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Body Shop: Megan Fox

Apr. 14, 2008by: Mr. Pink

I've always found it ridiculous when people talk about someone being "too good-looking". I mean, c'mon. But then this week's hottie hit the scene, and I think I finally got it. 'Cause her substantial beauty has a quality that is distinctly creepy. So for showing that hotness can burn too bright, let's turn our lens to: MEGAN FOX!

Check her out in - Jennifer's Body

ASS (8/10):

Tasty, tasty, tasty. Especially for a skinny chick. Fox's booty looks a bit more enticing in pictures then it naturally should because she's a super-pro at the butt jut. Still, even though a relaxed silhouette would show that the top portion is significantly flatter than her rounded inverted slopes, there's no reason to quibble about details here. Fine haunches are definitely a strength in this lass' toolbox of hotness.

BOOBIES (6/10):

Surprisingly, Megan's twins appear to be all that, but lack the bag of chips. A number of magazine spreads have ambitiously given ample lift to this lady's fine chest. But when observed in their unleavened state, these shirt stretchers act like an Easy Bake oven - promising a much more delicious treat than they can deliver.

FACE (8/10):

Nearly flawless, but also apparently soulless beauty. Something akin to an anime robot with a little Edward James Olmos mixed in (we see you pockmarks!) I can't argue with anyone who thinks she should be rated higher here, but for me it's like trying to rate the hottest robot in the world. There's about as much going on behind those eyes as you see with Laura Bush. I smell an invasion force coming.

PERSONALITY (4/10):

Megs comes across as exactly what she looks like - a bitchy, prima donna pain in the azz. Young beauty gives you that loan if you care to cash it, but the interest is a killer (or lack thereof as the years go by). And don't bother acting like her tattoos are some indication that she's deeper than the average flavor of the week or that it shows she eschews beauty. It's just her meaningless and immature f*ck you to a world that will do anything she wants anyway as long as she's this young and bangin'.

CAREER (5/10):

Before you guys read me the riot act, I thought Transformers was largely a splashy missed opportunity, but nevertheless it was a highlight for MF's fledgling movie career. Overall she's been a remarkably pretty face in product mostly notable for its mediocrity. Still, she's managed to land a plumb role in Diablo Cody's next project, so while her current CV should rate even lower, her future prospects look bright. Thus I'm splitting the difference.

High points: TRANSFORMERS
Low points: ANYTHING ELSE

OVERALL (6/10):

Man I'm gonna catch hell for this I can tell. But when you add everything up - from the absent star power, to the apparent vacuum between her ears, and add in that her hotness, while undeniable, is outright creepy - sorry but I gotta call a spade a spade. There's certainly plenty of room for potential improvement in the Fox bottom line, but if I thought she was likely to go the distance I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. As you can see, I don't.

Source: MovieHotties
Tags: megan fox

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+1
7:08PM on 10/18/2009
These ratings should be in braille, because they're done by a blind man. Unlike you, I've actually met Megan. No she's not perfect, but she's a 9. And that's while putting up with media nerds with hard-ons for "Megan Fox" and no clue about Megan.
These ratings should be in braille, because they're done by a blind man. Unlike you, I've actually met Megan. No she's not perfect, but she's a 9. And that's while putting up with media nerds with hard-ons for "Megan Fox" and no clue about Megan.
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10:40PM on 09/01/2008

wow...way hotter than a 6

Am I the only one who thinks the career section has shit all to do with hotness?
Am I the only one who thinks the career section has shit all to do with hotness?
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8:56AM on 04/17/2008
I've only seen her in Transformers and that's not really a fair movie to judge her on. So I remain unsure until I've seen something else with her.

But she is SMOKING HOT! If she's a robot then I guess I sure as hell wouldn't mind to fuck a robot! If she's a robot then she's the sexiest robot of all time.
I've only seen her in Transformers and that's not really a fair movie to judge her on. So I remain unsure until I've seen something else with her.

But she is SMOKING HOT! If she's a robot then I guess I sure as hell wouldn't mind to fuck a robot! If she's a robot then she's the sexiest robot of all time.
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5:31PM on 04/16/2008
No,no,no,no. You guys got it all wrong. She is by far one of the hottest women...ahhh fuck it I don't feel like debating this.
No,no,no,no. You guys got it all wrong. She is by far one of the hottest women...ahhh fuck it I don't feel like debating this.
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3:08PM on 04/14/2008
I also agree. Overrated, ugly, bitchy, no talent. The only thing that can save her is her ass.

Too bad I'm not an ass man.
I also agree. Overrated, ugly, bitchy, no talent. The only thing that can save her is her ass.

Too bad I'm not an ass man.
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1:39PM on 04/14/2008
I totally agree. She's way overrated. The tattoos and the fact that she seems to be pissed off and disgusted by everything just makes me wish people wouldn't hype her up so much.
I totally agree. She's way overrated. The tattoos and the fact that she seems to be pissed off and disgusted by everything just makes me wish people wouldn't hype her up so much.
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