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Body Shop: Mary Louise Parker

Apr. 26, 2010by: Mr. Pink

After making us all feel at risk for ending up on a list somewhere, thought maybe we should turn to a more seasoned lass this week. And in honor of the recently passed 4/20 celebration, there's an opportunity to pull a twofer by focusing on a chick from WEEDS. Of course I'm talking about: MARY LOUISE PARKER!

Check her out in - Solitary Man

ASS (8/10):

Parker's got a fairly bony butt, yet I find myself strangely drawn to it. Part of the reason is the surprisingly soft underside. As you can see here and here, she's transporting a backside that probably breaks any number of international laws.

BOOBIES (5/10):

Sorry to say that chest is not Mary Louise's best feature. In fact, it's dangerously close to being flat out unappealing. The one saving grace is that she has absolutely delectable nipples, but the surrounding flesh is not particularly noteworthy (NSFW).

FACE (7/10):

I think MLP could be a very attractive woman, but something about the way her face hangs just seems dopey to me. Add to that a slightly too square jaw and it's a problem. Not that she isn't hotter than the average bear, but compared to Tinseltown's finest, I just don't think she's in the same league. That said, she is fairly unique looking, so I won't be surprised if some fans of hers come to her defense.

PERSONALITY (7/10):

Ms. Parker is admirably willing to get naked, and certainly has a playful side at times, but there are some serious downsides too. She often comes across as a bit dour which is a massive turnoff. Even more unsettling though is the fact that she almost always seems to be holding back from the moment, kind of acting as though she's above the fray. And that's not much fun to hang out with, and is usually pretty inaccurate.

CAREER (7/10):

It's rare to find an actress this well known, and accomplished, who hasn't had better roles in better movies. Much of Parker's profile comes from TV work like her stint on THE WEST WING, and her time on Showtime's WEEDS. She's certainly been prolific, both on and off the stage. As to why she hasn't broken out in a more convincing fashion, it's hard to pinpoint, but it does help illustrate just how fickle H'wood can be.

High points: FRIED GREEN TOMATOES, BULLETS OVER BROADWAY, ROMANCE & CIGARETTES
Low points: BOYS ON THE SIDE, LET THE DEVIL WEAR BLACK, THE BEST THIEF IN THE WORLD

OVERALL (7/10):

Mary Louise Parker is one of those women who a 7 was made for. She's got some yumminess to entice, and some not so yummy to push away. Most importantly is that she's here to stay, much to the delight of ass lovers and pot heads everywhere.

Source: MovieHotties

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2:10PM on 04/27/2010
She looks crazy. I'd have to chain her up before poking her.
She looks crazy. I'd have to chain her up before poking her.
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6:40AM on 04/27/2010
She would't need any makeup to scare me shitless in a horror movie. She should just open... those... eyes... WIDE.
She would't need any makeup to scare me shitless in a horror movie. She should just open... those... eyes... WIDE.
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8:45PM on 04/26/2010
I didn't used to think much of her back in the day, but she's steadily grown on me over the years.
I didn't used to think much of her back in the day, but she's steadily grown on me over the years.
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+8
8:19PM on 04/26/2010
I worked for her crazy ass on Red Dragon (I worked on the production), and she's a looney toon. She got livid and flipped over a craft service table because we didn't have the exact kind of spring water that she requested. She also changed hotels seven different times during shooting too. To make a long post short, she's an insane high maintenance bitch, and after you meet her in person, you'll know exactly why Billy Crudup left her ass.
I worked for her crazy ass on Red Dragon (I worked on the production), and she's a looney toon. She got livid and flipped over a craft service table because we didn't have the exact kind of spring water that she requested. She also changed hotels seven different times during shooting too. To make a long post short, she's an insane high maintenance bitch, and after you meet her in person, you'll know exactly why Billy Crudup left her ass.
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8:27PM on 04/26/2010
Amen brother, I know exactly what you mean. I worked for Mary Louise Parker on a lifetime original movie a few years back, and she's nuts. Anne Heche is the only actress that's more of a high maintenance prima donna than Parker.
Amen brother, I know exactly what you mean. I worked for Mary Louise Parker on a lifetime original movie a few years back, and she's nuts. Anne Heche is the only actress that's more of a high maintenance prima donna than Parker.
4:37PM on 04/26/2010
I think she is absolutely gorgeous and a thoroughly class act.
I think she is absolutely gorgeous and a thoroughly class act.
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3:45PM on 04/26/2010
She reminds me of Evangeline Lilly but that is a good thing.
She reminds me of Evangeline Lilly but that is a good thing.
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11:42AM on 04/26/2010
I think she is incredibly hot, one of my very favourites. Love the fact that she knows she has a great ass and shows it off. Over 40 and getting sexier by the day, she is a 10 to me.
I think she is incredibly hot, one of my very favourites. Love the fact that she knows she has a great ass and shows it off. Over 40 and getting sexier by the day, she is a 10 to me.
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10:25AM on 04/26/2010
She's attractive. She's a great actress and Weeds is a great show.
She's attractive. She's a great actress and Weeds is a great show.
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9:57AM on 04/26/2010
I think she's a great actress, but she looks too much like one of my aunts when she was younger that I don't really focus on if she's hot.
I think she's a great actress, but she looks too much like one of my aunts when she was younger that I don't really focus on if she's hot.
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9:12AM on 04/26/2010
She has been around for many years, so ya I'd call her a cougar, her assets fit her body type even after having kids, so ya she is hot! Fair scores all around though
She has been around for many years, so ya I'd call her a cougar, her assets fit her body type even after having kids, so ya she is hot! Fair scores all around though
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8:18AM on 04/26/2010
She was so hot in Weeds and Red Dragon. It also helps she's a very good actress, if a bit of a prima donna.
She was so hot in Weeds and Red Dragon. It also helps she's a very good actress, if a bit of a prima donna.
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