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Body Shop: Milla Jovovich

Sep. 3, 2007by: Mr. Pink

Despite being a total pain in the ass through that whole Cold War thing, Russia has provided the Western world with some notable exports to make up for it. There's vodka of course, plus that funny kick dance, those tall furry hats, and today's ass-kicking supermodel. Presenting a babe you do NOT want to fuck with: MILLA JOVOVICH!

Check her out in - Resident Evil: Extinction

ASS (7/10):

For a skinny chick Milla's got a pretty solid boo-tay. Good squeezable shape with a center line that splits her hindquarters in a symmetrical, sunny way. No problems fixing a smile on my face when I get a glimpse of that tasty backyard.

BOOBIES (7/10):

Jovovich is officially listed as a B-cup, which has to qualify as the smallest B-cup in the known universe. Fortunately for her (or us depending on your perspective), they are also amazingly round with fantastic poppers to top it all off. I mean, there's really no way her boobs should be as hot as they are, but their combo of sculpted shapeliness and non-bra needing size is a potent dish. The sight of her throw pillows in a thin white tee is enough to inspire some stammering even in the most devout of big tit fans. It gets even better when they are unleashed (NSFW)!

FACE (9/10):

Her face is a work of art. Given the massive intensity she exudes, and the chameleon-like ability she has to take on many different vibes (fem, dom, masculine, petite, etc.), it's easy to overlook the fact that this face is as perfect an example of the classic Russian-beauty as you're likely to encounter. It all works, and man she knows how to use it to devastating effect.

PERSONALITY (9/10):

Having been in a hurricane, and in the presence of Jovo, I can tell you the experiences are not dissimilar - wild, beautiful, and kinda scary all at the same time. The amount of energy this woman possesses is flat out sick. I'm sure most would get exhausted quickly in the face of it, but what a wonderful ride to be on until you have to go throw up. There's something legitimately inspiring about people who are so relentlessly ambitious, energetic, and cheerful.

CAREER (7/10):

Not content to be the simple eye candy most supermodels turned actresses become, JoJoBean took the approach that she'd wear whatever skimpy outfit filmmakers wanted to put her in, but she was going to kick ass and act hard while wearing it. She's made herself a marketable female action star (almost unheard of), and has also earned enough respect to get credit as a real thespian. Not too shabby.

High points: THE FIFTH ELEMENT, ZOOLANDER, RESIDENT EVIL
Low points: RETURN TO THE BLUE LAGOON, THE CLAIM, ULTRAVIOLET

OVERALL (8/10):

Beautiful, sexy, and talented, what more do you want from your starlets? Milla's frenetic energy may be too much for mortal men to keep up with, but I'll bet you'd be hard pressed to find me one who wouldn't like to try!

Source: MovieHotties

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+1
2:07AM on 09/07/2007

One of my all time favs

Milla is one of my all time favorite girls. Loved her since 5th element, and actually saw the messenger in theatres because of her. And there's nothing wrong with her boobs. Hot all the way around.
Milla is one of my all time favorite girls. Loved her since 5th element, and actually saw the messenger in theatres because of her. And there's nothing wrong with her boobs. Hot all the way around.
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1:33AM on 09/03/2007

umm...no

Milla is very hot and all. And I agree, it's cool that she can be a formiddable action star. And her face is beautiful. And her ass is nice too. But no way in hell does she get a 7 on her mammary glands! That has ALWAYS bugged me most about her. Her jugs are non-existent! At highest they get a 4. Even if your not a boob man....you still want boobs.
Milla is very hot and all. And I agree, it's cool that she can be a formiddable action star. And her face is beautiful. And her ass is nice too. But no way in hell does she get a 7 on her mammary glands! That has ALWAYS bugged me most about her. Her jugs are non-existent! At highest they get a 4. Even if your not a boob man....you still want boobs.
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5:17PM on 10/18/2009
Yes, that laughable 7 for the empty space where Milla's jugs should be really puts the "blo" in "joblo." It's not just that Milla is totally flat-chested, she has those freakishly large nips to rate 1 at best.
Yes, that laughable 7 for the empty space where Milla's jugs should be really puts the "blo" in "joblo." It's not just that Milla is totally flat-chested, she has those freakishly large nips to rate 1 at best.
-2
5:22PM on 10/18/2009
As ragekorne said, Milla Jovovich only has air where her boobs should be. With her freakishly large nips, Milla's chest is positively unattractive. Seven? More like zero.
As ragekorne said, Milla Jovovich only has air where her boobs should be. With her freakishly large nips, Milla's chest is positively unattractive. Seven? More like zero.
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-2
10:18AM on 09/03/2007
Yeah dude. Can't say I agree with you on the sweater cows. And it's not that they're too small, their shape is just...I dunno...it's just not attractive. Every time she whips them out in Resident Evil...eh...
Yeah dude. Can't say I agree with you on the sweater cows. And it's not that they're too small, their shape is just...I dunno...it's just not attractive. Every time she whips them out in Resident Evil...eh...
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