you have ridiculously high standards that warp your personal reality, or you're blind. Perhaps a bit of both.
Lazy eye? Owen Wilson? Dude...either you're you have ridiculously high standards that warp your personal reality, or you're blind. Perhaps a bit of both.
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