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Body Shop: Michelle Trachtenberg

Dec. 29, 2008by: Mr. Pink
100%

With New Year's Eve coming up I thought it'd be worthwhile to take a look at a hottie of an order that you might have a chance to find yourself smooching come midnight. I think our lass this week is exactly the type you should shoot for, as she's got a smoking hot body, but definitely had some awkwardness growing up and is not so hot now that you couldn't take advantage of some old self-esteem issues to close the deal. So who wants to hook up with: MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG!

Check her out in - 17 Again

ASS (9/10):

Sweet jiminy would somebody please convince the Trach to flip her opinion on appearing in a Maxim or Stuff photo spread? Please? This lady is rocking a trunk that'll make a grown man cry. I don't really have anything else to say. It's...just...so...beautiful.

BOOBIES (9/10):

A lot of times nature seems to insist on balance. When a chica has an ultra high quality bootie the front trunk is, on many occasions, lacking. But not here my friends. Sooooo not here. Michelle does have a Lohan-like ability to run too skinny and lose some amplitude, but overall she is delivering the boob equivalent of spicy sauce in a very tasty way.

FACE (6/10):

Butter face, pure and simple. MT gets a slight uptick from average because with plenty of styling she does have the ability to look pretty good in a photo, but that doesn't change reality. She and Heather Matarazzo have a very similar vibe, and baby, it just ain't that great.

PERSONALITY (5/10):

Huh? Oh sorry, I was staring at her ass. She basically just seems boring. Here's a sampling - "My confidence comes from me, Michelle, as a person. I don't necessarily believe that I will act and be a lead forever, but I want to continue to act for a long time. I love to do what I do." Yawn. Oh, apparently she loves gardening too! And gymnastics makes her tush black and blue. I'm sure her Hello Kitty collection is taking careful notes.

CAREER (6/10):

Trachtenberg seems to lack the presence to ever be a particularly interesting actress, although her Buffy pedigree and smoking hot body guarantee she'll receive fanlove probably for the rest of her days. Beyond that let me just say - meh.

High points: EURO TRIP
Low points: INSPECTOR GADGET, BLACK CHRISTMAS

OVERALL (7/10):

Weird mixture here, since Michelle Trachtenberg is thermonuclear hot below the neck, but everything that requires the participation of her face/brain nexus falls flat. One assumes she'll eventually do a 180 and give the masses some nudity to revive a destined to be flagging career. Let's just hope she doesn't wait too long, 'cause not many are going to pay her much mind until then.

Source: MovieHotties

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4:10PM on 12/29/2008
Still pretty off. This time I think you went a little TO high on the ass. lol. I also think you're way off on the face. She has a very natural, girl next door hotness that I love.

And am I the only one who thinks the career part of the rating should be taken out? Its rather pointless on a hotness scale.

Still pretty off. This time I think you went a little TO high on the ass. lol. I also think you're way off on the face. She has a very natural, girl next door hotness that I love.

And am I the only one who thinks the career part of the rating should be taken out? Its rather pointless on a hotness scale.

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6:17PM on 12/29/2008
I really like Michelle Trachtenberg and would give her high ratings in all categories.

As to the previous post, I would keep the career rating. Seeing a woman who is good at her job can be a turn on.
I really like Michelle Trachtenberg and would give her high ratings in all categories.

As to the previous post, I would keep the career rating. Seeing a woman who is good at her job can be a turn on.
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7:28PM on 12/29/2008
Yeah, keep the career part cuz I agree with smacaskill. Otherwise I agree on pretty much everything once again in this rating (though I wouldnt necessarily call her a butter face, I think she has the girl next door hotness too).
Yeah, keep the career part cuz I agree with smacaskill. Otherwise I agree on pretty much everything once again in this rating (though I wouldnt necessarily call her a butter face, I think she has the girl next door hotness too).
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8:26PM on 12/29/2008
Michelle Trachtenberg really "does it" for me. She is insanely hot! You are absolutely wrong about the face. It is an odd mixture of features, to be sure, but I don't want a face that looks like 10,000 others. It gives her a unique beauty that simply pushes her over the edge.
Michelle Trachtenberg really "does it" for me. She is insanely hot! You are absolutely wrong about the face. It is an odd mixture of features, to be sure, but I don't want a face that looks like 10,000 others. It gives her a unique beauty that simply pushes her over the edge.
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12:45AM on 12/30/2008
She has grown up into a pretty woman.

Hope her career picks up from the crapper.
She has grown up into a pretty woman.

Hope her career picks up from the crapper.
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11:09AM on 12/30/2008

Quirky hot...

I agree that "butter face" is way too harsh. MT is fine-looking in a quirky cute way. I agree with Crazy Dud -- she just "does it" for me too.
I agree that "butter face" is way too harsh. MT is fine-looking in a quirky cute way. I agree with Crazy Dud -- she just "does it" for me too.
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4:17PM on 12/30/2008
her face is adorable. she is indeed pretty. I'd give her an 8 out of 10.
her face is adorable. she is indeed pretty. I'd give her an 8 out of 10.
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